《Chimes》Chapter 20. It just needs to end

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Look! Watch right here. Watch right here, please. I'm going to turn my shower token into three. See my hand? Look at it. One. Two. Three! See? Three of them. Now, hold your token in your hand and I will do the same for you. Hold it really tight for me. Ready? One. Two. Three! Hey, yours disappeared?

~Lenoa.

I finally get to leave the Snowfell Palace like I originally planned. Lucky me.

I'm being sarcastic, just so you know. Kaloas's eyes were flashing he was jumping around Audris and everything. I was busy looking at the new identification card I had. It was a Mastal identification I had picked off from one of the dead soldiers a while back. I had a whole story too. How, so-and-so survived and I was one of the two left behind. I couldn't play the role, but Audris could. That was our way in once we docked. Audris planned on purchasing our ticket out. We even found armor and had it fixed. I helped plan it all out. The armor didn't quite fit Audris, but nothing fits when you need it. That would require good luck and I don't believe in that.

There's a building in a town nearby. You can't miss it. Sparks above me cause my eyes to flutter. A faulty neon sign for off-world transports looms over with a banner showing loyalty to the Mastals. Everyone knew the place in the distance was how you went off world to the space stations. People brush passed me and I try to stay close to Audris. I try not to slip on the salted sidewalks. I hope he saved enough money. Just so you know, I have money of my own. I may spend a lot, but it's not as bad as it looks. Other people make donations when they're not looking. I just like nice things once in a while. I didn't grow up with them.

Audris looks behind him. I had to start calling him Codel Neshne. That was his new name. I was just the girl he was seeing. Some prostitute he picked up for the week. I am definitely worth the whole week and so are you. Anyways, Kaloas was the fur coat he was paying me with along with cash. It was part of a packaged deal. The things I learned at the Mayor's tower did come in handy after all. Audris use to hunt Shasis for their fur. He let me know what I needed to know about pricing and skinning costs. It doesn't always have to make sense. It just has to be believable.

“Isn't that right Kaloas?”

Kaloas looks at me confused. I rarely see him nervous, but that last fight shook him up a little. I'll just be glad when we get to the right space station. My exhale is a little shaky.

I hope Calissa is ok. She's a local like us, even if she is a noble. We have to look out for each other. That's what makes it Elissa Moon. Every snowflake has its place and beauty. I could care less about the war or who wins. There is something Calissa told me and I didn't forget. Friends can only as be good as you allow them to be, so be one back if they make an effort. Not everyone tries. When people stop trying you start to notice.

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The glittering streets pass me in blurs. Neon flashes across my face hoping to lure me in each store. The sound and smell of burnt fuel cells from snow-mobiles. I pause at a new poster celebrating the good health of Calissa and how she was negotiating with the Mastals for her safe release. I knew it wasn't real, but the lie had to be maintained. Audris tugs me. He didn't want me to get too distracted.

“Don't let the flashy lights amuse you.”

“I'm not distracted. I'm just procrastinating because I'm scared. Trauma. Remember?” I jut in. The thought of Mastals doesn't help at all. Audris was dressed like one of their soldiers.

There is something I really want to get off my chest. I would love to tell someone, but I have no one to talk to about this. Calissa told me about the Shasis. She told me that some of them kill humans. I don't feel good about this. I'll just say it. Calissa and I figured out that Kaloas was the Shasi that killed Audris's wife. It was part of some massive plan to set everything in motion.

I still haven't told Audris. I think that it's part of the reason why I agreed to help him rescue her. I feel guilty for holding it secret. I don't want him to find out. I want him to find his fairy tale and avoid the hurt. I thought about giving him the truth though. I just wish there was a poem about how it would all turn out. If he would be ok and if he could move on and find love. At least he has a friend in me. Maybe he likes me too? Audris isn't my type. I'm pretty sure he's my neon love. Just some affection when you need it.

You come into this life hoping to find real love. Love is fun, glowing, and exciting and then you find yourself alone. Not of it feels real. Something is missing and that's all life was willing to give you. Somehow you still cherish those moments, when it felt like real love and wasn't. That's how it feels to live here. Look! Love! It has a glowing neon sign. Try it for a limited time only. If you understand this, you'll be a local in no time.

Besides, how can it be real between Audris and I? Once he finds out about Kaloas he'll never trust me again. You can't have love without trust. I can't abandon Kaloas. That's reality

I watch Audris talk with Kaloas. Kaloas looks back. I think I'm beginning to realize why he's been so quiet and what he thinks about. It must bother him being around Audris. It feels like life is one cold sequence. Over time, it grows into an icicle and falls onto your head. The neon shine from Kaloas coat leads the way. I smile wryly.

Kaloas doesn't even know what I know about him. I know what he did. He gave me the poem and didn't think I would decipher it. Calissa wasn't so easily fooled. I feel a little betrayed. Is keeping all of this a secret right? I.... don't know. Let's change the subject.

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Calissa used to tell me about her lover too. She told me about her secret poem, the one Seran spoke to her. It's hard to make sense of it and we often laughed about what we came up with. I think I know though. It ends kind of like a question. It's about finding love again like a real fairy tale. It's about not giving up. Both Audris and Calissa had to let go of someone they loved. Maybe they'll find it in each other.

I wanted to be a noble in a snow castle when I was little....

“Get over here. Quickly. Let's end this,” whispers Audris.

We pass by two Mastal soldiers who nod by the entrance to the building. The doors closes behind us and Audris walks to the desk. He hands his identification to a man at the counter. I hold my breath. The pricing marquee scrolls in green behind him. I grip to Audris's arm an act like I think he is so special.

The man checks a schedule and then quickly fills out a tax form. He wasn't paying too much attention. He hands the identification and form to Audris and points to a room across the way. I hear my footsteps and try to hide in the sound of a nearby fountain. The place wasn't too busy, but we came early. We had Kaloas scout around and check for scents a day ago when we arrived in town. He found a pilot who reeked of Mastal smell. That meant he was well connected and could easily help us pass at the space station entrance areas if we won him over. Kaloas knew what scents to look for once we got on the station. That's why he let me get captured on the torture ship. Calissa would surely be facing a similar threat.

Audris leads us to the assigned room. He knocks on the door. Another man answers it. He had the visors and gear of an off-world pilot. He looks around him and nods and closes the door behind us. It was time to negotiate a trip upward. I cross my fingers. I mean I'm a prostitute now. My new alias believes in luck.

Inside, the office a pilot sits with his legs tapping the inside of his desk. It was annoying. He had name tag on his desk and behind him was framed certificate. He was smiling about something.

“You do know the Mastals are about to be attacked. Rumors. It's inevitable.”

Audris and I look at each other. Audris speaks for us.

“That's why I have to make it back to the space station.”

The pilot scratches his chin.

“And which station is that?”

“The one that is here,” Audris points to some language he doesn't understand on his identification card. He knew it was a station by the numbers printed next to the words. He used to be a well-paid idiot.

The pilot looks at the identification card.

“You don't look like this man?”

I swallow.

Audris tries to stay calm.

I swallow again. Silence.

“They gave me the wrong picture.....”

The pilot looks up at Audris a little unsure. Audris stares back at him. The silence is brief.

“.....It's my brother's. There was a mix up because our same last name.”

The pilot pushes the identification card back.

“No complaints here. I'm just looking out for you. I really don't care as long as I get paid. It will cost you extra, though. It's not going to be a safe ride when the home world fleets show up – if they do show up. Eper station 47 is a risk for me.”

I watch as Audris hands the pilot a stack of cash, and then another. It made my heart sink a little. He saved a lot. I'm sure Calissa helped him. They were planning something together and I felt left out at times. It was Ok. I was holding a secret against Audris with Kaloas. I had no room to speak.

“He must really like you,” grins the pilot at me. He was admiring my body.

“It's a fur coat and free space ride for me. My client and I keep our love details private.”

“No worries. I see it enough around here,” reassures the pilot.

I narrow my eyes with slight disgust. It was all for pretend. The station might not be so easy once we got there. This pilot had a private contract with the Mastals to serve them. I saw his certificate on the wall. I'm not sure how far this would get us into the station once we got here, but our plan was starting to work out for the best. Audris gave him plenty extra.

Across from me, Kaloas pretends to be afraid and frantic. He nailed it. The story was we had his brother and sister hostage, so he would comply. I look at Kaloas and he looks at me. I feel the fur of my jacket covering up my tight clothing. It felt like Kaloas was in style and I was wearing him. We needed to get Kaloas into the station too. That's why he was my payment. I even brought a change of clothes.

I found it difficult not to laugh at myself. Audris was sweating it, but the pilot didn't seem to care. He just wanted us there without any problems.

Outside, a rush of cold hits my face and whistles against the space ships. I cover my face with my arm to make it easier to breath. We are led to the ship out back. The pilot goes a separate way to his control room. Our feet tinker as we climb the metal steps into the warm interior above.

Once we take our seats, I look at Audris. I shake his arm abruptly. He tries to ignore me.

“This is just one giant fairy tale isn't it, Audris?” I laugh.

“Quiet and let me rest. I paid good money for you, prostitute.”

Audris closes his eyes with relief. It was time to save Calissa.

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