Sneaking past the haunted mansion castle’s walls was… far easier than it should have been, really. It was probably because of the fact that nobody really expected anybody to sneak in in the first place. After all, that wasn’t what was supposed to happen. What was supposed to happen was going through the battles normally and conquering various women that way. Skipping those steps by just sneaking into the enemy’s base and kidnapping one of them was breaking how the game was supposed to work.

But they should have known better than to think that I had any interest in playing the game normally.

Honestly, all I had to do was walk in through a door built into the wall next to the main gate. Why was there another door there? I didn’t know. Maybe they had it there so that people can enter and leave without having to open and close the main gate. That felt like it kind of defeated the purpose of having the gate, but I wasn’t going to question it since it made my mission easier.

From there, all I had to do was walk across the courtyard to the entrance of the actual haunted mansion castle. All the actual fighting was happening outside the walls, so the inside of the walls was pretty calm. Though, I did spot that the next few waves of enemies were all lined up behind the wall waiting for their turn.

Some of them noticed me, but they didn’t do anything about that. I even waved to them and got a few to wave back. They were more concerned about the actual battle than whatever I had in mind, apparently.

It wasn’t until I reached the large, double doors to the haunted mansion castle that I was finally stopped by somebody: a large, skeletal knight in black armor with an axe that looked more like a giant meat cleaver than a proper weapon.

The skeleton raised its axe in front of the door and stood in front of me.

“Yo,” I said, feeling like Cami for a moment. “I don’t have a bone to pick with you, so can you let me in?”

The skeleton raised his free hand up to cover his face in response to my pun, blocking his sight and giving me the opening I needed to spin around and kick him in his side. Admittedly, I buffed my strength a bit so that I would be able to not only land a solid hit with my kick, but I hit him with enough force to send him flying to the side with his bones falling apart all across the ground.

“You’re alright, right?” I asked him.

His body had fallen apart, but he was still able to give me a thumbs-up.

I gave him a thumbs-up and then went inside, entering the haunted mansion castle for the first time since my original stay there. Everything looked exactly like it did before which was no surprise given that both the zombie maid queen and her butler were both cleaning fanatics who kept everything as spotless as possible. It was impossible for a mess to exist inside as long as they were there.

More importantly, two more skeletons inside noticed me, and they drew their swords as soon as they saw me.

That made me happy.

Yes, it was possible for me to just snap my fingers and win at everything thanks to my new powers, but where was the fun in that? Where was the tension in that? That made it all reward and no risk. Even if it was possible for me to plant seeds in a garden and have them grow into adult, flowering plants the next second with a snap of my fingers, I wouldn’t do that. The struggle and conflict en route to that final goal was part of the experience.

Though, I would at least make sure they were in no actual danger. I wasn’t going to let my plants ever be at true risk of failing no matter what. Not only did plants deserve to live no matter what all the time, but what kind of godlike being would have the power to prevent suffering and death but not use it? Why would I let reality remain in such a way that my plants might still suffer from root rot or blight? Letting them remain a time sink was alright. Letting them pause their growth unless properly watered was alright. Letting them suffer any negative consequences, however, was not alright.

Even if deprived of water and sun for months at a time, I wanted them to still survive and feel perfectly fine. Of course, I was never going to let them go that long without sun or water, but still.

The point is that I wanted some challenge.

That meant that even though there were a couple of skeleton guards in front of me wielding swords, I had no interest in just snapping my fingers and instantly defeating them even though that was possible.

Instead, I held my right hand out to my side and summoned my trusty PickAxe to me. My PickAxe appeared in the air in front of my hand for me to grab.

If I was going to go up against a couple of skeletons, I was going to do so armed.

Then I had an idea.

If Postia was a girl who was probably going to eventually turn into one of my girlfriends—wives, rather, assuming that she wasn’t already one… then couldn’t I turn my PickAxe into a living being who would eventually become one of my wives?

Maybe that was getting a bit too loose with my powers. Not to mention that it would be kind of strange to create life with the intention of it being my wife. Of course, I could also just snap my fingers to erase any and all potential ethical concerns there, but I still decided against it. Besides, from my understanding, it was possible for inanimate objects to come to life as long as somebody had a deep enough bond with them in the first place. Lake came to life because of my ancestor’s bond to her, and Valkyria gained life because of her crew’s bond to her.

So long as I kept PickAxe with me and deepened my bond with it, it would possibly gain a life of its own in time, and then I could turn that new life into my new wife.

But for now, I looked at the skeletons in my path and said, “I’ve come to steal your women.” Then again, they were already my women, so wasn’t it more like I had come to take my women to where they belonged? Just because I didn’t conquer their levels yet didn’t mean that they weren’t mine.

As for the skeletons’ response, they didn’t seem too happy about that and charged at me with their swords drawn.

There was once a time that I was terrified of anything horror. That included zombies, living skeletons, and so on. But after all the battles we went through in the haunted zones… I got desensitized. Spending that week with Mariet and Claire also helped me get desensitized to it all seeing as how Mariet’s limbs and head often came detached during our… activities. By mistake, of course.

Sometimes her head would just… pop right off and roll away from being too rough.

That always killed the mood a little whenever it happened. That was also why I learned it was important to keep at least one hand on her head to hold it whenever doing things with her so that I could prevent it from getting detached.

The point is that despite my former fear of horror, I felt nothing but confidence when the two skeletons charged at me. All I had to do was position my PickAxe to block their initial attacks and then—

“Wait, Freddy?” I asked, causing the two skeletons to stop their charge. The one on the right then pointed up at his skeletal head as if he was confirming that I was talking to him. “Yeah, I knew it. You’re Freddy. I remember that chip on the side of your skull.”

Back during my stay in the haunted mansion castle, Freddy was the one who helped me find the kitchen in the middle of the night while Mariet and Claire were sleeping. He even made me a pretty good sandwich.

“How’re the wife and kids?” I asked him.

Freddy shrugged and gave me a thumbs-up.

“Your son still training to get a job at the amusement park?”

Freddy nodded before moving his hands around to talk to me in a way that I could somehow understand.

“Don’t push him too hard. Let him experiment and discover what’ll make him the happiest in life, alright? All you have to do to be a good dad is support him no matter what he may choose, even if it means leaving the amusement park behind.”

Freddy slumped his shoulders before nodding again.

“I know, you’re worried about him, but you have to give him some space and let him choose his own path. And remember, you have everybody here in the mansion to talk to, and you can always come pay me a visit if you ever need to.”

Freddy sniffled and wiped a hand across his face where a nose would normally be.

“Want a hug?”

Another nod.

With that, I walked up to him and gave him a hug. The other skeleton, who I didn’t recognize, also joined in because why not?

Once Freddy was feeling better, the hug came to an end and he asked me if I was really there to steal his wife.

“Oh, no, when I said ‘your women,’ I didn’t mean your actual women. I just mean Mariet or Claire. Not sure which one I’ll kidnap yet,” I explained.

Freddy let out a sigh of relief when he heard that before gesturing some more with his hands.

“What? No way. I know I’m amazing basically a god now, but your wife wouldn’t leave you for somebody like me. I could never compete with you. Have some faith in yourself.”

With renewed vigor, Freddy nodded and stood up straight with his ribcage proudly sticking out. He then told me exactly where I could find Mariet and Claire. Mariet was sleeping in bed despite the battle going on outside, and Claire was taking a bath.

So, I had two choices.

I could kidnap a sleeping zombie maid queen or a naked bat butler in the middle of taking a bath.

Kidnapping both of them was technically possible, but I still wanted to leave myself a reward for after we properly finished the final level of their zone. Kidnapping Mariet was probably the wrong choice to make since she was the queen and the most important person in the zone, but… if I kidnapped Claire instead, Mariet would be left alone without her faithful bat butler to help her out with daily life things. Not to mention that the two were pretty inseparable anyways. It would probably be mean to separate them.

To separate them.

Separate.

…

I had an idea.

“Freddy,” I said, placing a hand on his bony shoulder. “I’m going to defeat you so that I can feel like I’ve properly earned the right to succeed with the kidnapping, alright?”

Freddy gave me a proud salute and awaited his fate.

With that, I swung PickAxe straight through him and the other skeleton at his side, breaking both of their bodies apart and causing them to become a single pile of bones on the floor below.

They were safe and sound, of course. No permanent damage happened to them and they would put themselves back together later.

Though… I hoped that they wouldn’t mix any bones up. It could be pretty awkward the next time Fred got with his wife if he accidentally had the wrong bone.

“Say hi to the family for me,” I told Freddy before running up the nearest flight of stairs to head to Mariet’s bedroom.

Mariet’s bedroom was my goal, by Mariet herself was not.

After fighting my way through a few more skeletons and zombies, I burst into Mariet’s room by kicking the door open… only to not even wake her up from her slumber. She slept through all of it. It wasn’t until I actually walked up to the bed and got close to her that I saw her nose wiggle and her eyes slowly open.

“Food…?” Mariet sleepily asked before noticing me, smiling as soon as she saw me. “Ah… my favorite… food. I must… be dreaming.”

“This isn’t a dream,” I said.

“But… you haven’t… finished the last… battle, yet… why are… you here? Did… you miss me… that much?”

“Yes, but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then… why?”

“I’ve come for your body.”

A gentle blush painted her pale cheeks as she lifted a hand up to her blanket to pull it down, revealing the nightgown she was in. “If you want… my body… you can—”

I reached up, grabbed her head by each side, and popped it off from her neck.

I then set her head down on top of her pillow before picking her body up, slinging it over my shoulder, and saying, “You can have this back once I beat your final level. Oh, right. You can feel everything I do to your body no matter how far away it is, right?”

All Mariet could do was blink at me a few times as I talked. She was… pretty slow when it came to understanding things, and I figured I must have overwhelmed her a bit.

So, to confirm it myself, seeing as how her rather large rear was right next to my head, I gave it a smack.

Even though her head wasn’t connected to her body, me slapping her ass still caused her head to jolt and her blush to grow even brighter.

“Perfect. I’ll be taking this then,” I said before turning to leave the room. “Oh, and tell Claire that some of the skeletons might need help being put back together.”

Mariet opened her mouth to say something, but all it took was spanking her again in order to shut her mouth, prompting her to bite her lower lip as her body wiggled against me.

So, Mariet and Claire would get to remain together until I conquered their haunted mansion castle and took both of them home with me, but, until then, I had Mariet’s body to do whatever I wanted with it.

I was going to have a lot of fun with her body. And since I was supposed to be a villain kidnapping her, it wouldn’t be wrong for me to chain her body up in a custom dungeon made just for storing it.

Nobody would be able to hear her screams… well, mainly because she wasn’t going to have a head in the first place. Though, if she really did feel everything, then everybody in the haunted mansion castle would be able to hear her screams.

That was going to be fun. She’d have no idea exactly what was happening to her body but still be able to feel everything. Claire would be able to see her master’s face reacting to everything I was doing to her body, but have no idea just what I was doing.

While getting to watch a girl’s face responding the things done to her body was nice and all, getting to imagine what sort of faces Mariet’s detached head would make while I played with her body sounded just as fun. Then there was also the fact that she would have no idea when I was going to use her body. She could just be going about her daily, body-less life when all of a sudden…

Yeah, I was going to have a lot of fun being a villain who kidnapped her body to play with.