3

I wolf down the hotdog in a couple quick bites and wash it down with a swig of warm beer. The amount of food tossed out of this restaurant is incredible.

“Piss of raccoon,” I scoff.

It looks at me with apathy and pulls a hefty piece of broccoli from the dumpster we share, then carries it to a puddle and proceeds to wash it.

I swing out and continue my jog. The familiar crinkling anxiety of being in the city, surrounded by high rises is reassuring of my position in the world. I speed up. Having forgotten to get my pills from Qiara, and not wanting to ask Kaloaan to by my anymore, I’m stuck with the ever worsening tension ache that practically hums in my neck and shoulder. I speed up again. Maybe if I run faster, I’ll give my adrenalin something to do besides ruining my rubble of a day.

You do this to yourself you know. You’re toxic not to other people, but also to yourself. You’ve already tried this and it went terribly. You screwed yourself over and ended up in the military. Remember that? The time you participated in a military assault and didn’t kill a single person?

Huh, if I had killed anybody you’d be beating me up even worse wouldn’t you? So shut up evil voice in my head or whatever your name is. Shut up and piss off because I haven’t got time for you right now.

You’ve got time for everything. You’ve got no obligations in your crappy life.

Crappy? Do you have any idea who we are?

Yeah, a scraggly street dog who repeats his mistakes over and over again. Like this one.

It will be different this time.

Will it? She practically told us to kill ourselves last time.

She was angry! And justifiably, but she’s Tauren. She’s got the kindest, most forgiving heart in the world. She won’t stay mad at me. She doesn’t have to be nice at me, but she won’t be furious. Besides, I don’t care if she’s mad at me, I just need to be sure she’s alive.

Why? What’s she ever done for you?

Don’t even try that bullshit, she’s one of my best friends. She was on Qiara’s kill list and seeing Qiara’s efficiency I’d assume that it won’t take her long. Besides, Zorikan and Kaloaan are still alive, so she must’ve started with Tauren.

Now you’re the one talking negative.

Pragmatic. There’s a difference.

Not most of the time. Usually you just muse the two because the world is a dark hurricane that you deserve to live in.

Hey, shut the hell up ok? I don’t like you, so piss of. And honestly… woahhh, is that…?

I see him and slow to a halt.

Salif.

He sees me, stops and blinks.

My hand twitches in uncertainty.

And then his face creases into a smile. “Kallix! Long time,” he strides forward and grips my hand. I shake it gratefully.

“Yeah, too long.” Salif’s gained weight, but he looks happier. Not sure why he isn’t unleashing every cuss he knows.

“Yeah so much’s happened! So, I married my girlfriend of six months, you remember Katarina?”

I nod, eagerly. No bloody idea who the hell she is though.

“Yeah, and she’s two months pregnant!”

“Woah! That’s amazing!”

“Isn’t it? Ol’ Salif’s about to be a father!” he exclaims giddily.

“I can barely imagine. Have you thought of a name yet?” I ask him. I tread carefully with my words, sure that he’s going to lash out at me in an instant.

“Well… if it’s a boy, I’m thinking of either Yuri, or Tomblon. If it’s a girl, I’ll just let Kataria de-”

The eardrum shattering sound of a gunshot sends me diving behind a shamble of trashcans, jarring my elbow in the fall. Salif’s body crumples like a sandbag into my line of vision. His glazed over eyes meet mine.

“Idiot! That’s the wrong one!”

Shit.

I flatten myself against the asphalt as another bullet tears through the feeble metal of the trashcan, chipping the ground next to me.

Reload time.

I scramble forwards, pushing the cans aside, stepping over Salif and dive-roll into an alley. I’ve escaped. I’m safe.

And Salif’s dead.

Salif… my life-long friend.

Dead.

My fault… isn’t it?

Yeah, pretty much.

How many’s that?... how many’ve you’re friends’re dead because of you? You’re worse than the killer. You know that? The bystander… no, the cause of the death actually. You killed him. You killed Salif.

I stop in my tracks and look over my shoulder.

I shouldn’t have.

His lifeless eyes stare up into the sky as the pool of dark blood widens around his skull.

God damnit, what have I done?

I faulter, hitting a drainage pipe. I grab onto it for support as a whirlwind of stars pummel my cortex.

Move!

Move you idiot! Tauren might still be alive!

Right, lead Blitz and Javvak to her then, huh?

Run. Pump those wiry ass legs! Move! Move! Move!

The drill sergeant in my mind takes over, barreling me forwards before Blitz, likely the sniper, can readjust his position to shoot me down.

C’mon, faster!

Wait. Think a bit. They’re looking for you on the streets. Just get off the damn streets.

I scuttle up the nearest building and continue to flee. There’s no sniper vantage point from here. I’m on the vantage point. Calm down. Chill a bit. Tauren might be alive. You need to check on her. You need to… that’s her house. Her new house, it’s there, remember? Remember from when you went… zombie?

Yeah, and she told me that she never wanted to see me again in her life. It’s just a check in. I’ll be in and out before she notices. Stop… no…

I force myself to blink out images of Salif.

I speed up, concentrating my brain power on my agility. Rooftop to rooftop I glide, until I reach hers, a story higher than the others, and launch myself at the window. Against my prediction, its open, and I tumble through.

A soft, fuzzy carpet stops my concussion.

“Wh…” she gasps.

“Hey,” I mutter, sliding a hand through my hair. My eyes glance through the ornate arrangement of her dressers, desk, cupboards, walk in closet, mirrors, bookshelves and massive bed, with a sprawling purple blanket across it. Finally, they rest on her dark, grass green eyes, her fiery ginger hair flowing around her pale face in the background.

A thousand different words appear to froth at her lips as her brain struggles to choose which one should exit first. “You… you held my gaze,” she comments.

“What?” now I’m the confused one.

She pulls on a large, worn maroon shirt. As it slides over her, I realize that she had only been wearing a bra. “You looked me in the eye. That’s… improvement.”

My mouth opens, then closes. What am I supposed to say to that?

“I’m sorry,” she continues, “about last time. I was kind of drunk… and really upset. I wanted to come see you, I really did…”

“It’s ok,” I stutter, clambering to my feet. “I deserved it. All of it. Every single damn word.”

“No,” she says, moving towards me. It’s a single, softly spoken word, with such unsolicited power in it. She steps forwards and hugs me, and I melt in her soft embrace. “I am really sorry, Kallix.”

I hug her back. Her warm, calm, milky hug is contrasted by my sharp, edgy, fierce squeeze. “I missed you,” I say into her ear.

“It’s ok,” she reassures. “It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok…”

Like a tidal wave, emotions erupt from my soul and tears break from my eyelid. “Salif… salif’s… dead…”

“What?” she asks, shocked but not pulling away.

“The assassins… they were coming for me, but they got him instead. It’s my fault. I came here to see… if you were ok,”

She pulls me to her bed, and we sit down. She lays my head in her lap and strokes my tangled, dirty hair. “Assassins?” she asks.

“Qiara,” I manage to choke out the cursed name. Should I tell her that she’s on the list as well.”

“Oh,” she breathes. “Yeah, them. That’s not your fault Kallix. Qiara’s assassins are ruthless, cold blooded, drones. They’ll kill anything that’s on their list.”

“Do… do you know that…”

“That I’m on her list? Yeah of course. Twice she tried, but I’ve noticed her patterns. Her hitmen always come when you’re out, doing something. They never come to your home. I’ve already lost four of my guards to them, so I just stopped leaving the house. Everything is brought to me, and I just stay inside. I’ve got everything I need here. It’s safe.”

I wrap my arms around her again. “I’m so goddamn sorry… for when I left you…”

“Don’t be,” she replies. “You had enough on your own plate, it was unfair of me to approach you. Plus, it shaped me. It taught me a valuable lesson.”

Another tear drips onto her long shirt, covering her soft, pale thighs that I rest on.

“Hey, cheer up, Kal. Stay with me a bit, give me some company. I’ve been getting lonely as of late. It’ll be fun.”

I sniff and sit up. I look at her deep green eyes, small nose and tiny scar on her lower lip, and sigh. “Ok,” I breathe.