Is it true? Could it be? I’ve been transported into a food mecca! There’s waterfalls of spaghetti, clouds of alfredo, and even meatball trees! I could stay here forever and never run out of food!

I have no idea how I got here! But it’s time to dig in!

“GERONIMO!” Taking a running jump, I aim to dive head first into that delicious food.

*Knock-knock*

...time just stopped. Nothing’s moving... More importantly, I’m not getting any closer to the river of linguini! No! It’s so close! Just one bite! Please! Just one mouthful! It’s just out of reach of my tongue too! I can almost taste it!

*Knock-knock* “Excuse me, Sir Bob? May I come in?”

Argh! It’s all fading away now! Meatballs and marinara, I knew it was too good to be true. Haaa~ maybe I’ll just lay here for the rest of the day… I feel as if I’m forgetting something important though.

“Sir Bob, I’m coming in.” My door opens and who I presume to be a maid walks in, a tray full of what smells to be food clinking with its silver cutlery in hand. A moment later, I hear a gasp and the crash of cutlery as she drops the tray.

Hmm, what could be wrong now?

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I finally open them to see the maid, Mary, red-faced and covering her face with her hands. Though, if she were trying to cover her eyes, she’s doing a terrible job of it.

Oh well, no use worrying about it. Time to get properly dressed. As I whip off the covers, Mary suddenly swoons and collapses in a heap upon the floor! Now I wonder how that happened.

Looking down at my lap, I find my little weiner dog sitting there.

“Oh Hotdog. Did you crawl under my covers again?” Just looking at her yawning face revitalizes me in the morning. “Come on girl, it’s time to wake up. I’ll take you on a walk as soon as I wash up and put on my armor.”

Five minutes later, I’m getting ready to go out the door with Hotdog in hand when I remember Mary lying on the floor. It can’t have been comfortable down there so I lay her in my bed to rest. I wonder what could possibly make her so tired! I hope the poor woman isn’t overworking herself.

One maid bedded and a particularly wet mess now cleaned up, I’m ready once more.

“Come on Hotdog, let’s take you on your walk now.”

“Yip-yip!”

I’m hungry so I decide that our walk shall just so happen to go through the dining hall first. Hopefully there will be some delicious leftovers making a reappearance. Along the way, I spot Mary’s younger sister, the first princess’ handmaid, Martha.

“Good morning, Martha.”

“Good morning Sir Bob and good morning Hotdog. Taking your morning stroll?”

“Indeed. I was about to get some food too. Care to join us?”

“I’m sorry Sir Bob, but I’m a little preoccupied right now. Maybe you could help me.”

“Sure thing! What can I do for you?” I reply with a smile. It’s a funny thing though, almost every girl that I smile at blushes at the drop of a hat.

“I’m looking for my sister, Mary. She was sent to wake you up half an hour ago. Have you seen her?”

“Yes actually. She’s resting in my chambers right now. Maybe you should let her have the rest of the day off. She seemed incredibly tired.”

For some reason, Martha has this odd look of what appears to be shock and a flushed face.

“Tha-thank y-you for the h-help! I best get going now,” she blurts hurriedly, and with that, she dashes off and disappears around a corner. Is she getting sick? I sincerely hope not.

“Yip-yip!” At my feet, Hotdog is looking at me expectantly. I guess it’s time to get back to our little walk.

…

Bread in hand and Hotdog at my heels, I make my way towards the gardens to enjoy my spoils. The only thing I dislike about the gardens is the fact that one has to cross the training grounds. All that shouting and clanging really puts me off of my mood.

Oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it. I might as well stop thinking about it and just enjoy my walk with Hotdog instead.

Interrupting me from my thoughts, a voice shouts out from behind me before I managed to properly enter the gardens. “Noodle Knight Bob! Noodle Knight Bob!”

Now who could this be? Oh… “Hello Soggy Bill. Would you like some bread?”

“Never mind the food Sir Bob. I’ve been looking all over for you! Did you forget what was planned for today?”

This Bill, he’s a newer recruit and all holding the rank of Limp Noodle, but surely he can figure out priorities, right? Food is life and life is for food! More so when the food is good.

“Actually, yes. There was something planned for today?”

“Yeah, yesterday, remember?” ...Great, now he’s giving me this look. I only give him my blank, confused look in return. Clearly, nobody else could possibly get what he means from that alone.

“There are three of them? Young and stupid to boot?” … he’s still giving me that look.

Wait a second… Yesterday, I remember a lot of good food. That doesn’t happen too often and may explain my food coma dream earlier. If there was a bunch of good food, then there had to have been a celebration of some kind or something really big and important. Think Bob, think.

“Yeah, I got nothin’. Could you just tell me please?” Hotdog yips in agreement with me.

“Ugh, seriously Bob? You’re a senior knight with the rank of Al Dente and one of several tasked with guarding the royal family. I’d expect you to do better than this. You really don’t remember?”

“Not at all.” What does he expect of me? I can’t tell what I don’t know?

“The Great Serving Time?” Nope, nothing. “The Great Prophet of Oodleshoff and his prophecy?” I think there’s something. “Three heroes? Ring any bells?” Ah, and there it is.

It’s all clicking now.

“I’ve got it! The three heroes foretold in the GPoO’s prophecy were summoned yesterday along with a feast of delicious food in order to defeat some Great Calamity said to occur during the Great Serving time and I am here to… show them the wonders of the Kingdom of Noodles!”

“NOOO!!! You’re supposed to train them! TRAIN THEM. And that’s not even a part of what the GPoO said!”

“Really? I could have sworn that they were supposed come here to sample all the great food that our chefs make. That way they can be better inspired to save our kingdom, for the food.” This is a much better answer than training them, right?

“*sigh* I honestly wonder how you got the rank of Al Dente with your personality and disposition. Whatever, come on. Let’s get you to them so that you can get them trained in time for the Great Serving Time.”

“Fine, lead the way Bill.” Ugh, I am conflicted here. He’s going to the central training grounds while my goal is the gardens. Should I just ditch him while his back is turned?

“Hey, Hotdog. What do you think I should do?”

“Yip-yip.”

“Fine, I’ll go through with this training thing. You’ve never steered me wrong before.” I toss some bread for her before turning to follow Bill, already a moderately small figure in the distance.

“Come on Hotdog, let’s go.”

A/N - It’s actually kinda difficult keeping Bob’s character consistent with set defining characteristics when it was originally a joke and he has no set defining characteristics other than stupidity. If you have any concerns or questions, feel free to post them. If you spot any holes, by all means, point them out! I’d like to keep things consistent.

Original google doc

P.s. Any ideas may be incorporated into the story. You’ve noticed my simple naming scheme, right? Well, that’ll likely remain that way unless some things change, namely readers providing whatever they’d like to be included.

P.p.s. I reserve the right to take any provided idea and make it super ridiculous.

P.p.p.s. Train Summoning may come sooner than expected… if you know what I’m talking about.

Oh, and if you voted yes on the poll, you have a dirty, dirty mind. =3