《OP without wanting to be》38. Psychologist aka. Mr Romantico aka. Res
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He pushed himself onto the roof of the restaurant and lifted several shingles. With great care, he placed the contract in the gap and jumped down again. He set the basket down in front of the pond and jumped headfirst into it. The fish didn’t enjoy his company, but Res couldn’t stink of sewage on his first date.
Jason bugged him again about a verse, and this time its beauty surprised Res. When he told him that the poem wasn’t half bad, Jason was ecstatic. With renewed vigor, Jason continued brooding about another rime with ‘rose’. He didn’t bother trying to dry himself and grabbed the basket and jumped over the back wall. Res once again pulled off the manhole cover and whispered into the dim tunnel: “Are you there?”
“Yes, sir, elite guard.”
“I have an important mission for you and lives are depending on it.”
“I am yours, sir elite guard.”
“Call me Sensei. Also, put the idea out of your head that you will get to be a disciple of mine. I can’t make you stronger and being around me is dangerous. That is your task: find out whether a boy called Brent, leader of the ‘young revolution’ is still alive. If you find him, tell him to come here until the eighteenth bell tomorrow. If he asks you for proof, tell him that the last time we met, I had to dissuade him from rescuing his girlfriend.”
“Yes, Sir. I will do that.”
“Also, buy yourself something to eat, you need to put on some muscle if you want to get strong.”
Without waiting for an answer, he pushed himself up to the roof of a nearby building. The weight of the basket made him careen back down, but Jason saved him from the disgraceful fall. Aided by the dusk, he kept his flight path close to the roofs and stopped before crossing lively areas.
All his caution was for naught as he arrived at Xenia’s mansion without further incidents. To his surprise, he could make out only half of the usual guards were on patrol compared to when he first visited.
“Bro, they have only tried to make your visit as easy as possible. Go on, man.”
Yet, Res’s suspicion only increased as circled around the property. During his scouting, the light of a streetlamp reflected off something in a large bush. The glint piqued his interest and Res dropped down to street level. Mixed in with the crowd, he walked by the bush. Even from the street, Res could hear the muttering of distinct female voices.
A grin stretched across his face: Seemed like they hadn’t learned that whispering could be louder than speaking sometimes. He once again went into a side alley, picked up several stones, and pushed himself onto the nearby roof. With a short approximation of the distance, he threw and hit the bush in the middle. A surprised squeal could be heard from the bush and the concerned muttering of a guard.
“Bro, that was a straight-up Kobe. You have some talent in baseball.”
Res’s next throw didn’t land right in the middle but still hit metal, which made a small clang. With a shit-eating grin on his face, he dropped to the ground and scooped up as many stones as he could get his hands on. Back on the roof, he fired off a barrage of small stones into the bush. Cursing, two guards, Serafina and Xenia, appeared out of a small hole in the bush and scanned the street.
Res whistled and raised his hands. When they saw him, Xenia’s and Serafina’s eyes widened in outrage and they cursed at him. He pushed himself over the fence and realized mid-flight that he couldn’t do his usual hardening of the skin. Jason sighed and made him float down. The guards looked at him with suspicion and not hostility so Res supposed that it wasn’t a trap.
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What he didn’t expect was the violent slap from Xenia. In such an exasperated tone that it hurt Res’s ears, she said: “I had to wait in this bush for over five hours.”
Something didn’t add up here. “You didn’t need to.”
“Well, I can’t let a stranger break into my room … twice.”
“What would have happened if I had gone into the room?”
Serafina looked downtrodden: “We set several traps that would coat you in tar and feathers. It took years to build that and now we will have to destroy all our work.”
When she realized that it sounded petty, she added. “We have even prepared a special bath to get rid of the tar.”
Feeling that it was perfect timing for a smooth transition, Res swooped in. “Don’t fear, I, your savior, have come to sweeten your day. My initial plan has gone up in shambles because of the alchemist tournament. But I have something even better planned.”
Serafina’s eyes radiated curiosity as she asked. “What was your placement? We made a bet.”
“I was disqualified.”
Everyone stared at him with such shock, even the guards, that their eyes were close to popping out. Res felt uncomfortable under their intense scrutiny: “Ahhh, this is awkward. Can we go?”
Xenia grabbed his hand and looked him straight in the eyes to spot any deceit. “You are actually the madman everyone is talking about with those crazy potency nuts? The army has blocked any information leaking out about your participation. Everyone who watched had to sign a royal contract of silence about the tournament for a week! The only tidbit of information we could find was that a competitor invented a potency nut.”
Res scratched at some stubble that was coming in. “Ahhhh, yeah that was me.”
One guard stepped forward. “Pardon my intrusion, but is it true that the prince has been under the effects of the nuts for over six hours?”
“Yes, if our customer wishes it to be so, we can even extend the times to weeks, though I doubt that it would be very practical. Let’s talk this over a nice meal, shall we?”
Jason had urged him on to finally come closer to Serafina’s blade and now he was telling him to stop. “Jason, you act like it is your first date, pull your stuff together. You can do this.”
“Right bro, I can do this.” Loud inhaling and exhaling could be heard in his mind.
Xenia stepped forward and waved around with her lollipop. “Which address should I give my carriage rider?”
“Actually, I would like for you to call for a normal carriage.”
Serafina looked outraged at the motion, while Xenia looked intrigued. Xenia poked his chest. “Good start. By the way, have you lost muscle?”
Five minutes later, they were sitting in a normal carriage and headed to the palace grounds. Luckily, the princess and Serafina had dressed in inconspicuous clothing. Their plain dresses only stressed the work they had put into their makeup. Serafina had undergone the most drastic change and Res caught himself staring at her cute lips. Yet, she hadn’t lost the fierceness and attentiveness that he admired.
When he complimented them, Xenia shot Serafina a triumphant look and Serafina blushed. When the elite guards at the gates saw the princess in the carriage, they waved them through to Res’s great relief. Before they were halfway to the palace, Res told the carriage driver to stop, and they stepped out of the coach.
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On alert, Serafina eyed the surrounding servant houses. “What are we supposed to do here?”
Res motioned for them to follow and went into one apartment. It was high noon for the servants, so everyone was busy in the actual palace. Over his shoulder, Res called out. “How do you think the servants stay unseen? They have tunnels everywhere.”
With that, he turned to a door that opened up into a tunnel. Serafina looked even more uncomfortable while Xenia only smacked her lips in amusement. “As one of the fiercest enemies of the royal family, you would go into the lion’s den?”
After several minutes of quiet walking, they emerged behind the enormous palace. The palace stood over ten stories tall and was topped off by an even higher clock tower. Res held up his arms in the position of a princess carry. “I need you two to hop on.”
Serafina rumpled her delicate nose at him. “You are a pervert after all. You only want to touch us.”
Xenia approached him and picked at his hardened flesh. She realized that his arms were as unbendable as steel and looked at him in wonder: “How do you do that? I understand that you have a ring of feather falling that allows you to glide, but I have never heard of a ring of steel.”
Res grinned at her and gave her a wink. “Find out.”
With a sigh, Xenia made herself comfortable in Res’s hand and motioned to Serafina. “This is an order. Come here.”
With great difficulty, he balanced the extra weight. After a quick check of his surroundings, he flung himself upwards, to the great dismay of the two girls. Both of them were clutching at him while screaming their lungs out. Res grinned at Xenia’s frightened face. “That wasn’t a bad one.”
They were now twenty meters in the air and on top of the palace’s roof. Yet, that wasn’t his final goal. He pushed himself towards the palace’s bell tower and released an even greater burst of aether. The screaming was even greater this time and the wind-blasted against Res’s face like a long enemy. Like an arrow, they streaked along the walls of the tower, higher and higher.
When they had reached the top, Res stretched out one of his feet. In an instant, he hardened them again and pulled himself and the screaming two girls into the top of the tower. When he touched solid ground again, Serafina rolled off his arms and onto the ground. She continued to pant like she had run hundreds of miles. Xenia staggered around and slapped him. This time, he was prepared for it and staggered back in mock-pain. When he bumped into the wall, he realized that he had overdone it a little with the reaction to the slap.
He looked up at the confused Xenia with his best puppy eyes. “This is getting somewhat of a habit.”
Xenia’s surprised expression hardened when she saw that Res was completely fine. “You could have warned us. I thought you would do some stupid romantic boy stuff … And I lost my lollipop.”
Res grinned his best charming smile. “If I had told you, you wouldn’t have hopped on … And I didn’t say there wouldn’t be romantic boy stuff.”
Xenia pouted and took a seat at the enormous bench on top of the tower. When Res took a seat next to her, he got another halfhearted slap from Serafina and she asked. “Is this why you brought us up here?”
“Yes, I only managed to sneak up here four times. Despite that, each occasion is vivid in my memories. Look at Trianon in all its ugly glory.”
Res watched as Serafina took in the entire view of the city. Its chaotic mishmash of architecture, statues, and people was a sight to behold. Serafina noticed his stare and both their eyes met. Res finally witnesses Serafina for the first time without her guard up and what he saw was beautiful. An innocent, yet headstrong girl trying to fend for herself in a world that is against her. He tried to reflect the genuine admiration he felt for that in his eyes.
The princess cleared her throat, and Res realized that he had been staring at Serafina. He tried to act as if that hadn’t happened, but only made more of a fool of himself. The only reassuring thing was that Serafina had joined him in his blushing and stuttering around. Confused, he focused his attention inwards. “Jason? Are you doing anything to my body?”
From somewhere far away, he realized that Jason was reciting his love poem. His interruption had thrown Jason off the track. He sent ‘Sorry’ and ‘Good luck’ through their connection and ruled out unnatural causes. He tried to laugh off the uncomfortable silence and fussed around with his basket.
“I have brought something special with me today. Have you already eaten?”He received nods from the two girls. “This basket is from one of the best cooks in Trianon.”
Xenia asked surprised: “You know the chefs? I could never meet them. I only talk with the manager.”
“I bought his restaurant and it will open in a style that has never seen before tomorrow.”
Xenia seemed interested. “We will come to the reopening then, right Serafina?”
Serafina only gave a vague nod, her head still beet red. When Res gave her a glass of wine, she didn’t even look at him and Res wondered whether he had overstepped. He felt for the connection with Jason and sighed when he could only feel him far away in the sword. Jason always knew what to do in such situations. Arthur had delivered on the candlelight dinner. A bottle of fine red wine, fresh bread with melted cheese, and fresh fruit in a neat package. He even packed some candles, which Res ignited with a flintstone that was in the basket. Orson’s brother was capable indeed.
Res turned to Xenia. “You told me you hate boring candlelight dinners while Serafina likes them. So, I thought we should do a compromise. What do you think?”
Xenia had calmed down from the adrenaline rush and was now hugging his arm. “This is awesome. I will tell my brothers; they will be envious.”
Serafina mumbled something that sounded like an objection and he tried to get her back into the conversation.
“What did you say Serafina?”
Her blushing got even worse, and she was now completely facing away from him. Xenia hugged his arm tighter and waved it away. “She is always like that. You need to give her some time to adjust.”
After eating a piece of bread topped with cheese, he asked: “You said that you have brothers. How are they?”
Xenia’s throaty laugh mortified Res. “They are all sooo different. I am the youngest, so they are kind of protective over me. My youngest brother, Akeem, is always going around whoring and in bar fights but is nice. The one in the middle, Rhun, is a big clown. He likes to play pranks on everyone but is loved by the people for his good looks. My eldest brother, Lune, is the most responsible of them all. The only problem is that he is too responsible, always stony-faced.”
Xenia munched away at a carrot while talking. Res was drawn into her story about daily life in the court of Osma and her family. Hearing about another culture was refreshing, and Xenia blossomed under Res’s interest. After a short while, they were joking about trivial things like what they liked to do in their spare time and gossip. Even Serafina warmed up again. The wine especially seemed to work wonders. Amid this free discourse, Res asked: “So, why are you in Trianon then?”
When the stupid words had left his mouth, he immediately wanted to pluck them out of the air. Serafina had fallen still and Xenia was hunched over, holding her head in her hands. He tried to apologize, do anything to get back to how things were, but nothing helped. Finally, he dropped back into his seat and sighed. Xenia grabbed his left arm and clung to it as if her life depended on it. She buried her face into his shoulder and Res could feel the wetness at his shoulder from her tears.
Res only sat there stock-still, not daring to move an inch, as not to disturb her. The last time he had cried out of grief was over ten years ago and back then his hunting dog had died. An old female servant had sat next to him while stroking his hair and he had felt safe and had stopped crying. Cursing the fact that Jason wasn’t there to give him advice, he ran over her flowing blonde hair. Res wondered if it had always smelled like fresh apple and winter pine. Xenia’s sobbing voice interrupted his musings.
“I was going about my business as usual in the palace. My servants informed me that there will be an audience with the head of the royal family of Trianon today. It was nothing unusual, so I didn’t think much of it. I got dressed, as usual, arrived with Serafina at practice as usual, and learned as usual. When the royal family arrived, they had brought the prince with him. The beginning of the meeting was as usual and the leader of the family, the king’s brother, was kind. I had paid no heed to the prince or his entourage of mistresses. When we were eating dinner, the king’s brother asked whether I was still available for marriage. My father responded that I will marry the southerner prince, Giovanni. I had met Giovanni several times, and he is only five years old but very kind. Apart from that, the southerner culture respects woman. My father was as gracious as to ask me before promising me and I had agreed to the marriage. Yet, the prince whispered with the king’s brother, who continued to ask rude questions. One of my brothers remarked that this behavior wasn’t fit for a noble. From that point on, the prince’s brother comments went beyond insulting. He asked whether I was still a virgin. He even concocted rumors that I had lost my virginity with a beggar. Everyone realized they were trying to anger us, but my entire family was still in an uproar. My father said that we would pay them back by costing them millions of platinum coins. He had a manuscript of the entire conversation which he wanted to use to create a trade alliance. I went to bed, thinking everything would be all right. When I woke up, the entire house was in an uproar once again. My youngest brother had slunk away in the night to restore my honor. After he got caught, he was subdued by the prince’s guards, but put up a good fight that injured some guards.”
At that, Xenia sobbed again and buried her face even deeper in his now wet linen shirt. Res had no doubt that they must have been elite palace guards and made a note ‘Don’t fuck with Xenia’s brothers’ in his mind.
“After that, the king revisited, and this time demanded my hand. It would be a dishonor to my family to give the prince my hand after he dishonored me. My father negotiated for my brother to be exiled in the military for five years. I would be exiled for thirty years in Trianon. THIRTY YEARS!”
She pounded his chest with her cute fists in anger and Res let her. After she had let out her frustration, she settled down again on Res’s shoulder. “In thirty years, I will be an old hag and no prince or king will want me. No one. They will imprison me in this shithole of a city for thirty years. My prime will race by and all my friends back home will marry, but I will be left like scraps to be salvaged. My tits will sag, my skin will be wrinkled and I will have to walk with a walking stick. No one would want me.”
Res knew it was his turn to say something encouraging, to give hope, to … Res scrapped all the calculations and consequences and spoke his mind. “That sounds bad. It might be bad or it might not. The only thing I can tell you is, I know this sounds cliché, but your outer appearance shouldn’t define you.”
The deathly silence in the room made Res suspect that he had said something foolish. He needed an enchantment with which he could sink into the ground. He nearly missed the slight whisper from Xenia: “Res, you are the first one I have met in this city who is sincere and nice. Thank you.”
Then, they stared out of the window and at the beautiful full moon above Trianon. It was sobering knowing how small you were, and Res reveled in the sensation. Serafina broke the silence. She turned towards Res and looked at the ground. “I don’t hate you.”
Res grinned and met her searching gaze. “I don’t hate you too. In fact, I like both of you.”
Now that it was out, Res had to actually admit that it was true. He had thought the residue of Jason’s manipulation drove him to like the two girls, but now he knew that he did. Serafina reddened a little and pouted, but Res could still see the small smile on her lips. He remembered that Jason had told him to talk about topics the other person enjoyed.
Since Xenia seemed content to rest on his shoulder, he asked. “So Serafina, do you have any secret tricks or training techniques that I could use?”
He had to hold back his grimace at the word ‘training.’ Serafina began in the same amicable tone. “I don’t how you would train as a martial artist, but pushups with stones on your back or … fighting predators in the arena strengthens … hardening body with boiling water …” Serafina trailed off and put her hands in her lap.
Res cleared his throat and tried to lighten the mood again. “Hard training, I see. Then I will need your protection from now on.” She flinched at that and Res mentally hit himself for doing whatever he had done wrong. Serafina hunched over her shoulders and rested her chin on her sword. Her voice sounded so dull that Res flinched from the complete lack of emotion.
“Funny that you would say that. Protecting … Protecting … My brother said those words to me.” She realized that she was giving away something precious to a stranger and laughed. “Sorry about that, I didn’t know what I was thinking. Maybe …”
Res knew that speaking now could only be misunderstood, so he watched Serafina as she toyed around with a ribbon on her dress. When she finally turned to look at him, he tried to project out nothing but acceptance and whispered.
“It’s ok”
It was like a damn broke all her tension left her body and she collapsed in on herself even further. By now, Res felt like a psychiatrist. He had to suppress a grin when he thought of a sarcastic comment that Jason would interject right about now.
Xenia stirred in his lap, grabbed Serafina’s hand, and pulled her towards Res. “Here, try this out. It feels good.”
Serafina didn’t protest and rested her head on his other shoulder without clinging to him like Xenia. After a while of watching the moon and Trianon’s flickering lights, Serafina sighed. “This is good.”
A mischievous glint appeared in Xenia’s eyes. “Sharing is caring.”
It felt like he had stepped into a bear trap without realizing it. A bear trap full of trouble. When he saw the contented two girls, he relaxed while hearing the word ‘trouble’ for the first time in his life. Those two were worth it. When an hour had passed and both Xenia and Serafina made no move to speak or move, Res murmured. “Are you asleep?”
He only received a vague grumbling from both girls. “You know that we can’t sleep here.”
Xenia grumbled again, this time in a clear discontented tone. Res shut up and added. “Yeah, why not? Let’s sleep together.”
Res chastised himself for making a fuss about relaxing and tried to reenter his trance. Serafina coughed and blushed in various shades of red. Xenia snuggled closer to Res and put her arms possessively around him. Serafina tugged at Xenia and said. “Princess, we have been taking enough of Res’s time.”
If the problem were that simple, Res reasoned that he could resolve the situation. “I don’t mind sleeping with you both.”
Serafina’s expression turned stony at that and Xenia wet her lips for some reason. Now more determined, Serafina pulled the princess off him and stated in a stiff tone. “Res, we will leave now.”
The change in attitude was jarring, but Res played it off as one of her quirks. He extended his arms. “Announcement to all passengers: please hop onto Res’s arms.”
This time, Xenia climbed onto his hardened arms with something akin to eagerness. She tried to pinch his body but failed and looked up at him with her clear blue eyes. “If you can harden all your body parts, this will become very handy.”
Res tried to hide his confusion and hoped that she wouldn’t try to hire him as a bodyguard. “Of course, I can harden each inch of my body.”
As if to interrupt the princess’s attempt at recruiting him as a bodyguard, Serafina jumped into his arms and added in an icy tone: “Let’s go.”
He raised his brows and asked: ”Would it be okay if we have a short visit to a friend of mine?”
Both the girls exchanged looks. “Why not? Who would that be?”
Res pushed himself a meter off the ground. “You will like him.”
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