《A Monster's Jaunt》Chapter 3: Grounded in Reality
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It was an peaceful day. The sun was shining brightly, warming the air to a toasty temperature, with a cool breeze. This was not abnormal; there was rarely ever a day with bad weather at the Grove.
But there was one creature that was in a particularly bad mood regardless. From a distance, one might be able to make out a small lizard floating in the marsh with a frown on its face. However, if one were to get closer to it, they would be able to recognize that the lizard only had two legs, smack dab in the middle of its body, and the body was far thinner than any lizard they’d ever seen. It’s rainbow scales glittered in the sunlight, and its black eyes, on either side of its body, had a deep intelligence buried within them.
It was a rare beast, one not found often in the world. It’s scientific name was “Axot recononononom”, but because nobody could be bothered to remember the number of syllables in its name, it was more frequently referred to as a Walking Fish. This was because, anatomically, it was a fish with legs.
This specific Walking Fish went by the name Edie, and she was floating on marsh water, hoping for an end to this monotonous day. In her mind, she cursed at the world, at the weather, and at the witches themselves. It had been no more than three years since she had made her pilgrimage towards the Grove, and that was enough time for her to grow to hate it.
She was something of an oddity here. Most of the other creatures were born and brought up in the lazy lifestyle, and she had certainly loved it for the first couple of days. But soon after she grew tired and wanted more out of life. She wanted adventure, action, any kind of stimulation. But life around the Tree was static, idyllic, paradisiacal. Boring.
She had, of course, brought up her complaints to other members of society. They were unsympathetic to her plight. The overwhelming response she received was, “If you don’t like it, then you can go live in the Wastelands.”
And that was certainly an option she had considered. But when she weighed it out in her mind, she realized that it would never work out. As an individualist, she appreciated the ability to live her life as she wished, but as a rational being without a deathwish, she found the notion of getting eaten rather unappealing.
This was why she was currently floating in a marsh, staring into the sky, and regretting past decisions. What she didn’t expect was for the sky to stare back.
She heard the… thing before she saw it. There was a great deal of squawking and screaming coming from the east, near the cave system. Edie brushed it off as some sort of strange mating ritual, but the noises grew closer, which worried her. Soon enough, something struggled up above the treeline, making a strangled sound that startled the fish.
Edie sent a panicked glance at the object, not sure what she was expecting to see. She certainly wasn’t expecting some sort of abomination of a chimera. It appeared to be a creature that was half-hawk, half-tree, glued together with the element of darkness and… a cape?
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Strange creatures were the norm here, but this was bizarre even by the Grove’s standards. Edie stared at it in curiosity for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out where the first half started and the second half began. She had no more time to inspect the anatomy of the creature once she realized its trajectory.
The flying chimera descended with all the grace of a discombobulated swamp ooze, and chaotically flapped its working wing in an attempt to avoid the ground. All this did was force it into Edie’s direction. With a frantic glub, Edie started swimming away, executing a perfect armless backstroke. As beautiful as her swimming was, it was too late.
The collision was imminent. Edie was happy that something had happened, but was quite disappointed that it led to her death. Her last sight was a Kanmi passionately kissing a cape. She thought it was kind of disgusting.
###
In a fortunate turn of events, Edie actually came out of the crash unscathed, albeit briefly unconscious. As Karla, Darkness and Boggy made contact with the marsh, Boggy managed to take most of the force, slowing down Karla’s impact into Edie from a flying tackle into a powerful nudge. It was still strong enough to cause the fish to fly out of the water and flop onto the land, but thankfully no permanent injury was caused.
Boggy got off far better than he expected. Shapeshifters are notoriously difficult to kill, but frighteningly easy to injure. Having taken the brunt of the force, he had predicted that at least a few of his branches would have broken, and a tremendous amount of pain. To his surprise, he came out perfectly fine.
Darkness’ condition was difficult to ascertain, but it was clear that spending so much time in the light had made him weaker. He ran away from the now unfurled cloth, and hid inside the trunk of a tree, making himself more comfortable. That was the first time that he’d come into physical contact with another being, and it had exhausted him.
Karla had no care for her personal safety. Her first thought was for the preservation of the cape, and in that aspect she had failed miserably. In her panic, she had grasped it too hard with her talons, causing a rip in the fabric. The impact had knocked a couple of the gold embezzlements off, and the dirty water had soiled the colouring. She let out a wail, and then turned on the floating tree.
“Look at what you’ve done! You’ve completely ruined it.” She held the dripping cape up in one talon, showcasing the damage. A snarl crossed her beak, and she yelled, “You’ll pay for this! You glub glub-”
Karla’s threats were drowned out by the sounds of her drowning. Kanmi, with their feathers of rock, had a deep fear of water. The only reason that Karla had stayed afloat that long was through pure desperation to keep her cape safe. Hope shattered, she began her slow descent into the murky depths of the marsh. She stopped descending shortly. The marsh was only a couple of feet deep.
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There was a flash of color as the innocent victim of the tussle dived back into the water, mostly conscious. The fish swam to Karla, and tried her best to pull the struggling bird out of the water, but it was futile. She was just too heavy.
Coming back to his senses, Boggy also descended, changing the material of his body to become slightly less buoyant. He wrapped a couple of branches around Karla, and with the help of Edie, heaved her to the surface.
Karla spluttered as she came into contact with air, splashing her wings wildly in an attempt to reach land. “Stay still, for whale’s sake!” Edie shouted, nearly avoiding a devastating slap. The Kanmi calmed down a little bit, but squawked curses until she was pushed to shore. With a heaving sigh, she caressed the earth, showing an appreciation for stable ground she hadn’t had previously.
The kerfuffle had stirred some of the other nearby residents, but none of them seemed the least inclined to check on the health of the ruffians who disturbed their afternoon nap. A nearby Gruffalo perched upon a sunlit rock snorted in contempt before returning to sleep. Edie shot him a glare, and turned her eyes on the strange duo, not chimera, that was laying before her.
They were, in fact, a rocky bird and a tree, with a cape in between them. Perhaps the darkness was a trick of the light, but what astounded Edie the most was the cloth. It wasn’t something she’d seen in the past three years, or expected to see again. Her legs shook as she approached the cloth, and she flopped down on it, feeling the soft fabric against her scales.
She got whipped off the cloth instantly. Karla may have almost died twice in just as many minutes, but that didn’t mean she was going to let just anybody take her possessions. Edie got launched a couple of feet, but regained her balance quickly. She had questions that needed answering.
She edged closer and looked intensely at the bird. “Where did you get that fabric? Where did you find it? How did you get it in here?” She leaned in with each question.
Karla stared back blankly. “I don’t know. I just took it from that guy.” She nodded towards the tree, who raised a branch in greeting.
Edie took a deep breath. “Is it from a… human?” She whispered the last word as though it were a curse. Karla gasped; that couldn’t be true, could it?
“Yes, it was. The human walked in here and died. I took it off of his body.” The tree answered in a matter-of-fact tone, as though robbing bodies was something he did frequently in his free time.
This was news to Karla. “No way. This was made by… those things?” She held the cloth tightly to her body, conflicted as to whether she should tear it apart or squeeze it closer.
“What do you mean a human walked in here? How did he do that? Where did this happen?” Edie’s voice grew more animated. Finally, a chance at escape!
The tree seemed to shrink away from the interrogation. A thread of suspicion crossed his mind, and for the first time in his naive life, he acted with caution. “Who are you?”
Edie cleared her throat and wiggled her gills, clearly embarrassed. “Ah, yes, how could I forget my introduction? I am Edie Galacia, human expert extraordinaire, and I’m trying to find a way out of this whaleforsaken place!” She finished her sentence with a flourish of her leg, creating a nice little light effect.
The tree gave another wave of its branch, and introduced itself as well. “Hello. My name is Boggy, and my friend Darkness is around here somewhere.”
“Very nice to meet you, Boggy! Now if you wouldn’t mind answering my questions, we can-”
“Wait just one second.” Karla joined the conversation, eyes narrowed in distrust. “You want to leave this place? How are you going to survive with the… y’know, humans, outside?”
Edie gave a long sigh. “Humans aren’t as awful as everybody says they are. Sure, I was enslaved for a couple of decades, but it wasn’t all bad. I mean, they gave me food, and there was always something going on. Even got kidnapped a couple of times."
“You were enslaved?” Boggy leaned in, interested.
“Yeah, well, it’s a long story, and I need answers right now. Can you tell me where this human came from?”
“Yes. It was all the way on the very edge of the Grove, on the opposite side of the wasteland. He appeared out of nowhere and then a witch killed him.”
Edie waited for a second before realizing that was the whole story. She stifled a scowl, and said, “Alright, I think I’m going to need just a couple more details than that.”
The following interrogation lasted a half hour, and consisted of many frustrated growls, repetitive redundancies, and disinterested answers. Karla didn’t listen to a single word.
She was too busy contemplating the information that she’d just received. Humans weren’t all bad? That made sense, she supposed. After all, how could a race so evil create something so shiny? But according to her parents, they also drove her ancestors to near extinction.
Her thoughts wrestled with each other, until eventually the simplest, most self-evident truth surfaced. She liked shiny things, and she was willing to do whatever it took to get them.
She faced the fish, exasperated from the interview, and looked her straight in the cold, clammy eyes. “I want to go with you when you leave.”
For the moment, chaos had resolved itself, but the Kanmi brought it with her everywhere she went. Edie did not know this.
Her eyes brightened, and she said, "Sure!"
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