《Aesha Roxinne Flinn》Darkness and its canvas
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If there is something I hate about life, it is its unfairness to the people.
It is in the middle of the night, and I am here watching a massacre.
Guns, blood, knives, swords.
Life and Death.
And here I am watching everything before my eyes, hiding below a compartment.
Just above I can have a glimpse of everything that is about to happen.
My mother is lying on the floor, helpless and weak. With her clothes torn into parts.
German is on the ground kneeling with his body wounded, but the amount of blood leaving his shoulders cannot be ignored above it all.
And my father, harshly wounded, having that ridiculous smirk on his face looking at the person standing above us.
My tears are unstoppable for an hour. Scared and traumatized. But the amount I am shedding for this very moment is nothing compared to the pain digging in my heart.
Mom. Dad. What is happening?
I tried hard to bite my hand to prevent myself from the rage and shouting when suddenly the woman held my mom up again and ripped the clothes out of my mother’s body.
I looked at my father again, and saw his smirk fading but is still there. Him, facing the nothingness in front and the darkness of his eyes didn’t leave him.
But something is different because I saw the hollowness in it.
I turned my eyes on my mom again because I am too scared I do not know my father anymore. I saw how my mom is letting everything that is about to happen to her but the tears flowing in her cheeks couldn’t escape my eyes. And it seemed that those tears trigger more tears in my eyes.
My lovely mother.
Mom.
I sobbed and sobbed in silence, hardly preventing myself to make a sound. Feeling all the extra pain my heart is experiencing now.
We were just laughing a while ago. How did we end up like this?
How pure she is to be painted with bruises. How lovely she is to be able to experience this?
I saw the woman raise my mom’s arms, her eyes traveled to my mom’s body. Walking her fingers in every part with wounds, bruises, and blood my mother is having.
“You really a gorgeous woman Allison, too bad you will die now, ” I heard the woman say then she lowered my mom’s arm gently.
As if she never said my mother is to die.
I watched her walked between the tiny space between my mother and German. Uncareful walking. Making her step on German’s arms.
I heard German grunt, but I knew the pain from a wounded arm stepped by those heels, can make him feel more than just a grunt. She turned her back again to face my mother and smiled.
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That mocking smile.
I memorized how she looked like. I sketched all of her in my mind.
I will never forget. I will never ever forget.
She clapped her hand to catch the attention of her audience.
“Okay. So now that the opening party has ended. I will never make you wait for any greetings and blah-blah-blah-ba-blah event that needs to happen. Those are just unimportant ones. ”
She surveyed the room and laughed again “Let us now proceed to the end. The closing program”.
I watched how her eyes turned different with the overwhelming joy she is feeding right now.
“But of course, let me give you a summary, a short introduction again. To formally end the program. This is Allison Flinn.” she paused and looked at my mother.
“And she is in her most beautiful form tonight. Right?”
No one answered. No one dared to talk.
I saw how she was irritated when she got no response from anyone in return, so with a few steps, she is in front of German, twisting his head to make him forcefully look at my mom.
But German immediately closed his eyes. Tight. Even when the woman is going impatient making him see my mom.
“Open your damn eyes!” that’s a loud shouting and her neck veins started to appear.
But she got no response at all, so she decided to touch German’s wounded shoulder, inserted those long nails, making her best to open German’s eyes.
But he didn’t. Even after a while he still didn’t.
I saw how he handled the pain by himself. With his eyes never opening.
The woman suddenly stood up and moved her head left and right. Feeling it tick as she swayed it like a morning exercise.
“You are one stubborn man, ” she finally said.
I saw her raise her hand. One of his men attend to her and gave her a white handkerchief which she used to wipe the blood out of her hands.
“Since you annoyed me tonight, you do not need to be introduced properly, so let’s skip you and now proceed— ” she smiled the widest
“to Mr. Luther Flinn, ”
I looked at my father again and noticed how his smirk is replaced by a grin I couldn’t decipher.
“You didn’t inform me you are visiting today. I should have prepared a lot of food for you and your companions.” I heard my father say even when he’s voice is not that stable anymore. His eyes surveyed the room.
“You even organized the event for my family. Don’t you think you needed permission from the owner of where you choose to be the venue? ”
I couldn’t understand my father’s words. I couldn’t follow what he is thinking right now. But I saw him smile, looking at the woman. Mocking the woman. Belittling her with his very possible way.
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The woman got annoyed. She then walked towards my father, holding him up in the collar helplessly.
“Don’t act so strong and casual on me now Luther. I know how fake your mask is now. Watching your home fall. Watching your family struggle their last breaths!” she said, pushing my father’s body hard.
Then pulled it again to make my father face my mother right now.
“How hurtful it is to see your light fade its light hmm? How hurtful it is to watch her lose her bright life.”
She placed her hands on her cheeks and watch both of them like a funny pet show she loves to see.
I watched how my mother stretch a smile at my father. Followed by tears flowing again in her eyes. And then smiled again trying to touch my father’s face.
I couldn’t see my father’s face right now for his body is turned back at me and all I can see is my mother’s hopeless situation.
I saw my mother’s lips move and it seemed like she is saying something but the movement of her lips are too small to make me understand it.
Then I found her eyes briefly looking at the eyehole I am looking through now.
She smiled at it knowingly. Like she knows I am here all along. Like she know her smile would make me feel something I was deprived of in this situation.
Motherly love.
I cried hard wanting to go out on this cage. I cried hard wanting to soothe all her pain away. I cried hard, scared that this situation will take her away from me.
With all the blurring tears in my eyes, I saw her nod at German and smiled, before she closed her eyes.
Ang just after a few seconds, I heard a loud bark of laughter that made me fear.
And angry.
That was my father’s.
That was my father’s!
I couldn’t believe how he can laugh at this kind of matter! I can’t believe he can just laugh when it seems like my mother is being stripped from me! Dying!
My heart wavered and rage inside me is filling me. My mother is dying and he is out there, laughing like a mad man!
After a minute of laughing I watch him wipe the tears in his eyes from the laughing he just made.
“Is that all you got, huh? ” he asked and I again cannot believe how he can say that.
The woman’s face showed how she is deeply annoyed at how my father goes unaffected by the situation so she pulled the sword out of his men and swung it directly in my mom’s direction.
My eyes grew wide from the sight. With my hands in my mouth, I shouted her name and my disapproval of what is about to happen. That was the loudest cry I cried and it has escaped my covering hands.
But before the sword reach her body and at the moment my cries goes louder and louder I heard a loud thud above. The hole is being covered by a large body— hiding me from the scene I was about to see.
With the person’s blood dripping on my face.
I punched and punched my chest to stop me from shouting. To stop me from hurting.
But it is very useless. In fact it seemed to trigger more tears in my eyes.
Mom!
Please... no. Don’t.
I threw my weakening body on the floor.
Then after that, a while of silence happened.
Minutes after, the place is suddenly filled with gunshots and steps I couldn’t count. Walking, running— and running again.
The eyehole is emptied again.
It was a long while before it stops. And even if I’m scared and shaking, I pecked through it and saw my mom’s peaceful face lying on the floor.
Without thinking a second of whether there are people outside or I will die going out of this place, I opened it with all my might and ran to hold and embrace my mom.
Her pale skin was covered with bruises. Her hair is disheveled. Her body, naked, and brutally painted with wounds. I couldn’t even say a word aside from “mom”, as my lips are trembling to look for her breathing which I fail to see.
I reached for those dead bodies and ripped. And ripped and ripped the fabrics of the clothes they are wearing. Neverminding the lines slicing in my hands.
My mother doesn’t deserve this. I better make her beautiful again.
I should make her wear clothes like how she does to me.
She said a woman’s body is sacred and should be treated with the best care. So I have to treat hers with extra care and cover her beauty not everyone deserves to see!
With my shaking hands, I’ve successfully made her body covered with the pieces I’ve ripped. They are stained by blood, by other people’s blood, and mine.
My mother is dressed with blood.
My body is convulsing at the sight.
I laid down. Reached for her and embraced her. I cried in her chest. I cried hard with all of my heart.
My heart is clenching, beating fast. My breathing is labored. My face is painted by the drips of blood.
And my mother turns into a canvass— with blood, bruises, and wounds as the paintbrush.
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