They strode over to the shed purposefully but silently, everyone occupied with their own thoughts. At the top of the stairs everyone readied their weapons, and Warren lead the way down. He had his oversized blade sheathed and his tower shield out in front, a bulwark against the dark. Pham followed, a small device in one hand and a lamp in the other. Behind Pham Dani trailed a blade against the brick wall and eliciting the occasional spark as she held a second lantern.

Peter came last. He was savoring the joy of having two hands to hold his scythe again. Even though his right hand felt somewhat numb. Dang. This is incredible. I have always wondered what it would be like, having adventures with a party. It’s just like in the books!

Warren hadn’t bothered to even slightly mask his clanking footsteps, and by the time they reached the tunnel slimes of various hues were emerging from the channel, glooping across the floor and splashing off each other in an attempt to be first in line to eat the Travellers. Taking three great strides forward, Warren slammed the base of the shield into the floor, creating a shockwave that shoved the front line of slimes backwards and created a space for the others to clear the stairs.

“Fire in the hole!” Pham smacked the device against his hip and tossed it towards the thickest concentration of enemies. It bounced, rolled and stopped. The nearest slime rolled over the top of the device, rapidly corroding the outer shell. “Um, in a second?”

Dani just rolled her eyes and flipped the shortsword in her hand to grip it by the blade stepped around Warren’s shield to lay into a monster with the hilt. With every strike the creature’s body threatened to burst and shower them with disgusting goo before collapsing back into its puddle-like natural shape. Suddenly it popped, releasing miasma that drifted across the remaining slimes, giving them a greenish tinge in the lamplight. “You can’t give ‘em time to wind up, mate. That’s how they get ya.”

The slime that had consumed Pham’s device had oozed forward, closer to several others which seemed to be attempting to combine themselves. The device detonated in the depths of the goo-pile with an effect similar to an underwater nuclear test but on a much smaller scale. A small tidal wave of gunk washed over everyones shoes as Pham smirked. “Sure, but hitting them with a blunt object works too. You do you, you know?”

Not wanting to be left out, Peter swept around the other side of Warren’s shield swinging his scythe low to the ground. Much like the way it was used as an agricultural tool to harvest hay and just as effective. Every slime in the arc was sliced in half horizontally and collapsed on itself.

The last creature threw itself mindlessly at Warren’s shield, which he lifted and brought down in the centre of the creature, slamming the life from it. “Is it just me, or was that too easy?”

“Full party, everyone but the leader deleveled to meet level cap,” Pham wandered around picking at the remains. “Not to mention whatever the hell is going on with that cloud Dani caused. Is this copper you think?” He held up a gauntlet for a moment then threw it over his shoulder. “Eh, probably vendor trash.”

“It’s all trash, come on.” Warren trooped over to the bulkhead door and wrenched it open. “We’re on the clock here.”

“Your face is on the clock,” Pham muttered just loudly enough for Peter to hear, but left the rest of the puddles alone. In the map room he traced the pipes on the wall with a finger then stood in a classing ‘pondering’ pose for a moment, surreptitiously looking around to make sure everyone was watching his brilliance. “Right, this is the path we follow,” he rattled off a series of directions, lefts, rights, forwards, backwards. It made zero sense to Peter but Dani nodded along.

“How can you be sure that's the way to go if you haven’t been there and checked the disks?” Peter portested, his head reeling from the attempt to remember the instructions.

Pham shrugged. “Game theory. That’s the most efficient way to traverse the maze. The programmers may have thrown in a twist to mess with us, but it’s more likely that any apparent shortcuts are actually dead ends, traps or mini-bosses. You know, like the stupid thing we fought yesterday.”

“Does your game theory mean we get through here with no fights?” Dani sheathed the sword she had used as an improvised hammer in the small of her back. She looked disappointed at the prospect.

A lump of green goo landed on the floor with a wet splat. All eyes turned to Warren, who was shaking his shield vigorously in an attempt to remove the remains of their previous foes. “What? Oh. Yeah. If Pham says it’s the easiest, it’s the easiest. Doesn’t mean simple though. There’s still gonna be fights. This dungeon looks like it’s slime themed, so more of that I guess.”

Dani extracted a pair of knuckle dusters from a pouch near her hip. Peter marvelled at her dedication to the game, carrying every item he had ever seen her use rather than ever open her inventory. He was about to remarks as such when she slipped the weapons on her hands and gave them some experimental jabs. At the full extent of the jab the knobbly projections on top of the knuckles telescoped out with a snap. “Impact drivers. Nice, yeah?” She saw Pham virtually drooling over them and held them out for him to see.

“How do you get them to do that?” Pham turned her hands over reverentially. “Is it inertial? Is there a trigger? Please tell me it’s not magic.”

“Ew, no.” Dani showed him the brass stud under her thumb. “Manual trigger. Magic. Pah.”

Warren clomped loudly into the first chamber, leaving them behind. “If you’re done playing silly buggers?”

Pham and Dani followed him meekly, embarrassed by their overenthusaiasm for gadgetry. Peter trailed behind, bemused by their reactions. Once everyone was inside Pham grabbed a disk, placed it and pointed at a door. On cue, it swung open with a hiss. “Thank you, next!”

Rooms blurred together as they navigated the labyrinth, Pham pausing only a moment at each pedestal to select a disk and a direction. Only once did they have to backtrack and Pham muttered about “stupid, tricksy devs” the whole time. Peter was sure he was referencing a movie but couldn’t for the life of him place the quote. Eventually they reached a room with a pedestal adorned with a golden disk instead of the usual translucent green. Pham tried lifting it, just in case, but it would only rotate.

“As I suspected. This is the last room before the boss room. Everyone saved their game?” Pham suggested innocently.

“Saved it from what, mate?” Dani asked, confused.

Warren shoved Pham, making him stumble and catch his balance. “Don’t tease the noobs. It’s boss time.”

Peter looked at his mechanical wrist, pointing to a prominent brass gear. “Actually, I think it’s a quarter past boss.”

“Smart-ass.”

“Bite me whitey.” Peter decided to try his luck.

Pham pouted for a moment then cracked a grin. “Now you’re getting it. Let’s go put this thing in the earth.”

Dani leaned close to Warren. ‘Did any of that make sense to you?” she whispered.

“Not a bit, miss. Not a bit.”

Peter opened his mouth to explain, then closed it again when he saw the mirth twinkling in their eyes. “Y’all think you’re hilarious, don’t you?”

“I’m adorable,” Dani grinned an impish little smile. “So, if the comedy show is over let’s hit the road. Lead the way oh fearless leader.”

Ignoring the snark, Pham stepped off into the exit tunnel , whistling a jaunty tune and twirling his spanner around his finger. The music ended as abruptly as the tunnel however, ending in a strangled squeak as uncountable eyes trained on the interloper.

The passageway has opened out into a natural cavern, rocky walls wet and glistening and reflecting the glow from a magical artifact that resembled a circular pond of water turned ninety degrees and wedged between two roman columns that sat atop a dias at the far end. Clustered around each column were half a dozen imps with their palms pressed against the fluted surface. Their concentration was unbroken as they fed some sort of arcane energy into the column, unlike the ranks of their compatriots who had, up until that moment, been kneeling in supplication before the rippling surface of the portal. A rustling turned to a murmuring turned to a hissing roar as the congregation leapt into the air and rushed towards the entrance where Pham stood rooted to the spot in shock.

“Wo-wo-Woz!” he scrambled backwards, pulling himself along the wall in a panic. A firm hand gripped his collar and Pham was thrown bodily back into the tunnel as Warren stepped forth and slammed the butt of his shield against the floor. The wave of dark bodies crashed against the cold metal and flowed back with the shockwave. Peter assisted Pham to his feet before leaping around the shield and into the fray. Dani patted him down, making sure he wasn’t bleeding before following suit. Breathing heavily, Pham glared at the last one left in the tunnel, Rex.

“Fat lot of good you are, you bucket of bolts.” Rex clicked and whirred apologetically as Pham stomped back to the melee. “Fine, I forgive you, now sic ‘em.”

Back at the front line Warren was holding off the impish assault, but just barely. He used his oversized shield to block the tunnel entrance and braced against the scrum that threatened to overpower him and push them back. Any time the imps managed to drive him onto the back foot he would lift the shield and slam it again. The shock would stun the front row of attackers and allowed Peter and Dani to duck out of cover and inflict as many wounds as they could before the tiny demons recovered.

Unfortunately they only managed to down a couple before the monsters wised up to the tactic and sent a runner to the imps powering the portal. They appeared to be some sort of leader caste because they incinerated the runner with a gesture and an incantation but one from each column detached and began directing the rest with high pitched shouts and cantrips that inflicted painful shocks. Thereafter however, any time Peter or Dani injured an imp one of the mage class imps would heal them with a quick spell and they would return to the fray to pressure Warren again. With the additional direction the blades wielded by the winged beasts began to find their marks, inflicting nicks and cuts on Peter and Dani as they stepped out and even Warren occasionally.

“Argh, ye wee scunner. I’ll stomp ye inna a puddle, when I get mah hands on ye!” Warren cursed. “Pham, we’re gonnae need onna yer famous plan here!”

“Uh, I’ve got one, if you don’t mind” Peter offered, ducking a seeking blade.

Pham stopped looking through his pockets and shrugged. “Your quest, your call. Make it quick though, or this is going to hurt.”

“Ok, it goes like this. Dani knows how to work the poisons. Can we get an area of effect weakening or something?”

Dani nodded and pulled out a blade with a greenish sheen and smiled horribly. “Or something.”

Warren slammed the shield down again. “A little faster here, I’m almost out of stamina.”

“Right, Pham, can you give me some sort of cover, then goop as many as possible?” Phma nodded. “Good. On Warren’s next slam we go.”

As agreed, the next time Warren slammed his shield on the ground and drove back the front line, Pham tossed a metallic sphere into the gap. With a resounding crack, a flash of actinic light and the smell of ozone and rotten eggs, the grenade exploded. Black smoke rolled out, and into the cloud Peter and Dani dove in opposite directions. Dani threw her dagger into the heart of the crowd and threw herself back into the safety of the tunnel. Pham shoved Rex out the side that Peter had exited via and into a target rich environment. The turret on top of the device went into overdrive, and though it came at the cost of reduced accuracy, range and proximity ensured that every shot was a hit. The entire front row and almost half the second were immediately covered in a sticky white substance and dropped to the ground.

In the chaos and smoke Peter wrapped his cloak around himself, flipped up his hood, and concentrated on being invisible as he hugged the rocky exterior of the cavern. I am transparent, he thought. I am a window. I am see-through. When one of the imps looked in his direction he squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to be less visible. I am Saran Wrap! It must have worked, because the beast shook it’s little head and turned back towards Warren just in time to wear a white projectile from Rex. Dang that was close!

As Rex was wreaking adhesive havoc and Peter doing his best to become one with the wall Dani’s special dagger was beginning to make itself known. Her expert throw had embedded it in the chest of an imp in the middle of the press. Such was the disparity in size that the blade had split the creature from neck to pelvis and dropped it instantly. The effect hadn’t ended there, however, as the flesh around the blade had dissolved into black motes that wafted across the battlefield, infecting everything everything in their path. Wherever the motes found purchase in flesh they would propagate rapidly, corrupting and consuming voraciously. If the infected survived it was inevitably crippled and littered to the floor on broken wings. If it died in the process its body became the next vector of infection and the cycle began again.

“Dayum gurl, you OP as hell!” Pham exclaimed as he watched the spreading devastation.

Dani essayed a quick curtsey in the reprieve they had earned. “Thanks mate, I think?”

“Don’t get cocky,” Warren warned as a spell pinged off his shield. “There’s still plenty out there and we haven’t even got to the elites at teh far end yet.”

Pham grimaced. “Yeah, cannon fodder in the front are just there to soften us up.” He pordded Warren in the butttocks. “Feeling soft there Woz?”

Warren stepped forward and bashed a pair of imps that were still airborne, sending them tumbling. “Don’t do that. We’re not here to play silly buggers.” Taking another step forward he slammed the shield down again, this time on top of the imps glued to the floor. The impact must have taken the last of their hit points, because they all ragdolled away to fetch up against the walls of the cavern.

“He’s right, you know.” Pham stepped out onto the field of battle for the first time. “Those up there aren’t going to move until we wipe out this lot.” He began delivering a coup de grace to any imp too sickly or impossibly bound to move. While his attention was fully engaged with one that had only been partially glued and was still able to wave its weapon to some effect, ball of black fire streaked across the room and impacted Pham’s shoulder reminding them all that there were at least two elites already in play. “Sonnofa- You’ll pay for that!”

Warren rushed forward, ramming into the nearest imp and drawing the aggro of the remainder. Dani fished a small glass bottle out of a pouch and held it to Pham, who had dropped to his knees holding his singed shoulder. Pham downed the contents in a gulp, grimacing at both the pain and the taste.

It was Peter, however, that fulfilled Pham’s prophecy. While his compatriots had been holding the attention of the mobs he had made his way stealthily around the outside of the cavern. Every time anyone had so much as glanced in his direction he had frozen and pressed himself against the wall as hard as he could. He had managed to slip all the way around behind the two elites directing the battle without drawing aggro and rip his scythe through the neck of the first without making a sound. The creature’s head had separated neatly from the body between flaps of its leathery wings, falling beside the tiny but disgusting body. Unfortunately he hadn’t been able to stop the second elite from firing off its spell at Pham, but he was able to drive the tip of the scythe in through its back and out through its chest. The creature had stared at the sudden protrusion for a moment before going slack and sliding off the blade.

“Booyah!” Peter rejoiced over his fallen foe. “That’s for hurting my friend!” A noise him made him look up. “It’s behind me isn’t it?”

Dani and Pham stared mutely. Warren facepalmed.

The creature that had emerged from the portal snorted in derision. It’s footsteps echoed on the stone floor as it approached Peter with agonising slowness. Whatever it was, it was much taller than an imp. It was taller than Peter. It leaned over his shoulder and breathed in his ear, “Yes. I am.”

Peter whirled around, cutting for the knees. The creature caught the haft of his weapon in an iron grip and grabbed him by the throat. Peter was hoisted into the air as his friends screamed out his name. Other than the leathery, clawed hand, Peter could see nothing of its body bar the brown hooded robe it wore. The inky shadows under the hood gave no hint to the face within and the robe reached all the way to the floor.

“So, this is the infamous Peter,” the creature’s voice rasped, a husky whisper filled with promises of dark delights. “You’re taller than I expected.” It turned him sideways with a twist. “Featherier too.” It shook him to make his wings flap and laughed at his ineffectual struggling.

From his involuntary vantage point, Peter could see the imps that had been powering the portal had turned to stone and were beginning to disintegrate. The portal itself was still active, however, it’s rippling surface throwing distorted shadows across the walls of the cavern. Small mercies, he considered. We still have to take out the boss. “What do you want?” he managed to force the words out.

“Want?” the creature laughed seductively. “Why, everything of course. My siblings and I will own this world, and soon enough, yours as well.”

Peter dropped his scythe and grasped the thing’s wrist with both hands. He gave up trying to get away and was just trying to breath when he felt a stirring in his hood. A white streak shot out, dashed across the arm holding him up and leapt into the darkness of the creature’s hood. It immediately dropped Peter and began screaming, stumbling backwards and thrashing about. In the process, the robe fell from its body, revealing a voluptuous demoness that would be every boy’s dream and every girl's envy, except it’s face was contorted in a combination of revultion and fear. From it’s forehead protruded a pair of horns, not unlike a ram’s. Unlike a ram’s, there was a rat gripping said horns and doing its level best to proffer a liverpool kiss. Repeatedly.

“DB! No!” Peter screamed as the thing’s throes took it backwards through the portal. He leapt forward as the shimmering surface disintegrated, landing on the dias where the portal once stood. He dropped to his knees and stared at his hands. “No,” he whispered.