《My cheat skill sucks》LOTS OF PAIN Sucks
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‘’HEY GOD OLD MAN IM DONE~’’
HUH? WHAT? I fell asleep because you were taking too long. And that’s coming from me. When are you leaving and actually start your adventure? Ugh, Fine, so are you satisfied with your choices?
‘’Yup.’’ As ready as I’ll ever be
Very well, let’s begin the merging, It might hurt a bit or you will feel a little sick at first, but don’t worry it won’t last long *Clap*
My chest is starting to tingle, like pins and needles but not as noticeable, Huh that’s not what I imagine-aaand it’s getting worse, you just HAD to say it didn’t you?
The pain is steadily growing from the tingle as it spreads to my stomach
It’s now a warmth similar to sitting next to a heater as it crawls down my limbs.
From the warmth, it becomes a bonfire perfect for roasting marshmallows searing into my brain.
From the fire, It feels like someone’s pouring boiling forking oil all over my body.
unable to withstand it I collapse unto an unidentifiable puddle.
Am I getting cooked? The boiling oil is now a raging furnace, FAAAAAAROUTMAN WHAT A JOLLY EXPERIENCE. The puddle reacting to my pain convulse in choppy goo.
My body is liquefying right before my eyes as the lumps remaining melt, If it weren’t for the searing pain akin to skinny dipping in a volcano, I would be entranced at the rhythmic undulations that my liquefied body is doing. What do you call the waves made from your own body?
Slowly, my liquid body started to gather together again, to shape itself according to a design, my design, the one I spent a few hours on just before.
My liquid body is now solidifying in a sort of muddy consistency.
like a swarm of ants, the liquid gathers together to form my torso, stretching out, contorting, rolling up to make my arms and legs, lengthening the spine to create the tail, bones hardening as the muscles take shape.
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The furnace-like pain is cooled down. In another hour, I would be baked and fresh from the oven. I wonder how I’ve been able to see this whole time?
My body is mostly done now, And my respiratory system might start working anytime soo-*bleuughhh* *cough cough* Aand there it is! lungs are a go!
Waiting for the cookies to cool sure is taking a while, I can’t wait to have a bite!
Shaking my body like a dog to get all that liquid out of my hair and patting down a few places, My body is baked to perfection! I scoop up a bit of the liquid and have a taste. Tastes like steak but with the texture of ice cream, huh weird, wait a minute, Isn’t this cannibalism? Aren’t I technically eating my own scattered liquefied flesh?!
You might be thinking how I kept sane and coherent throughout that process of melting alive, thinking ‘how did he just sit there and not show a single emotion’ well the truth is…
THIRD POV
AAAAAGH FFUUUUUUUUN FFFUUUUUUNNNK YYOOUU GGOOOD AAAAAAAAAHHHH *other illegible screaming* AWHGERD *incoherent non-swearing* HAVINAJOLLYOLDTIME *screeching like a raptor* REEEEEEE *crying like a baby* WAAAAAAH *loud sobbing* WAAH AAH AAH
BACK TO FIRST POV
Aaaah that was relaxing~ Nothing like a nice hot dip in the spa.
OH! I need to say something to my friendly neighbourhood old man god!
‘’Hey old man!’’
What is it young’un?
‘’I WILL HONKING COME BACK HERE AFTER I GET STRONG ENOUGH AND RIP YOU A NEW SMILING FACE TO POUR BONKING MOLTEN LAVA CANDY AND RAINBOWS DOWN!!‘’
…
‘’tehee~” (≧ڡ≦)プ
…
OKAY, Now that that’s out of the way, time to explore my new body! Definitely not in a perverted way! No. Way. At. All. Nope
Ok, lets try the pain on this body, that whole melting fiasco didn’t count since my pain receptors weren’t even made yet so I have to do an actual pain test, Pinch oh it's not that bad I guess, I thought it would be a lot worse since I set the sensitivity so high- Here’s a table corner and some legos, You know what to do for a true pain test. Oh, please no. God, I beg you not that! STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE EXPECTING EYES.
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Sigh b-better toughen up and d-do i-it! I swing my leg all the way back like you would a Football, and punt the corner
*crackoom!* a bolt of lightning struck my body, Mind blank with the unbearable pain, I take a step back. Only to step onto the Lego pile conveniently close by,*BOOOM* another bolt of lightning struck my body as I fall over fainted. Directly hitting the table with my head and landing again on the Lego pile.
A crying, Sobbing mess of a young child lay clutching his legs for dear life, Shivering now and then, Ears folded and tail curled, Making him look like a ball in between a pile of legos and a table, Tears and snot making a puddle as he cries at all the injustices in the world, Specifically the ones brought to him and how cruel fate can be.
There is no god.
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