Vision fading to black as I fall over unconscious

My eyes shoot open as pain overloads my senses AAAAAAHH

where am I? who is this? what happened?

I look around to get my bearings, scorched earth, night sky, the smell of roasted flesh and blood

Pain erupts throughout my entire body and I cough blood. This isn’t good.

Mind still groggy A blue box flashes in front of my face. Notifications? What is it this time Identify?

We updated our privacy policy, lots of things changed

What? didn't I turn you off?

‘’Status’’

Name: Sucksuke

Level: 60

Str: 125 (+60)

Sta: 59 (+4.64)

Race: Beastkin - Cat

Class: Assassin

Spd: 101 (+33.33)

Agi: 42 (+15.2)

HP: 77% aliveness

MP: --

End: 50 (+8)

Vit: 47 (+10.11)

Unspent points: 5

Status: Confused/ in pain

Int: 40 (-8.14)

Wis: 33 (-3.72)

Skills

Titles

Cheat Skill: Succ lv 32

Restore lvl 21/50

Otherworlder

a kitty

Accuracy lvl 7/10

Item box lvl 11/20

The unchanging

Cheat skill holder

Night vision lvl 5/15

Identify, the greatest of all

Sucker

Main character

Catlike

Bad luck

Clutz

hold E to heal

Martial arts

cut me some slack

Pyrophobia

Hand to claw combat lvl 5/10

Sharp claws MAX

Superhuman strength

Snowball warrior

Swordbreaker style lvl 6/10

Summon sword style lvl 3/10

Dungeon diver

Cross-dresser

Party members

Baboon king

One who overcame calamity

Every Side Character - level 50 cardboard mage

Illuminate - level 39 light elf guide

Superhuman speed

That's... new, there were a lot more things last time. did they combine? the whole layout is different now

''hey identify, tell me what changed''

Some skills merged, things got removed or updated and due to popular demand, identify became more user-friendly. find out the rest on your own

sigh as helpful and encouraging as always identify

I lean back to rest on my ar- flop

h-hey what the? looking down I notice the lack of a certain grasping appendage with only a nub of scorched flesh remaining

my mind sobers up instantly as I rotate the nub

whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwahtwahtwatwatwatwttttttt...

WHAT THE FLUFF HAPPENED TO MY ARM!?

the delayed shock and pain assaults my head...

Level up

clutching my head in the foetal position and breathing ragged breaths I try to assess the situation. ok. yes. I have one less arm. just breath in.. breathe out.

calm yourself, Su! this is no time to cry! think! think!

uuh. right! regeneration! ill have my arm back in no time! yup! I somewhat recall a message about limb regrowth so all is good. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ha.

deluding myself from the pain and anxiety I turn my focus back to what little arm I have left and wince a little. ok, maybe a lot.

scorched closed from the intense heat and missing halfway down the humerus, it kind of reminds me of a burnt marshmallow. I flail around my nub hoping that somehow speeds up the regeneration, scattering charred chunks of flesh in the process and bringing back a wave of pain

wiping the tears away with my only free hand I assess what I have left

most of my body has regenerated back into working order save for my right arm and the constant ringing in my ears. my armour has seen better days but otherwise intact somehow with the cloak already mostly done regenerating.

I look up to the black sky to notice shades of red and orange peek over the horizon. how long have I been asleep for anyway? if feels like months

I climb out of the crater with great difficulty, breath straining from the effort and fogging up the cold air.

I emerge into some sort of plains, fit with wide grassy swaths of land I can only see thanks to my night vision.

atchoo~

I'm lonely, cold and everything hurts ~growwllll~

oh great, I'm also hungry...

plopping down on the ground I take out some take out from my inventory and nibble it with small bites.

bleh is this burnt taste from the food or the taste of my mouth?

Nevertheless, brushing away my absent thoughts and fallen crumbs I get up and resume my search, search for what? Oh well, my search for something

Is that a something?

Off in the distance in contrast to the back sky is some sort of bright light, I should go there to investigate.

Arriving at the anomaly, like a neon sign of five different colours announcing its presence to the world, a magnificent rainbow looming overhead. Shielding my eyes from its radiance, It's almost too bright.

I wonder if there’s a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow? Uuuh~ that way! New destination left leg of the rainbow! Yes, I know exactly what I’m doing.

It is strange though, this rainbow seems like some sort of physical thing instead of the usual light refraction of normal rainbows. That and how it forking GLOWS. Is this a magical phenomenon? I guess everything is a magical phenomenon technically…

Oh, I’m here! Now what do we have mister rainbow, what sorts of secrets are you hiding from me?

At the end of the rainbow sits a huge animal twice my height and four times longer. its thick barrel-shaped body of pure muscle glisten white atop comparatively stubby legs and armoured in plate-like skin.

It looks towards me craning its thick neck, small beady eyes glaring on the sides of its rectangular head, short ears and a large brutal horn sitting atop its forehead.

…

A rhino?

Unicorn of the rainbow lvl 55 – uses light and illusion magic, 60% threat. Beware of its powerful body and pointy horn. A generally docile monster that consumes the rainbows for sustenance

UNICORN? YOU CALL THAT A FUNHOUSE UNICORN?

The ground rumbles as the beast get up. Blinding light shines from its horn as its nostril’s flair up

**RUMBLE RUMBLE**

Is this an earthquake or something?

The rainbow darkens at a visible rate before turning black and disappearing altogether. The only light source in the dead of night snuffed out while I’m face to face with a massive rhino…

The creature turns around with heavy steps.

Is it running away?

**RUMBLE RUBLE**

Huh?

The unicorn raises its short tail and unleashes a torrent of glowing rainbow goop at me

Next thing I know I'm flying through the night sky with a caved-in chest and puking my guts out

Why does this always happen to me?

The world turns blurry through my tears and the foul stench hits me a second time.

Status: New and improved! or not

Name: Sucksuke

Level: 61

Str: 125 (+60)

Sta: 59 (+4.64)

Race: Beastkin - Cat

Class: Assassin

Spd: 101 (+33.33)

Agi: 42 (+15.2)

HP: 35% aliveness

MP: --?

End: 50 (+8)

Vit: 47 (+10.11)

Unspent points: 10

Status: questioning life choices

Int: 40 (-8.14)

Wis: 33 (-3.72)

Skills

Titles

Cheat Skill: Succ lv 32

Restore lvl 21/50

Otherworlder

a kitty

Accuracy lvl 7/10

Item box lvl 11/20

The unchanging

Cheat skill holder

Night vision lvl 5/15

Identify, the greatest of all

Sucker

Main character

Catlike

Bad luck

Clutz

hold E to heal

Martial arts

cut me some slack

Pyrophobia

Hand to claw combat lvl 5/10

Sharp claws MAX

Superhuman strength

Snowball warrior

Swordbreaker style lvl 6/10

Summon sword style lvl 3/10

Dungeon diver

Cross-dresser

Party members

Baboon king

One who overcame calamity

Every Side Character - level 50 cardboard mage

Illuminate - level 39 light elf guide

Superhuman speed