It’s like Marcia wants Sarah to have completely unbridled anxiety today, she thinks.

Logically, she knows it wouldn’t have mattered. Marcia could’ve packed her black high-necked one-piece instead and Sarah would still have been nervous to wear a bathing suit in front of Lucas, even now. But because she hadn’t, because she’d instead chosen to saddle Sarah with wearing a striped turquoise-and-white bikini (she’d bought it on clearance downtown after peer pressure from Marcia and Jack a year ago, and worn it exactly once after that), Sarah gets to be extra anxious.

It’s going to be fine, probably. That’s what her rational brain is telling her. Running has toned her body a bit and she’s lost a little weight since buying the suit to begin with, so it fits pretty great. The colour isn’t awful and doesn’t make her pale skin look alien like so many things can. Plus, it’s got a pretty full-coverage bottom and a decently supportive top with an actual underwire. Really, she has underwear that are a lot worse than this.

The beach they end up going to is a short drive away and is next to a hike that they might do later - not Lucas, since his ankle isn’t completely healed yet - so Lemuel’s car is packed with changes of clothes and towels, plus six people. Marcia, Sarah, Jordan, and Lemuel himself squeeze into the backseat, since nobody can fathom making either Lucas or Hamil do it. When they get to the beach, Marcia, Jordan, and Sarah stake out a good spot and begin setting their stuff up.

The guys dump their towels in a pile next to them, peel their shirts off, and immediately make a break for the water. Sarah’s grateful for the cover that her sunglasses provide; she’s not sure that she could stop herself from looking at Lucas. They live together and he’s sort of a new-age hippie in many respects, so really, she’s seen him shirtless before - but it feels different now that she could, theoretically, go run her hands across his chest, now that all of that muscle may be used for her benefit one day soon.

“Animals,” Jordan scoffs, peeling off the casual dress she’s wearing and laying down on a towel. Marcia follows suit, grabbing a magazine, so Sarah has no choice but to fall in line. She takes her shorts and tank top off and lays down on her beach towel, propping herself up with her hands so she can watch the guys be lunatics in the water.

“How long have you known them, Jordan?” Marcia asks.

“Long time,” Jordan answers. “Like fourth grade, after I moved to France from Dallas.”

“Have they always been crazy?” Sarah jokes.

Jordan nods seriously. “Yes. Lemuel’s a bit more level-headed than Hamil or Lucas - my theory is because he’s also got immigrant parents. Bit stricter. Plus the whole coming-out thing; he’s had more time for self-reflection. But Lucas and Hamil have always been off the wall. Especially Lucas. Some days I still think he was raised by wolves.”

“That’d explain a lot.”

Jordan pulls a book out of her beach bag and opens it to a bookmarked page. Without looking at Sarah, she says, “You know he’s into you, right?”

Sarah blushes and looks down. “Erm -”

“I get that it’s weird that you’re roommates, but if it’s mutual, for what it’s worth I always thought he’d make a great boyfriend. He’s 100 percent not my type,” Jordan emphasizes, glancing up, “but he’s always treated his girlfriends really well.”

“That’s good to know, right Sarah?” Marcia says pointedly, elbowing her.

She glares at her. “Sure.” She looks away, chewing on her bottom lip, and wishes she’d brought headphones so she could ignore Marcia.

“Holy shit,” Marcia gasps, grabbing Sarah’s arm. “Something happened, didn’t it?”

Jordan sets her book down. “Wait, is something actually going on between you two?”

Sarah hesitates. They’d decided not to tell anyone right away before they could actually figure it out themselves, but they’d also agreed not to lie, so she feels stuck. “Erm. I - um -”

“Out with it, Dalton,” Marcia orders.

Sarah sighs and turns to the side, away from the water, so she can speak quietly to Marcia and Jordan. “You can’t say anything,” she starts, making sure to take her sunglasses off and make eye contact, so they know she’s serious. “But I kissed him.”

“What?” Marcia shrieks.

“Shut up!” Sarah hisses, looking over her shoulder. The guys are still in the water, far enough away, but still. She turns back. “Shh.”

Marcia winces. “Sorry. But what?” she half-whispers. “You kissed? When?”

“Yesterday,” Sarah admits. “When we get to get wood. He was being really sweet, and it just kind of ... happened.”

“This is adorable,” Jordan declares, a wide grin on her face. “He’s so into you, Sarah. I’ve known him a long time and I’ve never seen him this far gone.”

She ducks her head again. Her face feels warm. “Yes?”

“Absolutely.”

“Wait, so are you guys together now?” Marcia asks, her hands clasped together conspiratorially.

“I don’t really know,” Sarah answers honestly. “We haven’t had any time to talk about it. We agreed we wouldn’t say anything unless somebody directly asked, so that we can give ourselves some space to figure it out.” She draws her bottom lip into her mouth and worries it between her teeth. “It is kind of complicated. He’s my roommate and that works really well and I don’t want that to be screwed up, but there’s also been kind of a ... thing, I guess you could say, between us for a while now and I can’t ignore it any longer.” She swallows a lump in her throat, feeling her anxiety rise in her chest, and picks at her toenail polish nervously. “Please don’t say anything to anyone.”

“Aw, Sarah,” Marcia says sympathetically. “We won’t.”

“Vow of silence,” Jordan agrees.

Marcia rubs Sarah’s back. “This is really good, Sarah. I know your jar is usually half-empty, but trust me. This is really good.”

Sarah nods, trying to let her words sink in. She believes them. She does.

“Don’t look now, but lover boy is headed this way,” Marcia whispers.

Sarah immediately clears her throat and tries to look normal. She slips her sunglasses back on and stretches her legs out, making a little face to herself at how incredibly pale they look compared to the bright pink of the towel.

Lucas’s shadow reaches her before he does. “Hello ladies,” he says with a big smile, dripping water onto Marcia’s feet. “How are things up here?” He squints at Sarah and pushes his unruly curls back from his forehead.

“Well, we were getting a good tan until a giant blocked our sun,” Jordan informs him. “You get a good wrestling match in with your boyfriends out there?”

“Ha!” Lucas chuckles. He sticks his thumb over his shoulder, toward the lake. “Either one of those bozos would be lucky to have me!”

Sarah laughs. “We’re doing fine up here, Lucas.”

He squats down next to her, all long limbs and tanned skin. “You sure?” he asks, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. “You don’t want to come for a dip?”

“I’m good here,” Sarah replies, turning to look for her book in her beach bag. “We’re just - eek!” she squeals, as she’s suddenly lifted into the air. The world is a blur for a second, and when she’s righted again she finds herself bent over Lucas’s shoulder. “Lucas, you put me down right now!”

“No can do, Sarah,” he says cheerfully as he begins walking toward the water. Sarah looks helplessly at Marcia and Jordan, who are laughing as they get smaller in her field of vision. “I think you need a little swim.”

“Bye, Sarah!” Marcia calls, waving.

“I hate you both!” Sarah hollers back. She swats at Lucas’s back and clings onto his shoulders, not wanting to be put upside down. “Lucas, don’t you dare put me into that water.”

She can hear Lemuel and Hamil laughing now. She manages to glimpse behind her just as Lucas starts wading into the lake. Sarah steels herself to be dropped into the cold water, but he doesn’t set her down yet. Instead, he keeps walking further out, past a cackling Lemuel and Hamil, until her dangling feet are wet.

“Sarah, you can swim, right?” Lucas asks.

“Yes, but don’t you dare-”

He tosses her then, up and out, and she lands with a splash. It’s deep enough here that she can’t touch but Lucas and Hamil probably can. She’s underwater for a second, where it’s all swirling murky coldness, but Sarah is a great swimmer - earned through years at the pool in school - and she surfaces without issue.

Lucas is nearby, standing in chin-deep water, laughing.

“I’m going to get you!” she hollers, and begins to swim toward him.

“Counting on it, babe,” he says when she gets to him. He reaches out for her, but Sarah evades his grasp and swims around to his back. She pushes her feet at his hips, drawing herself upward and out of the water, then sits on his shoulders and dunks his head underwater.

Lucas bucks her off easily, which she’d assumed, but even though she’s tossed in the water again it’s still worth it to see him sputtering and wet like a retriever when his head surfaces again.

“You got me, Sarah,” he crows happily. “We’re even!”

“Mmm.” Sarah considers this. “We’ll see.” She swims nearer to him and paddles herself in a slowly narrowing circle until his guard lowers. Then she kicks backward, splashing a broad spray of water in his face.

“Oh god!” he exclaims, turning to shield himself. “Uncle, uncle!”

Sarah laughs and stops kicking. She’s got a good front crawl and she’s back at his side quickly. “Truce?” she asks, the lake water in front of him.

Lucas sweeps his hair back again. “Truce,” he agrees. “Come here.”

Sarah glances over at Lemuel and Hamil. They’ve somehow found a beach ball - they definitely hadn’t brought one with them, so she’s not sure how that happened - and are setting it back and forth where the water is shallower. She can also see Jordan and Marcia still on the beach, both with reading material - though if she knows her best friend, she’s sure Marcia is actually watching them.

But Marcia knows now, so she figures it’s safe enough. Sarah swims to him and slips her legs around his waist. The water is buoyant enough for her just to loosely hang onto his shoulders, but he still supports her with an arm around her hips.

“Hi,” she says.

“Hey, Sarah.” Lucas’s smile is almost warm enough to soothe the sting of the cool lake water.

Sarah lets one of her hands fall under the surface. She slides her palm onto Lucas’s chest, the way she’d been imagining earlier, and gives him a sly smile. “It’s a good thing I had sunglasses on earlier,” she says softly. “Couldn’t stop staring at you when you took your clothes off. Wish I could kiss you.”

A muscle twitches in Lucas’s jaw. “Speak for yourself, babe,” he whispers. He brings a hand to her waist under the water and drags his knuckles across her stomach. “There’s lots of things I want to do to you in this thing.” His index finger traces the cup of her bikini top. His eyes are watching her face intently.

Her breath catches. “Lucas."

“They aren’t looking, Sarah,” he says, but he doesn’t go in for a kiss. He does palm at her breast carefully, watching her the whole time.

Sarah’s eyelids flutter closed. God. Even here, with the barrier of water and the fabric of her suit between them, his hands are incredible. She wants so much more. But they’re in a lake with their friends. So - “We should stop,” she says, unwinding her legs from him.

Lucas nods and drops his hands obediently. Sarah swings herself around to his back and slips on, hanging her arms around his neck and her chin over his shoulder. “To higher ground!” she instructs.

“You’re um - you’re going to have to give me a sec,” he mutters. His hands tighten around the back of her knees.

Oh. Sarah bites her lower lip and waits patiently. She rests her cheek on his shoulder, not caring at this point, and looks out at the lake. It really is beautiful; she just might get used to this.