Watching the snow as it drifted down from the night sky, made me wonder if I should try to find the answers. The dream had my skin feeling rubbery and left me full of energy. It felt like all my nerves were on fire, but in a good way that didn't hurt. As if I could have turned into the jaguar right then and there. Almost tried, but a bit of realism made me stop. Not that turning into a jaguar was silly, no, but what if I couldn't turn back? I would be stuck as a jaguar in my bedroom with the door locked. Deciding to follow the call for a little bit like I had in the dream, I got dressed and snuck downstairs, putting on my jacket and boots, before heading outside. I was thankful that my parent's room was on the other side of the house as they were unlikely to hear me. The beach would be a good place where I could be alone.

Stepping outside, the air had a cold bite to it. The heat that I had woken up with was still with me. All I could hear was the crunching of a snowplow off in the distance on one of the main roads, and the crystalline sounds of snow landing.

The night had a serene atmosphere to it that contrasted with the storm within me. I tried to keep my mind off the desire to try to change shape by focusing on trudging through the half-foot of snow. A few minutes later, I managed to reach the main road which had been plowed, though the rut was already filling in. Deciding to avoid walking in the road, I continued through the deeper snow on the curb.

Distracting myself from the conflict inside me, I thought back to the dreams I had had recently. The first couple of nights were a blur. I only remembered a vague feeling that something was coming closer, something that made me excited and nervous. In one dream, I was in an underwater ruin. Something had happened that I couldn't remember, and then I had turned into a dolphin and swam out into the ocean before finally having woken up in a sweat. I wished that I had remembered more of it. But now I hoped maybe this walk would help.

As I finished remembering the ocean, I finally reached the trail. It was a partially hidden trail as it had grown over through the years, and I had to look carefully for it, finding it by the tree with a ribbon next to it.

As I entered the trail, a bunch of snow fell upon my head, making me shiver despite my warmth. Looking up, I thought I saw a shadow move through the trees, but upon seeing nothing else, figured it was my imagination. I did start to feel like something was watching me, but didn't see anything as I looked around. The forest was dark, as the only lights available were the aura from the falling snow.

The trail continued downhill through the silent forest. No sounds anymore, only me and my thoughts and my footsteps. It allowed me to think back to the previous night's dream. This one had been even more vivid. It started with me being near a cliffside cave. It felt familiar and old. Walking into the cave, I had found a small fire burning, and on the walls were extremely old cave paintings of wolves. In the back of the cave had been a stone altar with the skull of a canine. I assumed it was of a wolf.

As I approached the skull, I heard it growl out the words become the wolf. And like with the jaguar, I turned into the wolf and had gained the knowledge and power to shapeshift into one. Even now I could feel it a little bit, waiting for me to release it. I had to admit to myself that it scared me to think of what would happen if I did turn into a wolf or jaguar. But at the same time, it excited me just remembering the feeling of having found my destiny. That both the wolf and the jaguar had been right for me. Thinking back now this was when the first signs of them being more than just dreams happened.

At the end of the trail, I found myself above the beach. It was mostly rocks, with the occasional large boulder. I could see the waves coming out of the darkness onto the shore. There didn't appear to be anyone else there. Walking over to the beach, I moved behind a boulder so that in case someone walked by, I wouldn't be in direct line of sight. Taking a deep breath and releasing it a few times, I gave into the feelings. I focused on the jaguar as it was the most recent, and the one thing that pulled me the most.

Once again the feelings began to flow through me. I could feel my body desiring to change its shape. It felt like having to stretch outwards. I instinctively knew it wasn't my limbs, but my shape. Crouching down on all fours, I tried to give in. My mouth and face started to twitch and feel rubbery. My fingers curled up like two paws. It felt right there, a little more of a push and I would turn into a jaguar. I strained to give it that extra push, but....nothing happened. It felt so close that I could taste it. My whole body was ready to take its new form, but I couldn't.

I tried a few more minutes, but all I got was a sore jaw and cold hands as I stood back up. The energy I had was dissipating away until only a small sliver of feeling remained. I shook myself out a bit. Without all the energy pushing me along, I started to feel sleepy and it was time to head home. Despite what my body was telling me, my mind knew it was a dream and felt stupid to think that I could shapeshift. It was much easier to think this way now that the feelings and energy were calming.

A noise sounded from the other side of the boulder. I wasn't sure what it was until I heard a voice. Something about it sounded strange, it sounded a little more gravelly and higher-pitched than I would expect.

"Bit late to be out?" it asked.

Feeling a little nervous about being out here all alone with someone this late, I responded with, "Yeah, I couldn't sleep."

The voice responded with a "Well it is a nice night for a walk." Something light hit the snow.

When the voice next spoke it sounded distant. "But you will need your sleep for what comes next."

I blinked and tried to look around the boulder, but all I saw is snow, not even footprints. It was as if I had been by myself all along.

Unnerved, and spent, and doubting that anything else was going to happen, I headed back home.

Once home, I only took off my boots and jacket, not even bothering to remove my slightly damp clothes, and climbed back into bed.