Borgarsandr, day 9

Kari's gambit

A morning with Iselin when she doesn't try anything erotic. I both appreciate it and not. I also makes me a little worried for next time. Didn't even notice when Iselin stepped up.

Ninja.

Hear voices and through the window I see Iselin talking to Kari out in the garden. Huh... I think someone is trying to get instructions in posture and etiquette, because Iselin is sitting like a copy of Kari. Good initiative by Iselin. There is a great chance we will have to cope with nobility and upper class people in the future. I take the opportunity to sketch a little more. Will hopefully be able to make the first batch of black powder today, and maybe try to make crucible steel.

I smiled inside when Iselin asked if she could get lessons in etiquette, posture, way of speaking, etc. She's so worried that Robert will be ashamed of her, and really hope to be worthy enough that he will take her as his concubine. I guess its just too hard for her to imagine that he might marry her, especially as his first wife. But I'm glad that she takes such things seriously, its useful to immediately achieve a certain respect and dignity when you enter a room. Also gives me the opportunity to have conversations with her for my own sake. Sit facing the house so I can see if anyone else comes out, but we're alone. Iselin gives me such a nice opening by saying I'm so blessed in life, and I draw an honest deep sigh and let the mask fall enough. The change in me is so abrupt and as expected it suprises Iselin. Time to take action, and be bold and brave.

"Iselin, you don't know enough about life in the upper classes, of nobility and women there. Yes, some become powerful and prosperous, but that is often just the outwards part you see. The part they want you to see. Closed doors and privacy hides so much ugliness, which I think you can understand - you have worked for the rich.

I'm not blessed.

Yes; I eat good food, own and wear nice clothes and these jewels. I am educated and have lived in the castle all my life, but my life has never been my own. Many slaves have more freedom than me. My name Alfgeirsdotter is completely made up, and I have had more time to study history and talk to scholars than most, and there is no one with that name in nobility, and it sounds made up. You probably know who your parents are. I don't, but I guess my father is a powerful man who had a child with a lower but still important enough woman, who after birth didn't want to acknowledge the relationship as I was a daughter, and my mother couldn't acknowledge her illegitimate child to be more desirable for marriage, or my mother died in childbirth.

The royal family took care of me, and I belong to a group of women who, from birth, are shaped to become the perfect concubine for someone in the nobility. Most often, women like me become gifts to someone in the royal dynasty, or to some powerful man whom the King wants to reward or bind against himself. We are valuable. There are currently six other women and girls like me. I'm the oldest with a seven year margin, the second oldest was given away a little more than four years ago, when she was 16 years old. We grew up together and she was my only real friend, and I have since been alone, the only ones I have been able to really talk to are my guards Gunhild and Hillevi - they have protected my purity. The other six are between 3 and 15 years old and the oldest will probably be given away within two years. I've helped teach them.

From birth, our future is decided by others. On my fifth birthday, I swore allegiance to the one who rules the Royal dynasty until I am given away, and I have repeated that oath each birthday since. It has repeatedly been forced into us to be completely faithful to our Lord or man. To serve well. To obey. To cherish our man no matter what, and be happy to give him children. When I'm eventually given to a man, I will serve him well and obey. I don't have to be happy or love him to serve him well, but I will try my absolute best, or pretend to even in private. Which man it will be, as for many women, isn't my choice, but I can't oppose the King's choice even if it is the worst imaginable cruel man. I can't be a bad gift. I will serve well, obey and atleast pretend to love that man, whatever he might do to me, while I give him children, and help him become successful, for the rest of my life.

My future has long been unstable. Every time I have been summoned or introduced to a man at a feast or event, I have wondered if this is the time I'll be given away. If this is my future man and master, and I have heard rumors about how unpleasant some of them are.

Iselin; for a woman like me, I am old. I turned 22 just a few days before we first met, older than any woman like me have ever been, with a three year margin, and I should have been given away five or six years ago. As I get older, my value decrease and I have become more jaded as I fear for my future. One thing we are trained in, is to be able to subtly work behind the curtains, cover for gaps in our man's knowledge and plan for our man's well-being, and I believe I am too good at this. But that makes it harder for the King to give me to someone close to him, or who is powerful or greedy for power. You don't give a knife to someone who will use it to stab you in the back. The King knows this, and has kept me isolated from him and those with influence around the King, because I am not a knife - I am a bow.

So I expect to be given away to someone far from here, probably to nobility across the sea to the south, because I have been taught the language there and what I've heard about life there, it isn't something I want. But far from the King - more exotic, and more valuable. Where a new exotic concubine who might birth a son would be appreciated, or where an exotic mistress for the bed would be welcomed. Where my knowledge or mind doesn't matter.

My first time with a man will be when I'm raped far away from everyone I know, and I will serve well, obey and be faithful to that man. I will do my best to love him and give him children. That's my destiny, and I've known it since I was eight."

Iselin seems shocked and looks for something to say but she remains silent; she has probably never imagined a 'noblewoman' as I would be in such a situation. We sit there in silence and hear birds chirping in the sunshine. I decide to go a little further, if nothing else, it won't really change my situation negatively, but it can make it very positive, and probably gives an answer to the question I have been thinking about: Is Robert a stick, knife, spear or bow - and can he accept victory with restrictions?

"Iselin, I'm here as your teacher because I fill the need, was available with short notice, I am a woman and not a man, and I am trusted by the King. I have no guards so you will be less on your guard against me, and so I can sleep in the same house as you. So I can discover some of Robert's secrets or weaknesses and report it, while I try to seduce him. The King certainly hopes that Robert will desire or rape me, so he can force Robert to either become a slave or force him to serve the King. But in his zeal the King has grossly misjudged Robert, both in his interests, integrity and sejd. I expect that Robert from the beginning knew why I am here - except as a teacher - and think that you all have been given discreet orders to not leave me alone in the house, or let me see his things.

I also believe he would never force himself on me, even if I walked around naked and all the rest of you were away. I hoped to be able to seduce Robert to change my own future and become his, but already on the first evening I had understood the situation and the dynamics here, and started to understand Robert.

Iselin; I would never want to go between you and Robert. That is a loosing move, and if I tried to seduce him, you all would loath me, and Robert would end up rejecting me.

But I am a bow, and I don't need to have contact with the King or his closest to be able to reach him, and in his zeal the King has made the mistake of giving my quiver a couple of arrows. I'm convinced that Robert's Academy will be supported, because I have subtly chosen to present a certain impression and via intermediaries given the King second hand information, so that it becomes more credible. Hillevi, the woman I spoke to down in the harbor yesterday, has been fed to reinforce this angle, and I will reinforce it in a week when I will give my report. The answer Robert is supposed to get, is that the King supports the Academy, and the King will ensure that there is plenty of manpower and resources to speed up the construction a couple of days from here. To not bind the Academy in any way to the Royal dynasty, but rather put up protective barriers in between and try to enjoy the profits from a distance, and prevent someone like Jarl Myrun Skiringe from claiming the Academy or marrying Robert. It's the best for everyone in the long run. For Robert, you, the King, the Kingdom and the World."

Iselin's face is quite entertaining to see; guess she never really thought about things like this, but I've not had anything else to think about for many years, and fortune favors the bold.

"I want to know that I have contributed to something good in this life, and not just be another exotic toy that gives birth to children. Robert is such a wonderful good man, and you are a wonderful woman. You look so cute together, so happy and in love, and I want you to have a good happy future together, and Robert and his Academy will make the world better. It feels good to be able to contribute to this. I also hope that no matter where I am, that a rumor reaches me that Iselin Vigdisdottir has become Robert Arnessons wife. Then my life has had a real meaning."

When they call us in to eat, Iselin still hasn't said anything to me. I hope I didn't give her too much of a shock, but the world is as it is, and if she is to become Robert's companion, she must learn to help him navigate social circles and intrigue. Hopefully I will be there to help them.

I don't know what Iselin and Kari talked about, but considering how Iselin has behaved since then - I'm worried. It is as if some of Iselin's joy and energy has disappeared, and it's clear enough for me to react to it, and I see the looks she gives Kari, so I choose to talk to her after dinner. Once inside my bedroom, Iselin tell me what Kari said. Ask Iselin to tell me everything as thoroughly as she can. I imagine that Kari formulated it better than Iselin does, but on the whole I was right about her. Shouldn't be surprised that such women are 'cultivated'.

However, that she would choose to use her 'arrows' against the King is unexpected, if its true. It may be a ploy, but what does she have to gain from telling? She seems far too skilled for it to be a coincidence or a mistake. I don't think she is lying about big things, if even anything. The best truth, is the truth told more favorably, but not boastfully or with lies. Just tell the truth advantageously. The King shouldn't have gotten her to say all that, but she has something to gain from it. Partly by showing her skill in several ways. Partly by taking some of the credit for the King's decision and benevolence, no matter what he intends to decide.

DAAAMMN!!

This is just one long 'I know, that she knows, that I know etc'. I hate those. Kari has the benefits of time spent, home turf, home culture and knowledge. The only thing I can do in such a game, is to reduce my loss; because the chance of a full win is small, and there are really big losses and certainly pitfalls I probably won't be able to see. Really don't like such games about our future, and especially not when I don't know the rules or what gives points.

And I still have to play it just to figure out her angle. Damn it!

The most logical thing is that Kari wants to show her skill, her usefulness and her knowledge to impress - which means she wants something for it. Which, if what she said about herself is true, is probably a different future. A future with me, where the King will give her to me as a concubine or wife. I guess the King won't just release her from her oath. Then she is close to him and others and free to act, and as a propertyless woman without family, she has nothing to lose. Killing her would always be risky, as she is skilled and planning enough to be able to arrange something really unpleasant, and its probably a sunken cost fallacy too, since the Royal dynasty spent 22 years raising and educating her.

So the King probably prefers to bind her to someone, someone with no ill will against the King and the kingdom. With me as her man, the best thing for the King and the kingdom would be that she actually uses her skills for my interests. I trust her, she works towards my goals and protects the Academy. They win, I win and she wins.

Would be best to ask Kari, but I can't trust an honest answer. Seeing her talk to Ciara makes me a little worried. Ciara already have problems but is getting better, and what can't a master of manipulation do there? But if Kari is honest, she will only try to help Ciara. She sees me when I walk out and ends the conversation with Ciara, and Ciara gets up, takes courage and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before she goes in, so I think she got a hint from Kari we should talk by ourselves, and that I wouldn't mind. Just casually sit down opposite Kari, and looks at her briefly. Not a hint that something is different between us, no expectation, worry or curiosity, and she must have played out the upcoming discussion in her mind. Way to good pokerface. I'm so fucked if I try acting against her.

"If you are, what you give the impression of being, I have already lost in the interlectual duel that took place between me, the King and you - where at least I didn't know that you played for your own victory. So, I just wish you give me an answer, even though we both know I can't trust it to be true."

"Ask and I will answer." That may be the first real smile I've seen on her face. It may be the first honest smile anyone's seen this year.

"The King won't just free you from oath, as you have nothing to lose. So in the future you want to be my wife. Although we don't have any feelings for each other, it is something that both of us and others benefit from. You probably hope that when we spend time with each other, feelings of friendship or love will eventually grow, which honestly is quite likely from me, since you're a charming lovely woman. But at the same time you understand that for me right now - Iselin comes first, and I don't want her to feel pushed aside. So you want to be my concubine, and in the future rise to wife after Iselin hopefully have become so. Whether I want to get married or not, I need to do it since the law and culture here is as it is, and for her and mine future, and I love her enough to ask her.

You've also figured out that I'm 'not from around here' and unlike almost everyone, you realize that I could be dangerous if I was forced, and given the opportunity. You will be faithful to me because you have everything to gain from it, and I'm sitting here now confirming I understand your skill. With your solution, everyone wins something, but you of course win big. Where I come from, there are several expressions that can be summed up as: 'The key to victory isn't to choose a path to victory, but to choose so that all paths lead to victory.' So, my question is; do you want to reward your presumably future husband with a kiss, since he at least appreciates your skill and accept defeat?" I end with a resigned little smile.

Kari has a really satisfied and happy face as she calmly rise up, straightens her dress, walks around the table, gracefully sits on my lap and her eyes bore into me as she wraps her arms around my neck, and then gives me a really intense kiss, and after my tongue seeks contact with hers, she invades my mouth with so damn much tongue that I almost choke.

Oof!