Chapter 3

EMBER I

Drip, drip, drip. The droplets coalesced for a moment, then dissipated into the ground. Now even the emergency bottle she'd managed to snatch while no one was looking had gone empty. That was quick. She barely remembered opening it, but it's residual heat still flowed through her body, fighting desperately against the creeping night cold. Try as it might, there was no way alcohol could stand up against winter's cruelest. Her legs tingled. Little icy needles had been pricking her for the last few minutes, and now they'd finally pushed past her skin. A pair of large, freezing hands went up her back, drawing out a deep shudder.

Ember stood straight. She saw the sky again, the trees around her. The blood flowed rapidly away from her head, and everything became hazy. The moons became bright lights, colouring the fog white and yellow. The trees looked like dark beasts with green fangs, their rustling in the wind reminiscent of a cat's wiggle before it pounces. There was some music in the distance, and faint cheering, though they were dying down. Silence was at hand, Ember knew, and she also knew that it, along with the lack of a nearby intoxicant, would only bring the uncomfortable thoughts back.

This was supposed to be a happy day. Ember lamented, remembering how happy and relieved she felt when she'd gone to pick up her certificate. The three years leading up to that she'd spent working and learning, listening to the lamentations of old has-beens about the improper 'new ways' and overconfident youngsters raving about their 'revolutionary ideas'. She remembered how hard it had been to hold on to the fascination in mechanics and engineering that had moved her to do this in the first place. She remembered her first days at the university, lost and confused, with neither friend nor acquaintance to guide her. She'd dashed from class to class, from room to room, trying to figure out where the lesson was scheduled and if she had signed up for it at all.

Ember chuckled. How'd I even get through the first semester? As time went on, it got easier. She knew where she had to go and when, what she needed to bring, she'd even learned to tell the teacher's mood before they said anything. All of it made for a long learning experience, but it had been worth it in the end. Despite the stress and problems of the previous semesters, her last one, the one she'd just finished, had been the easiest. All the tests and examinations were on things she'd previously studied, it was like being asked about the first lesson she'd learned.

The others thought differently, though. 'Oh, man, I'm so gonna fail EnChem...' 'Gahhh! Was the result to 54c 6 or 8 J?' 'I totally fell asleep halfway through...' Memories of her classmates replayed in her head. They all looked so stressed, so stricken with fear. Whatever demon had gotten into them had passed her by, and Ember was thankful for that. Her friends could only wish to have her composure.

But I could wish to have better friends. They'd seemed like a godsend when she first met them. Happy, helpful, and hopeful. They were a blinding light in a dark and confusing dungeon. Ember smiled a bit, remembering the old times. Group study sessions, movie nights, going out, just hanging with each other. It took a small while, but soon everything had a flow to it, all activities and interactions became smooth, talking to them was so much easier than to anyone else. The first time they'd all gone out to a proper party had been so perfect Ember still remembered every moment of it.

But that was three years ago. Back then Ember had been smaller, shyer, and far less open to anyone. As she grew, her outlook changed, she grew bigger, got fitter, got new hobbies and dropped old ones. But her friends just seemed to stagnate. In three years, they hadn't even tried any new food. And they weren't so enthralled by her new hobbies either. Going out became boring, the same old drunken tedium repeated over and over, to the point that Ember had started to make up excuses as to avoid it.

Her angels. Her once saviours had become nothing more than a bother. People to fret about, rather than relax around. The spark was gone. Would it ever come again? All the other students, her future colleagues, had been mostly the same as her old friends. Same likes and dislikes, same vain personalities, same attitude. They were her future, the people she'd have to spend time around, work with, develop relationships with. The prospect was not a happy one. Is that really all that my life has in store for me? A boring existence without any true friends? I... I don't want that...

She could've cried. She would've, too, had she not heard someone approaching. Slow footsteps from beyond the darkness, someone was coming up the path. She shuffled around, pulled her jacket up over herself, and stuffed the bottle into it. Out of the shadows came a tall and lean figure. He wore a jacket and some loose pants, all of it grey and black, just like his skin. His eyes shone three colours, the only colourful thing about him. Looks like a student. Could be from the party.

Ember eyed the Phloxi carefully as he approached. At first it seemed he'd go right past her, but he snapped around at the last moment and went to take a seat next to her. What? Ember grasped the bottle by its neck. She was starting to feel suspicious. He plopped himself down on the other side of the bench, a good arm's length away from her. Will the bottle reach from here? Shit... What's he even doing here? She looked him straight in the eyes. He was looking off into the horizon somewhere, then turned his gaze to meet hers.

"You from the party, too?" He nicked his head at her. His voice sounded drunk, but his eyes were completely clear. Or were they? Can't even see him properly... Despite the adrenaline rush of the situation, she hadn't mellowed out. Everything was still blurry, not quite unified. "Err, yeah... You too?" He made a face. "I just- Ah, nevermind. Yeah, I just got off like ten minutes ago. Man, it was wild. My head's still beating."

Ember's hand trembled. She almost swung at him, but he spoke up again. "Alright, um... I know this probably seems really creepy and all, but... Hm... How should I put this..." Slowly, the lines blurred together. Her adrenaline had peaked, and whatever he said next decided where it would go. "Look, I was just going on a walk to clear my head and then I saw you there. I wanted to move along, but you seemed... Upset. Something's bothering you, I can see that. I'm kind of an empath."

What are you talking about? I-Is this even real? The hell did they slip me at the party? "An empath, huh." Ember made an effort to sound bored and tired, hoping it'd get him to go away. Not so effective, it turns out. "Hey, I know it can be hard to admit and talk about, but whatever's bothering you is clearly written on your face. Figuratively, of course." His tone sounded almost genuine. Though I know better than to trust in someone's tone of voice. "How about you go ask someone else?" She gripped the bottle hard this time, and looked at him angrily. He put his hands up and raised his voice.

"Woah, woah!" He blinked and trembled. "Alright, I'm sorry! I don't wanna hurt you, if that's what you're thinking! I-I just wanted to help you. Let you air out your grievances on someone who'll forget it anyway." Is he for real?! Why would anyone do this? Why would anyone go up to random people and ask them to tell him about their problems? She was confused beyond words, but her thoughts were ever active. He hasn't even gotten up. But he's guarding himself. And he seems scared. Is he actually genuine about this? A few moments passed. Her adrenaline vented out, and her rage cooled. Ember slumped back onto the bench and sighed. Fuck it.

"I'm just... I don't know, I'm feeling hopeless." She threw her hands up, shrugging. The stranger put his guard down and straightened out. "Alright, you seem to know how you're feeling, that's good. Makes it easier to get at the root of it. Why are you- Nn. Rather, what do you think would be making you feel this way?" It seemed as if he'd entered some kind of psychiatrist mode. But his tone's the same. Maybe he wasn't hired to do this after all... She sighed again, this time truly committing to this impromptu therapy session.

"I know what's bothering me, there's no need to investigate the root of things." Her friends, her future, how she'd changed. Ember knew all that already. The problem lies in dealing with it. "I just grew distant from my friends, and now that I'm about to enter the working life, where all the other people around me are going to be like them, I can't help but feel hopeless." Saying it aloud felt weird. It sounded delusional, wrong. Like the ramblings of some clueless child. Maybe I really am wrong. I was drunk before, too. Couldn't think straight. I-

"I see. That is problematic." Wait, he agrees? Ember was confused again. "Wait, no, no, I was wrong. Drunk, too. I presumed too much. Just because the people around me right now are like this doesn't mean that the ones in my future will be." The stranger looked at her with pity on his face. "I mean, yeah... Uhm..." He tugged at his collar and avoided her gaze. Did- Did I say something dumb? Was this the ramblings of a clueless child? What does he mean?

"Careers, jobs... Have their types. Diversity is there, sure, in background and education, but in personality... Yeah. Not really. There are very few vocations that have true diversity, like Social Services or the Military, but even there there's a certain dominant type. People look for what they know, you know?" Shit, he's right. No one's going to just jump into the darkness. They'll look for an anchoring point. Now she felt hopeless again. She felt her expression grow sad, but made no effort to stop it. The stranger noticed.

"But now you know that! That's good!" Ember's face grew sour. "And how is that? Now I know that all I have to look forward to is a soulless life, surrounded by people I despise, constantly putting on a mask to please them! Ugh... Some shrink you turned out to be." She wanted to hit him again. "No, that's not how I meant it! You now know that the road you're on right now will lead only to bad times. But, you're still in a position where you can... Erm, turn a corner, you know. You're still not locked into a career path, so you can switch into one that's better for you!" Ember felt a bit lighter, but there were still some unresolved things bothering her. "So what, I just redo my entire education? Three years to move into another field? I'm not doing that." Right. He's just talking bull to appease me. Like they always do. But his eyes lit up now.

"Well, yeah, for most jobs. But I remember saying something about true diversity a few moments ago. Social Services and the Military, I believe. They do have a certain type as well, yeah, but that's, like, four in ten people. Most of the others come from all walks of life." That does make sense. Both of them require a wide range of skills, and they're fairly popular among everyone. Wait... "How do you know that? Didn't you also just graduate?" His eyes widened again, like everything was going according to plan. For some reason, though, Ember didn't mind playing into his hands right now. "That is true. I'm fresh out the gate, like you. But my brother graduated some three years ago. Organization and Management. Boring study, boring job, boring people. He was really into music and a loud, happy person before, but a few months after he'd started work, every time he'd visit he looked... empty, sad. Worst part of it was the smile he'd put on. He knew he was my light back then, but never realized how bad he was at hiding his problems."

The stranger looked down at his hands and massaged his fingers. "We constantly tried to cheer him up, but nothing ever worked. He'd always just come back looking depressed. We thought... I thought he'd... Anyways, at some point, while my uncle was visiting, he offered to tour my bro around the military base he was stationed at. After some convincing, and believe me, my uncle convinces like a cult leader, my brother agreed and took a day off to do it. I never found out what came of it, until a few months later my uncle and brother showed up to a family gathering in full uniform! And the best thing was, he was smiling again. Like, really smiling! Apparently my uncle had introduced him to some tech nerds at the base and they hit it off. Talked about Neo-Mouvement Deepcore Jazz. No one ever talked to him about his favourite music properly, not even his old friends!" He's really into this. I suppose I should be happy for him.

"I know I probably seem rally ecstatic about this, but... You know, I am! After months of sadness, after being so sure... After all that, he turned around and became the happy relaxed guy I remembered, the joyful bro that I loved." Tears welled in his eyes. Wow, he really is genuine about this. If it helped his brother that much... "You really think the military'd be good for me?" The tall stranger looked up again. "Uhm, yeah- The military, or civil services, whichever suits you more. You'd have a far greater breadth of personalities to make acquaintance with. Just depends on what you prefer, I guess. I can only really attest to the EDF, but I'm sure the other one's just as good." There was that feeling again. Warm and comforting. Is this hope? No, no way. I wouldn't make it in either... right? "Are you really sure about this?" He straightened up and looked at her very seriously.

"That stuff about being an empath? That was all a dumb excuse to talk to you. When I was going by, and I saw the look on your face, it reminded me of my brother. He had that same depressed look that told me all about his future. I felt hopeless the first time 'round, but now I actually know how to help with that. And I will, believe me. Doesn't matter what I end up doing, where I go or what I become, whenever I see someone who I can tell is in the same position, I will help them. Because there's people in their lives that will probably be just as happy about it as I was when I got my bro back." The feeling exploded from deep inside of her and filled her whole body. Her lips curled upwards, slowly forming a smile. Her eyes got a bit wet, and she looked away. The stranger smiled. "Well, I can see that my work here is done. But know that I'll be here if you need me again. Have a good night, or, uh, morning, I guess. It's a bit past midnight." And just like that, he stood up and walked away into the darkness, like some phantom of hope.

It was only when the wind rushed over her again that Ember realized she was alone once more. Now it felt much colder than before, but it didn't bother her much. All she had to do is find a cosier place. Home would be best. She got up and walked a few steps, but turned around to look at the bench. She would remember this place, she knew. The wind, the darkness on the horizon, the moons dancing in the sky and painting the fog. And whoever that stranger was, him most of all. "The military, huh..." She said aloud, and slowly walked away.