《Re:Spider》Do The Hustle
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´w-what the hell Geroge???´ as i stared at George, confused as all hell, he hastely scrached his neck. "oh... um, ok, just... waddle or something?" i held out my hands aand waved them a little, basicly gesturing ´what the fuck George???´. he looked of, letting his gaze wander the rainforest around us. he then shook his head, and put his eyes back on me. i knew that there was only one way to survive this.
i took a step to the right, and one to the left. i spread them, swaying a little on them. i then took a few steps back, and a few steps forward. i went right, and spun around once. i then tapped my hands together. i once again turned around, and spun back to where i started.
i slightly leaned to the right, and bent my two right legs. surprisingly, it actually worked. i swayed slightly, but i did not give up. and to Georges wonderous gaze, i did The Hustle. as i could not touch my waist with my hand, i just touched the closest thing. with the other arm, i pointed his in the sky. i redid this motion a few times before moving on.
i let go of my waist, and took down my arm. i pointed them at eachother as well as i could, and rotated them around eachother. a leaned to the right, i leaned to the left. i then pulled back my arms, and puffed out my body, both to the right and left. soon after, i fell to the ground, panting heavily. ´that enugh, you evil man?´ i lazely turned my head to meet his gaze. his eyes were wide in amazement, and he sat very very still. i lied down, and had he not spoke, i would probobly have fell asleep. "m´ god" his hand rached up to his mouth, covering it.
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he hastely pulled it away to reveal a wide grin and sparkeling eyes. "i cant belive it!" i slowly raised my arm, and waved it a little, as if holding a white flag. when he saw this, he emberessed puts away the rocks, saving a few in his bag. "well... uh, since you are most definately somehow... human... i guess i should apoligize for picking you up, putting you in a jar and telling you to dance..." i held up both of my arms, and i pumped them in the air. "but im still kinda acared of you, you know..." i looked up at him and stood up on swaying legs. ´what, even after i did The Hustle, you still ask for more?!´ "you see, youre a Golden Orb Weaver..." ´yea, what of it?´ i wiggeled my arms a little and inched closer to him.
"they are quite venemous, you know..." he jumped back a little. ´but if im venemous, why didja pick me up???´ "and id rather not get blisters and the such out here..." he looked around the forest again, and i thought of just how small i actually was. i wasent even the size of a leaf. ´but if youd rather not get blisters out in the jungle, why didja pick me up???´ i looked at him wondering if he was mentaly unstable. he seemed to notice my questioning motions, and he scrached his neck while looking down. "ah... well, you see, i have a friend, Ben." ´yea, you told me he was going to be happy when he saw me.´
"well, he really likes spiders. and so, when im out here, y´know, just checking things out, if i see a spider, i grab it for him. in fact, his favorite spider is... uhhh, what was it... ah, Nephilia Clapata i think...." ´w-what does he do to the spiders he finds? i dont even wanna think about what he might do to an Abnormality such as i...´ but unlike what i said, i really did think deeply about what he does to spiders. and since i had no special connection or love for spiders, it didnt really bother me. people have their hobbies, as long as he dosent kill me it fine.
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´so you were planning to give me to your friend Ben?´ i tapped my feet a little, expecting an answer that would not come. suddently, George looked around attentively. as i was deep in thought about this Ben character, Geroge stood up. his eyes flased around, trying to settle on something. and in turn, he moved his head as to pick up the sound of whatever was out there.
i moved towards him, and he took a step away from me, holding a finger over his mouth. i could almost hear the "Shhhhhh" escaping from his slightly parted lips. i looked around as well, and only now did i hear it as well. a slight rusteling noise fluttered around us, seemingly unsure of how to go about attacking George. its movement sounded clumpy, and even its panting could be heard. truly destroys the image of a silent predator.
´w-what is happening... George?´ while i was just standing there, George had already gotten a rifle from his Bag. ´holy shit, why do yo- oh right, were in the jungle... guess something like that is needed...´ but as i was staring at the rifle he was holding, the creature leaped out from the bushes. its large body pounced on top of George and he fell over to the hard ground. the animal was large, atleast a meter longyellow fur, with black blobs. altough i belive the body must at some point been muscular and robust, none of that could be seen right now. its limbs were thin and the skin was sogging. the yellow eyes were murky, and saliva dripped slowly from its open jaws. the tail was the longest part of it, atleast half a meter long. it was qite thick, and it was probobly the healthiest part of the whole animal. overall, it was the prime picture of unhealthyness. only after George had streched his arm for the rifle did i relize what was going on.
´holy shit George is being attacked by a fucking jaguar´
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tales from the multiverse
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