Chapter 73 – The Eye of Trouble (2)

Joshua told Dan and Nana his decision to help Silo in hunting down the thing that killed the scouts. Dan was not amused. Nana got angry at Joshua for his hot-headed decision.

“So you are risking your life just like that?” Nana said. “What if you die? Look at you, you are still pale and your limping isn’t gone!”

“I am sorry. But unless Silo backs out then I’m going with him.”

Dan shook his head. “This is dangerous, Joshua. Nana’s right. You’re in no good shape to fight. What would you do if you encounter this thing that killed hardened soldiers?”

“I can dodge. I am very good at that.”

Nana frowned at that reply. She said. “Overconfidence kills! How about I tell Silo to stop this nonsense?”

“I don’t think he will listen,” Joshua replied with a frown. “He is adamant in hunting down. He might look dumb and stupid but I think his former profession as caravan guard will help him. And I think the men going for the hunt will need a medic. I can treat wounds and they are going to go to the deep forests. I’ve heard that there are many monsters there. I fear that they might need me.”

“Still, do you really know what you are staking in here?” Dan was irritated. “Just because Silo is going there you are going too? I know that he is your friend but to go this far? Don’t tell me you have fallen in love with him?”

“Of course not,” Joshua laughed a bit. “It’s just that there is this shy girl that probably wants him to stay alive. You know how I manage to survive a jump off a cliff. I have a knack for surviving near-death situations and if there is anyone that might pull Silo out of that hunt alive. Then it’s going to be me.”

“You are making this hard!” Nana smashed her fists at the table. “Look at you and your bravado! I’ve seen foolish brats like you go out there and think they can make a difference! That ego of yours will kill you!?”

“Ego you say?” Joshua tilted his head. “This is no ego. I am just stating the truth. I can do it not because of some baseless confidence. It’s hard to explain but let us just say that I got a blessing.”

“A blessing?” exclaimed Dan. “So you are going there because of this ‘blessing’?”

“Yes. That’s why I want to go.”

“Dan!” Nana shouted. “Don’t try to sound as if you are letting him!”

Joshua looked at Nana with warm eyes. “Miss Nana, Sir Dan, I thank you for worrying this much. But there is really no need to be this worried. It is not like I am your family?”

When Joshua said that Dan and Nana looked at each other, Dan particularly looked mad as if he got insulted by Joshua’s words.

“So that’s it? Why do you care? Is it not like you are a family? So that’s how it is? The past days your stay with us was nothing?”

Miss Nana looked sad when Dan said that. Joshua felt guilty so he explained himself. “Sir Dan. The reason why I jumped off the cliff is that I was taken as a slave. The people who I thought were ‘family’ after being with them for a few months threw me away when faced with a big choice. They treated me well. They acted nice at me well. But the moment that a heavy choice was weighed upon them. They did not even try to speak up. It was then that I realize that I failed to connect with them. I did not make an impact on them. I was naïve to think that they would abandon the safety of their niece or sister over me, a complete stranger that they did not know for years. I deluded myself that maybe they treat me as a family. But they did not. I misunderstood badly how slow trust can be build up. I didn’t touch their heart. Heck, even a righteous stranger stood up for me and let himself be beaten. Yet the people that I thought I bonded with did not do anything for me. I may have offended you by saying that why should you care when I am not your family. But Sir Dan, would you risk the safety of Miss Nana over me?”

Dan twitched at Joshua’s question. He looked down and answered. “No, I don’t think I can do that. You are right.”

“I know. I can understand why they did that. Trust isn’t easily acquired. It needs to be built up and a single sentence could crumble a year’s worth of trust. The people that I was with had priorities. This werecat woman that I was with hated humans for what they’ve done to her. She said it to me straight but I was foolish to think that she would stand up for me. She trusted me a bit but it was not enough to make her risk her little sister. The other one was a proud warrior that lost his purpose. He was lost wanderer that wanted to find something to fight for. And I know he was fulfilling his promise. He knew the niece that he had was in trouble. Comparing his niece, who carries a weight that I could never bear on my shoulder, to me is an insult. There was a big stake and I could tell from his blood-soaked palms that he had to make a choice. I can understand that but it hurts. I am sorry for what I said to you two. You are good people. But even so...I had to this.”

Dan and Nana felt like Joshua was in pain. His words to them felt like if he was convincing himself that they did nothing wrong. It was as if he was trying to make it sound that they did not have a choice. They have the choice. They could have done something but they did not have trust or that deep bond that would make those that abandoned him stand up for him. So for Dan and Nana, it felt like he was deluding himself. They find it saddening.

Joshua could see the look of pity on their faces, he sighed, he said. “So that’s my reason. But even though I was rather rude just now, I hope that if I come back. You won’t treat me badly ha ha ha,” A rather hollow laugh escape from Joshua.

Dan felt angry and pity at the same time. “Fine, go ahead. You still owe for saving you. So return back so you can build that crib.”

Joshua smiled. “Thank you, Dan, for your understanding. And I am sorry Miss Nana for being rude.”

“It’s okay,” Nana said.

Joshua then turns towards the door, carrying a bag he bought from the markets. Dan looked at Joshua’s back. He said. “Joshua...”

Joshua halted his steps. He turned around and looked Dan in the eye. “What is it?”

“Don’t assume that people are the same. I can tell that those people who abandoned you had to make choices. I can probably do the same if it comes to it. But remember that even though this world is filled with things like that. Not everything has to be cynical. That’s all. Come back to us, and maybe you’d start to listen to us older people.”

“I see. See you later Sir Dan and Miss Nana. I hope that I can build that crib for your baby.”

Joshua left with this sad smile. Dan felt that Joshua's back was rather weary. It was the back of a soft-hearted lad who could not abandon a friend. He had the means to protect his friend. And he is exercising it. Yet he has hurt already. Yet despite that, he follows his soft heart.

He knows that trust cannot be easily earned. It cannot be given lightly just because of a few exchanges of words. Joshua had learn that well yet he still goes and follow what his heart told him to do.