I guess its Back to the mob killing tomorrow

I wake up with a muffled scream, I had the bright idea to sleep with a gag on, I know it might be weird, what, with every time I sleep I have to be naked and gag my mouth, but it’s a small price to pay for not alerting everything in the vicinity

Endurance up Regeneration levelled up

I chill out for a bit, waiting for my health to regen, waiting for my stamina to regen, waiting for my cloak to regen and waiting for my will to live to regen

I wash off all the blood, sweat and tears while in my room, I hope the water doesn’t seep through to the people downstairs,

at least my blood is all disappearing nicely as the redness gradually fades, sadly the bed is still shredded,

I need to abscond from here as fast as possible before they check the rooms and fine me for damages or worse

I set all my unspent points to agility since it hasn't gotten much love recently

goofing around for a few hours and equipping myself I'm all healed up

I go downstairs to eat breakfast, the mafia boss like innkeeper hands me the breakfast, a salty soup easy to digest, this time in a cup!

I take one last look at the come inn, reminiscing about the short time I had a good roof above my head and leave to the marketplace

I go around the marketplace buying all the stall food. since I can't cook I need to stock up on travelling food

Item box levelled up

My item box works in weird ways since all time is frozen inside, there is no gravity in my item box meaning I can utilize the entire 6x6m cube to store things,

after that spending spree, I am left with 1600 total copper to my name and an item box full of food and snacks,

I feel like a squirrel stocking up for winter and hiding his stash or something,

I head down the western road, the street is packed full of people and carriages, bumping into me, shoving me around and the occasional stray hand feeling me up

I squeeze my way through the crowd fending off creepy strangers until I arrive at a large gate with my chastity barely intact

the large gate is a set of two drop-down gates with the inner a made of some metal looking mesh and outer out of wood. it is wide enough to fit 3 carriages side by side with room to spare.

the crowds siphon into an orderly line through the 'encouragement' of the city guards.

I wait for my turn while looking around, there are merchants making rounds selling beverages, parties of adventurers, fancy carriages pulled by exotic creatures and all sorts of wacky races waiting.

it's finally my turn, I go up to the stone-faced guard with his spear blocking the way like one of those toll booths.

I stand in front of the guard looking confused. what do I say? do I ask first or wait for him? does he think is shady? I should ask him, the people behind me must be getting annoyed at how long im ta-

''guild card or id please'' he says tiredly

oh phew he asked first. I reach into my cloak, summoning my adventurer card from my inventory and hand it to the guard.

he looks at it then back at me. what?

he gives the card back and raises his spear ''next''

that was weird. I exit the city and continue along the dirt road

I walk for a bit and notice a faint presence behind me, I turn around and see a cardboard cut out of some anime girl standing there. am I hallucinating? is this a prank? what?

I walk closer to the cardboard cutout and it takes a step back. Okay. WHAT!

I hear a voice that seems to be coming from the direction of the anime girl,

it is neither feminine nor masculine, being the perfect blend of androgynous that you can make up whatever side it leans towards, the voice asks while quivering ‘’h-how d-d-do y-you do?’’

I look behind it to discover nothing, turn left and right, nothing. up? it's a clear sky

I think it came from this piece of cardboard, and by piece I mean, this cutout is literally one sheet of cardboard, practically making it 2D, at least it’s the relatively stronger cardboard that doesn’t bend from its own weight, oh right, it asked me a question

‘’are you following me?’’ ask uncertainly

the cardboard cutout raises its flat arms and shakes its head ‘’no no no, we must be g-going in the same direction, r-right? Are you a-also taking that adventurer quest?’’

ah~ so its an adventurer, ‘’yup, how about we introduce ourselves, my name is sucksuke but you can call me Su’’

the sheet of cardboard perks up and introduces itself, ‘’my name is 'every side character', but you can call me side, don’t question the name, my creator has certain. Eccentricities’’

pfffft, are you telling the truth? What kind of name is that? ‘’hey identify, what is this thing?’’ I whisper

Every Side Character, level 34 mage, cardboard golem, threat 27%, a golem made of cardboard, who in the right mind would make such a thing? Give such a thing that name, and make it have that character on it.

So it seems side wasn’t joking about that name since she has an anime girl printed on her, she must be a girl, right?

the anime girl is printed on both sides, the front showing the front and the back showing the back,

‘‘Hey side, are you a girl?’’

side jumps a little, ‘’g-golems d-don’t have genders, b-but my creator called me a girl, so yes’’

she seems a little jumpy, but considering she’s made of cardboard, you have the right to be scared of everything, or it could be due to how light she is

can I ask Identify what her stats are? ‘’hey identify, what are her stats?’’

That would be a breach of privacy, if you want to know, ask her yourself

Ugh, useless identify,

we continue walking along this road and I get to know a lot more about her,

apparently, she was made by a creator with some weird fetish and disgusting tastes, she had lots of ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ since almost every bit of furniture was a golem like her and every golem somehow developed a consciousness,

once her master found out all his furniture became golems and also conscious, he toned down his weirdness a little so it became a lot easier to live, not that golems are alive anyways,

after a while, her creator got sick of all the golems looking at him at every moment and commenting on what he does that he decided to kick them out with the excuse of ‘training’.

I don't blame him, the thought of hundreds of eyes constantly watching my every move and questioning my decisions sends a shiver down my spine

After side was finished talking about her backstory I had to talk about mine,

I made a lie about living in the forest since birth with an old master, the old man did jack all to teach me so I know pretty much nothing about the world and after he died, I went on a journey of self-discovery,

I pretty much ripped that from a lot of novels but it's not like people in this world understand anyways.

After following the ‘map’ for a while, we came upon a designated resting area,

side doesn't have any physical ability, she is a pure mage type build, focusing on int and wis, mainly using earth, wind and plant type magic. I wonder what increasing her def would do?

since water would get her soggy and fire is, well fire, along the way we encountered a bunch of goblins,

her wind attacks are pretty strong and she can make earth domes with mana, but sadly with her physiology she has almost 0 vit, end, spd, agi, and str,

on the plus side, she has huge int and wis, and being a golem means she has infinite stamina similar to undead,

since golems don’t need to sleep or eat, side will be on watch duty, but it's not like I trust you or anything! I take off my fur clothes, find a nice tree and gag my mouth and hands,

side looks over, head tilted but otherwise doesn't question a thing.

I go to bed while still being a little wary of her.

I feel like this might be a bit fun, having companions.

This status was written on cardboard Name: Sucksuke Level: 38 Race: Beastkin - Cat Class: Assassin HP: 1179.6/1179.6 MP: -- Str: 103 (+25.75) Sta: 58 (0) Spd: 48 (+4.8) Agi: 34 (+10.2) End: 45 (+4) Vit: 44 (+6.2) Int: 7 (-4.2) Wis: 4 (-2.4) Unspent points: 0 Skills Cheat skill: Succ lvl 16 Regeneration lvl 15/50 Sharp claws lvl max Item box lvl 6/20 Night vision lvl 4/15 Translate Identify Feline reflexes Mind resistance large Feline intuition Luck down Feline curiosity Titles Otherworlder Beastkin - Cat Character creator Cheat skill holder Sucker Main character One who stared into the abyss Scaredy cat Black cat Retard MEDIC! I NEED HEALING! cut me some slack Pyrophobia Superhuman strength