《Death Becomes Him: An Age of Steam and Sorcery Novel》Chapter Seventy-Seven

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“It’s ok, mate. I’m sure he’s fine.” Dani patted Peter tentatively on the back.

On arrival home Peter’s mother had sat him down and demanded every detail. Which was frustrating, because she didn’t listen to any of them. Peter could see that she was only listening for keywords to react to while thinking about something else entirely. In the end, he had given a heavily edited account and excused himself to his room pleading exhaustion. He had been lying, but had intended to lie down and close his eyes though.

Peter had logged on to find the whole crew waiting for him. Well, almost the whole crew. Now that the portal had collapsed the silence hammered at their ears. Peter sucked in a shuddering breath and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. “How can you know that? He fell through a portal while gnawing on a demon’s face!”

Pham looked up from the loot pile he was picking through. “Don’t be such a noob. Check your status sheet, if he’s dead there’s a little skull beside his name. Ow!”

“Don’t be so insensitive,” Warren rumbled, picking up another stone in preparation. “Ye cannae see Peter’s hurtin’?”

Pham mumbled an apology and went back to sifting through the glittering prizes, Warren approached the now darkened columns and Dani sat cross-legged beside Peter. “You really like DB, don’t you? He’s a fighter, just like his owner.”

“He’s not though,” Peter forced out the words through his constricted throat. “He’s not a fighter at all. We have to get him back.” He clambered to his feet. “We have to get him back!” Running over to the columns, Peter began running his hands over the rough surface, poking and prodding at where the imps had been feeding energy into them. “How do these things work? I have to go save him.” Peter rested his head against the stone and pounded on the column with his fists. Deep in his chest, his heart ached.

“Dude, take a chill pill. Even if he’s gone, you can always get another animal companion.” Pham offered. “There’s a shop for them in the capital, exotic ones even.”

“Hey, just because your pets are cold and emotionless, doesn’t mean you have to be,” Dani admonished. “Peter, DB’s a rat, they’re survivors. He’s probably found a hole to hide in or something.”

The tightness in Peter’s chest and throat eased at that thought. He always knew how to keep out of the way, he realised. “You know, you’re right,” he admitted, facing everyone for the first time. “Sorry I freaked out, he’s just been there for me for so long, the thought of losing him really threw me.” Taking several deep calming breaths, Peter considered how to proceed. First, he opened his Mark and checked DBs status. No skull, full health, no status effects. Thank goodness. “Okay, he’s fine. So, what do we do? There’s a crazy demon trying to get into Averton and she’s got DB.”

“What we do is claim the loot, find the clue and head back to the inn for a well-deserved meal,” Pham replied, to nobody’s surprise at all. “What? We gots ta get paid, otherwise what’s the point in dungeon diving? And the clue will tell us where the demon is, that’s how quests work.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m hungry. We had Asian for dinner. You know how it is, hungry an hour later.”

“Pham, your family is Vietnamese, you have Asian every night,” Warren teased him. “But you’re right. Peter, there’s nothing more we can do right now. We should collect up everything we can, because for sure our gear is going to need repairs after that fight and the townspeople above could do with the supplies. We’ll find the quest link, because there’s always one, and come back to fight the boss.” He went back to inspecting the area around the columns as Peter tried to protest. “Ah, here it is.” He pulled a lever and part of the wall identical to the rest rotated inwards to reveal a metal lattice the size of a doorway. With a groan, the lattice scissored open letting what little light illuminated the cavern filter into the tiny room beyond. “Boom. Ancient elevator.”

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Dani laid a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Your friends are right. There’s nothing we can do at the moment and the people of Averton are going to need these supplies to begin rebuilding. You said it yourself, DB is fine for now. Let’s help those we can.”

Grumbling and in bad grace Peter shook the comforting hand off, but pitched in to help Warren with the heavy lifting. In quick time, they had packed the tiny elevator with everything the imps had been hoarding while Dani and Pham took over examining the columns and dais. They were just dusting off their hands and stretching their backs when a shout from Dani sent them running over.

“What, what is it?” Peter demanded, not ready for another shock so soon. Dani pointed to a ring of tiny glyphs around the base of the column she had been searching. “Can you read those?”

“No, but I’ve seen them before. Here,” she pointed, “and here. Something my parents worked on when I was little. I never understood why, but it really upset them.”

Pham checked the bottom of his column and sure enough, there was a ring there too. “I could Google it when we log off,” he offered, “but for now - see how this symbol is repeated throughout the string? It’s more complex than the rest of them. I think it’s a name.”

“It is,” Dani put a hand to her neck. “It’s Lust. One of the Seven.”

“Are you kidding me?” Pham’s eyes went wider than saucers. “That’s why this is a Geas, we’re up against one of the Seven? The loot is going to be EPIC!” He began dancing around, then stopped. “But we can’t get it until we find where this demon is hiding. Can you tell us anything more?”

Peter popped his inventory open and extracted a sheet of parchment and a piece of coal. “I’ve got an idea,” he said as he placed the sheet over the glyphs and started rubbing. “You said your parents worked on this. Could you show it to your mother? Please?”

“Sure, I guess?” Dani took the sheet from Peter’s black stained hands. “I mean, they had some pretty big fights over it, whether they should be chasing down the seven, whether they’re kin to the Avatars, crazy stuff. I can ask…”

Warren coughed discreetly. “Since there’s not much more we can do here, let’s get this stuff back to the surface. My folks are letting me rest for now but I will have to show up for dinner.”

Everyone packed into the tiny room and Peter flipped the lever to get the mechanism moving. “Nothing I like more than sharing a confined space with a group of friends on a high protein diet.” Peter quipped, looking meaningfully at Pham.

The following silence was ruptured by a drawn out squeak that ended in a pop. Everyone leaned away from Pham, who actually managed to turn a very light shade of pink. “Screw you guys. That was Rex and you know it.” He kicked the diminutive machine, which managed to look embarrassed despite the lack of a face. “Can we change the subject? Like, what are we going to do with this stuff when we get to the surface? I am nobody’s beast of burden and I don’t have the parts or a workshop to build one.”

On cue the elevator lurched to a stop and the doors opened. Welcome sunlight flooded in, bringing the first fresh air they’d breathed in hours. A hint of smoke wafted with it and something more, something familiar.

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“Show your faces, you leathery bastards. I’ma bury the lotta you!” Jacob’s voice rang out.

“Hang about, mate. It’s just us!” Dani called out. “We’ve got the stuff the imps took.”

Jacob poked his head into the lift and looked around in amazement. “Well, blow me down. So that’s what’s under this crypt. Who’d have thought it?”

Puzzled, the Travellers filed out of the cramped space into what turned out to be the graveyard. Peter examined the ersatz mausoleum they had emerged from, remembering seeing it tucked away in the back corner of the walled off space but never really paying attention to it any time he had visited. Up close, the moss covered marble looked even older than he recalled. Under the dross of ages he could see the stylings of the ancient architecture and their incomprehensible alphabet. What could be mistaken for a sundial above the door to the uninterested eye, was revealed to be a floor indicator by the scratches of the gnomon gouging into the plaque of ages on the face. By the distance the hand had travelled around the circumference, Peter judged that there were at least another four floors below and remarked as such to his companions. Dani and Pham showed some interest, while Warren negotiated with Jacob for the use of the wheeled cart Jacob used to transport the coffins from the graveyard to his workshop.

“I’ll tell you what, there’s some folks around here are going to be mighty happy to get this back. Why, the storekeep just might crack a smile.” Jacob bantered as he and Warren loaded the dray with boxes. “Assuming we manage to move this load out to where they can be of use that is. Ooh me back!” he added pointedly, “if only there were some young, virile, dashing…”

“Fine, no need to lay it on so thick.” Peter left the other two to their investigations and helped shift the stores. With the three of them and the cart it took much less time than loading the elevator had. They deposited the reclaimed items in the square near the fountain, drawing a small but rapidly growing crowd. People wandered into the graveyard, trampling the hallowed ground much to Jacob’s chagrin, and gawked at the newly revealed architecture. Many offered advice on how best to lift the crates and the most efficient method of stacking them, but in true mob mentality, none offered to actually help move them.

The mayor eventually appeared, drawn to the publicity like a photon to a black hole, orbiting around the fringe of the crowd slowly but accelerating as he was drawn to the middle until he was standing atop the highest crate, beaming as though he had recovered them himself. When the final box and sack had been offloaded and Warren and Peter sat breathing heavily, the mayor descended like a god from Olympus, dispensing blessings and praise for a job well done. Peter barely heard the spiel, exhaustion thundered in his ears. He let the words wash over him and flow away as thoughts of DB and worries about school tomorrow weighed on his mind. A nudge from Warren brought him back to the present.

“I’m sorry, what’s up?” He tried to shake the cobwebs away.

“My boy, you’ve done all we asked and more!” The ebullient mayor enthused. “You have cemented your place as a Defender of Averton, and I will be penning a personal letter of recommendation to the Governor.” He stuck out a meaty hand for Peter to shake. “Now, everyone, to the Inn, the first round is on me!”

The stampede nearly crushed a few of those slower on the uptake, but they were rescued by their fellows and dragged to the public house where the cheapest amber fluid Dave could supply began to flow freely. Not that it mattered, when you divide by zero cost, taste approaches infinite. As the dust settled, the mayor lowered himself to the ground with a groan. “Here you go, my boy. I had this drawn up in preparation,” he held out a cream coloured envelope with a red wax seal. After Peter accepted the gif he continued, “So, She’s gone? You have eliminated the threat?”

Peter shook his head wearily. “She got away. We’ve cleaned out her base in the sewers and destroyed the portal device, but she has my friend and we need to get him back.”

“We need to get a move on, is what we need to do,” Warren whispered as he nudged Peter in the back.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the mayor commiserated, showing no hint of having heard Warren. “For your sake as well as ours. That blasted seductress needs to be taken down once and for all. We’re counting on you, Defender.” With a final hearty clap on the shoulder, the mayor departed to join the festivities.

“Um, mate, you wanna pop over here?” Dani shouted.

Peter clapped Warren on the shoulder and nodded in the direction of the others. “Looks like you get your wish. Let’s go see what they’ve foud, eh?” As the two apporached, they found both Dani and Pham completely suspended off the ground, hands wrapped around the shaft of the lever that protruded from the pedestal in the middle of the elevator. They appeared to have knotted themselves into a human/elf/pretzel hybrid in an attempt to force the lever one further click around and ended up looking like the result of a game of Twister with only one dot.

“Uh, little help?” Pham’s voice emerged from somewhere in the mass.

Peter reached in and eased the lever over, destabilising the entwined pair and sending them tumbling to the floor.

“Oi, how did you do that?” Dani demanded as she dusted herself off. “We couldn’t even budge it.”

“Tied to the party leader, I’d say,” Warren offered as the doors closed behind them again. “I guess we’re not getting those repairs after all. Unless ye wanna respawn?” He looked meaningfully around as the elevator began to descend.

“How about we at least see where this is taking us?” Peter suggested. “Maybe we can come back up once it reaches wherever it’s going?” He unlaced his bracer and checked his Mark. “My quest entry has updated, says to find and destroy the Scion of Sin now. I didn’t get a notification until after the elevator started moving, so I guess we’re on the right path.”

The small space fell quiet for a while. Just the rumbling of the gears as they each stood with their thoughts.

“So, what did you lot get up to today?” Dani tried to lighten the mood as they descended.

“Well, we passed our last test for the term and picked a fight with the biggest bully in the yard,” Peter offered. “I’m sure you can imagine which one my parents are going to want to talk about later.”

Warren unslung his oversize shield from his back and leaned it against the wall. “At least your parents are talking to you. Dad just shook his head and closed the door to his study, like he always does. I swear mum’s still crying into her wine in the kitchen.”

“Still? First bottle or second?” Pham asked, looking up from his inventory where he’d been tinkering and rearranging.

Warren sucked air through his teeth. “Third, probably. Speaking of which.” He opened his own inventory and extracted a flask. “Anyone?” Everyone refused the momentarily offered drink and Warren took a long pull. “Oh, yeah. That’s the good stuff.’

“Well,” Pham held up a small ticking sphere, “actually, this is the good stuff.” He inserted a shim in a slot and the ticking stopped. He sniffed a long sniff, drawing the scent deep. “My grandad is totally going to spill the beans. You know what that means, yeah?”

“No?” Peter said.

“Three days?” Warren spread his arm, offering a hug.

“At least.”

Peter frowned. “You’re getting grounded for three days? We were the good guys.”

Dani looked around in confusion. “Grounded? For fighting back against a bully?” She elbowed Peter and leaned close. “What’s grounded mean?” she whispered. Peter gave her a ‘not now’ look.

“If only it were just grounding,” Pham stowed the device and hugged Warren, smooshing his face into the cold metal of Warren’s armour. “Woz know the deal, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Thanks big guy.” He concluded the hug with a clap on the back as the elevator ground to a halt.

The doors opened into a scene that none of them expected. Beyond the doors of the elevator was a scene that wouldn’t be amiss in the real world, though it was almost a century out of date. Gas lamps flickered to life, illuminating a fully appointed (if rather dusty) underground train station. Sitting like a steel anaconda from one end of the space to the other, an engine, coal car and several passenger cars dominated the room. Besides that, comfortable looking wooden benches sat in rows for the long extinct crowds and a ticket counter in the corner of the room discreetly advertised its services to them. The crew spread out, poking at anything that drew their attention and pocketing anything not nailed down. Peter and Pham drifted towards the engine as it squatted, cold and dark near the exit tunnel.

“So, any updates on the quest?” Pham asked, tracing his fingers over the various levers and valves.

Peter picked up a piece of coal from the pile and hefted it. “Nothing yet. I feel like we’re supposed to get this running though. You know anything about trains?” He threw the lump through the open grate to bounce around with a hollow clang. “Like, at all?”

“Well, I know we’re going need more than just one of those.” Pham looked out through the front facing window. “We’re probably going to need to do something about that.” He indicated the black and yellow striped bar across the exit tunnel. “I’m sure Woz could probably bust it, but I feel like this is a puzzle that needs solving through brains rather than brawn.”

“You don’t think the train could bust through that?” Peter asked. “And what did you mean earlier? About grounding being the least?”

Leading the way back to the main part of the room, Pham explained in hushed tones. “My grandad is a pushover. You saw him at school. My granma, she’s a stone cold biatch. Right now my body in meatspace is in a closet. Standing up. I’ve got a hack in my implant that locks the muscles for me, but it’s going to hurt like a mother humper when I turn it off.”

“Doesn’t any-” Peter began but Pham cut him off.

“Ssssh!” The bleached elf hissed. “Look. Woz knows, and now so do you. That’s as many people as I’m comfortable with at the moment. We can talk more later. maybe.”

Warren and Dani approached from the direction of the ticket counter. They were arguing good naturedly over where a strangely shaped key they’d found would fit. Dani was holding out for it being a big safe full of valuables, Warren’s expressed hope was that it would open a weapon cache of some sort.

“What do you think mate?” Dani tossed the key to Peter.

Peter caught the object and tuned it over in his hands. It was an intricate brass affair of branching shafts that ended in various shaped tips. It looked more like a tiny metal tree than anything. Embossed into the bulbous hand grip was a symbol, one would almost call it a glyph, but not one that was immediately apparent. “I think that if we can find the matching symbol to this we’ll be one step closer to getting this show on the road. Anyone seen one?”

“Ooh, ooh, ooh, like that one over there?” Pham pointed over Warren’s shoulder. Above the tunnel in front of the engine were three dark crystals, and directly below them carved into the stone were three symbols, one of which matched the key in Peter’s hand. “I mean, not super helpful. There’s no keyhole there, but I reckon they’d light up when we find where the keys really go.”

Peter turned the key around once more and tapped the handle against his palm. “Right, let’s split up and see what we can find. Go team!”

“Um, what?” Dani did a double take. Warren and Pham just shook their heads.

Peter shrugged. “For Cybertron?”

“Try again.”

“Let’s be bad guys?”

Warren placed an avuncular hand on Peter’s shoulder. “We appreciate the spirit, but maybe not.”

“Fine, but I’m going to keep trying.”

“Of course you are.” Everyone wandered off, poking and prodding at everything again, this time in the hopes of provoking a reaction instead of looking to acquire. Pete scooched himself over the counter into the ticket booth, falling to the dusty floor and sending up a cloud. He lay there coughing and trying to get his breath back.

“Peter, you dead again?” Dani called from somewhere out of sight.

“Not yet.” He rolled over and tried to stand up, tangled himself in the ticket attendant’s empty chair and fell over again, bouncing off the wall in the process. A bell started ringing, the overhead lights went off and the shutters over the ticket counter slammed down, cutting off all illumination bar what came through three cut-outs in the shutter. Three beams of light stabbed through the darkness, motes of dust drifting through them like indecisive shooting stars. Where they struck the back wall three slots had opened, revealing three holes that might fit the key they had found. Then, as suddenly as it had started, the ringing stopped. The shutters retracted and the slots closed seamlessly.

“How about now?”

Peter dusted himself off and tried feeling around on the wall where he had run into it. “Still alive Dani, though I have a sudden craving for cake.” He pressed against the wall and felt a brick move under his fingers. The bell rang again, the shutters closed and the lights turned off. Heavy pounding on the door and shutters echoed through the enclosed space. “Alright, knock it off. I’m fine in here and that’s really annoying.”

“You knock it off.” Warren shouted from the other side of the door, just as the brick slid back out and the bell stopped its clanging. “Thank you. Now, open this door, please?”

Before Peter could even move the door swung inwards. He turned to face his friends crowding the doorway. “So, umm, I think I’ve found where the keys go. So that’s something I guess.” He ushered everyone in and demonstrated the mechanism. While the slots were open he tried the key in the first hole, though Pham tried to stop him. As soon as he turned the key the bell stopped, replaced by a klaxon. At either end of the room a turret dropped down from the ceiling with a hiss of steam and began shakily spitting projectiles at everyone.

“Get behind me!” Warren roared, whipping his massive shield out in front of them. Everyone backed up against the counter so that they could take advantage of the cover the shield provided. Even then the angle was such that a slug got past every so often.

“This is why you don’t just press random buttons in a dungeon! OW!” Pham shouted as he took a hit in the leg. “It’s literally rule one. You’re lucky these things are basically scrap.”

“I’m sorry. I can fix this, I promise.” Peter jumped and rolled out of the lee of Warren’s shield and ran to the closest turret. The steam actuated servos that drove the targeting system jerked and shuddered in an attempt to track his movements but by the time they had lined up the barrel on him he was already thrusting his scythe blade deep into the inner workings and levering it around. The security device made a sound like a deflating accordion and fell to pieces at his feet.

“Look out!” Dani shouted and Peter whipped around.

In time to take a round right to the centre of the chest.

Thanks to his armour, the slug didn’t penetrate. The impact did wind him though and Peter took a knee as he tried to suck in a breath. He used the scythe to stand back up and threw himself into the wall to dodge the next shot. The refire rate on the turret was quite slow, only about one every other second and as the mechanism reciprocated Peter rebounded off the wall and dove under the turret with the scythe overhead, dragging the blade through the device. It too let out a depressing noise and fell apart. Peter dropped to his knee amidst the debris and sucked in several painful breaths.

“Aww, nuts.” Dani fingered the mangled remains of the key jutting from the slot. “Look at this. I had to make a perfect shot to get this. Now look at it.” From the looks of it, when the klaxon went off and the turrets dropped, the slots had slid shut on the key and crushed it.

“Where?” Peter asked. “And do you think you could do it again?”

“I was in the bathroom over there,” Dani pointed the way, suppressing a small cough. “Sorry, the dust is terrible.I was trying to, err, finesse, the box on the wall into giving me something,” she explained as she led the way, “when three little targets lit up over the mirrors and three marbles popped out. Of course, I hit every bullseye and a key dropped out.” By the time she had finished they were in the dimly lit but once finely appointed women’s bathroom. Peter and Warren felt vaguely uncomfortable, but Pham just marched over to the box Dani had described and scrubbed the grime from the front.

“That’s a health potion vending machine,” he explained. “See these three buttons that line up with the icons for tiny, minor and medium healing vials?”

“You can read the ancient script too?” Dani asked, awed. “Even my mother only knows a few words.”

“Nah, I just recognise these from seeing them and messing with the machines,” Pham produced an unusual coin and inserted it into the slot at the top. “Woz and I have delved a couple of ancient dungeons. Took us ages to figure out what these do. This last icon doesn’t match anything I’ve ever seen before though.”

“Ohh, that’s the symbol from the key,” Dani realised. She pressed the button and as described, three marbles dropped into the hopper with a clang and the targets lit up. Dani winced and sucked on her finger for a moment, then snatched them up and with deft movements struck all three in under a second. A tinny jingle emanated from the machine and a key dropped out the bottom to sit rocking in the hopper. Dani pulled out a handkerchief and blew her nose before retrieving it.

“Ok, now we have to find two more.” Peter looked around the room again. “Any suggestions?”

“Well, the vending machine thing gives me an idea,” Pham shouted, running out into the main hall.

Peter followed to find him molesting a large box by the end of a row of seats. Pham pressed on every square inch of the front surface of the box, cursing louder with every unrequited attempt. When that didn’t work he kicked the box with a dull metallic thud and ran to the next one and repeated the process. Two more and Peter was about to suggest Pham stop when the elf let out a whoop and scooped something out of a small door that opened in the front of the box.

“Booyah! Found it!” Pham presented a metallic cylinder slightly larger than a standard drink can. Painted on the side in very faded pigments was an idyllic farm scene, featuring the vegetables prominently, and more of the ancient text.

“You found a can of soup. How does this help us?” Dani plucked the can from Pham’s hands and rubbed the dust and most of the paint off it. “You don’t even know if it’s related to the puzzle.”

Pham used his sleeve to wipe down the front of the box beside them. The rime of ages dispersed, it became more obvious what Pham had been playing with was a food vendor, the entire front was a grid of glass doors behind which you could see cans and bottles of preserved foodstuffs. “See here? This door on every other machine has some other bit of ancient text, but this one? This one matches the middle glyph over the tunnel.”

Warren leaned over and checked the text at the bottom of the door from which the can had come. “Fine, still doesn’t tell us where the key comes from. What do you do with the can?”

“What else?” Pham popped the ring pull and started chugging the contents before anyone could stop him. To everyone’s amazement he finished the whole thing in one go, then belched like a champion. A quiet jingle announced the appearance of the key in the alcove the can had come from.

Warren opened the door and extracted the key. He rotated it a few times in his hands, gripped it by the branches and rapped Pham over the head with the bulbous end. “What have we discussed about eating things you find in dungeons?”

“’T’not’to.”

“And what did you just do?”

“I ate it.” Pham put a hand to his stomach as it rumbled. “Ooh. That doesn’t sit right. I might, uhg,” a mighty yawn cracked his jaws. “I might go sit down over there.”

“Me too,” said Dani around another coughing fit and followed behind unsteadily.

Watching them leave, Peter shook his head. “I get Pham, but I wonder what’s wrong with Dani? I hope they’re ok.”

“They’ll be fine,” Warren assured him. “Let’s find that last key. So far it’s been vending machines, but I’m sure we’ve checked them all.”

“What about the box under the counter in the ticket office?” Peter asked. “What do you think that’s for?”

Warren did a double take. “What box?”

Sure enough, under the counter in the ticket office was a metallic box. Warren thumped the side of it in frustration. Noticing Peter’ horrified look he explained. “It’s a weapon cache, not a vending machine. I don’t think it counts. Besides, it’s locked.”

“And you have a massive sword,” Peter retorted. “Flame on.”

Making a disgusted noise, Warren extracted his almost-anime-proportioned blade and ignited it. Grunting with effort he sliced the front off the cache and reached inside. “Gyah! Leggo ye blasted thing!” He pulled his hand back to reveal a metallic crab-like device had attached itself to his wrist. The legs had clamped on hard enoguh to draw blood and sparks leapt between the claws pinching the sides of his wrist. He shook his arm as hard as he could but the thing only gripped tighter and drawing ever more pained howls from Warren. “Get this offa me!”

“Hold still!” Peter shouted, trying unsuccessfully to hit the moving target. One particularly mistimed swing opened a deep gash in Warren’s arm, angering him further, but at least convincing him to stop doing a muppet impression.

“That. Hurt.” He enunciated clearly. “Leave it. Get me one of the health pots from the bathroom. I’ll meet you over with the others.” He opened his fist to reveal the third key.

Peter ran back into the bathroom and tried to purchase a vial. The bronze coin he tried first just ran straight through the machine and into the change slot. So did the silver one. He was loathe to possibly waste his one gold coin, so he attempted the Warren solution. He inserted the tip of his scythe in the crease by the hinge and applied a short sharp shock. The result left him astounded. There was no effect at all. So, he tried the next best thing, he applied the butt end of the scythe to the front panel, repeatedly, while yelling at the top of his voice. This too had little effect, other than drawing his companions to peek around the corner of the doorway in concern. One last swing and a tinkling sound later, Peter snatched the little tube from the hopper. “Good. Thank you.” He turned around and saw the three pale faces. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you alright?”

“Ye need to work on your follow through.”

“Just take your thing and stop bleeding everywhere.” Peter handed the item over. “Now, how about we get out of here?”

Peter led the way back to the ticket booth, but half wya there Dani folded in half coughing. She raised a hand over her head and waved it about. “Hey!” Cough... “I got a…” Heave… “Idea. Those over the…“ Cough, cough… “Tunnel. I think that’s the orderweshouldputthekeysin.” She rushed the last words together before running to the edge of the platform and emptied her stomach onto the tracks. “Sorry, I feel really crook.”

Pham sat down with his legs over the edge of the platform and laid back on the smooth, cool floor. “I feel like I should be as sick as you, but I just can’t get the energy to be.”

“Come on you two-woo-woo. Gha! Bloody thing!” Warren tried punching his painful accessory. “OW! I hate you!”

Leaving his team to take a breather, Peter entered the ticket booth and triggered the trick brick. He peered through the openings in the shutters and lined up each key with its corresponding symbol as Dani had suggested. Sure enough, as he turned the final key the shutters snapped open to reveal the three crystals glowing and the bar across the tunnel rising. He ran out into the main room. “Woooo! We did it! We… wha the heck is that?”

While Dani lay face down and evacuated various fluids onto the tracks and Pham lay face up with his arms over his face Warren was busy belting his arm against the nearest pole. None of them noticed that the train engine had begun to shudder and vent steam in hissing jets. As Peter watched it levered itself up off the tracks, assuming a squat humaoid form and blasted them all with its whistle.

Warren roared his defiance back at the metal beast and grabbed Dani and Pham by their clothes and hauled them to their feet. “Get away wi’ ye’. That metal menace aims to stomp us and yer playing silly buggers!”

The engine-turned-monster blasted its whistle again and took a shuddering step up onto the platform. The sheer volume of the sound forced everyone ecxept Warren to clamp their hands over their ears. Their hulking teammate merely dropped the other two on their feet and drew his sword.

“I’m gonna END you!” he screamed as he charged. Swinging the oversized blade with both hands, he leapt into the air and brought it down in an overhead blow.

The beast barely noticed. Warren’s blade, which Peter thought able to cut through anything, rebounded off the thing’s ‘head’ with a clang. It casually backhanded Warren through a bench seat before beginning to advance on the remaining team members.

Peter shook Pham, who was leaning on Dani’s shoulder, barely awake. “What do we do? That thing’s a tank!”

“Nha,” Phma slurred. “Ssnot blue.”

“What?” Peter looked around frantically for inspiration. “What does its colour have to do with anything?”

“Sssnot blue. If i’ wass a tank-engine, isshould be blue.” Pham put his head on the arm he was using to lean on Dani with. “I ssso tired. I’ve never been this tired before. No,” he rallied. “It’s gotta be stamina drain. Whatever was in that soup, it’s killing my stamina regen. It’s not hitting zero though, cos I’m still awake. I can do this.” He slapped himself in the face a couple of times as the engine grew closer. “Right, it’s gotta have a weak point. Help me over there and I’ll look for it while you keep its attention.” Pham pointed towards the elevator.

Dani nodded and cleaned her face with the soiled hanky. “I’ll get him over there and come back. You stay safe Peter, you’re the only one of us that’s ok.” She pointed with her chin to where Warren was hacking ineffectually at the side of the creature’s shins with a horrible echoing clanging. He wasn’t even trying to fight with any semblance of skill, just bashing at the indifferent metal with his sword. As they watched, he threw the sword down and began head butting the leg. “You’d better get over there before he hurts or kills himself.”

“Oi! Quit that!” Peter tackled Warren to the ground, moments before the great swinging arm could brush him away again. “Get it together! I don’t care how annoying that thing on your arm is. Get ahold of yourself.”

Warren shook his head to clear it, flinching as the crab’s claws arced again. “Gyah. Sorry. It just made me so mad. I’m ok. I think.” He rolled the pair of them to the side, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a stomping foot. “Mostly.” He pushed Peter away as the foot came down again, between them this time.

A wet hacking cough from over their heads let them know that Dani had come back. She snorted in a very unladylike manner and spat a neon green gob onto the tracks. “Ugh, get out and walk you bastard.” She wiped her watering eyes on her sleeve and snorted again. “Quit messing about or you’ll get squished.”

The boys rolled in opposite directions, splitting the transformed engine’s attention. As it was unable to choose a target in time, they were both able to roll to their feet and pull back to a safe distance. Foiled for the moment it blasted its whistle again. Peter’s ears rang from the assault, Warren roared his defiance right back again, but Dani held her nose and tried to blow through it.

“What are you doing?” Peter demanded, skittering to the side as the engine picked up a handful of coal from its fuel source and tossed it at him. The black chunks exploded in a cloud of black, obscuring half the platform.

“My head’sso stuffed up,” Dani coughed, tears forming clean rivulets down her blackened cheeks. “I’m trying to clear me sinuses so they don’t explode.”

Another blast from the whistle dissipated the cloud, just in time for Peter to see the oversize ‘fist’ connect with his ribs. He felt a crunching, grinding sort of sensation and the bottom dropped out of his stomach as gravity ceased to be an issue for him. There wasn’t even any pain. At first. Then gravity reasserted its primacy and he struck the tiled floor once, twice, then slid into the wall. He watched as Warren tried to draw the contraption’s attention as Dani thumped the side of her head and shook it as the backswing from the blow that hit him whiffled her clothing. As he lay there trying to mentally catalogue what parts hurt and what didn’t and idea came to him. The engine always seems to blast the whistle just before it made any major move. If we can find a way to plug that, maybe we can disable it. Realising that the list of parts that didn’t hurt was significantly shorter and that no-one was coming to help him, he levered himself to his feet and staggered over to where Pham was slumped against the wall with his eyes closed. “Hey, hey bud.” Peter blinked away the coal dust and sweat stinging his own eyes. “Are you asleep? Seriously?”

“No,” Pham complained. “I’m thinking, how could I be sleeping when that thing keeps making all that racket? What do you want?”

“Where’s Rex?” Peter pointed at the brass whistle visible over the engine’s ‘shoulder’. “If we can gum that thing up, maybe we can take it down.”

“At least it’ll stop making so much noise and I can get back to my nap. Here,” Pham pulled the device out of his inventory and put it on the ground. “Sic ‘em Rex.”

“What was that about a nap?”

“Nothing. Now, go clog that pipe.” Pham yawned hugely and waved in the general direction of the attempted melee.

Peter winced as a coughing fit wracked Dani’s body, folding her in half and causing the incoming metal arm to pass harmlessly through the space her head had occupied moments earlier. Warren was still trying to attract the thing’s attention, this time by belting the actuator that functioned as its calf with a steel pole pulled from the wreckage. Apart from sounding like a church bell in an earthquake, it didn’t seem to be having the desired effect. It certainly wasn’t causing any damage, which only infuriated Warren further.

Peter looked around at his fractured team. There was a very real chance that they were all going for a respawn here, despite how slow and arthritic the movements of the machine was. It telegraphed its attacks, shook and juddered with every step and vented steam like its piping was made of Swiss cheese. And yet, Pham was dead on his feet, Dani couldn’t concentrate for longer than twenty seconds and Warren was so overcome with rage he was literally gnawing on the arm that had just collected him. He tapped Rex on the dome and pointed at the brass whistle. “Target that,” he ordered.

The little drone clicked and whined obstinately and spun its turret back to Pham, who nodded and waved it on. With a whuf of air from its barrel, it started lobbing the goop at the engine.

Warren dropped off the thing’s arm with a crash and rolled to the side to avoid the stopping foot. He kicked out at the appendage with the obvious intent to destabilise but only caused himself to slide across the floor and bowl Dani over in the process. Peter grabbed the pair of them and dragged them out of danger, momentary though the respite was. When they had detangled themselves and were standing again he explained the intent.

“That whistle looks important, so Rex is going to gum it up. Dodge!” He pulled them out of range again as an arm got too close. “Woz, you keep that thing focused on you. Dani, can you get into the coal truck without dying?”

“Urgh,” Dani suppressed a gag, “I already feel like I’m dying. But sure, I’ll try.” She took off in a staggering run, barely twisting out of the way of another incoming swing as the engine continued its inexorable advance. She threw herself over the lip of the truck and buried herself in the black lumps.

“I’m gonna knock this thin’s block off!” Warren charged back into melee range with his sword high overhead. The resulting swing clanged off the breastplate with a reverberating gonging noise that set everyone’s teeth on edge. It was enough to draw the aggro, however, and the engine blasted its whistle again and stomped forward in a series of crushing steps as Warren backpedalled madly, still trying to land a decent hit uncaring of his own safety.

Beside Peter, Rex continued its inaccurate but unrelenting assault on the whistle. The engine’s back and shoulder was peppered with blobs of hardening goo, but for every three shots that missed, one hit the mark and slowly but surely the whistle was being covered. While Warren kited the engine across the platform, Rex moved to get a better angle behind it. The gobs began coating the whistle more effectively but the engine was closing on Warren fast.

“Whatever you’re doing, you’d better do it now!” Warren had backed up against the wall and the engine drew back both its arms to jackhammer him into a fine paste.

This time, however, when the engine tried to blast its whistle nothing came out and the arms remained motionless. It squatted, straining, steam venting from every actuator. It drew its arms back slightly further and tried to blast again. The goop coating the whistle flexed a little but held. Then, in a shower of metal plates, the engine staggered back. Stripped of its armour, the great machine shuddered and clanged, dropping to its knees. The internal workings now exposed were much cleaner and brighter than the outer exterior had been, their movements much smoother. Where the stomach should be was a brass tank bound in steel reinforcing, where the heart would have been was a complex mesh of gears through which flames licked. Everywhere else was a mess of linkages, gears and actuators across which tiny spiderlike gearlings climbed, their legs tipped with tools that repaired and adjusted as they went. The whistle had gone from the back, as had the chimney, and now smoke and steam vented freely, wreathing the engine like a cloak.

“Oh, crap.” Peter breathed as it stood once more. “I think we really made it mad now. Woz, get out of there!”

“I can take it!” Warren shouted back. “Come on, if you think you’re hard enough!”

Wait, made it mad? I think we can use that! Peter realised. “Fine, but don’t die! Try to lure it to your end of the platform for a minute!”

“What about me?” Dani called from the depths of the coal pile.

“Actually, you’re up” Peter called, edging around the engine as Warren postured and pelted it with bits of rubble. “We’re going to make a bit of a trip hazard right here. You start tossing the coal here, I need to get Pham.”

Dani proceeded to make a mess of the platform and Peter grabbed Pham and assisted him to the far end of the platform from Warren and the engine. He set Pham up as comfortably as he could and borrowed a small oil can and a metal sphere. “Now, when Woz does his thing, you’re going to be the next target. Are you going to be okay?”

“Eh, I’m squishy. If it works I’ll be fine. If it doesn’t, it’ll be quick.” Pham rested his head against the wall. “That’s the last time I eat dungeon food. Errgg. Go.”

Dashing back to where Dani had spread coal all over the floor, Peter crushed the oil can underfoot and spread it around amongst the black lumps, making a slippery, uneven mess. Checking on Warren and seeing that he was almost cornered again he hefted the sphere. “Woz, I’m gonna pop smoke. Drop to the tracks and tuck under the edge. We need this thing to come this way.”

“Not a chance!” Warren yelled back. “Dani yakked down there!”

“Yak or respawn? Which do you prefer?”

Warren grunted and stepped under a steam driven punch.

“Well?” Peter called, throwing and catching the sphere.

“Fine, but you’re paying my dry-cleaning bill!”

Peter tossed the ball underarm between the engine’s legs. A great cloud of billowing smoke joined the smog already wafting from the engine’s back and completely obscured the end of the platform. He dragged Dani and they both dove into the coal pile again as Pham started to hurl insults and Rex threw its signature glue balls. Having lost its target, the engine turned to face the new threat, blasting more smoke and steam from the vents at the back with a hissing roar. It lumbered into a charge, massive clanging footsteps echoing around the station. It reached the middle of the platform and put a foot down right in the middle of the dusty, oily puddle Peter and Dani had made and for a moment looked like nothing had changed, then the leg slid out from under the machine and the second leg followed, and the whole engine crashed to the floor on its back.

“Get the gearlings first!” Peter yelled as he leapt from concealment. “We have to stop it regenerating.”

Dani joined him after a moment and they set about destroying every spider-bot they could see as the engine bucked and tossed, trying to get back up and swat it’s attackers at the same time. Dani proved particularly adept, her daggers plunging deep into the brass bot’s bodies and finding their vitals. If she couldn’t reach one directly, she’d hit it with a throwing dagger, each dead bot unerringly falling into a sensitive part of the engine’s machinery.

A berserker's roar from high above signalled Warren’s entry into the fray. He dropped from on high, leading with his flaming blade and driving it deep into the tank that formed the engine’s abdomen. A great blast of steam threw them all clear as the cloud of scalding gas screamed through the rent. It ripped through the engine’s complexity and must have hit something electrical as fat sparks and blue crackles engulfed its metallic frame. The machine jerked to its feet like a marionette whose strings were being pulled by an epileptic puppeteer. Warren flipped to his feet and charged in again. The moment his sword hit, the crawling lightning earthed itself through Warren’s body and threw him right back into the dust. He lay there writhing and spasming as the great mechanical beast turned jerkily to face him, the stream of mist kicking up clouds of coal dust as it did.

“Woz, No!” Peter shouted, scrabbling across the floor to where his companion lay. He grabbed the back of Warren’s collar and hauled with all his might, keeping Warren from being crushed as the engine staggered towards them. Warren screamed as the scalding jet washed over his feet but still couldn’t get his muscles under control, so Peter kept dragging him along just out of reach.

Dani did her best to pull aggro away from the pair, peppering the back of the beast with daggers, which bounced off to no effect, and lumps of coal, which did even less. “Get away from them you mechanical monstrosity!” She shouted, but her words had less effect than her missiles.

Straining against Warren’s dead weight, Peter dragged him the length of the room, barely managing to keep clear of the electrified footfalls. “Gnh, you need to go on a diet when this is over,” he grunted.

“Shut up and pull,” Warren marshalled enough control over his legs to kick off the ground and assist.

“I think you’ve managed to disable most of its combat systems,” Pham’s voice floated wanly over the cacophony. “Keep running, it’ll run out of steam soon.”

Warren screamed again as the steam washed over his abused shins. “I hope so, can’t take much more than this.”

“We’re running out of room!” Peter shouted back. “What do we do?”

“Loop around the end of that row of seats!” Dani directed. “Then bring it back this way!”

With all the potential danger at the far end of the station, Dani assisted Pham over the lip of the platform before Peter and his entourage could return. They laid up against the bricks as the screaming, thudding scrum wended its way around the station. As the screaming of steam escaping the tear in the engine’s pressure vessel, Dani peeked over the edge of the platform. Peter on his knees over Warren’s recumbent body, clearly exhausted. The engine, one foot in the air but going no further. With a sighing groan it fell sideways onto the tracks, shattering and throwing parts high in the air. Dani shielded Pham from the shower of bits with her body and tried not to cough on him.

“Uh, you’re kinda heavy,” Pham complained. “Can we get up?”

“Sorry.” Dani assisted him to his feet and they staggered over to examine their fallen foe. “So, what do we have here?”

Peter and Warren crawled over to the edge of the platform and lay with their heads on their hands to watch as Pham plundered the no longer hostile pile of parts. “First up, I think this is yours,” he threw a key to Warren, who caught it gratefully.

“Ahh, blessed relief.” Warren unlocked the device from his arm and threw it against the far wall to spark and smoke to itself.

“This one’s yours,” he tossed a syringe to Dani, who used it immediately. “And this one’s mine.” He took a phial and drank it immediately.

“What about me?” Peter asked. “Don’t I get something?”

Pham dug about in the rubble, tossing random cams and conrods over his shoulder with increasing vigour. “Nothing in here tagged for you, sorry. There’s a quest item though, kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“It’s a lever. Do I pull it?”

“No!” Dani objected.

“Eh,” Warren shrugged.

Peter thought for a bit, exhaustion warring with curiosity. “So what could happen? Another fight?”

Pham waved around, indicating the ruined station. “I’m going to say, probably not?”

“Then do it,” Peter shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Warren elbowed Peter. “Says the guy who dies regularly. Maybe not the question you should be asking.”

Pham pulled the lever and the pile began shaking. Everyone dove for cover, but instead of rising with malice aforethought, the pile shook itself apart to leave a human powered handcart sitting on the rails.

“Well.” Peter stares, nonplussed. “That’s… a thing.”

“Before we jump onto this thing and crank ourselves off into the darkness, might I offer a suggestion?” Warren raised a finger like a litigious parent at a P&C meeting. When he had everyone’s attention he continued. “It’s been a bastard of a scavenger hunt and even worse fight. How about we all break for dinner and come back refreshed? The tunnel isn’t going anywhere.”

“But what about DB?” Peter protested. “We have to get him back.”

“We will,” Warren clapped him on the back. “I’m just suggesting we see what’s happening in the real world for a bit. I know my folks will have had time to calm down by now, so if I don’t face the music they’re going to spool up again and by Monday you’d think I was the second coming of Hitler. What do you say?”

“Yeah, probs a good idea.” Pham agreed. “I should check on what’s up in meatspace. Maybe grammy has cooled off a bit.”

“I know you’re joking, but you still need to take care of your body.” Warren rolled over the lip and hugged Pham. “Your grandad cares about you still. You know he’s probably slipped you something through the door. We’ll get you out of there. I promise.”

Everyone gathered around Pham and put a hand on him. “See you in an hour,” Peter promised. “I’m sorry the real world sucks for you right now, but we did the right thing. Once we take down the boss, we can party at my place. Dinner’s on me.”

They all nodded and hit the logout.

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