“Three monks have no water!”

Uh, she knows this one, it's roughly the same as ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’.

“Three people one heart; yellow earth become gold.”

Umm, how obscure... Oh that’s right, one of her father’s favourites - as long as we’re unified we can achieve anything...

Brother Feng and Brother Cheng - who Little Xiao found for her only two days ago - are arguing using chengyu proverbs. Instead of fists for once.

Fen Ling is following along, yet not fully following along. It isn’t her fault, the hidden meanings behind the pithy sayings often escape her... To be honest, she isn’t entirely sure they don't escape her two brothers as well!

Thus, it is with narrowed eyes that she observes their toing and froing ... All the while, trying to read their respective red faces to see who is winning and who is losing...

Oh the topic, which she has half-forgotten, is whether Brother Fatty should form a trio with them or not. Thereby becoming the third elder in the new secret sect club that Brother Cheng is starting.

Of course he should! She has, so he should too. It is simple, but she hasn’t stuck her oar in just yet. The debate has been too much fun to watch... It is just like old times... She sighs contentedly as the argument begins to heat up. Not long now...

“Three wrongs don’t make a right!”

Hah! That's settled it, Brother Feng is losing for sure, making some random rubbish up. Utter nonsense! She makes a mental note to remember that one to mention many many times again later...

To be fair, there aren't a lot of sayings left with the word “three” in them. Brother Cheng has one more though.

“Three thoughts and after act.”

Bam! That is the sesame seeds in the tong sui soup! She can't help but clap, bouncing up and down on her woven cane chair. In this context, it can be construed as saying Brother Feng’s third opinion is as equally valuable to the other two. Thus necessary to the group. Nicely played...

Li Feng has lost the war of words, yet is still unwilling.

“What do you want me for?”

“You’re family,” is what Fen Ling would have said. Brother Cheng though, would never sound so soppy.

“I don’t really need a reason, but how about the Thundering Tortoise Trio - would sound stupid as a duo.”

“You could say twins?”

“Little Sister Ling and I are nothing like twins though.”

“How about twosome?” Brother Cheng is still clutching at straws, maybe he is making a scarecrow?

“Thundering Tortoise Twosome sounds awesome.”

“No, twosome only sounds like the word awesome...” Brother Cheng smirks, he has won long ago and these are all just side dishes at his victory feast.

“But I’m too weak. I’m still tier-three,” Li-ge-ge stares forlornly at his feet or the tips of his toes at least.

Finally, though they've come to the crux of it. “You’re already tier-four after starting two years later. And little princess over there is tier-five - I’ll only hold you back.”

Now, Fen Ling smirks too, she is indeed tier-five. Mid-level tier-five as well... Sadly, she isn’t a princess though...

“Nonsense!” Brother Cheng snorts. “And I naturally have a solution for that.”

“Really you can raise my tier? What are you a god?”

“Compared to you, yes...” Jian Cheng jokes before becoming serious again... And suddenly secretive too. He covers half his mouth with his cupped right hand.

“Check all the doors for eavesdroppers... Then gather around...” he hisses. “What I’m about to reveal to you is a life and death secret, one that you must swear a heavenly oath never to tell.”

Big Brother Cheng is so deadly serious it sends a shiver down her spine. Such fun, she cannot wait. She crosses her heart and hopes to die on the spot.

She also crosses her legs and sits down with the other two forming a triangle shape. Ooh, secrets time! She loves it, sooo much...

For some reason Brother Feng is trying to appear aloof and disinterested.... And failing badly - why does he even bother?

Now Jian Cheng points at him.

“Remember that breathing cultivation technique? The one I taught you the first day I arrived?”

“Of course, it’s actually pretty decent.”

“It’s much better than decent, it’s the legendary guixigong.”

Brother Feng snorts. ” The mythical guixigong you mean - merely an old wives’ tale, that doesn’t actually exist...”

“Brother Cheng, can I learn the greasy-gong too.”

“Of course, it’s part of our Thundering Tortoise Sect heritage.”

Satisfied she isn’t missing out, Fen Ling sits back hoping her brothers are about to fight again. But, this time, they disappoint her.

Brother Feng seems content to sit there and smirk like some smarmy Buddha, while Brother Cheng is soon caught up in telling a bizarre story.

And what a tall tale it is! Fen Ling and Li Feng can only sit there in stunned silence for the next three incense sticks of time...

What a fantastic tale! So strange and convoluted, yet still awesome - it truly had something for everyone...

She can’t help but ask, “Brother Cheng, what’s the main moral of that story?”

“What? It was all the truth...”

“Ah, I see... Tell the truth... What always? Even when--”

“No, not tell the truth, that story all actually happened to me!”

“Sure it did. That story is pure poppycock,” Brother Feng scoffs. “If it’s not, prove it!”

Fen Ling shrinks back, Brother Cheng is suddenly upset at her now. Why? What did she do?

She listened really carefully. She especially liked the bit about the lightning sword the most... Or maybe the cute little creature...

Humph, she will side with Brother Feng from now on, that would show him.

“Exactly, prove it!” she demands. “Show us your cute little pet!”

But now Brother Feng turns on her too.

“How will him having a rat prove anything? Other than his cave is unclean or that he’s some crazy beggar carrying around a flea-infested rodent?”

“Humph! Brother Cheng said it was cute. If it’s not cute then naturally we’ll know he was lying!”

Fatty is up on his feet now, towering above the two of them.

“Ignore her esteemed Elder Fushi, just pull something, anything at all, out of all that hot air you’ve been talking!”

Whoomp! Suddenly a whole suit of armour appears out of nowhere. Fen Ling recognises it too... It is Jian Cheng’s father’s pride and joy, a precious souvenir of his soldiering days... They used to take turns playing dress up in it... Why has he suddenly bequeathed it to Brother Cheng?

Above her Brother Feng’s eyes nearly fall out of his head and land in her lap. His mouth gapes and gulps like one of those catfish they used to catch, until finally a phrase comes out. “Spatial ring!”

Spatial ring? Ooh, wasn’t the cute little pet supposed to be hiding inside the spatial ring?

“He-he. Can Brother Cheng show me the ins and outs of his spatial ring?”

“Only if you join the Thundering Tortoise Sect?

“Will I too get a spatial ring?”

“You can use this one sometimes.”

“He-he, Brother Cheng is so upright and generous, who wouldn’t be honoured to be in his righteous sect?

Suddenly all smiles, Brother Feng is now sitting down beside them again, crossing his legs in the lotus position like some lucky buddha statue. “Naturally this one always intended to join... May I inspect our precious sect treasure?”

Feng Ling is flabbergasted. She can't believe Fatty’s sudden about turn. All that kerfuffle and fuss from beforehand... And apparently all it takes to turn things around the other way is some shiny new toy... Boys are soo pathetic...

“No, wait! Bring out the cute little creature out first!”