I arrived at dinner, unsuspecting that Ted would have gathered so many people. They were all seated, Eli, Eva, a young man, Ted, his wife, and a gentleman of a certain age. Eli was beautiful in a summer flowery dress. She was engaged in a lively conversation with Ted’s wife, their laughter resonating on the bare wall of the dinning room. Eva was quietly seating, self absorbed in what I could only guess to dark thoughts. As I entered the room the young man first noticed me and stood up to shake my hands under Ted’s watchful eyes.

“I don’t think I was ever properly introduced! I am Benagher Ulrich Christiansen and this is my father Chancellor Rainer E. Christiansen.”

It took me a few seconds to remember where I had heard this name, then it hit me!

“Christiansen? General Christiansen? Antarticum’s Military force?” I asked holding back a smile.

“It seems my reputation precedes me! Let’s be friends, Fenn Li! I think you and I have much in common!” he said offering my shoulder a friendly pat.

I couldn’t tell if he was being honest or making a fool of me. But I remembered Fiori’s reaction when he had heard about Benagher having been promoted to General. I quickly concluded that the poor man was but a fool himself. It was worth entertaining the idea of being friends.

“I could definitively use a friend in this place!” I answered with a smile.

My comment wasn’t lost on Eva and Eli as they both frowned.

“Good evening, Ted, I didn’t realize the whole family was going to be in attendance. And what a beautiful space, that chandelier is quite spectacular!”

In fact, the chandelier was outrageous and dated. Golden, bulky, swaying side to side creating shadows over the table. It reminded me of the chandelier in the picturebook. It was an odd place to see it… again. I brushed that thought.

“A nightly tradition,” he answered without skipping a beat. “I don’t believe you’ve had a chance to meet! This is my lovely wife Mrs. Weatherspoon!”

“Nice to meet you! You can call me Maria,” the woman said.

“Nice to meet you!” I spoke with fake modesty.

“Well, now that everyone is here, let dinner be served!”

Benagher ushered me to a seat next to him. I was glad to be seated as far as possible from Ted.

Eva was seated between Benagher and Chancellor Christiansen.

Dinner was served.

There was meat on my plate! I had never had meat!

“Steak. It’s Ted’s favorite. This is one of the many privileges we enjoy here.” Benagher said with a mouth already full.

I tried to hide my excitement.

***

Everyone dug in, even Fenn.

But I couldn’t get myself to eat. I didn’t want to see Fenn. I didn’t want to be part of this scene. Internally, I was slowly dying. Seeing Fenn, here, was the last straw. I was dying. Eva is dead.

“Tell me Fenn, is it your first-time having steak?” Mrs. Weatherspoon asked from across the table.

“Yes. We don’t usually eat steak at the orphanage.”

“What do you think of it?” Ted asked.

“It is like nothing I have ever tasted before.”

Ted smiled. It made my stomach turn. I pushed my plate away.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Benagher asked me.

“It’s nothing, I am just not feeling well,” I said with a weak smile.

He gently placed his hand on my forehead. I hated this caring side of him. The poor kid was an idiot. Everyone using him, including me.

“Eva, you don’t look so good,” he whispered to me.

“I’m ok, I reassured him,” taking a bite from the steak.

But he didn’t let up…

“Would you like some tea? Let me get you a tea.”

Before I could object, Benagher quickly left the dinning room.

I sighed. Fenn was observing and it was making me nervous.

“This steak is delicious Mrs. Weatherspoon,” Eli cheerfully exclaimed.

Gosh I hated that kid! The girl had learned fast.

“I made sure the cook used fresh herbs from the garden as seasoning,” Mrs. Weatherspoon explained.

I took another bite.

“But the credit rests on Ted, for being able to provide us with such wholesome food,” Mrs. Weatherspoon innocuously added.

It made Ted smile.

It made my stomach turn.

I took another bite.

Benagher came back with my tea.

“Here, I got you some lemon to go with it. I know you like lemon in your tea.”

Caring and dumb.

My heart sunk.

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

I tried to focus on the chandelier gently swaying over my head. Mentally escaping this place.

“How long have you two been dating,” Fenn casually asked.

He had a keen eye. I hated that kid too.

“Just over a year, now,” Benagher proudly said. “We will be getting married next year.”

“Congratulation! I had no idea,” Fenn said with seemingly real enthusiasm.

I pushed another smile.

Ted must have overheard.

“We are all looking forward to the wedding. Although the place will seem empty after our two little love birds leave the nest.”

“But it’s ok, our dear daughter Elliot Rose will help brightened up this place.” Mrs. Weatherspoon cheerfully proclaimed.

A dagger to my heart. When was the last time she called me her daughter? I couldn’t remember.

I was done eating.

“You really aren’t looking so good. Do you want to head back to your room?” Benagher kindly asked me.

But Ted stepped in: “Dinner is not done; Eva will stay until the end.” He continued: “Don’t be so wasteful, meat is expensive. You should be grateful to be seated at this table.”

“I am eternally grateful,” I answered in spite, dropping my fork.

They all watched as the fork loudly hit the plate. The sound echoed around us.

Benagher coolly placed his hand over mine and whispered: “It’s ok, soon we will be gone from this place.”

I leaned back and put all my energy starring at the chandelier.

Patience.

But this far away promise wasn’t good enough. Deep down, I didn’t want to be out of this place. There wasn’t anywhere far enough from this place. I wanted to be gone from this Earth.

Ted resumed eating.

Soon everyone was done.

“It was delicious,” Eli said as she sent me a side glare.

“I am so glad you liked it my dear,” Ted exclaimed with enthusiasm. “The last five years, we’ve had to be quite creative in procuring ourselves meat. Supply is unsteady. Beef is good but too expensive to produce. Pork would be more cost efficient but still the production is unreliable and wasteful. It is not enough for Antarticum to be self-sufficient; we need to ensure that resources are utilized in the most productive way. That means creating little waste and making use of everything. Luckily, being a medical research facility, we are provided with a steady flow of bodies. And of course, we provide our own…

Ted wasn’t done, but I didn’t want to hear the rest. My eyes fell back on the piece of meat left in my plate.

To my right, Benagher slowly lowered his fork.

“… if we are mindful, a full-grown man can provide us with enough meat to last a couple of months. I am confident that the next few months will be plentiful.”

Dessert was put on the table. Flavored gelatine with fresh berries.

“Bones too can be used. Nothing goes to waste,” Mrs. Weatherspoon cheerfully added as Eli ate a spoonful.

“Well, go on my friends. Eat up… Eat up… it never bothered you before.” Ted commanded.

To my dismay, Fenn, Chancellor Christiansen and Benagher all resumed eating, albeit with some visible caginess.

“What’s the matter Eva, I hardly recall Hardi being a friend of yours. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure you always despised the man. Although I agree with you, most useless at time, he is finally proving himself useful in death.”

“Do you reckon pure human tasting the same as Meliors and Aethereusians?” Eli asked sending shivers down my spine.

Benagher squeezed my hand trying to calm me down. Next to him, Fenn looked sickly pale as he took another bite of his gelatine.

“I don’t know my child. But we shall find out in a few weeks. Fiori will be heading to the chopping block,” Ted announced looking straight at Fenn. “But before, we have a big announcement to make tomorrow. I expect all of you to put your best foot forward as you join me on the world stage.”

Ted carefully scraped off the remaining gelatine from his bowl and languorously savored the last spoonful. He took the napkin off his laps, wiped his hands, the corner of his mouth and set it on the table neatly folded.

“Well then…” Ted said as he slowly got up.

“Good evening my friends,” he said as he left the room escorted by his wife. Eli, like a good lap dog, followed them. I was left with Fenn and the Christiansens.

Unsure what to do with my hands, I grabbed a small bun from the breadbasket. Nervousness. I excused myself from the table. My stomach was unsettled. I had to throw up. I had to leave this place. I rushed from the table and made my way to the close’s washroom.

There, I threw up uncontrollably. Benagher kneeled by my side and held my hair up.

There was nothing left for me to throw up, but my body wouldn’t let go. Bile and blood started coming out. I was shaking.

“It’s ok Eva,” Benagher said as he rubbed my back.

I collapse to the floor crying, still holding the piece of bread.

“Soon, soon we will be out of here.”

Benagher held me in his arms.

Is this what I get for being patient? I wondered.