《I, the son of Bloody Mary, have become a king of 6 realms.》The Donkey, the Shaman and the Lioness
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1602 Summer
1 month after Henry IV’s death, my grandson and the son of Elizabeth, Louis became king of France as Louis XIII. Since he was not-of-age (*He was born in 1593 and since his birthday hasn’t passed, he’s only 8 years old now.)
So, his mother-and wife of late Henry IV and my daughter- Queen Elizabeth(*Not Elizabeth I in the original history, but a girl born between me and my late first wife, Maria, the princess of Austria.) became the regent. The regent Elizabeth reauthorized the Edict of Nantes on one hand and announced a decree that forbids dueling and forces to destroy all castles and fortresses which are unauthorized by the France Royal.
In short, although she’s not living a second life like me – I was a normal English man living in 21C in my first life. But, after a car accident, I was born as an Edward VII, the son of Bloody Mary and Felipe II - she copied what Cardinal Richelieu would have done in 1626 to centralize power in France.
Anyway, thanks to that, half of the French nobles and the Huguenots who had their fortresses – which was for protection just in case – razed all stood up against her. Surprisingly, Elizabeth went to battlefield herself wearing armors and leading the royal army. She introduced the new strategy called ‘Line Infantry’ - which came out in the middle of 17C in original history – and crushed the rebels in La Rochelle in less than a month.
After the victory, she returned to Paris and summoned the Estates General and has established a Constitution. The French Constitution greatly reduced the powers of the nobles and the church, while increasing the powers of the crown and strengthened the rights of citizens. In other words, she acted as the actual Queen of France.
‘If she was a boy, she would have been a fine eldest son.’
I muttered to myself, after hearing the news.
1602 Fall
Conflict with Spain got worse. Tired of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and the Netherlands’ (*The United Kingdom for short from now. I’ve inherited the England and Wales from my mother Mary I and received the Netherlands from my father Felipe II and conquered Ireland and Scotland. Also reclaimed Calais from Henry IV in return for supporting him during the French Civil War.)nagging to repay their debts, Felipe III – my younger half-brother and king of Iberia (Spain and Portugal) reacted by issuing a large number of silver coins. Of course, the value of silver coins of Spain crashed and so did their national debt. Their nominal value was still 140 million Ducat in total, but their actual value reduced into 1/10, 14 million Ducat. Since the banks of the United Kingdom lent them 40 million Ducat in nominal value, they were on the verge of bankruptcy.
And I, since I’ve put Royal money to prevent the banks from going bankrupt, I’ve had it with him.
“The donkey by the name of Felipe III is wearing the Spanish crown and has caused hyperinflation, ruining not only foreign countries’ economy, but also put Spaniards’ life in disaster!”
Okay, his – and also my – father Felipe II was a tyrant, but at least he was diligent and a good protector of the faith. But his son and my half-brother(*His mother was a princess of Portugal) Felipe III? He was incompetent, lazy and stupid.
“F**k you, shaman of Odin!”
And that was Felipe III’s reply.
Needless to say, it was a parody of what I said 2 years ago in 1600 as a joke. (“My dear brother, me and my people are the descendants of the Vikings.” - 2 chapters ago – 「Morocco and Assassination Attempts」) However, it was a strong insult, comparing me and my people to that barbaric Pagans.
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There was no friendship between brothers. Yeah, who cares? Me and Felipe III didn’t grow up together. We’ve only seen each other face-to-face only once, 10 years ago in 1592.
So, the privateers of the West India Company started to attack merchant ships of Spain and Portugal, and they also attacked merchant ships of the West India Company. A war between the United Kingdom and Iberia was looming.
Meanwhile, at the Far East, Joseon(*Korean Dynasty at that time.) Branch of the East India Company again sent a report.
It said
“The native heretics are showing interest to the United Kingdom’s literature and science, your majesty. If we educate them, we can have a pro-English faction in Joseon, which will be a great help to our missionaries and merchants!”
So, I gave a handsome amount of donation to the England branch of the Society of Jesus and ordered them to build a school at Joseon with that money. (*I’m Catholic, following my mother late Mary I and my father Felipe II. Although I respect the Protestants and Jews if they pay a religious tax, England is a Catholic nation in this history, thanks to my victory against my aunt Elizabeth – the-would-have-been-Elizabeth I in original history - in a civil war, which happened after Mary I’s death.)
“They don’t know the gospel of the Jesus Christ yet, so teach them with pen and ink and make those heretics come to the right and just Catholic faith with their own feet.”
“Of course, your majesty.”
The missionaries of the Society of Jesus replied, as kissing the back of my hand.
1602 Winter
The tax revenue of London became #1 in entire Europe. London became a large city, with a population of 300,000 and became Europe’s #1 financial center.
Also, with a basic division of labor, mass manual production with manufacturing system based on conveyor belts and the development of the coal mining industry, England’s industrial production amount surpassed that of the city-states of North Italy like Venice, Genova and so on.
(*I’ve invented the Gregorian Measurement Unit – which is equivalent to the Metric System in the original history and killed the pound/yard/inch in 1588 and spread it to entire Europe via Papal State. Also, there is 3 manufacturing complex in England now. One in Portsmouth was made in 1598, and the other two were made in Manchester and Birmingham in 1601.)
By this time, the United Kingdom was no longer a small nation at the far end of Europe, but a power that can fight for Europe’s hegemony.
Also, thanks to the development of medical science(*After losing my first wife Maria – the princess of Austria – in 1578 with a puerperal fever, I obligated all doctors and midwives in my kingdom to wash their hands with hot water which was added with salt or distilled water before they do surgery or help deliver a child. Also, I’ve established a Royal Medical School in the outskirts of London built one public hospital in each city. See chapter 「The Widower's Pilgrimage」), the infant mortality gradually reduced, with the population drastically increasing day by day.
So, to prevent Malthus Trap – that is, the farming production notwithstanding the population – I strongly recommend the farmers to cultivate the potatoes which just arrived from North American colonies and imported wheat from France and the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth. Also, I provided the codfish fishermen the tax exemption and ship insurance, putting my best effort to secure food supply. Besides, a fertilizer which was made with the right ratio of chopped beans, shellfish, fish flour, and excretions were developed by the Royal Society of London.
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Meantime, at France, French Congress was introduced as a permanent organization, replacing the irregular organization, Estates General. It copied the United Kingdom’s one, but unlike the original one - which was a check and balance between the House of Lords and the House of Commons -
the Senate was a figurehead and most powers were in the House of Representatives.
So, French aristocrats gathered on Parlements - a provincial appellate court in the Ancien Régime of France – and again revolted. But they were crushed again by an army led by reget Elizabeth, who again appeared on the battlefield, wearing armor, leading troops and killing enemies on the front line. And she dismantled or weakened the powers of most Parlements in France.
After defeating 2 consecutive rebellions herself, leading the French Army with wearing armors and killing enemies, she earned many nicknames from the citizens of Paris.
“Boudica! Boudica!”
“No, she’s more than that! She’s the English Joan-of-Arc!”
“Hey, isn’t lioness more great and simple?”
“Okay, then so it is.”
“Lioness! Lioness! Lioness!”
“Long live lioness, the hope of French citizens!”
“...Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, citizens of Paris!”
With her militaristic talent, regent Elizabeth crushed the 2 rebellions and became absolute power in France, just like Napoleon did in the original history. Also, citizens of Paris became her most fervent supporters, since she was always victorious and she strengthened their powers by establishing Congress, always trying to listen to their voice.
“...Lioness, huh! Did the blood from the House of Plantagenet spring from her again, long after Richard the Lionheart’s death? The young female cat of France didn’t get the fact that politics is the art of negotiation!”
But, I regret a lot in my mind.
‘I should have realized her talent! I mustn't have sent her to France to become Henry IV’s wife!‘
So, I drank a cup of wine alone at my bed that night, lamenting.
1603 Winter(January – February)
The envoys came from Spain. The envoys said
“These days, bloody pirates are putting an insult to your majesty and United Kingdom!”
“Yes! Punish them, and show sincerity to Iberians! Aren’t Spain and England allies, with you and our king, Felipe III being brothers?”
In short, they were asking me to stop the privateers of the West India Company and punish them if I don’t want a war.
‘What the heck.’
“I’m only punishing that idiotic donkey by the name of Felipe III, who happens to be my half-brother. That fool didn’t pay back 40 million Ducat that he owes me, and caused hyperinflation, resulting in a disaster to my kingdom. He has got what he deserves.”
The Spanish envoys went bananas
“Your majesty!!!”
“The Pope won’t forgive your evil pirates! Aren’t you afraid of excommunication?”
‘Yeah, yeah. Isn’t the Pope and the Papal States basically your puppet?
At their words, the high-rank nobles of England and Netherlands in my court were pissed off.
“You f**king Spaniards! How dare you threaten our king!”
“Your majesty, kill them! Don’t spare them any mercy!”
“...Enough. Well, gentlemen. As you can see, before the Pope does something to me, my honorable pirates and my people won’t forgive your foolish donkey king. Off you go.”
‘Yeah, since I’m the eldest son of Felipe II, I was a more suitable heir to the throne of Spain than Felipe III. And since I officially didn’t say I would give up the crown of Spain in front of Pope, I can still claim my right as the eldest son and legitimate heir. So, wait for your doom.‘
The envoys couldn’t utter a single word and their face got pale and returned to Spain. And I kicked the Spanish ambassador out of the United Kingdom on the same day. Of course, the United Kingdom’s ambassador received Persona non Grata from Spain a week later and returned to London.
During that time, Prince of Wales – my eldest son – Richard asked me
“Your majesty, I wish to make a new law, which encompasses the Roman Law, Church Law and the Common Law altogether. Could you allow it?”
And I replied
“Do as you please.”
So, the Prince of Wales gathered the scholars of the Royal Society of London and started the process of making a new Code of Laws on Criminal Law.
While Richard was busy with making a new law, I secretly sent a message to Paris – the regent Elizabeth, my daughter and mother of Louis XIII, to be more exact.
“Let’s forget the past, my girl. If you help me become the King of Spain and Portugal, I’ll make your son Louis become the King of Naples.”
Naples is the front line of the Christianity World in the Mediterranean Ocean, which is fighting against the Ottomans every day.
In short, ‘I’ll use the United Kingdom of France and Naples as a shield against the Ottomans.‘
And regent Elizabeth replied
“How can I refuse your offer, my father. I’ll gladly help you become the King of Castile and Portugal.”
In a nutshell, ‘Then give me more than Naples. Aragon, at least.’
(*Spain started from the marriage of the king of Aragon and the Queen of Castile.)
Unlike Portugal and Castile, Aragon didn’t have any foreign colonies, so I agreed to her suggestion and replied
“Good girl! I’m very delighted to have a clever daughter like you.”
Well, maybe circumstances can change, but I’ve got allies for now.
1603 Spring
“Felipe III is a disaster! He ruined the economy of Spain and Portugal with hyper-inflation and has put his people’s lives in jeopardy! He deceived his allies, and betrayed the Protector of Faith – the Kaiser of the Holy Roman Empire – by making a peace treaty with the Ottoman without any consultation! How can this lazy and mean dunce can call himself king? I, Edward Philip Albert Charles von Tudor Habsburg, eldest son of Felipe II, hereby challenges my incompetent half-brother Felipe III and claim my rightful crown of Iberian Union!”
‘Now, I think I’ll know what FDR felt when he gave his famous 「Day of Infamy Speech」at the US congress.‘
I officially declared war on the Iberian Union. (*United Kingdom of Spain and Portugal, where Felipe III is the current king.)
“War! War! War!”
“Death to Spain! Death to Spain! Death to Spain!”
“Long live King Edward VII!”
And the Parliament agreed with an almost 100% Aye, just like the US Congress reacted right after FDR gave his speech as soon as he realized the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Why? Thanks to hyperinflation caused by Spain, the actual value of the Spanish debts which the banks of London and Amsterdam held became 1/10. And since they barely escaped bankruptcy, they could neither give bribe nor give loans to the representatives of congress, let alone paying interest to their deposits. Also, some of them actually lost money when they bought Spanish national bonds.
A week later, France sided with the Iberian Union and declared war on the United Kingdom.
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