《Secondary Reincarnation: Awakened Gods - A D&D Inspired Isekai》Chapter 5.9: A Ranger, Wizard, Fighter, and Cleric Walk Into a Bar...
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I look over in the direction of the yelling, catching sight of a short, burly man, about four feet tall, stomping out of the local pub, slamming the door behind him as he leaves. He has autumn orange hair, cut into a mohawk, that extends into a ponytail behind his head. The sides of his face and chin are covered with a long, braided beard, like a Jewish payot, which extends past his shoulders. Dressed in mail, he holds a giant hammer in his bulging arms, a round buckler hanging from his back. He turns, looking in our direction, and for a moment, I can see his beady black eyes narrow further. But then, his face breaks out into a grin.
“Wizard! Looks like you survived after all! Pwahaha!” he laughs, tromping our way, and when he arrives, he throws Kraig a pat on the back, sending the latter flying to the ground. “Who’s yer friend?”
“F-friend? Who? Mine? O-oh, oh right, h-he’s-”
Before Kraig can reply, I hear the sound of Lila’s voice interrupt. “Grunoc, figured we’d find you here. How’s the ale?”
“Tastes like piss, Ma’am.”
“Well, I did warn my hometown contained nothing close to dwarven mead, Grunoc.”
“True. But there are minimum standards, Ma’am. Fer instance-” Suddenly, I notice Grunoc stop mid-sentence, a dark cloud cast over his face. Following his line of sight, I spot my father, stepping forward from behind Lila.
“Hello, Grunoc,” my father begins politely, “Long time no see, old friend.”
“You got some nerve, you bastard,” the dwarf growls, “acting all chummy with me, after what you did.”
“You’re right. You have a right to be angry. I didn’t explain myself very well back then.”
“You didn’t explain yerself at all, ‘Paladin’,” Grunoc says, spitting the last word with venom in his voice.
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“And for that, I’m truly sorry.”
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to!”
“Lila has already accepted my deepest contrition.”
“S-she what-?!” the dwarf exclaims in shock, swerving to face Lila, questioning in his eyes. The latter just offers a hapless smile and a shrug. Seeing this, Grunoc pivots back, rage untempered. “Well, I haven’t,” he snaps, “Four years we were together, bound by the blood we shed, and one day you just decide to snake away in the middle of the night like a rat without a sound. We don’t hear from you fer six years. Not a peep. And then what happens? You contact us out of the blue, with the gall to ask ‘us’ fer a favor. Well, I don’t know why we dwarves bother to mine the mountains anymore. We should just use yer stones instead!”
“Circumstances prevented me from-”
“Fuck yer circumstances, Paladin, and fuck you!” Grunoc exclaims, drawing his hammer. Then, without warning, he suddenly lunges, swinging his weapon at my father. Just as quickly, however, a blade appears in my father’s hand, and he parries the blow, causing the hammer to hit pavement instead. The dwarf, not deterred in the slightest, raises his weapon again and reengages, and before long, the two are neck deep in a full out brawl.
“Daddy!” I exclaim, and I’m about to rush forward when an arm on my shoulder abruptly pulls me back. Turning, I see that it’s Lila.
“Leave them be,” she says.
“But, but shouldn’t we stop them? Someone could get hurt!”
“Look closer, Samuel. The fight might seem like one of passion, but both parties are still very much in control of their faculties.” Then with a shrug, Lila adds, “‘Men’, typical. Rather speak with fists than words.”
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“I-I’m a man too,” Kraig chimes in, and turning, I see that the teen has pointed a finger at himself.
In reply, Lila offers him a smile, patting him on the shoulder. “Of course you are, Kraig,” she says.
“M-Miss Lila, what’s with the p-pity in your eyes then?!” Kraig bemoans, wrapping his arms around his legs as he drops into a squat.
“Don’t feel bad, Kraig,” I say, placing a hand on the boy’s head, “you’re only sixteen. That’s still technically two years from manhood anyways.”
“I, I’m t-t-twenty-four!”
“Oh.”
“N-not you too, S-Sam!” He covers his face, turning red, “O-oh, just, just kill me now.”
“I can arrange that,” a female voice suddenly interjects from above, and I look up just in time to catch a figure leaping off the nearby rooftop, landing softly onto the pavement.
A… leopard? A talking leopard?
Before I can fully comprehend what I’m seeing, the figure rushes in my direction, pushes me out of the way, then jumps forward at Lila, wrapping her in a tight embrace. “My Lila! Oh, I’ve missed you!”
“Coco,” Lila greets, “Where have you been?”
“Just sunbathing on the rooftops,” Coco replies, still busy rubbing her face against Lila’s. Then spotting the ongoing battle between Grunoc and my father, she points and says, “Ick. That didn’t take long.”
“Like old times,” Lila replies, and I can see the hint of a smile tugging on her lips. Then she frees herself of Coco, puts two fingers in her mouth and lets out a shrill whistle. “Grunoc, enough fooling around! Time to get down to business!”
And just like that, the conflict ends. Grunoc stomps over, my father in tow. Both are a little scruffed, neither injured. The dwarf offers Lila a slight bow, while giving Coco a glare. The latter replies with a hiss, but before another fight can break out, my father speaks.
Looking to each member present, he says, “I know we did not leave on the best of terms, but we once fought side-by-side, and it warms my heart still to see all of you here, willing to answer my call-”
“Well, I couldn’t really let Kraig come alone. Can you imagine?” Lila interjects.
“I’m only here because Lila’s here,” Coco shrugs.
“I just wanted to punch you in the face meself,” Grunoc admits.
My father coughs. “Ahem. Well, regardless of the reason, I am truly happy at our reunion. As I told Lila, this is an extremely sensitive matter, and I can think of no one more I can trust than the four of you. Thank you.”
Upon my father’s words, I see Lila abruptly turn around, her hand clutching her chest. A moment later, she lets out a cough and in a commanding tone says, “No promises, Thomas, but we’ll see what we can do for your boy.”
“I’ll be counting on you then, Lila,” my father says with a smile.
I look to the crowd. A duplicitous woman. A skittish wizard. A temperamental dwarf. And a leopard. These are the folks who will be training me.
This should be… interesting.
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