[Entry into Nannade’s notebook]

Mission: Get Lopatinov’s retrieval ledger

Employer: the liberators

Payment: location of desperation pass

Location: Lopatinov’s mansion.

Situation: Lopatinov is a rich land owner who manages runaway slaves & the bounties on them. Most slaves have no individual bounty, but some represent important assets.

has a rather large mansion.

Likes whores. Whores -> bribe! I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH COIN!!

Disguise as whore & sneak in? Too suspicious!

Scale wall, get in concealed by rat spirits? Wards are strong, will be hard.

Could reconstruct Garetas’ embracing Shadows Spell

[several attempts at reconstructing, all struck through, notes read:

How did he get it to stay solid?

Can’t deduce the solidification command!

Probably forgot half the glyphs

end]

Use spirits to conceal is best shot. Need material to bind. Don’t have any sinew or hair long enough. Maybe blood on fresh rat skin? Short lived contract, might be more powerful. Need a lot of preparation.

Can’t deal with this. Maybe shouldn’t have come here. Guards are looking for me. A stupid little crolachan girl. Am I still crolachan?

[long trailing lines&patterns]

Am I still crolachan? I never knew any except mammy & pappy. Now people tell me I’m different, but they can’t tell. No one can. Maybe need to meet one of my kind. Maybe need to go to Halonnes.

I am no longer the Nannade that her mother died for. Black blood is proof. Why am I this horrible person? Why did I spit on my mother’s corpse? Should never have listened to Ssil. She’s not evil. But she shouldn’t be with me. Why did I listen to her? She is hiding something from me.

A few months ago, I wed my best friends. Now I have to prove I am still human or be executed. How could it come to this?

But I’m not. I’m not human. I’m crolachan. I used to be crolachan. I’m different now. Am I Ssil? Am I Nannade? Mother gave me that name but I spat on her corpse. My blood’s black in her love. The vial is the last bit of proof that Nannade once existed.

It’s cold. I miss my hammock. I miss Garetas’ snoring. Back when I was little, he never cuddled back. Elissa did. But I still liked his warmth. I have no one now.

Just want to run away sometimes. See the distant woods & yearn to run there. Free & wild. Want to hunt & make my own clothes from hides & bones. But I won't spit on Elissa’s & Garetas’ trust.

Have to get this ledger. No teacher around to make plans for me. I will save Garetas & Elissa. Won’t let them down.

[End of entry]