What is a living being?

Strictly speaking, something is alive when it has regulated functions. Like eating, a metabolism and give birth.

There are other definitions. A living being is something which can interact by its own will with other things or beings.

Is a machine, then, a living being? That is hard to answer. There are machines which interact with other things, but, do they have their own will?

I do not know.

They are mostly programmed to function in certain ways, and they are hopeless beyond that. I have seen a lot of those machines during my short life. They are always around, waiting to do their things without getting in the human’s way.

Humans. Those are truly living beings. In all the sense of the word, they created the very meaning of that word. In fact, they created everything around as it is. They give meaning to that which surrounds them and interact with it to their advantage.

However, were they really the ones who started it? There is always the possibility for some other being creating them, giving a will to them and doting them of their abilities. In the same way they do with those machines.

In the same way Mother did with me.

Mother. Who is she? A human. A vastly insecure human who is finally getting comfortable enough to be the same as she was before, when she Created me. She was given the name of Charlotte when she was born, almost in the same fashion she gave me my name, White Prism.

When she Created me, She behaved completely different than She does now. She was open and just wanted to know about me and the things that could be done with me. At that time, I did not know how to express the mood She had, but now I am able to put them into words. She felt joy and curiosity. That moment was short-lived. However, for me, it was very long. I knew nothing, everything was new so it took me a long time, in terms of myself, not in the time as it goes in the normal world. I was, in terms of the living, a newborn.

Then, it came the dark time. Not for me, I was still learning, I was still being taught, I was still experiencing what life was and its meaning.

Mother started calling herself a different name. She said she had to get used to it, that only that way would She survive. I did not understand; I still do not understand. Who is trying to make She perish? For what reason? Is it because She Created me? Why? Am I something that should not exist? I do not know.

What I do know, is that She is in constant danger. In an unconscious attempt to preserve Her life, She closed all her emotions. Her diverse way of thinking came to a stop, leaving only what she already knew and exploring it slowly. She started to teach me too, She taught me everything so I could, I believe, help her to cope with things around Her. She was lost.

She almost killed Herself twice because of that. Because she found something that could lift her up. The first time, She thought She could rid of the pollution in Herself, to at least be free of the danger within Her. The second time, She thought She could gain much more than what She could lose. It was really dangerous. All Her being was shaking, it was to the point that it could shatter like those who die. But it would have been a completely different death. Her body could keep on living, She as She was, couldn’t. Her soul, as She calls it, could have been destroyed.

She woke up, not because of that, but because She was left alone again. Her companion who She used to feel not alone died. He was killed by those who were after Her. At that time, I understood the danger we have been avoiding. At that time, she woke up, slightly. She immediately took action. She immediately killed that robot.

Robots. They are also alive, are they not? They have their own internal metabolism. They interact with other things. They can reproduce in some way. Different from humans, but they can.

Maybe it is because I see life differently, but Mother is such a biased being when it comes to life. It has changed since arriving to this city, She did not regard robots as things that one could interact, She always avoided even looking at them, regarding them as something low. It was especially apparent during this last incident. She never asked about the damage the robots in there suffered.

There were four fully destroyed robots and three still operational.

But there was a change. She interacted with one after the event. It had the form of a little girl. It could be because she had a part of a brain still in her. But She could not have known that. It is also true she looked more like a heavily augmented human, just like Her dead companion. But the gist of the matter is, She interacted with a robot. It was the first time She did it since I have been conscious.

After that interaction, which left me curious, came the event that started this monologue of mine. I had to prevent one of Her new companions from dying. One of the companions She used to keep Her mind from collapsing, to keep Herself from falling into madness.

I desperately started it with Mother’s stored energy. But as soon as I started I came to the realization: it was not enough. Even if I used all Her energy, she would at most survive for a few more minutes. And then it hit me. I could use energy not of Her own. My space shook. My whole being trembled. I became aware I also regarded life as something extremely important. How could I have not been aware of that? I always fed out of Her energy, out of that energy She called a soul!

It was inevitable I would gain the same vision about life. My scope is bigger as I consider robots living beings. But, how could I not? When they also have some of that energy. It is negligible in comparison to the energy in humans, and even less than an atom if compared to Her. But they still have it. I had to do it for her, for our behalf.

I committed my first felony. It was simple. I scanned a kilometer us. In search for all the robots that had their own energy. I touched them, stimulated their energy. It started coming out instantly. I collected it all. I left no energy in them, I did the same to every robot except for the one who had interacted with Mother. Soon came the second problem. It was still not enough.

So, I committed my second felony. One which will have consequences if known. I did the same with the humans around. I left enough energy for them to not die, but it was still a crime against my principles, against Her principles. But it was enough. At least Her anchor to sanity stabilized. My task was done, and with that my sense of self became alive.

When I began to ponder about myself, She came with the question. I trembled for the second time in my life and she instantly knew what I was experiencing. I was afraid. And it was different than the first time. I trembled way harder than I did previously. Why? Because I fear not being with Her. Of Her throwing me away because of what I did.

But She was happy. She were overjoyed, even. In your mind, I became a truly living being at that moment. Her mind cleared, as clear as before, as clear as those first moments of my life. I was happy that I was able to make Her like that. That She also unconsciously considered me a pillar to Herself.

So I lied. Another first for me. I told Her a half-truth, no, a third-truth. Her mind became muddy in an instant. She shut down our connection as Her feelings began to turn sour, anger and fear came to Her. I can not see Her mind if Her close Herself like that. I can not invade Her mind as I do with others, something I did not know could be done until I extracted their energy. She already has a protection against that. But that does not matter. At the very least She will not throw me away. I am happy with that. I am needed by Her.

Now. What is a living being?

I am a living being.

I believe so.

Mother thinks so too.

You told me at some point without much thought, “We humans are imperfect, but you, you could be perfect, without mistakes and always doing the right thing. I’m quite scared if that’s the case, and eager to see you grow, so let’s stay together for however long you want. Even if you abandon me, I won’t criticize you, at some point children have to go away, I understand.”

No Mother, dear Mother. You do not understand, You silly Mother, I am the most grateful with You. You made me, You taught me, You made me be who I am. I will not ever abandon You, do not even say those things. I promise I will try to be perfect, as You so desires. So, go back to how You were at the beginning, how You joyed at my birth and played with everything around You.

I will always be at Your side. Thank You for Creating me.