So, uh... Hi. Hello. Buongiorno. Saluton. Ja ja, das ist fantastisch. Ore wa ochinchin ga daaaaaisuki nandayo (not really though, that's just filthy).

Author here, back in action(?). No, I'm not dead - life happened and forced me to deal with it, thus three whole months without new chapters! Ahahahahaha...haaaaa. Yep. Still, hiatus was not such a bad thing after all - even if I lost all the readers I managed to somewhat interest, in exchange I got lots of time to think the story through and flesh it out properly, so upcoming chapters wouldn't be half-baked and will be the best I can offer to the readers with my meh-ish (nonexistent) experience in writing. Forecast promises at least three new chapters filled with , and , being posted today~tomorrow.

Anyway, I digress. The main reason for me coming out in the open like this and breaking the immersion of the reader is to announce the following: we've got a new rubric! Lo and behold, Status Log editions *clapclapclap*. Don't worry, it's nothing mandatory - these are somewhat of a milestones and reminders for me, and extra tidbits and trivia for those who may be interested.

SLs shall added every five chapters (ch. 5,5 ; 10,5 ; 15,5...) and will contain the following:

1) my rants (^see above^) / (v or below v)

2) status board of the main and other important characters

3) trivia about the world / system / characters that might, or might not be divulged later in the story (think of Death Note 's intermissions with pages containing DN usage rules that weren't covered in the show itself but were interesting nonetheless)

Here and now I want to readily admit that IB is a wish fulfillment novel. Not in the way you thought just now though: there are and will be no self-congratulatory self inserts in this fine establishment. This is a wish fulfillment in terms of "the ideal isekai novel with ideal main lead that I always wanted, but nobody ever did, so I'll just make it myself". I'm not going to say this is true to every such novel, but I'll go out on a limb and say that about 80% have one of the following or any combination of the following:

a) a perverted teen that sticks his weeny into everything that moves or doesn't move, regardless of willingness or lack thereof from the object of dicking (both smut novels and "normal" novels)

b) dense protag that is completely, painfully oblivious

c) wimpy protag that can't do jack without his battle harem

d) xianxia protag that murders everything that moves or doesn't move, regardless of willingness or lack thereof from the object of di...victimizing

e) protag that constantly hides his abilities for no reason

f) protag that constantly flashes his abilities for no reason

g) self-righteous prick that "protects the weak" (total strangers) for free (why) because he's a "hero" (stop) with a great Sense of Justice (please) and he was told by complete strangers that they are good, that guy's bad, go kill him for Greater Good, and protag does so with no questions asked (end the torment, it hurts)

h) protags that have the audacity to cry about wanting go back home where they were no-names with no future, when they are in a WORLD OF FUCKING MAGIC AND INFINITE POSSIBILITIES, D*SNE* SENDS CEACE&DECIST

i) Gary Stu 's and other types of invincible protags who were zeros in previous lives, accomplished nothing, yet now they get everything and even more right from the start without even having to wait a single moment and will be forever undefeated

j) Getting too carried away with slice of life. It's not a good sign when protag spends 40 chapters stating his desire to sell turnips, only to finally sell them and... That's it. Nothing happens, he keeps selling turnips for 15 more chapters before moving on. I admit, it was entertaining in a sick perverted way, but ridiculous nonetheless

I could go on with that for quite a while, but you most likely can finish the list yourself - I highly doubt IB is your first isekai novel.

For so, so long I wanted something different. How about we stray from the "hero" path? Not on the "villain" path, no. Let's make a character who, due to long list of misfortunes, frustrations and painful experiences became an embittered asshole who looks out only for himself. Not good, not evil, not a complete scumbag with no standards - just an opportunistic prick that will gladly take the chance to abandon his previous life and cut loose in the new one. One with an unfair advantage over everyone else, but at the same time someone who will never be able to pull out twin cursed swords and annihilate an army of 10000 by himself in less than an hour; or jump 40 meters into the air, knock a dragon down with a punch and stick a piledriver up its anus. Someone who constantly schemes, has his plans foiled by a random misfortune but somehow scrambles back up every time and survives (or does he?) - that's what I'm all for.

And so IB started slowly forming, sprouting new details here and there, getting something added, something thrown away, something rewritten on the fly, changing all the following events. Something like Valkyrie Profile 's A, B and C endings. None of them are set in stone yet, so even I have no damn idea where the poor Bastard will end up in the finale. I guess we'll find out if we ever reach the end of the rabbit bum.

Funkalicious Trivia Time!

I) Although there are plenty hidden stats, HP value simply doesn't exist in the world of . In other words, even a dragon can be killed in one shot. Good luck getting through tough as nails dragon scales and a meter thick layer of meat, fat and muscles.

II) Mana exists in various forms - internal mana stored in body, external mana wafting through the air not much unlike gasses, crystallized mana in gems, etc.. Therefore, if the caster knows how, he can continue spellcasting uninhibited even when he hits zero MP.

III) Magicians aren't exactly rare, but neither are they common. It is one of the world's rules that only those talented from birth are capable of successfully learning magic - those without such blessing can waste their entire life's worth and not manage to master even the most basic of spells. It is also considered normal that usable magical schools and elements are predetermined, unchangeable and often hereditary - leading to particular families of magicians voluntary inbreed in fear of diluting their blood.

IV) Image training exists, but due to lack of imagination, visualization techniques and difficulties in travelling for the sake of sightseeing it isn't very widespread. Which leads to many a magician chanting arias aloud when they can simply silently cast the spell by imagining the process and the result they envision. The more ambitious and complex the effect is, the more mana it drains and the more concentration it requires.

V) Envious gaze doesn't just steal numbers, it steals person's experiences, victories, failures and muscle memory concerning the chosen skill. Therefore, even if the same skill of the same level is stolen twice, it doesn't necessarily mean that the charge was wasted (e.g.: you stole Martial arts lvl.3 from a muay thai specialist and Martial arts lvl.2 from a taekwondo practitioner. Your Martial arts shall remain at lvl.3, but you will gain techniques and insight that you haven't before). Memories themselves aren't erased or tampered with, victim shall not notice anything until they try to perform an action and suddenly realize they can't do it anymore (e.g.: archer taking up a bow and having abysmally low accuracy). Given a very prolonged time and conscious effort, it is possible to re-learn stolen skill and slowly get to the point where it got taken. However, that isn't the case for magic (as the affinity being tied to the skill and being taken away) and some racial skills person or creature was born with (e.g.: vampire bat that lost its Vampirism can still suck blood, but will get zero sustenance from it and will shortly die of hunger). Alternatively, acquired skills activate "forgotten" knowledge stored in host's subconsciousness, categorize it and make it usable and easy to recall at any given moment.

VI) Levels - base level of a person is hidden and slightly influences overall growth. Base level increases with various experiences a person encounters in his life - a person leading a peaceful mundane life or wholeheartedly giving himself to mastering just one craft will never reach a high level. A brave seafarer or a wandering mercenary with no affiliation on the other hand will get to see many places, meet different people, experience various types of grief and happiness, steeling his mind and body in the process.

Classes have a hard cap of lvl.50 and are considered mastered when they hit it, providing a bigger increase in corresponding stats.

Skills either have no levels or can be trained to lvl.10. The latter ones are either considered mastered and receive a slight increase in efficiency when they reached the cap, or transform into entirely different skill altogether.

Synergy skills require two or more primary skills to be learned and don't have levels.

VIII) There will be a lot of skills and I solemnly pledge to never make any of them gamebreakingly imbalanced with no way of countering or add skills for the sake of adding skills (like a particular greedy black ogre) and don't sweep them under the rug of obscurity afterwards, never to see the light of day again. A little too ambitious, but this entire shebang already got out of hand, so who cares - pile it on.

IX) Since I'm not paid to do this (thank god), the next time I feel I can't currently provide a proper chapter with a proper plot - I wouldn't force it and will temporarily freeze the whole thing once again to thoroughly think everything through just like this time, before actually getting to writing. Might take roughly the same time as the first break, so sorry about that.

X) Making the entire storytelling in first person was a deliberate choice - should speak droves about the character. Brazenly stolen this move from the series of books about a cowardly and sly commissar that I adore so much. As for name choices and any other similarities - they are pure coincidences, don't look too deep into that, it just somehow happened. This mode of narration shall be saved until the bitter end and will only be switched when need arises.

Name

John Norman

Race

Human

Age

27

Classes

Venomous Serpent lvl.14, Scholar lvl.3, Swindler lvl.7, Traveler lvl.1, Tamer lvl.2, Bandit lvl.6

Status Skills

AGI Up lvl.1

Battle Skills

Royal Fencing lvl.1, Sword Arts lvl.2, Dagger Arts lvl.3, Assassination Arts lvl.8, Martial Arts lvl.6, Throw lvl.1, Dirty Fighting lvl.2

Sensory Skills

Envious Gaze⋆, Knowledge Hungry lvl.3, Sense Hostility lvl.5, Detect Presence lvl.2

Stealth Skills

Falsification⋆, Silent Steps lvl.4, Pickpocket lvl.6

Movement Skills

Wall Climbing⋆

Magic Skills

Light Magic lvl.1, Earth Magic lvl.4

Recovery Skills

Draconic Bloodline⋆, Vampirism⋆

Production Skills

Tailor lvl.2, Herbalism lvl.7

Social Skills

Cunning lvl.4, Deceit lvl.3, Public Speech lvl.1, Brainwashing lvl.1, Intimidate lvl.6, Leader of the Pack lvl.1, Howl lvl.1, Calculated Kindness⋆

Resistances

Despair Immunity, Confusion Immunity, Poison Resistance

Titles

Second Son, Arrogant, Literature Buff, Stoic Teacher, Otherworlder, Sarcastic Prick

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