I made my way back to the Dark Elf encampment after a quick pitstop at the waterfall to freshen up. It wasn’t a warm reception as I had to explain how I got out of my “tent”. I thought it better to just say I was summoned from my slumber and made it back here when I awoke. Leyara didn’t have an issue, but the rest of the male soldiers made it clear they liked me less than something they liked VERY little. What is their problem?

A short while later, everyone was gathered around the fire in a large pavilion that had a large map on a table off to one side. I think this was my first ever war meeting. I remember as a kid, I lined up all of my action figures on two sides of some elaborate battle field and prepared them for war. I always thought traps and “clever” tactics were so cool. Now here I was in a real meeting.

“Before we lost contact with our spies in Lumberton, there were 4 confirmed sightings of Foliora. We lost their trail once we entered the rain zone.”

I raised my hand like a school boy. That one soldier rocked my perception of reality and created so many questions at the same time. We had definitely reached some of the fantasy tropes from back home. Is it bad I’m a little excited?

“What is a Foliora and what exactly is a ‘rain zone’?”

Everyone stopped and turned to stare at me. The worst part was the faces of pure pity mixed in with the contempt covered ones. Dog had his head literally buried in the ground with his derriere front and center and on display.

“Foliora is what we call ourselves. Dark Elves is a human term for those of us from the Sea of Leaves. Lumberton has a curse on it that causes it to rain there year-round. The rain and the magic tend to disrupt most tracking or tracing magic.”

“Thank you for explaining that. We were actually on our way to Lumberton when our paths crossed. I wanted to get some information about the land, but then you solved that problem. We would gladly assist you in your mission if you’ll have us.”

I turned myself into a bat and flew around. I landed on the ground and turned into a cat and slinked myself around Leyara’s boots to which I received a series of disgusted looks and sucked teeth from the nearby soldiers. The ones who were not angry were amazed at the rapid transformation.

“I can at least be muscle if nothing else. Oh, I also have this which might help you guys.”

I reached into my magic pocket for what I was after. I don’t know if I was treating it like a limited resource in an RPG but I was not trying to use items from my magic pocket. I only had one of each item, that seems like a collection, not a resource. This particular item though I could afford a few uses. I pulled a large flask of a silver sparkling liquid from my cloak and handed it to the princess.

“What is this?”

“I’m pretty sure its invisibility juice?”

Every mouth in the room dropped open. Even the angry guys were amazed. My chest puffed proudly as Leyara shoved the flask back into my hands. I deflated immediately.

“We can’t use that! Do you know how much one single drop of this is worth? One drop is worth 1200 gold and lasts for 8 hours. This flask is more valuable than anything in the entire Sea of Leaves!”

I turned the unadorned flask over in my hands. The only remarkable thing about it was the “E.L.” carved into the middle of the bottle.

“Can we just use a few drops then for the operation? Think of it as a gift from me to the Sea of Leaves as a gesture of good faith in our new found alliance?”

The other Foliora murmured excitedly. The energy in the room seemed to have shifted. My approval ratings went through the roof after a brief huddle by Leyara and some of the more senior officers.

“We would like to take you up on your offer. This would be an immense boon to my people and we would owe you a great debt. Whatever price you might name that we are able to fulfill.”

Whatever? I would have to think on that.

“Why is the potion so valuable? Can’t people just make this?”

“Many alchemists have tried and failed. The only sure way to get Invisibility potion is to boil the last breath of the undead. This much potion would literally be the last breath of millions of undead creatures. Very few people can even defeat one undead much less this many.”

The value of this dawned on me pretty heavily. There was millions and millions worth of gold in the flask. I was already a millionaire. No need to be greedy.

“Then all the more reason to share! Something this hard to get wants to be tried a little for posterity’s sake.”

Camp broke pretty quickly after that. The Foliora had a cultural thing about refusing gifts or rather the inability to do so. The first attempt as it turned out was a feat of great shame that Leyara took upon herself to spare her men. I had to find a way to restore her honor somehow. I would have to follow up on that later.

They didn’t lie about its effectiveness either. One drop from a small syringe completely erased the presence of the individuals. The user of Invisibility Potion was granted transparency, erasure of all scent and muffling any sounds produced. Until the stuff wore off the only way to be seen or heard is to have some of the stuff yourself or a skill called, “Undead Vision”. The latter was pretty rare in these parts.

We left shortly after. Leyara was in the lead with a team of 6 other warriors. We could see each other clear as day. We each had a silver glow when seen by others under the potion’s effect. After we traveled for about an hour it started raining, and after another 10 minutes it was pouring. We had definitely entered the “rain zone”.

“People live in this? How does anything get done?”

“You will see shortly Vampir. Humans are resourceful.”

A grin came across her face as the town of Lumberton came into view. I wasn’t expecting the 25-foot stone walls and the giant portcullis gate, but what I really wasn’t expecting was the enormous and I mean fucking big animal rug that was stretched over the top of the entire town. The giant pelt that was actually thousands of pelts stitched together was stretched from the top of each of the small towers at the connecting point of each wall with one enormous rod extending from the middle of the mega pelt to the ground.

“IT’S A BIG ASS UMBRELLA!”

I fell to my knees I laughed so hard. Bwhahahahahahahaha! This is the simplest fix to a problem I have ever seen!

Ok, maybe it wasn’t that funny, but the simplistic absurdity of the situation just caught me slipping. I laughed until my sides hurt and the Dark Elves scowled at me again. All jokes aside the place also smelled terrible. The wet animal skins kept the rain off the buildings, but it also wasn’t a proper solution to the problem. The whole place smelled like, well, Ron.

“How are we going to find these lost Foliora? This rain eliminates any chance of tracking them, unless you guys got some trick I don’t know about.”

I guess at this point, I should mention that for some reason, Ron can see us clear as day and the invisibility potion didn’t work on him either, so he is the only visible one in the group. Not only was the little monster visible but he also wouldn’t shut up about those damn bones! I’m going to get the damn bone then strangle him with it!

“Ron, shut up or leave. This is an ‘infiltration’ mission. Unseen AND unheard.”

He cowered in fear at the reprimand and immediately relieved himself. The smell mingled with the peltbrella, as I was calling it now. Just me. Leyara reached down and scratched Ron’s chin to which the little bastard smiled at me tauntingly.

“I am sorry Dog; the smell is terrible and we have to track people with no real trail.”

“What do you mean no trail?”

The look on Dog’s face was bewildered. I could tell I said something ridiculous to him because his face was battling itself again. I saved him the trouble. I was already annoyed.

“I mean that the rain washes away their footprints, their scent, and makes any other trace exceptionally hard to even locate much less track.”

“Oh…”

The group turned away and began edging to the portcullis gate to enter and begin the search. They didn’t have a trail to follow, but they would search every nook and cranny they could while the invisibility lasted. Ron began shivering as we entered through the gate.

The only guards were two middle aged men with bellies and beards that held up lanterns and waved people through. The gate itself was big enough for two carts or so to fit through. Under the potion’s effect we strolled in right next to a cart that got passed through.

Our group stole away down into the first dark alley we could find out of the rain.

“I’ll take Dog and go search the west; your group goes east. We will sweep north and meet outside the Lord’s castle.”

To disdain of all of the other Foliora soldiers, Leyara spoke up. Ron had essentially shaken to the point of seizure. What is wrong with this damn dog?

“I will go along with Lord Vickus so that I may watch Ron’s back.”

“I’ll accept the company.”

I smiled at the scowling soldiers and turned away as our makeshift strategy meet ended. Once the Dark Elves departed, I turned to check on Ron.

“What is wrong with you?!”

“P-p-p-pleas…”

“Please what?”

“P-p-please don’t be mad.”

“Wait, stop there.”

I cut him off and kneeled down next to him. I grabbed each side of his head and stared at his squished face.

“You are a good dog, Ron.”

I layered my voice with a bit of Mesmer to relax him, but this guy. Tears streamed down his face alongside green snot from his nose that somehow smelled worse than the peltbrella. I sucked it up and scratched his ears, his chin and even his chest.

Ron dozed off against my leg as I pet him. Leyara even joined in at one point to which, Ron visibly melted. He is always afraid and it makes him do things that make me mad. I had to break the cycle. Besides, I always wanted a dog to out prance the one outside my apartment.

“What did you need to tell me now?”

“Hmmm? Oh, yes…”

“…”

“Mmmm that is the spot. How are you so good at this? You’ve done this before haven’t you?”

“…”

“Ron, what did you need to tell me?”

“Oh yeah, I can smell the Dark Elves in this town. There are three of them. Besides the invisible ones. There is also a Troll here. How fun.”

“Wait, you can what? Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“You were in a bad mood Master.”

“I’ll work on that bud.”

I gave him a good scratch before we set off following Ron’s sniffer. Maybe, he isn’t too bad after all. I’ll get some of those beef bones on our way home after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Vampir Darknaciel

Date of Birth: 23rd day of the month Reign in the year 3015

Race: Vampire (Human)

Hair: Black

Eyes: Red (Unholy Glow)

Current Value: 239.9 million Gold Coins, Approx. 150 trillion Gold Coins worth of Invisibility Potion

Magic Pocket: Pretty much one of everything (unverified), Journal of a Madman

Powers: Voice Mesmer, Animal Transmutation, Strength of 1000 men, Speed = PDQ, Immunity, Kinesis(Psycho), vaporizes people in a hissy fit, Derbegun (Cleaning Spell), Hemiowgun (Healing Spell), Potentially a Time stopping power of epicness!

Weaknesses: The Sun, Holy Water, Dog, Dog’s farts, cries blood, Dark Elf Princesses, Grave Box at Witch’s

Strengths: Barfights, Takes arrows to the chest like a champ, Digging Holes, Fungus House Demolition, Dog he is proud of