Keeping a journal is such an annoying pain, but the head priest says I must as he thinks it will help drain the evil emotions out of me. The man is an uptight ass.

I giggled a little as I began reading and sniffled.

Nobody really likes me here. I think they heard of my mother and what I’m like. I wish I didn’t have such violent tendencies--I scare myself sometimes. But there’s a nice man here who I’m squiring for named Caerwyn! He looks and acts like a girl, but he’s very kind to me and I can tell he likes me, too. I feel—pretty appreciative of that.

I took a deep breath with tears in my eyes as I kept reading with an incredibly heavy heart and feelings of joy at the same time.

He was such a funny boy.

He described his chores around the temple as so boring that they made time stand still and he described the boys at the temple as annoying fools—saying that a dog he knew was better and more intelligent company than them.

However, he described prayer as peaceful and soothing and loved going to Mass with the other boys. He wrote that there was something enlightening and special about it that made him feel, at least in the moment, that he was a part of a group and accepted. I understood that well.

He described being bled by the priests periodically for consistently getting into fights with the other boys and spewing hateful language at them.

It hurt, but I guess I deserved it. It does calm me down, at least. He had written. I wiped a tear from my eye as I read on.

Eventually, I came upon the entry in which he wrote about leaving the temple to go rescue me.

Caerwyn is a strange man. He says we are going to set out tomorrow to rescue an ugly moth princess from giants. I guess he feels sorry for her. He seems so passionate about it though! I really don’t mind going, either. Living in the temple day-by-day is really boring. I guess it’ll be nice to see a woman again, even if she is ugly.

I laughed a little at that. There was a time when I may have taken offense, but I had come to accept that most humans just didn’t think moths attractive, and Terry was always so humorous and kind about stating how he didn’t find us attractive that I couldn’t be offended.

You know, meeting her… There’s something so sweet about her. I’ve never met a woman like that—least of all mother. I like her; I like her a lot. I think she needs a friend like I do, too. I’m gonna try to do something out of the ordinary for me! I’m gonna be really nice to her and befriend her! I hope she ends up staying at the temple with us!

My tears soaked that page thoroughly as I grinned and clapped a hand to my mouth with joy and sadness.

I had to take a break from reading for a moment after I pored over that entry. I clasped the journal close to my heart with love for a moment, and then I continued while consistently dabbing tears away from my eyes.

She was thinking about committing suicide today… She had her hand on a knife. Luckily I stopped her by telling her that I’d be with her. I don’t think this about many people, but I think the world would be a considerably worse place without a lovely lady like her in it. I can tell that she has so much to give to the world, and I want to help her give the world the things that it needs. I think I found a place where I feel comfortable and happy, and it’s at her side.

I couldn’t read anymore. My eyes were in too much pain from crying and my heart in too much pain from aching. I looked up and thought to myself, thank you for saving my life.

__

Paris informed me that the lustful god was approaching Nui with the intent to take it with all the armies he had conquered in tow. He told me he would be in Nui in about a week in which we would prepare and come up with a plan. For today, however, everyone just wanted me to relax.

Later that day, I took the time to talk to both Paul and Meridi quietly. I had things to give them.

First I called Paul to my quarters. I sat on my bed and Paul sat next to me.

“What is it you wished to speak of, My Lady?” Paul queried.

I hung my head and looked upon the lily his daughter had given me that I held in my lap. “I met someone while I was in the realm of desire…”

“Oh? Who?” Paul responded curiously.

I took a deep breath. “Two wonderful children named Clarence and Mary…”

Paul looked at me in shock.

He tried to say something, but the words caught in his throat.

I had their adorable little faces in my mind to guide me to say what Paul needed to hear. “They were amazing Paul, and they loved you so much. But they worry about you.”

Paul swallowed a lump in his throat as his eyes turned glassy and he listened to me intently.

“They say you blame yourself for many things that weren’t your fault. They say you blame yourself to this day for things that happened long ago. They want you to know that you’re the strongest and best daddy in the world, and they want you to stop blaming yourself for their deaths and your wife leaving. They miss how you read to them before bed and how you hugged them when they cried…” I sobbed and thought of my own Daddy while saying it and how much I missed him.

Paul was blinking away tears as he focused on me while I told him of his beautiful children. I gave him the lily and said, “Mary wants you to have that and she wants you to know that she’ll always be watching over you along with Clarence.”

Paul cried gentle tears befitting that of an old gentleman and sniffled as he closed his eyes and gave himself a moment to think of his children. He took a deep breath, gently placed the lily behind his ear, and hugged me close. “Thank you, Mimi… Those children were the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish I could tell them just how much I loved them, too. I was never good at expressing how beloved they were to me.”

“They know it, Paul. They could feel it.” I assured him.

It felt so good to give that sweet old man closure on his children and peace of mind about them.

__

I found Meridi in the city next as night descended upon us. The silken moth woman was in a crowd—speaking to humans and moths alike excitedly.

She turned to me when she saw me coming and rushed over to me—nearly hopping with happiness. “Mimi! Mimi!”

I giggled a little as she shook my shoulders. “What is it?”

“H-h-h-humans are so interesting! I never guessed that they could be anything but loathsome, but I was wrong! T-t-t-their religion, their art, their wines and beer! It’s all so interesting and different from ours! I love it!” Meridi exclaimed.

I smiled and looked at the crowd of humans and moths in joy. I had the sword her brother had given me hidden behind my back and I asked her, “can you join me away from the crowd for a moment? I have something to tell you.”

Meridi nodded and I led her away to an isolated bench near a torch which fireflies were attracted to.

“W-w-w-what is it you wanted to talk about?” Meridi wondered.

I cleared my throat. “I met someone in the realm of desire.”

Meridi scratched her cheek. “W-w-who?”

“Your brother. He wanted you to know that he approves of whatever you do with your life, and you have his full support. Any disapproval he had toward you was merely because he loved you so much and worried about you. The life of a man…” I took a deep breath, trying my hardest not to cry once again, to no avail. “The life of a man is very dangerous.”

Meridi hugged me close and whispered, “t-t-thank you for telling me that. I always wanted his approval. Did he seem… Well? W-w-was he content?”

I nodded vigorously. “He was very content.”

Meridi sighed happily. “I-I-I needed to hear that…”

I disengaged from our hug and revealed the sword to her. “He said you always wanted this sword, but he never had a chance to give it to you.”

Meridi snatched the sword with a happy grin. “Ah! H-h-he was always keeping this from me! He must… He must truly approve if he finally found me worthy enough to give it to me. Without his support, who knows where I’d be? Probably just another wife and mother…”

I frowned at that. “Some of us would kill to be a mother.”

Meridi patted my shoulder. “I know, I’m sorry. I should pick my words more carefully. B-b-but… This is wonderful Mimi. Thank you so much.”

Meridi held the blade of the sword flat on her hands with a downward smile. “It means so much to hear his last words and know how much he loved me. We m-m-m-must always keep the memory of our loved ones alive, Mimi, by setting time aside to just remember them and how wonderful they were. How meaningful their lives are, even in death.”

Truer words were never spoken.