《A Monster's Jaunt》Chapter 22: Bitingly Byzantine

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Intigo was filled with individuals with their own problems, worries, and concerns. There was one especially important individual, however, that had all of those, as well as a migraine on the horizon. In the blindingly white building that sat directly in the center of the city, Mayor Mekter was sat at his desk, rubbing his temples in a desperate attempt to retain his sanity.

“So what you’re telling me,” he said to the half-naked man that was sat directly opposite him, “is that you think that one of Esmira’s chosen is in Intigo? And not only that, you think that the best thing to do is parade that fact around a city that’s under the Empire’s control?”

“Yes.” The word was full of confidence, and for that Mekter had to give credit where it was due; not too many people could stand in his office, fully restrained and mostly unclothed, and seem perfectly comfortable. Then again, this man wasn’t like most people.

His skin was several shades darker than the average citizen of Intigo, his hair a dark brown. Mekter was pretty sure that he was from the west, past the mountain ranges. The caravans from there had reached the Northern Empire multiple times, but he’d never seen a priest from there. As always, this damned city managed to surprise him.

Mekter sighed. “Now, I can at least understand trying to convert the populace. It’s a silly idea, but it makes sense.” He gestured towards the man’s smallclothes. “But why did you have to do it half-naked? Is it a religious thing?”

The man looked at the ceiling pensively, as though the question required thought. Mekter would have thought it would be an easy answer. After a few moments, he finally answered, “I can’t buy any clothes.”

The mayor of the city, a prestigious title handed down by the steward of the Emperor himself, found that he was lost for words. The absurdity of the situation threatened to break his mind, so he defaulted to ignoring the situation and moving onto the work he had to do. Mekter exhaled briefly, and read off of the paper in front of him. “Mr. Gerald Hunkins, arrested for the crimes of slander, inciting public unrest, and indecent exposure. As the presiding mayor of Intigo, I find you guilty, and sentence you to one week in jail.” Mekter stamped the paper judiciously and motioned the guards to take him out of the office.

The priest looked at the mayor with outrage. “But how will I spread the good word of the Hero if I’m locked up somewhere? This is tyranny!” He continued to yell as he was dragged out of the office.

Mekter yawned and handed the paper to the woman who was standing behind him. It hadn’t even been morning and he’d already had too many drama queens in his office. With a mighty stretch and a crack of his fingers, he asked her, “Jay, what else is on the schedule?”

The steward of Intigo, the only reason that anything actually got done, glanced away from the sheaf of paper she was scribbling onto. “You’ve got two more meetings today. One is with Priest Damian of the Church.”

The mayor groaned audibly. “That man? What do the Burners want with me now?” Every time that the priest had found his way into Mekter’s office, it had always ended with a great deal of yelling, crying, and awkward comforting. The man was so sensitive it was a wonder that he managed to survive in that den of criminals.

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Not to mention that the monthly contract renewal with the Church was coming up, bringing with it the profound sense of dread that Mekter had grown so used to.

“According to him, this has to do with matters greater than just the Burners. He refused to elaborate on the point.” Jay scribbled something on the paper and shuffled to the next one. “Your second meeting is for…” She squinted at the words, as though she didn’t believe it herself. “Teeger Burky.”

Mayor Mekter blinked. “Teeger? That Teeger?”

“The very same.” Jay frowned, apparently just as confused as he was, which confused him even more. Mekter relied on her for all of his daily activities for the past two months, from meetings to lunch planning to tea recommendations. There had not been a single moment during that entire time that he had seen her confused or worried. This was a first. “We received a message from the usual channels a couple of hours ago so I fit him in. He gave us no notice of what he wanted to talk about.” There was a disapproving edge to her tone that sent a shiver down Mekter’s spine.

At least it was good news. “I guess he’s done working for that hack of a Lieutenant, huh? Hah!” The mayor’s mood skyrocketed. Besides the crazies that were coming in, this morning was looking up.

“According to my sources in the city, he was actually fired yesterday morning,” Jay said in a neutral tone. “Apparently he was heralding some sort of hero?”

That was enough to take Mekter aback. “Really? That Teeger?”

“Yes. That Teeger.” Jay said, with a hint of annoyance.

“Hmm. Interesting.” Mekter interlinked his fingers on his desk, thinking rapidly. One insane preacher talking about it didn’t mean much, but if the gentle giant that he was thinking of was going so far as to claim it was true…

Calculations and plans flew through the mayor’s head, swirling around. Being a bureaucrat in the Northern Empire was a competitive, well-paying job, with the best positions being in the capital. Any self-respecting politician would have looked on Mekter as a failure, having taken a job in a recently conquered territory in the middle of nowhere.

In Mekter’s opinion, anybody who judged him like that was a fool with no vision for the future. Intigo was a city whose only export had just been banned, making it a completely blank slate. Sure, there were problems in the present, but if all went according to his plan, he could have the city’s economy roaring again in no more than a few years.

His thoughts were interrupted by a polite knock on the door. Mekter stiffened and said, “Please, come in.”

To his great relief, the figure that came in was large and hulking, the very picture of intimidation. Despite his enormous body, Teeger had a submissive demeanor, a little hunched over and wringing his hands nervously. His eyes were wary, as though he expected an ambush.

Mekter put on his best smile and opened his arms in a welcoming gesture. “Teeger, my friend! I haven’t seen you in so long! How have you been?”

Teeger kept his cautious expression, steadily glaring at Mekter’s face. “I’m not your friend. And I’ve been doing quite well.”

The mayor laughed as though he’d just heard the best joke of his life. “Well, pardon my assumption, but I thought you were here for your old job? You can’t be doing too well, could you?”

The former guardsman stared unflinchingly. “I’m doing quite well. Well enough that I don’t have to rely on you anymore, that’s for sure.”

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Now that was a surprise. Mekter raised one eyebrow, still smiling. “Ah, I see. Then may I ask you what you came here for? As much as I love chatting with you, I don’t quite have time for social calls with all the citizens of the city.”

Gritting his teeth, as though he was eating sewage, Teeger said, “I heard that you needed help with some Burners through the grapevine. I have an idea for somebody who could help.”

“Really? Who?” A hint of excitement bled into Mekter’s voice.

“A hero.” Teeger said that word casually, as though he were simply stating a fact.

It looked like the man had finally lost it. Mekter could feel the smile on his face sour as he realized that Teeger was completely and totally serious. “...A hero.”

Teeger raised his hands defensively. “Now, I know that you have your doubts. But I was there when he arrived, and I was at the Market yesterday. I swear on my life, he’s powerful.”

“You were at the Market yesterday?” Mekter’s voice was sharp. “Can you tell me, exactly, what happened?” He’d gotten a report about it, but nothing more specific than the fact that an incident had ocurred. Lieutenant Slater had been quite sparse with the details.

With a nod, Teeger said, “It all started when the hero walked in. He was looking for--”

He was interrupted by a large bang on the door. Followed by another, then another, and then some very angry screaming. With a regretful sigh, Mekter spoke up. “Come in! And if you damage the door, by all that is mighty, I’m going to have the Church pay for a new one.”

The door whipped open, hitting the wall with a crack, causing Mekter to wince. Priest Damian, as skinny as young as a newborn foal, strode into the office, red in the face. “Did you know about this!?” He slammed a bundle of papers onto the mayor’s desk.

“Please, have some respect for the office. Even if you clearly don’t have any for me.” Grumbling, Mekter picked the papers up and inspected them. Surprisingly, he recognized the handwriting. It was the same small methodical script that the Lieutenant wrote all of his reports in. Even stranger, it contained information that he’d never seen before.

“Lieutenant Slater gave that to me this morning. How come you’d never told me about this before?” Damien was fuming at the ears. “This is under the direct jurisdiction of the Church!”

Mekter scanned the documents as quickly as he could. “A group of wizards that lives underneath the city? I didn’t know about this either.” He felt a tinge of irritation at being excluded by the Lieutenant, but put the papers down and looked the priest in the eyes. “But he made the right move not telling you about it. Can you imagine the entirety of the Burners looking for a group of wizards underneath the city?” The very thought made the hair on his back stand up.

“What, so you think that Slater was right in just letting them do whatever they want? It’s an outrage!”

“Wait!” A new voice sounded in the hallway. A breathless young woman in rags ran to the office, steadying herself with one hand on the doorframe. “Damien, why did we come here?”

A larger figure strolled behind her, barking a laugh. “Because the little priest’s got connections, y’know?”

Mekter looked on at the new visitors blankly. He glanced back at Jay, but she also had clearly lost the chain of events. “Um, excuse me, but who are--”

“YOU!” Teeger, who Mekter had forgotten was still in the room, pointed at the priest. “What do you think that you’re doing here, after everything that you did yesterday?”

Damien looked at the burly man with surprise, and then a sneer. “Ah, one of the heathens from yesterday. Give your prayers to the Iron Lady that you’re in the Mayor’s office right now, or I would smite you mysel--”

The woman rushed to his side and covered his mouth. “Now, let’s not say anything that we’ll regret.” To Teeger, she said, “I’m very sorry for everything that happened yesterday, but it wasn’t our fault at all.”

“Are you saying that its the hero’s fault, then?” Teeger’s voice was incredulous.

Damien ripped the hand off of his mouth and spat on the ground. “That’s what I think of your hero!”

“Enough!” Mekter shouted, summoning as much authority as he could. “Teeger, stop yelling. Damien, for the last time, stop ruining my office. And who are you people?” He looked towards the man in armor and the woman in rags. “What’s going on?”

Everybody in the room seemed to stop and look at each other. Mekter stared at them, hoping that an answer was forthcoming.

Teeger cleared his throat. “As I was saying, it all started when the hero walked into the Market.”

###

One particularly confusing explanation, full of corrections from the priest, later, and Mekter had something of an idea of what went down at the Market. He held his head in his hands. “Why did somebody this insane have to come into the city now?”

“We had to, he’s a hero!” Teeger protested.

“Yes, so I’ve heard.” Mekter let out his umpteenth sigh of the day.“Iron Lady be blessed, it’s been a long day. And it’s not even noon.” He stood up and gave a small bow. “Well, it was quite nice of you all to come to my office today, but I’m afraid that I’m quite busy today. Please leave. Now.”

“What!? You never even answered my question!” Damien protested.

“On purpose,” Mekter said. “I want nothing to do with whatever you’re doing, as long as you keep the Burners out of it. Now, get out.” He gestured towards the door.

With a harrumph, Damien stormed out of the office, followed by a profusely apologizing Belle and a chortling guardsman. The door slammed on their way out, which irked the mayor, but he ignored it for the time being. He turned to Teeger, who was still in the office. “Now, I can’t help but feel curious as to the hero that you keep mentioning. I suppose that I’ll have to meet him eventually. If you can get in touch with him, I do have a job for him.” He paused. “Unless you want your old job back?”

Teeger shook his head without hesitation. “Those days are past me. I think that the hero is good luck, though, and the more that he’s in the town the better off we’re all going to be.”

“It was worth a shot.” Mekter extended a hand. “I hope that you remember that you’ll always have a place here, though.” Teeger shook it, and walked away, closing the door gently.

The mayor slumped back into his chair, thinking about the events in his city. To himself, he muttered, “Still, a hero? I’m sure he’ll be useful, one way or another.”

“Sir? Your lunch meeting with the Merchant’s Guildmaster is in fifteen minutes.”

And just like that, time ticked on, and the mayor moved onto things that he thought were more important.

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