My wife and I never had children of our own. I'm not sure if it would have happened, had she never died. I was always a little fearful one my children wouldn't get a companion. Sometimes you value being able to empathize. I just wanted my kids to be happy. That's partly why we never had any.

~Audris

I found myself at a booth. My arms begin to numb as I rest them on the counter. Someone here had contacts for rent or purchase so I could communicate with Kaloas. He's been following me around ever since Lenoa was caught trying to con the wrong person. I would normally have left her, but Kaloas was persistent. I don't really trust her. I trust Kaloas more. It would be nice to have a friend you could trust again.

I trusted my wife. It is best summed up by the lake we used to go to. We would hold onto each other and hope the other didn't lose their balance. When one is weak the other can hold them up. The favored part is, even if you fall you aren't alone. Try not to fall. Kaloas bites my pants and I shake him off my leg. He was trying to get me to pay attention.

“I'm working on it. The booth.”

Why am I here? Kaloas kept pawing at my feet when I walked, making it difficult. He got my jacket dirty with his paws. Very dirty. He really knew how to get under my skin. A quick learner. I can respect him for that. I'm only do this because he wants me to. I want him off my back. The booth is made of ice and wood. It's been here a while. The wood is old and deformed. Brown posters lift and crinkle from passing people. Rustic maps and old stories of Elissa Moon are pinned to its sides. There's a rumor about the maps. I never gave it much credence.

“What can I do for you?” The vendor looks at me. He eyes me for my worth.

“I have a revolver.” I point to the far wall. There's a bunch of used contacts there. Reasonable trade. If it gets me a rental and some cigarettes, that's fine too. Give me one of those, please. I have bullets to get rid of.”

The vendor smiles and motions to his employee. Some old contacts are slid over to me. Not good, but they will do the job. He tosses me the cigarette from the side his fuzzy hat and a small package.

“They're yours. Thanks for doing business.”

“What a rip off,” I think.

I pause. “You're welcome,” I say to the vendor.

I brush off the contacts to make them cleaner.

“Ok Kaloas. You've won. Show me.”

Kaloas makes eye contact with me. His deep eyes glow and a connection is made. Everything starts out jumbled then forms. I blink a few times to let my eyes adjust. I hear his words in my head and read them simultaneously.

“Follow Lenoa”

“Why do that?”

I didn't want to follow Lenoa. She was in deep trouble trying to leave the outskirts. Palace soldiers were always around and I was sure many of them were using their Shasis. Shasis observed things and they were good at sniffing out people they didn't want. Getting caught stealing was something you got sniffed out for. In fact, there were a few things I learned you didn't do in the Snowfell Palace. You didn't go to the bathroom wherever you wanted, you walked on the pathway material so you don't slip and fall, and you didn't con smart people without plans of leaving this place in the future. Lenoa must have broken one of the many unwritten rules. I'm sure it was the bathroom break. Personally, I wanted to stay. It was safe here and I could start over with some kind of stability. It was obvious to me that Lenoa didn't care.

“You have to save her,” flashes Kaloas

“No I don't.”

“You have to save her. It doesn't matter. They're here!”

I stare at Kaloas and try to ignore what he said. Someone was coming and I didn't want him to see that I was nervous. Who was here? I try to blend in. Then, I try to make my way out of the ice chamber. My pace was slow. I could be just as calm as Kaloas and he wasn't going to get the best of me. People used to get the best of me. My mom did. She told me to hush.

There is something I never tell anyone. My mom died of a broken heart. That's the fairy tale. That's not what happened. When I was just a kid I caught her cheating on my dad. She was cheating with an occupying soldier, during the time the Mastals had arrived in town. I never told him, it would hurt too much. Every day we would eat dinner together. She would tell my dad how much she loved him and I would sit there quiet. I would play with my food and drink glasses after glass of water. I hated it! Her words were fake like neon. Shining light, but never quite real. It makes me sick

One hunting season my dad became ill and I invited my mom out to hunt with me. I said I needed a look out and dad wasn't able. I led her into the woods and let the Shasis do the rest. They killed her. I'm sure of it. I never forgave myself for it – for any of it. It's the reason I went to Shingles all the time. I liked being alone when I ate there. That was life for me.

A broken heart? Maybe I'm right after all. It takes a broken heart to cheat. Something isn't working right. Something needs to be fixed. I never told my dad. I wanted him to die believing he was loved. He had a hard life. I wanted him to have his fairy tale, like the stories he and mom read to me as a child when things were happier. Sometimes I pretend to talk to a real mother like the others have on Elissa Moon. A real mother who loves her son enough to be faithful to his father.

Neon love. Sometimes it can be love when you need it even if it isn't real. It helps dissipate the darkness. That's why I have an imaginary mom I talk to when I'm alone.

“You there. Don't move!”

A rifle cocks. I know which kind from experience.

I watch Kaloas posture himself defensively. I guess he did care for me a little.

“Watch the Shasi. Watch the Shasi,” repeats the guard cautiously.

The seven guards have their rifles out and motion me to follow them. Good thing I got rid of my revolver. They still didn't trust me and I don't blame them. Who would trust you when you were hanging out with Lenoa a few days? Kaloas doesn't even trust her and that's good enough for me.

“Shut up. Audris.”

I'm kidding. Kaloas would die for her.

I'm being bitter. I don't want to be in this foolish mess.