《Magician Endeavour》Chapter 18 & 19 - The Feelings
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Ever since the announcement of the contest by Sarah between her son, Alex, and Luna, the two children were put through rigorous training respectively. The winner would able to control the timetable in which Alex was having his lessons, and both teachers wanted to make decisions based on their own expertise.
Due to the challenge, both Alex and Luna were no longer training in the same place, with Luna training in the front of the house while Alex trained in the backyard. This way, neither side would know what the their opponent was teaching their students. But, the tension in the air was causing the children to feel very upset because both Lucia and Samuel were stiff whenever they encountered each other.
“Why are they taking this so seriously?” Luna asked her childhood friend after witnessing this behaviour for two days straight.
Alex shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Adults are a strange bunch of creatures. We can never understand them.” But he thought to himself, “Although, I have this feeling I used to be stubborn like them in my past life. No memories, but… this feeling… it’s hard to ignore what it is.”
And so, four days went by in a flash and on the firth day, both teachers were pushing their students towards a dramatic improvement. For Alex, he was feeling excited at the prospect of learning more magic so quickly, but at the same time, he did not like seeing his beloved childhood friend in pain.
Each and every time her lesson was over, Luna looked over at him sadly, but she never came over to express the anguish she felt on the inside. At first, Alex worried that his father was being too rough on her, but when he secretly spied on their training, all he could notice was that she was being pushed to her limits physically to surpass the normal restraints of her body.
“That’s going to hurt,” he muttered, feeling sad for her and leaving helplessly in not being able to do anything about it.
While he was training his magic, his mind was elsewhere as the pained look of his childhood friend remained in his mind like a permanent mark. It was the first time in his life he saw her looking sad and the training she was put through was paining her, but they had no other choice. Because of his worry for her, his magic had been weak to the point that Lucia noticed immediately that something was preoccupying his mind.
“Is it Luna?” She asked him curiously.
He became startled at her sudden question and said, “Huh?”
“I knew it,” his teacher replied with a wide smile. “You really love that girl, don’t you?”
“Maybe,” replied Alex quietly, and he looked down at his hands, “but what good does it do when I can’t protect her? Dad’s not hurting her, but he’s being too stubborn and pushing her too much.”
Lucia blinked at him in surprise before asking, “How much do you know about a girl, Alex?”
At her question, he looked up at her blankly with the clear writing of “I don’t know” shown on his face. His teacher laughed at the expression he made before speaking softly to him.
“Alex, listen to what I say, okay? She asked, and he nodded in understanding. “Men are usually strong by nature, more fit than women, and are capable of doing much more than us women. However, we women excel at things that men truly suck at.” As her student looked on with interest, she continued on to say, “We women are very determined, strong willed, can easily bounce back from a failure, and have the mental fortitude to endure a lot of pain, whereas men fall apart when something attacks them emotionally and become weak under pressure.”
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“That is true,” replied Alex, remembering the times when his mother had been the cool headed while his father was rash due to the guidance of his emotions, “but this isn’t about gender equality, miss.”
She clicked her tongue and said casually, “Screw gender equality. We’re not made the same, so how can we expect equality? If we’re really equal, then why do we look so different?” When his student had nothing to say, she smiled softly and and said, “I’m not trying to say men are superior or the other way around. Each and every single being in this world has the potential for something beyond their normal stature,” and she waved her hand into the sky.
“The capability to be faster, stronger, smarter, allrounder, and much, much more!“ She exclaimed, closing her fists with a grin on her face, “and all of that is because we’re different,” and she looked down at her student with a bright smile on her face.
He blinked at her in amazement before asking, “In that case, how come Luna is enduring so much pain despite how much my dad is pushing her?”
Lucia looked at him for a moment in silence with a small smile on her face. Then, as if deciding to reveal something that she hid from him, she lowered herself to kneel in front of him to speak in a soft voice.
“Actually, Alex, I spoke with your father yesterday after you and Luna went to bed,” she revealed, causing his eyes to shot upwards in shock. His teacher nodded knowingly and said, “Yes. I was worried about her too, and I spoke with Sam, and do you what he said? ‘She asked me to push her’.”
“What?!” Alex exclaimed, looking alarmed. “L-Luna asked him?”
Lucia nodded and said, “Yes. I’m certain of it now, and I also finally understood why she is always in pain since the challenge was issued.”
“Why?” Alex asked his teacher imploringly, causing her to look at him in exasperation.
“Alex, you shouldn’t need to ask me about such things,” she said with a smile. As her student looked confused, she went on to say, “She’s not feeling pain because of the overburden or the amount of pushing Sam’s doing. No…! The real reason she’s feeling pain was because she’s worried about you.”
For a moment, Alex could not believe his ears and asked her uncertainty, “About… me?”
Lucia nodded and said, “Yes. After that dramatic speech your dad had a few days back, she seems to have taken it to heart very seriously and wants to become someone that you can depend on when you become a full fledged magician, but! But!”
Lucia repeated the word a second time dramatically while lifting up a finger.
“She’s fearing that she might become stronger than you and might even be able to defeat you. After all, she may as well be able to defeat you, but the thought of causing you shame is tormenting her, the man she loves so much.”
“Huh?!” Alex exclaimed, looking startled by her sudden statement about Luna being in love with him. “L-Luna’s in l-love with m-me?!” He exclaimed apprehensively. “”D-D-Don’t be ridiculous, miss! You’re over analyzing her! She and I are just childhood friends. I did try to be her brother, but somehow we entered into a childhood relationship before I realised.”
“That happens when love forms between two pairs of love birds,” his teacher replied with a smile, causing him to look up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Come now, Alex. Admit your feelings for her because they’re true. You know it, so why hide them?”
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“I…” He began and hesitated, looking down at his hand that he brought up to look at. “I’m afraid… that I don’t deserve to love.”
The reason that he felt that way was due to the feelings of regret he sometimes experienced when he was so cherished by both of his parents and his childhood friend. With no memories of his past, he could not know what had happened to him, but something tragic must have caused him to feel reluctant to completely accept their hospitality. Still, he did not want to ignore their effort to raise him and continued to respond however best that he could to their feelings despite feeling regretful about it.
For a moment, his teacher was surprised before replying sardonically, “In that case, you shouldn’t love your parents. Heck! You shouldn’t even love yourself for that matter!”
He looked up at her again, looking stricken only to find that she was grinning broadly at him. She extended her hand out and rubbed his hair gently before speaking to him in a soft manner.
“In this world, every single being has the right to love another,” she stated in a clear voice that left him with no doubt of her words. “Be it us angels, be it demihumans, or humans or the tiniest creatures in the world. God has granted us all of these assets to use them fairly, and love is one of the greatest gift he has ever given us. So, don’t ever think that you don’t deserve to love because it’s just not true.”
“B-But… What if… What if I was… a criminal?” He asked her fearfully.
Her eyes shot up at that, but she immediately became cool headed and smiled again at him.
“In that case, let me tell you a little tale about an ancient hero, who risked his life to save the world for the sake of his loved one,” she said and begun to retell that ancient story. “It was a time when demons roamed rampant and destruction was taking place when one sole hero rose out of the darkness to bring forth light and warmth into our world, saving it. He was a great hero that everyone looked up to, but they never knew… that he was a murderer.”
“What?!” Alex exclaimed, shocked by the sudden twist in her story.
She nodded bravely and continued on to say, “He grew up as an assassin, with killing others being the profession of his job, and he thrived in it. Every mission he accepted, he would complete it with little to no remorse, however, when he was faced with the prospect of killing a young girl, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He killed everyone in that house, but he couldn’t bring himself to kill that little girl.”
“Why?” Alex asked with interest, and his teacher rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“This is why men are impatient,” she replied, causing him to become surprised and smile a little. She winked at him and continued to say, “Anyway, he couldn’t bring himself to take that little girl’s life, and so he fled and quit his profession as he felt he was a failure. Then he wandered around the world aimlessly for several years before being caught up by the little girl he did not kill, who was not a grown up magician that was strong and capable of fighting back.”
“She was able to identify him easily despite the aged look he had as well as the long beard he sported,” she teacher said and smiled, “and do you know what was the first thing she asked him?”
She waited for her student to respond, and she became pleased when he said hopefully, “Um… Is it why he did not kill her on that day?”
Lucia nodded her head vigirously with excitement and said, “Yes! That’s exactly what she said, and he told her that he had a similar experience of losing his loved ones in a similar fashion and saw himself in that helpless state that he once was at. To that, the girl just laughed, forgave him and let him go.”
“That easily?” Alex asked, looking remarkably amazed. “She did not hold any grudge against him for killing her family?”
His teacher shook her head and said, “Apparently not because he asked her the same question, and she replied that even if she got her revenge against him, it would not bring her family back. She did not want to sink to his level, so she merely forgave him after seeing how badly aged he had become considering who he had been in the past.”
“And that made him fall in love with her?” Alex asked, looking mightily amazed.
“That expression,” his teacher said, giggling with laughter, “it’s priceless!”
“Still, though, it feels a little forced for him to fall for her just like that,” stated Alex, looking puzzled.
Lucia shook her head and raised a finger as she said, “Many things can change when love is involved, Alex. You would never even guess what kind of man you’d become because of love, or take the decisions that you normally would not take because of its influence. It’s because of love that you care and cherish the other person, and it’s also the reason that you’re respectful and courteous to strangers because it makes you care. If you had no love, then you wouldn’t bother mingling in society and become a complete stone cold man that rejects the very fabric of reality that he lives in!”
Her words bore into Alex, who felt that seemed to perfectly described the man he was in the past considering his feelings were far more hurt than they should be.
“But, you’re not that kind of man,” she told him with a finger pointing at him. “You are a nice young kid that’s behaving much better than most kids of your age. Although you are a bit difficult to deal with in some aspects, I believe… I strongly believe,” she said in a stronger voice than before, “that you’re a genuine being capable of accepting and returning love!”
The firmness in her voice and the seriousness in her face made Alex not reject her words. For some reason, he felt lighter, even happier after hearing her firm words that were meant to build confidence in him. He did not know what kind of person he had been in the past, but after going through the experienced in his current life, he finally decided to shell out his past self and welcome the new changes with great happiness.
“So, after he became strong and defeated the demons, did he confess his love to her?” He asked his teacher after a few seconds of silence.
She shook her head and said, “No. He never confessed his love for her.”
“Huh?” Her student asked, looking bewildered. “Why didn’t he do it?”
To that, she smiled and said, “He did not believe he deserved her after what he had done to her in the past, so he remained by her side without her notice and acted as her silent guardian, watching her get married, give birth to children, and have a lovely family together with her life long partner.”
“That’s… so sad,” replied Alex, looking sadly at his teacher. “After all that, he ended up being alone.”
“He ended up being alone?” His teacher repeated with a laugh, causing him to stare at her with a puzzled face. “Far from it, Alex. He ended up with another girl that accepted who he was, and although he felt the same way about her, she was more forceful and finally they came together. That’s when he realised the beauty in love and made a story out of his life to pass on to youngsters to never think you don’t deserve love or will fail at love because it’s all just your imagination.”
There was a few seconds of silence after she finished telling the story, and the teacher and student continued looking into each other with smiles on their faces. Then, Alex raised a question out of curiosity, not about the story, but about his teacher.
“Miss, you speak so much about love as if you’ve had a first hand experience in it,” he said coolly. “Does that mean you’ve loved someone before?” This time, his question took her by surprise, and she blinked with amazement, causing him to clenched his fists in triumph and say, “Yes! I was right!”
She chuckled when she saw his reaction and said, “Yes. I will admit that I once had love for someone, but that’s all in the past.”
Alex looked at the sad smile on her face and asked nervously, “Did… Did something happen?”
She looked at him for a brief moment before looking up at the sky and began speaking to it.
“I loved him very much, and I was ready to spend the rest of my life happily with him, but… but I realised soon that it was not meant to be. You see, he was the son of one of the council members that was being trained by my father alongside me, and that’s how we grew attracted to one another. It eventually developed into love with us having similar interests in teaching, however, our ideologies did not match, and eventually, we had to go our separate ways because we were not compatible for one another.”
“Not compatible?” Alex asked, looking startled. “But, miss, you’re such a nice person and all. What made your relationship fail with him? Was he being too rough with you, or pushing you to do some things you didn’t like doing?”
To that, she smiled at her student and said, “You seem to be able to correctly guess those parts of me, Alex.” She briefly laughed before replying, “Yes. He wanted to teach the magic users only of higher class while I wanted to focus on the bringing up the lower class citizens. Our ideologies clashed, with him demanding that I drop my ideas and simply follow his decisions. I didn’t like it, and that was the end of our relationship.”
She turned to look at her student looking sadly at her and said, “It’s okay. It’s been a few years since it happened, and I’m not bothered by it anymore. But, I did learn a valuable lesson in what I experienced with love.” As he looked keenly at her with interest, she took a deep breath and declared, “For love to succeed, there has to be a compatibility.”
“Compatibility,” he repeated quietly and then slowly nodded in understanding. “I guess you need to adjust to one another and take decisions based on discussions that you have together. Isn’t that right, miss?”
Lucia nodded and replied, “That’s correct, Alex. Love is beautiful and can bring a couple together, but if they lack the compatibility, then they won’t stay for long. That’s why your dad comes home stressed because of number of complaints with unstable family relationships since it’s part of his job description. So, don’t go hating your father that he’s being too hard on you. Maybe he’s right, and I’m just too stubborn to admit that I might be wrong.”
She spoke those last words with diminishing energy, and looked sadly down at the ground. Alex was surprised to see his teacher looking so sad, so he extended his hand forward and placed it on her head. Lucia was so surprised by his action that she lifted her head and looked at his smiling face with surprise on her face.
“Thank you for the advice, miss,” he said with a smiling face. “Don’t worry. I won’t hate my father for that because, for all I know, he could be right, and we’re the ones in the wrong, but I’m not willing to give up when you have so much confidence in me!” With that, he looked at her with determination on his face and said, “Please teach me well today!”
His teacher looked at him with amazement on her face and said, “Of course! Don’t expect me to not try and push you,” and they both smiled before resuming his magic lesson with renewed energy.
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