《Murphy's Law》Chapter 21 - No longer just a fantasy
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“And he’ll help me how?” I ask Julan’s back as I hurry behind him.
“She,” he turns a corner and Bracks’s rigid frame is left behind us, “will help ‘cos she’s the Scrounger.”
I follow along with Simca hopping next to me, “And her guards won’t make me wait outside her door so that they can bully me?”
“Ha! A mind mage as strong as her needs no guards. But remember,” he stops suddenly and I nearly collide with him, “she can’t read minds.”
Inhaling deeply he straightens his back, adjusts his belt and armor, and continues forward a changed man.
-Was that meant for us or for him?- I ask Jane.
-I don’t know but we’ll find out if he’s right once we see her expressions,- Jane rolls into my mental space on top of an impressive office chair, -I’ve been sharing your mind for years and your random thoughts and fantasies still manage to horrify me sometimes…-
-Ohh, that’s so nice of you,- I feel my cheeks warm up as a slight blush appears on them, -You know… in this world, they might not stay fantasies for much longer.-
-I know,- a grin grows on Jane’s face, -I’m both excited and horrified at the possibilities.-
If anyone else would have seen the red devil right now they might say she looked evil, but when I looked at her I couldn’t help but think she looked childish. Beautiful but childish.
-Once I get the chance, the chain one comes first,- I smile back at Jane inside my mind and blow on my thumb in real life, -I always wanted to know if it was physiologically possible.-
Simca looks at me strangely as I do that so I take a note from Julan and try to make myself as presentable as possible.
-You’ll need to pick up an electric spell at some point then,- Jane hums to herself as she rolls around on her chair inside my mind.
“You didn’t explain what's so special about level 35,” I throw it out into the air so that I have something to distract me from a fantasy that even my new thumb blowing skill can’t take care off quickly enough.
“If someone’s higher than that, then ya know for sure that his class ranked up,” he answers in a somewhat nervous tone of voice.
“Meaning?” I sigh, -It’s like getting an explanation from a doctor… I think I know what they’re talking about since I know the words but I have no idea what it really implies.-
-Now you know how your patients feel,- Jane smirks.
-Not fair. I always tried my best to explain it as simply as possible.-
-You did, but that’s only because you treat your patients as if they all have no more than a 4th-grade education.-
-That’s the best rule of thumb to go by if you want to make money as a doctor. Respect everyone like they’re your equal but always take into account that they’re stupid unless proven otherwise.-
-Doesn’t matter anyways now that we’re here. Grow strong enough and you’ll never need to tolerate idiots again. Just imagine how much less stressful your life will be.-
Jane’s words bring a smile to my face and the hope that one day, I’ll be able to slap anyone who desperately deserves it, without a care in the world, makes me miss the first part of Julan’s explanation.
“... it’s common enough that it does happen, which is why we count it like that. So someone with a class change will be counted as over level 35 even if he’s still only 31. I know it sounds weird but that’s how it is…” he shrugs, “You don’t have this problem with the second rank up. Too few of them for it to happen and most are known by name anyhow. Now shut up and don’t speak unless spoken too.”
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We walk into a large hall, ignoring the many workers that are busy handling various letters, packages, boxes, and crates. Dozens of doors are placed on each wall and people are running in and out of the hall through them.
As we make our way through the hall I notice a few cages. Most not bigger than a large dog but a few looked big enough for me to fit in.
A large bird with long, bluish tail feathers and a skull of some animal covering its head is perched under one of the magic lights that are floating in the air. As I follow Julan I can feel its stare on my skin but when I turn to look it seemed to be looking at something else.
-Jane, speed things up.-
As the sights and sounds slowed down I faked looking at Julan’s back until I thought I felt a tingle in the back of my neck. Carefully I pretended that something grabbed my attention on the floor next to me and after looking at it I raised my eyes in preparation and snapped my head to look at the bird. I managed to get a glimpse of it just as it rotated its head to look away from me.
-Gotch’a! Thanks, Jane.-
The moment I thought that the bird jumped into the air, flew over us and just as I thought it was going to hit a wall it passed through it as if the stone was made of water.
-That’s one creepy bird…- Jane said before I could.
-What’s more creepy is that Julan is heading to the door it disappeared over.-
Avoiding a gang of children that ran past us, carrying letters and small packages, Julan knocks loudly on a door that looks no different than any of the many others in the room. Yet the moment his fist connects with the door for the first time, all activity in the room seizes. The workers go silent, the children freeze, even some of the animals suddenly quiet down, and everyone is looking at us.
“Come in. All four of you, no need to wait outside,” Julan opens the door, “plenty of room inside for everyone… eh? Mar-Mar said there were four of you,” she extends a small, chubby hand, covered in too many rings to count and enough bracelets, that they jingle as she rubs under the beak of the creepy bird next to her, “and Mar-Mar is never wrong. No, she is not,” she pats the bird on the head, or more precisely on the skull that is covering its head, “What do you say Mar-Mar? How many people do you see? Be a good girl and check again for mama, will ya?” she says with a nauseatingly sweet voice,”Who’s a good girl?” she looks at the bird and uses both hands to ruffle its feathers, “You’re a good girl. Now count!” she commands and both of them look at us at the same time.
Like a deer frozen in front of the headlights of a rushing truck, my whole body screams for me to run away. While the bird's white beady eyes are creepy, the short plump woman next to it, with her colorful attire, abundance of makeup and a playful smile strike fear in my heart and make my skin crawl. Julan isn’t spared their gaze but he fares slightly better. So although his knees are shaking I hear him gulp and see him slowly lower his hand to his sword. Simca simply lowers her head, staring at the floor but otherwise fine.
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“Now, now, sweetie,” movement returns to my body as she begins to speak, “We are all friends here are we not? Julany, you know I despise violence. I’m offended you thought I’d ever try to harm you.”
Exhaling audibly, he puts a fist to his chest and bows, “My apologies, Madam. A habit from mah days as an adventurer, I meant no offense.”
“All forgiven, dear, and how many times do I need to ask you to drop the Madam, it makes me feel old,” she pouts her chubby face and pulls something out of her pocket, which she offers the bird to eat, “Good girl. How is the one I sent you holding up, by the way?”
“Thank you again for taking care of us, Madam, but I’m afraid Throm lost a training spar a few days ago and the usual happened.”
“Dear me, poor girl. But boys will be boys,” she blinks her eyes but they stay closed a moment longer than they should, “I sent some healing potions to your room and I’ll see what I can do about finding another nice girl to take care of my boys.”
-Healing potion sex?!- my heart starts racing at the possibilities.
“Guarding our precious little princess is very tiring, no doubt, and I’ll make sure to help you all get the rest you deserve,” she beams a motherly smile at Julan before continuing, “Speaking of which, how is our little flower doing these days?”
Julan gulps again and throws a quick glance in my direction.
“Oh, don’t worry about him sweetie, I’m sure that a few healing potions of his own will keep his mouth shut. Maybe if he’s as sweet as you, I might even give him a few of the high-grade ones,” she winks at me, “The ones that can heal anything short of death in a matter of seconds,” she adds with a smile to Julan while ignoring me.
-And he said she can’t read minds,- I think and assume my best poker face.
“She rarely leaves her chambers except for official business, is visited daily by the royal mage and at least one of the other consultants and another tutor has been replaced.”
“And what about our newest friend?”
“Still got a broom up his arse keeping him straight.”
“Good boy he is. You should take an example from him, sweetie, I doubt he’d have used such language in the presence of a lady.”
“My apologies, Madam. I’m sure he wouldn’t.”
“No worries, dear. Adventuring is not a kind profession, and luckily I’m in a good mood. It’s been a long time since I’ve been properly surprised, right Mar-Mar?” she takes out another treat and throws it in the air. The bird's beak moves as fast as lighting and the treat disappears after barely leaving her fingers. For a second it looks like some of her fingers would disappear with it, but they remain unharmed and she doesn’t even flinch at the close call.
“Mind introducing me to the friends you brought with you?” she asks Julan while looking me directly in the eyes, with the bird joining her with a tilt of its head.
Nervously shifting from one foot to the other he eventually points at me, “This is Marcus. He’s one of the summoned heroes ya see, and he says he has something from his world that piqued my blacksmithing interest. I thought you’d be interested in meeting him as well.”
She answers Julan while keeping her gaze on me, “And very right you were, dear. He already proved to be quite interesting,” her smile grows in response to my newly assumed poker face, “but please, do share what you need little old me to do in return?”
She acts caring and her tone of voice is warm, but a chill runs down my spine as I struggle to maintain a calm facade.
Julan rolls his shoulders back and with more confidence he says, “The young hare,” he waves his hand at Simca who is cowering behind me, “He has taken an interest in her, ya see, and when I heard that, there was no doubt in mah mind of who could best help him,” he bows his head slightly.
“Right you are, dear. Nothing I love more than helping others. I should get a good look at his interest than, shouldn’t I?” there was a certain innocence to her tone of voice but Simca jumped forward regardless, “Need to check if I can help our new friends, right Mar-Mar?
-And how much it would cost me,- I added to myself at the greedy look in her eyes.
“Now what do we have here?”
“Skraaa.”
“Really? That young?” she put a finger in her mouth and after making a show of sucking on it she removed it with a wet pop. A moment later and the finger seemed to slip down and cause Simca to jump, “No need to be afraid, sweetie. I couldn't hurt a fly if I tried, right Mar-Mar? No I could not,” she lifts the finger back up and gives it a quick lick, “Not something I could say about you though, can I Mar-Mar?”
“Saaka.”
“No, I sure can’t.” She motions Simca to turn around in place a few times and proceeds to squeeze her cheeks. The scene looks like an aunt who hasn't seen her niece for ages, I would call it adorable if I didn’t know better.
“Ok, shoo with you,” she waves Simca away and begins to flip through a small notebook she produced out of thin air, “Yes, just as suspected. What do you say Mar-Mar?”
The bird next to her produced a series of soft barely audible chirps before plucking out one of its feathers and handing it over.
“Oh my! Aren’t you lucky?” she finally addresses me, yet her smile makes me feel anything but lucky, -If anything it feels like my luck just abandoned me.-
-Again, you mean,- Jane reminds me with a chuckle.
-Oh… right, you know, I’m not sure how that thing works exactly. I didn’t really feel unluckier than usual lately,- I scratch my mental beard.
-That’s just because you never really trust anyone and think the worse could happen at any moment.-
-Expect the worse and you’ll live your life pleasantly surprised at the good things that happen instead of constantly disappointed at the bad,- my mental image shrugs as I repeat what she already knows I think on the matter.
-And as valid as it may be, if not for the system breaking skill you received we wouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. Dying even once, let alone four in the span of a day, is what people usually consider unlucky…-
“If I could have your attention, dear, I’d like to help you with what you came here for. So be a good boy and come closer,” her smile grows larger as my poker face threatens to show surprise at her noticing my conversation with Jane, “Come now, I won’t bite.”
Walking through the cluttered room I approach the bird and the sitting women next to it. From this distance, I can smell a sickeningly sweet perfume, the strength of which threatens to bring tears to my eyes.
“You’re a tall one aren’t you. And hopa,” she stands up on her chair and the top of her curly hair barely reaches my chin. Lifting a hand up slowly I start wishing she won’t be examining my hole, but instead of lowering it back down she proceeds to flick my forehead, “Done. ‘Slave menu’ is how you designate her orders. Well now, yosh,” she jumps down and as she does the bird lifts off and after one last cry, it phases through the wall.
-Slave menu,- I think.
Nothing happens.
-Slave menu!-
Nothing.
“Slave menu,” I say out loud and still nothing happens.
“No no no, sweetie. Not you,” she flops back down into her chair, “the other you,” she says and starts to giggle.
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