It was currently a little bit past 8, on a cold winter night.

He has been sitting in this train now since about an hour, and it would take the train another hour until it arrived at its destination, the town where he goes to university.

At first, he was kind of annoyed that he had to ride the train for a little bit over two hours, but now he is used to it, besides he only has to take the train once or twice a month.

So, it wasn’t as bad as he first thought it would be.

In fact, he sorts of started to enjoy the ride. It was one of the only times where he could sit out his thoughts, read a book or just sleep, without the constant feeling that he is wasting time.

This was the only time where he could truly relax, calm down and reflect.

But it wasn’t always like that. The first semester, he was still riding the train with a female friend, now his girlfriend, who also studies at the same university.

It was kind of silly now that he thinks about it. He only chose to go to this specific university because he wanted to be closer to her. Because he was, and still is, head over heels in love with her. He first met her at his part time job while he was still in school. They were both the same age, with only a few month differences, and while he was still in finishing school, she was already halfway finished with university. It wasn’t that he was stupid or anything, quit the opposite in fact, he was the second best in his class. She was just so smart. She managed to skip a few grades, graduated also a few years before him, and started university early.

The reason why she was working at the same part time job as him is pretty simple.

She needed money.

And because she came down every weekend, and every holiday she decided to take a part time job in her hometown. The reason why she came down every weekend was also very easy. She wanted to meet up with a few friends over the weekend, her main PC was at home and, the main reason, she hated her flat. And who could blame her? Her flat was an overpriced, small and bad located piece of shit. Rats in the walls, noisy neighbours and no real furniture; the last one being her fault, because she refused to furnish the flat. He always smiled a bit whenever he thought back to how much she got angry over the flat, the university or him. It was always quite cute and also charming to see her get angry and complain, and yet at the same time she always managed to mix a little bit of sarcasm and wit into her complaints. She never went the easy way to insult something or someone. No, she always did it in such a smart and witty way, never truly insulting someone but still making clear that she was angry and/or annoyed, that he always felt kind of ashamed of his own insults. He was always the direct type, he said what he thought. And he had no issue insulting someone directly. And that got him into trouble more often than not. But after meeting her, he learned of new and interesting ways to insult someone, or something, without getting into trouble, or at least most of the time.

The first time they met, they barely talked or interacted with each other. He was new at the job and she was told to show him a few things. So, she showed him, he listened and that was it. But after a week or so he overheard how she talked about upgrading her PC.

And he, of course, was kind of curious. It was his first time that he heard someone talking about upgrading their PC in real life. All his friends were either console gamers, or never bought they PCs already built, and he was the same. He didn’t build his first PC, he bought it.

Besides, how often do you hear a woman talking about gaming and other nerd stuff?

Sure, he knew a few women who were also gaming, but most of them where either crazy or…, ok just crazy. And not the interesting, or funny kind of crazy, but the bat shit kind of crazy. Always one step from the mental asylum. Now that he thought about it, every time a girl either showed interest in him or his interests, they either turned out to be crazy or dated his best friend, broke up with him and then went crazy.

Anyway, back to the topic. He heard her talk, got interested and joined the conversation.

And not long after that talk, they realized that they were quite similar. They had the same kind of humour, liked memes, liked the same kind of books and movies and they could talk for hours without ever running out of topics. And they hated social interactions.

They started with talking at work, went on to exchange numbers to playing games together after work. They also did some sports together, like riding bicycle, running or basketball.

He didn’t know when it happened, but at some point, he started to develop feelings for her, and these feelings slowly but surely became love. But his love just wouldn’t bloom, despite his best efforts. Because he was too shy and inexperienced, and she didn’t seem too interested in him they started to drift apart, just shortly after they started to do things together. And because she had already quit her job, she had to put all her effort into learning after all; they met and talked less and less.

That’s when he decided to go to the same university like her. He already decided to go to university, just not which one. So, he went with hers, as stupid as it is. When he told her that he would go to the same university as her was her first reaction, of course, if he was joking and why this university. After he told her some made up reasons, she kind of accepted it, but from time to time she would call him stupid for choosing this university when he could just attend the one in their hometown. They would always meet up at Friday and Sunday evening and take the train together.

This was his highlight of the week, something he looked forward to. And yet that time was also limited, because she was nearly finished, so he had to take the initiative and asked her out. At first, he feared that she would turn him down, and so he took his time, but after some time he couldn’t take it anymore, he had to ask her out.

So, he waited for them to get on the train back home and that’s when he asked her. And she said yes.

Oh, how happy he was. He couldn’t believe it; it was just like a dream, a beautiful dream.

Or at least that should have been his reaction. Instead, he was frozen solid in his seat and suppressing tears. Not tears of joy, but of sadness, of rejection, because he was so sure that she would reject him. It took him a nearly five minutes to realize that she said yes. And at that point she, his now girlfriend, was already questioning if her answer was really the right one.

The rest of the ride was just like always; they talked, joked and watched a movie on a laptop together. And yet it felt completely different, it felt more natural, more relaxed and he enjoyed it way more than usual.

Four months after they started dating, they decided to move in together. There was no particular reason for that decision, sure her flat was as bad as a flat can get, but it was enough for her, especially now that she was nearly finished. For some reason though, it felt like it would be the right move to make. So, right after she finished university, they searched a new flat for them to live in. The search for a new apartment wasn’t as easy as they hoped, but after some time they managed to find a good one. And shortly after they moved in together, she found a job.

And they lived happily ever after.

Not really though. They still have a lot to manage. He was still working on his teachers’ degree, and she was still only getting the used to her job. From time to time they would be both so stressed that they had hardly any time for each other for a week or even more. At some point they didn’t talk for three days, simply because he had to study, and she was busy with work. He would be lying if he said that that didn’t faze him one bit, but that’s just how life is. Besides, they made up for it right after they had time again.

That was probably the best weekend in his life.

This brings him to the reason why he is alone today.

It’s because she has to work over the weekend. Normally he would use the time alone in the flat to study, but this weekend he was invited by his friends to have a few drinks, and he just couldn’t refuse. It was also the semester break, which meant he had nothing to do, so he told her about his plans to go and visit his friends and family over the weekend, and left.

She wasn’t too thrilled to have to work while he was out making an embarrassment of himself.

Or so he would have thought, but she actually didn’t mind it. Because she was going to run long hours in the lab, and the moment she returns she would just go to sleep, so it didn’t matter to her if he was there or not. When they first started dating, he would have had doubts if she even loved her, but after a year he now knows that’s just how she is.

And that’s just as lovely as the rest of her.

And so, he went back home, got drunk, had his little accident, and now he was on his way back.

It wasn’t so bad; it has been some time since he did something with the boys.

But he would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss her. It has become so natural for her to be around him that he started to feel a little lonely.

Only ten more minutes and he would be at home.

He couldn’t wait.