I didn’t know what had happened to me for those weeks I acted so horribly leading up to and lasting through the visit of Paris’ family. I was selfish, cruel, and a girl I did not recognize. I treated all my friends poorly and didn’t wish to see them. They got on my nerves. Everything did.

Maybe I was sick of being good. Maybe I was sick of being so submissive. Maybe I just felt powerless and felt like treating the man I loved poorly because I knew I could.

Yes, he begged for me to come to bed with him and I refused him. He tried to hug me and I slipped away from his arms, he tried to kiss me and I teasingly pushed him away with a smirk. He thought I hated him because of his suggestion about the surrogate mother. And I thought that maybe I did, until he told me the day before his family came to visit, “Mimi, I don’t care what anyone thinks. Least of all my advisors. I won’t make love to or have children with any other woman. I only want you. I don’t care that that means the kingdom will have no heirs. Now please, quit acting so haughty. Quit avoiding me and turning your nose up at my affections. Quit locking yourself up in your quarters. The people of Nui have been missing you. Many have gotten an audience with me just to make sure you are okay.”

He begged me on his knees and it brought a malevolent smile to my face. “Do they? And how much do you miss me since I’ve been avoiding you?”

He looked up at me with pathetic and mewling tears. “More than anything. It’s so lonely without you. You know I have no friends.”

“Yes, I know…” I crossed my arms sarcastically.

“Do you still love me? You don’t hate me, do you?” Paris demanded.

Despite my bitter and evil mood, I said without hesitation, “I love you still. I don’t hate you, I just… I’ll play hostess for your family tomorrow like I promised. That should be enough to please you, shouldn’t it?”

I left for the door, but he grabbed me around the hips desperately. “Please forgive me. Please stay.”

I shook him off and left his quarters in a huff. What a pathetic man.

__

It was very hot when Paris’ family arrived the next day. It was that muggy, Potenheim weather and the only saving grace was that the pristine blue sky was unblanketed by any clouds.I loved how brightly the sun shone when there were no clouds.

I stood next to Paris in front of the castle, looking down with a dour expression while we waited for his family to arrive. There was a poof and Paris’ family appeared in a ball of blue smoke. But it wasn’t just them.

My heart beat so quickly. I had butterflies in my stomach.

The world was spinning as I gazed upon him.

Caerwyn had come with them.

Despite the fact that Paris was right next to me, I ran up to Caerwyn and excitedly squealed. The world fell away, and it was just me and the only knight who had ridden for miles to come to my rescue. “Caerwyn!”

I nearly threw myself into his arms, but I remembered his vows and the fact that I was married before I did.

He looked upon me with no passion or excitement. He merely bowed politely. “It is good to see you, My Lady.”

Was this truly the same Caerwyn? The same man who had nearly pinned me against a building so he could steal a kiss? Where had his passion gone? Why was he treating me like a stranger?

Paris followed me and hastily jerked me backwards, away from both Caerwyn and his family who were standing right next to the templar.

I remembered myself and I curtsied to Paris’ family and Caerwyn while Paris did a bow.

Afterward, Paris asked, “you know this man?”

I nodded. “This is the man who rescued me. The templar. Why are you here, Caerwyn?”

“Leon asked me to come make sure you were being treated well as King Torr promised you would be. Are you well, My Lady?” Caerwyn asked ineffectually. He used no flattering nicknames for me like he had when we first met.

My heart dropped. Was he no longer in love with me? The thought was too horrifying to think of. I nodded sadly while looking down and choking back tears. “I am well…”

Paris shook Caerwyn’s hand. “Thank you for rescuing her. She’s… She’s a dream come true.”

Caerwyn merely nodded.

King Torr looked around curiously at the wonderful state of repair the kingdom was in. “You have done surprisingly good work, it seems, Paris.”

Paris nodded and pulled me close. I just wanted out of his embrace and into Caerwyn’s, but for the sake of his family, I faked it and wrapped my arms around him. “I couldn’t have done it without Mimi. Thank you for marrying me to her.”

King Torr turned his nose up at that. This marriage was meant to be a joke, and he meant Paris to fail at being a king, but Paris had proved him wrong. I couldn’t help but take joy in that. He was a good king, with or without me. I just gave him the confidence to be so successful at it.

A very tall, blond man was looking at me intently. I assumed he must be Peter.

The middle brother was there as well. He was a a slight and short man, and very pretty! Almost as pretty as Caerwyn!

The moth who had warped them to Nui was a female moth who was most likely originally from Nui. She had gorgeous red fur that I was very jealous of and clipped wings just like Meridi and all other moth mages who were slaves.

I curtsied again, this time lowly to his family. “It is wonderful to meet you all…”

“She is very polite for a beast,” Peter announced and helped me up from my curtsy while kissing my hand.

I flinched when his lips lingered overlong and trembled when his eyes unabashedly lingered on my chest.

He said to Paris, pretending to be joking, “I am not sure you deserve this woman, even if she is a beast!”

Paris said firmly, “she is not a beast, she is my wife. I will not have you insult her, even if you are joking.”

“Yes, Peter, let’s be polite,” the middle brother agreed. He bowed to me politely and also kissed my hand. I wasn’t so disgusted by him. “It is good to meet you, My Lady, my name is Raul.”

“Good to meet you,” I replied dutifully. “I have a surprise for all of you! I cooked you all dinner! I can set an extra plate for Caerwyn so he can eat with us!”

Caerwyn bowed slightly again. “Thank you, My Lady.”

__

Caerwyn was quiet at the private dining table, as was I. My eyes lingered upon him often, but he kept his head down and his eyes upon his food.

I served Paris’ family quickly and efficiently. Peter was ever staring at me, which brought to mind that old incident with my sister and made me quiver in fear.

“I must say again that I am shocked at how good a job you are doing running this kingdom, Paris. I think it has done you good to give you hard work to do and to get you out of the castle. You have grown into a fine king and an honorable man.” King Torr said almost jealously and reluctantly. “This wife of yours has certainly helped you in that.”

All their eyes were upon me but for Raul’s and Caerwyn’s.

“Your beast—your wife—is a vision of loveliness.” Peter said and seized my wrist and kissed it as I served him a special moth dish.

Paris’ arms tensed, ready to intervene if Peter tried anything, but he let me go in a moment. After I was done serving them, I hurried to my seat beside Paris and Caerwyn and kept my head down while Paris and his family made idle conversation.

The conversation was bland and formal—a telling sign that the family did not get along.

Eventually, Peter said, “you are quiet, templar. Why don’t you tell us the story of your rescue of the queen?”

Caerwyn met eyes with Peter, and then he turned to me.

And he gave himself away in that moment.

His eyes narrowed intensely and longingly as he gazed upon me but for a moment, and he began, “a princess from another kingdom came to our temple and begged me to rescue a poor moth princess who had been being kept in the giants’ castle for years. I couldn’t… I couldn’t just leave her there. Nobody else was helping her. If I hadn’t we would have all been robbed of this lovely woman.”

I blushed and kept my head down as he related the whole story.

__

I had a sleepless night. I slept separately from Paris and could think of nothing else but Caerwyn’s hands on my hips and his lips on mine.

I knew where his quarters were. Paris had been overly kind to me of late and trusted me enough not to leave a guard outside my door while we were sleeping apart. He also allowed me to come and go as I pleased at night without the guards asking questions.

I wrote Caerwyn a letter and slipped it under the door to his quarters for the night before going back to bed. I made the excuse to the guards posted outside my quarters that I was having a sleepless night and thought a walk would clear my head.

I was possessed during those weeks by the spirit of the vain fifteen-year-old girl I used to be. I had missed out on that time in my life and wanted anything to live those years that that girl had missed out upon. God forgive me for that.

I will write what happened later.