TIME & TIED: AWARENESS

ARC 1.2 - Of Her Peers

PART 11a: PHIL DOUBT 1

Phil Clarke swirled the liquid in his cup before taking another sip. It was times like this that he enjoyed a cup of hot chocolate in the local cafe after school. Times when he wasn’t sure what to do about Julie LaMille.

It seemed like her plans were taking a more severe turn in their Grade 11 school year. He had caught a hint of the shifting tides after learning more precisely how Julie had planned on getting Frank into trouble during chemistry class, nearly a week ago now.

Ever since that plan had failed, Julie had been obsessing over both Carrie's connections with Frank, and Carrie's whereabouts in general. Even going so far as to monitor Frank’s house last weekend. Clarke wasn't entirely sure why this was happening, or what role he might find himself in as circumstances played themselves out, but he suspected not a lot of good would come of it in the long run.

“Want to talk about it?”

Clarke looked up at Theresa. The redheaded waitress had a habit of acting as a sounding board for the cafe’s customers when business was slow. And while he had spoken with the twenty-something woman on occasion, it had been about family, or school issues. “Not today, thanks.”

Theresa nodded, leaving the receipt at his table. “No rush, whenever you’re ready.” She moved off.

Clarke was left fingering the piece of paper. Luci's words from outside Frank’s house last Sunday came to mind then: 'Julie's just using you, you should never feel obligated to do things for her.'

Clarke smiled and shook his head. Luci could be pretty blunt. She reminded Clarke a little of his older sister that way. Of course, Luci was a lot younger - even younger than him, being the youngest person in Grade 11 by a factor of two years. Still, there were some parallels... enough for Clarke to begin wondering whether Mary would have a similar reaction to his current "relationship" with Julie.

After all, he'd never gone into detail about him and Julie during his sister’s occasional trips back home. Mary had her own life now, off in third year University. She didn't even know Julie, or any of the people in town. She had already graduated from high school by the time their family moved here, a little over two years ago. Just in time to get Clarke into the local public high school before classes started.

Actually, Clarke realized, this was verging on the longest amount of time he'd ever spent in one place; it was nice that dad had finally found stable work.

Clarke finished off his hot chocolate. He decided Mary might not approve of how things were, but she would understand. There was something about Julie. Some part of her Clarke couldn't turn his back on. Julie needed someone who could look beyond her actions, at who she really was. Someone who could keep her from going too far off the deep end.

Carrie Waterson, despite being Julie’s best friend, couldn’t do that. Not given the blonde girl’s superficial way of looking at people.

Granted, Clarke knew he knew he was no deep thinker either, but he was the only one actually wondering as to Julie's inner motivations. Something she remained very tight-lipped about - along with her past. But this too, Clarke understood... one's childhood might not be filled with the happiest of moments.

***

"Where are you going?"

"Goin' out."

Mary paused before crouching down next to him. And despite the four year difference in their ages, the two blond siblings had always enough of a rapport that he didn’t try to simply push past her. "You're carrying a lot of stuff with you," she pointed out. "Planning on being gone for a long time?"

Phil Clarke looked away, unable to meet his sister's gaze. "Don't know."

Mary moved to where she could look him in the eye again. "Well, the moving vans are coming tomorrow. You'll be back in time for the big trip, right?"

Phil simply shrugged and shifted his gaze to the ground.

Mary let out a gentle sigh. "Phil... running away is not the answer," she said definitively.

"Who says I'm runnin' away?" he fired back defensively, at last turning back towards Mary's face.

"I do. Because you're acting very similarly to the way I did when I was your age," his sister replied matter-of-factly.

After a moment, Phil looked down at the floor, scuffing his shoes. "Well... well, I don't wanna leave! I was just startin' to make friends! Just gettin' used to livin' here! I don't wanna move again! It's not fair!"

"No," Mary admitted, rising back to her full height and adjusting the straps of her dress. "No, it's not fair. But you'll still be able to write letters. And just think of the new town we're going to! There will be all new sights, you'll make new friends..."

"You sound like Mom," Phil interjected bitterly.

Mary blinked in surprise before making a rather annoyed face. "Oh, hell. I do, don't I. And that claptrap never worked on me either."

She pursed her lips. "All right, here's the honest truth then. Phil, life sucks. With no one hiring Dad on a permanent basis, he has to keep moving around to wherever he can get work. But - and this is important, so listen up - through all of the changes, you've got a family who loves you. We all care about you very much and would be very sad if we lost you. So you have to be strong. You can be strong, right?"

"Dunno," Phil said sullenly, still looking at the floor.

Mary reached out to tilt her brother's chin back up. "I think you can be. And Mom, Dad, me - we're all going to be around to help each other through this." She smiled. "Besides, if you run off, who am I going to have around to torment?"

Phil hmphed. "'S your problem," he retorted, albeit with a more mollified tone.

"True. How about this, if you put your things away and help me pack up the rest of the boxes, I won't bug you all next week, okay?"

Phil paused to consider that. "Two weeks," he insisted.

Mary laughed. "You drive a hard bargain. All right, two weeks. But no running off anymore, okay?"

"'K," Phil agreed.

"Now, hurry up and get your things back to where they're supposed to be before mom finds out," Mary said, aiming a kick in his direction. Phil hurried back up to his bedroom.

***

"Oh, Philip? You had a phone call."

Clarke paused in the process of hanging his jacket up in the closet. Maybe he shouldn't have spent quite so much time at the cafe. "Who from?" he inquired.

"Julie," his mother answered, emerging from the kitchen. "She said she had something to show you, if you were available."

If she’d only called the house, she probably didn’t think it was important. All the more reason he should know. Clarke quickly shrugged his jacket back on. "Gotcha. I'll be at her place then."

“You shouldn’t be at her beck and call," Mrs. Clarke protested. “That’s not how a relationship works.”

"Mom, we're not dating. And I’m going of my own free will," Clarke insisted. "Nothing wrong with helping people out, is there?"

His mother held up her hands. "No, no, I was just saying, that's all. But remember, it’s Thursday, a school night. And dinner will be in about an hour, around when your father gets home. Will you be back by then?"

"I'll call if not," Clarke assured.

"Please do," his mother said with a smile. "After all, sometimes I worry."

Clarke turned and headed back out of the house, reflecting briefly on what his mother had said. He wasn't really at the beck and call of others, was he? I mean, it's not like he jumped whenever someone snapped their fingers. He made sure to still take care of himself.

It was simply that doing something nice for someone sure beat out the alternatives. He knew that from experience too.

***

"Phil?" The voice was accompanied by a gentle knock at the door. "Are you busy?"

"Yes," Phil shouted out. "Go away."

"Too bad, I'm coming in." The door opened gradually, then Mary's head peered around the corner. She was immediately pinged between the eyes by a nerf ball.

"You spoiled my shot," Phil accused.

Mary spared a brief glance in the direction of the basketball hoop set up on the back of Phil's bedroom door. More than a couple inches away from her. "Oh, I think you knew exactly where that shot was headed," she accused. "Why are you still playing with that thing anyway?"

"It's something to do," Phil stated, throwing himself back on his bed. "You barge in here for a reason?"

"Yes. Mom said you got into trouble at your middle school today."

Phil turned so that he was facing away from the door. "So what if I did?"

He heard Mary lean against the doorframe. "We've been living in the area for less than a month now and this is the third time that's happened. It's not like you, Phil. You're usually a pretty outgoing person. When we get to a new place, you tend to make new friends pretty easily. But recently you've been spending a lot of time alone. What's wrong?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"It matters."

The two words were spoken so suddenly and with such intensity that Phil felt momentarily taken aback. As he turned to face his sister again he wondered again where she had obtained her authoritative attitude from; certainly a quality their parents didn't have in abundance.

After a pause, Phil finally shrugged, grabbing a pillow to hold onto. "Ah, this school I've ended up in has this 'alliance' is all," he grumbled, sitting up. "A group of kids who don't like me and keep causing me problems."

"Really," Mary replied slowly.

Phil nodded. "Can't go to teachers or anyone cuz then the kids'll just try to give it to me worse," Phil explained. "And other kids are starting to shun me cuz they don't want to get on the bad side of the alliance. I can't even seem to get on the GOOD side of these alliance guys cuz they won't tell me what their problem is with me. This is just a real screwed up school, Mary. I hope dad moves again soon."

"You know, you're probably not helping your own case," his sister pointed out. "This habit you've picked up of telling everyone to call you by your last name isn't the best way to form lasting friendships."

Phil shrugged. "We always leave towns before any 'lasting friendships' form anyway," he groused. "Besides, I know it's more than that here. If you ask me, everyone at this school is just a jerk."

"Stop that," Mary demanded, striding into the room and leaning against Phil’s bed.

"Stop what?" Phil asked, blinking up at her in surprise.

"Putting people down," Mary stated. "The Phil I grew up with didn't do that. He was someone who always managed to discover a little good in everything and everybody, and while he didn't have the chance to make many lifelong friends, he never made enemies! In fact, the way he could consistently leave a favourable impression on people was a very enviable quality. So I don't want to see that Phil get replaced by someone who constantly whines and bitches about how terrible things are. News flash, bro... you keep that up and it's going to turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy!”

"You don't understand," Phil objected. "These alliance guys won't accept me! There's nothing I can do about the situation."

"Never say never," Mary countered. She pushed herself back up. "Come on now, I'm sure there's something we can come up with if we put our heads together. For example, one person in this group of yours is probably the ringleader. Any idea who?"

"Nope," said Phil sullenly. "What, should I find out who it is and beat 'em up sometime?"

"No," Mary replied. "Because that's not your style. But I'll tell you one thing you could try doing with this person."