Moping a little I thought of what to do next. I could log off and go to the store. Demand Stew fixes his obvious, but devious plan. That would take time, and more importantly, it was impossible. Stew the bastard had gone home. The store closed. It was night. Dammit.

I asked the little human how to reach its settings and a screen appeared in front of me. It wasn't rocket science. Well, it could be. There was a tab called advanced and when I opened it there was computer code everywhere. I never was one to touch computers a lot. I knew how they worked at a general level, but nothing special. Certain I did not know my way around this unreadable gibberish I went back to the 'normal' tab.

There were a lot of options, and most had check boxes or toggle bars. A toggle bar that got my attention stated "Girlish behavior", I looked at it for a moment. Going over my options. I kind of liked the cute creature. But I saw nothing giggle related. I sighed and left it as it was. Who was I to change settings on something I had no clue how to use? I continued on that subject as I closed the settings list and said to the little human "Do you have a tutorial or something? How do I use you?" The tiny human looked a little confused and then said "Just give me a voice command Old bastard. I can take you to all the places within the Digital world." I looked below me, the gigantic Metropole stretched out for many kilometers. Its buildings varying from small brick houses to massive skyscrapers. Mixed in some weird confetti of randomness.

Where the hell was I supposed to go? This was like installing the internet and then not knowing what sites to visit. You couldn't just scroll through them, you had to search or type their addresses in. Hmm. Maybe.

I looked back into the disproportional big eyes of the tiny human. My mouth already open, but no words came. I frowned, my new face showing the wrinkles I had left untouched. Its eyes were too big. They freaked me out. I went to settings and toggled the eyes back a notch. I looked again. Much better. Then I asked the improved thing my original brain fart "Is there like a tour? Where we go to all the popular locations first or something?" The tiny being giggled and responded "Sure Old bastard, what are your interest?" A massive screen with at least a thousand subjects came into view. Porn and all its categories and close relatives greyed out. I sighed, before clicking on a dozen of the leftovers, most notable were pizza, grass, and football. I Pressed to confirm.

The little fellow jumped up and cheered before the lifts` glass door shut and it fell out of the sky. There was no feeling of falling. No pressure, no g-forces, no wind howling passed, no heavy feeling in your underbelly. But it still felt awkward. The speed was incredible. Skyscrapers passing us by as we came to street level and went to the left.

It took not even three seconds for the whole process to finish. We halted in front of a normal looking house that had a massive oven attached to the outside. In front of the giant oven, three persons were working on pizzas. Putting them into and out of the stone oven. The fire underneath, its inside glowing dark red, smoke coming out of the chimney. A sign that said, Antonio's Original Pizza's. I stared at it from inside my glass elevator. I couldn't smell the pizza but that was because the elevator doors were still closed. or that was what I assumed.

While I was staring at the fascinating scene, little human took the opportunity to lay it all out for me. "This pizza restaurant is close to your current location, in real life. They call it Antonio's Original Pizza's. They get a 4.6 out of 5 from previous customers and they deliver to your real life location. It is the best-rated pizza restaurant in your region. Would you like to go inside? There are free tasting options. Would you like to Bookmark for future use? Five thousand, three hundred and fifty-one people have bookmarked this location within the digital world. Bookmarked places require less buffer period, or,"travel" period as slang language dictates necessary. I can provide all information just given through the AI voice or by info screen, preferences are in the settings," and with that the stream of information ended.

Little human had left me a little flabbergasted. This was like the internet, but then better! Damn you principles. Most of all damn you, Stew! If a pizza place was this fancy what must the porn be like!

I moped even more now, stamping my foot a little while making a scene in my glass elevator. We went past five more pizza places. I bookmarked them all. Elevator buttons, with names underneath, appearing on the wall.

For now, that was good enough, I had to get settled a little more. The realism was wearing me down. The thought of smelling and tasting inside a machine. While not smelling, or tasting anything in the real was still a little too much for my old mind to deal with. Dinosaurs had their own pace. They did not call us dinosaurs for nothing.

After visiting the last one, a place that looked nothing like the first and covered itself in small and big neon advertisement, the tiny human said that, for twenty dollars a month, I could install an ad blocker. I said I would consider it but I needed to ask my principles first. It reacted with a giggle.

I should call it by a name or something. It had been in the settings. It was calling itself my personal AI. Nothing wrong with that. But my monologue was getting a little inconsistent, and pets needed names, right?

I was never big on the pet stuff. I guess I was more of a dog person. Shannah hated all furry creatures. The kids never bothered after they had let their pet turtle starve. A feat in and of itself. I once had a dog when I grew up, it wagged its tail a lot and drooled all over the carpet. Stank like wet dog even when dry and had the tendency to lick your face right after its dinner or its balls.

My elevator was still parked next to the neon outburst as I was staring at the tiny human. Lost in thought. It should be something girly. Ah damn it, never mind. Little human would do for now.

"Hey Little human, could you take me to T.E.A.M.? I want to see what the fuss is about." I had seen enough of the tour. Now I knew how to go places, it was time for something else. The second thing on my two-item long list of things to do in the digital world. Well, four. Now I knew ordering pizza and tasting pizza were possibilities, they made the list. Little human giggled and said, "Most certainly Old bastard."

Then we lifted off the ground and soared through the sky. Onwards to my best friend.