Sailing to Borgarsandr, day 10

The next stage of our journey is long and may take two days, depending on how the wind is, but it is, as it is, and the journey have gone faster than Danr thought it would. At least I will have plenty of time to talk with Iselin. I ask Iselin and Ciara to modify the life preserver and sew a new one for Hagan and Ciara is happy to embroider a simple 'Hagan' on the chest in runes. Most of the coarse fabric and the bark gets used up when they make a slightly improved model with larger bark pouches since Hagan is a large man, and laced together in the bottom instead of sewn. We have no real use for the rest, but will keep the scrap fabric pieces, and the bark works as a fire starter.

On the evening we go out on deck, summon Hagan and gift him his own life preserver. He's proud and happy when he tries it on and there are some positive cheers, although I guess several of the sailors don't think it's particularly masculine, and many trust that their fate is not to drown. It's an interesting discussion I've already had with my female company. Most believe that their fate have already been woven by the Nornorna, which are the goddesses that watch over everyone and spins the threads of life. That's one of the reason they are fearsome warriors. They want to die in battle to go to Valhalla or Folkvang, but they're trying hard to not die yet and kill many enemies first, since their death must be worthy. They also want to prove that their weave hasn't run out and that they're fearless in battle. Some are berserkers that charge ahead and break up enemy formations. Showing fear is a bit of an iffy subject. It's okay to fear and show fear for some things, but not for others. Since a Viking raid almost always take place over water, they can't be afraid to sail and be out in bad weather, but it's okay to fear drowning. Drowning is a pitiful death, and you are prevented from reaching both Valhalla and Folkvang.

That a life preserver now exist as an option, might turn it into a tricky subject. Trust fate or not? With a Life preserver it might become less fearful to travel by the sea. But cold water far from land will still kill you. At the same time; shields, helmets and armour is okay to use. It's wise to protect yourself, and you should get good weapons and armour. It will be debated. Hopefully, it will still lead to life being saved and life preservers being accepted as something useful, and that a man sees it as worthwhile to come home to his family.

Bodil looks a bit interested in the vest, and as we return to the cabin I guess she would actually like one too, but it may be in the future, and I hope there won't be more long boat trips. It probably will be. I just hope that there won't. Ciara have finished her embroidery on her bag and it's impressive considering the time and the limited range of colors she have used. Iselin asks if Ciara can also embroider her name on her bag, which Ciara is happy to accept. It's probably a good thing she has something to do. I have mostly been lying and thinking and letting time go by. Among the recurring thoughts that I would have preferred to have Iselin beside me in bed, I have come up with some things I have to ask.

"Iselin, I don't know how to say this in a nice way, but I need to know..."

Again I sigh. My life has become full of them and this is harder to ask than I wanted.

"How is it with pregnancies here? What are the chances that mothers and children will die? Are there contraceptives, that is, things that stop or interrupt the formation of an inappropriate or unwanted child?"

It seems like big question, and Iselin make a couple of false starts, and continue slowly.

"There are several ways to stop unwanted children, but it often doesn't work, and several are dependent on a Völva or Fjölkunnig who is available and willing to help. There are many unwanted children - often by the man, but also by the woman. Especially if it is from a rape or with a slave. It's also dangerous to take certain cures and remedies, and they can go wrong so women die. Childbirth is dangerous. There are many men and women that want sex, but if they don't pull out in time or use the butt, it leads to unwanted children, and many mouths are difficult to feed. A man might get angry at a woman or slave who becomes pregnant if he doesn't want it, and a pregnant slave are a bad worker. Sometimes a slave is beaten in the stomach many times after a few months so the child will die. Or the baby is born and... done away with. Especially if it's a girl. Mothers often die at birth. I can't say how often, but it's not unusual."

Ciara speaks, much less shy than she usually is.

"Animal gut for men. Unpleasant and wrong to God, but works."

I didn't think they had condoms here. I thought it wasn't until the 16th century that something like this began to be used. Casanova was known to use one, but I believe he lived later. I should probably stop thinking of this as a certain age corresponding to my Earth. Too much is wrong and it's definitely not a pure Viking Age or even the Middle Ages as I know it.

"I know a little sejd thing that works for women, even a couple of days after sex, and it works for many years. I guess it would make it easier for women who want sex, but don't wish to get pregnant."

Wide eyed and cautiously Iselin confirm:

"It would be terribly valuable for many women. It would be valuable for the men who have women they want to have sex with, but are afraid of having children with. It's powerful Sejd."

"It is, but it's nothing that a woman can get in place herself - I think. On the other hand, they can take it out, if it's done correctly and there isn't a problem. It's a small sejd thing that must be placed in the uterus where the baby grows, that is through the woman's vagina. Someone has to help her and it should be a woman. What happens is, that in the first months the woman will bleed a little more and the first days can be unpleasant. How should this be tested and make people understand that it works, and how can I, as a man, spread it? What do you think about this: I will try to create something that a Völva or other sejdwoman can do, but I must figure out a good safe way. Both to make it work, and so others can learn and safely duplicate it for a woman who wants it. I need contact with women who treat women, and help them with childbirth."

"Every major village has at least one woman who does this, and it's no more difficult than asking around for a Fjölkunnig. This is an very important sejd and something that many women will be very grateful to be able to get."

"Thank you for your help with this. It's something I want to test and spread. Iselin, I have another thing I need to talk to you alone about, but I need a little time for myself first. I'll open and signal you."

"Of course!" they both cheerfully say. Ciara surprises me. She's become much more confident and energetic. She might have felt some kind of release when she cried out yesterday, but time will tell. I can only imagine her invisible scars. Anyway, she seems determined to do a good job as a maid, and seems pleased with my little gift. But the gift signals that she's important to her master.

I open the door and see Iselin sitting with Ciara and Alith on the bench, but Iselin apologizes and immediately stands up when she sees me looking at her. Bodil, who was leaning against the wall outside the cabin, straights herself up as soon as I opened, but I just signal that she should relax again. We're sailing, and I think it's unnecessary they're standing guard, but they think one of them should, so I let them. If you have guards and pay them to keep you safe - you should listen to them. I tell Bodil that she will probably hear some funny music from inside the cabin, but to ignore it. No one comes in before we come out.

After freeing Iselin a few days ago - isn't it more? - , I have decided that I must entrust myself to her and tell her my story, even if it's only partially. I've only known her for a week but she is the one I know best, and she's smart and have proven to come up with creative solutions. I might as well, because I'm clearly not an Elf, and even if I guess there is nothing but elves in the world - no matter what the people here believe - I need someone who knows my story and can act as my guide to Alfheimr. Iselin is without a doubt the most suitable, and I can't continue to half-ass my way through this world. So we sit opposed each other on the beds.

"Iselin, what can you tell me about the worlds?"

Iselin looks a little questioningly at me, like why does she need to tell me this? But not the first time I ask funny questions or do funny things, and she replies:

"There are several different worlds that are all held together by the great world tree Yggdrasil. At the top is Asgård which is home to the Aesir gods, led by the great Odin. Below Asgård is our world Alfheimr, home to the light elves. Then comes Midgård, the middle world where the primitive humans live. Then comes Svartalfheimr, the world of the black elves who are short, ugly and evil. At the bottom is Helheim where everyone ends up that doesn't go to Valhalla or Folkvang, ruled by Hel, daughter of Loki, but her home is in Niflheimr. Outside these five worlds there are four more. Vanaheimr is the home for Vanar gods like Freya, Frey and Njord. Jotunheim is home to the ice giants, but they're only a problem for the humans or the gods - they can't reach Alfheimr without traveling through their worlds. Muspelheim is the realm of fire and home of the fire giants and is ruled by Surtr. They're also just a problem for the gods and humans. The last world is Niflheimr, land of the cold fog, where cold-blooded murderers, those who break their word, and other unpleasant people end up. Bifrost connects the worlds and is guarded by Heimdal."

"What do you know about Midgård?"

"Not much, just that it's home to the primitive hairy humans."

I take off my shirt and point at myself with both hands, showing my ears, while I look her serious and meaningful in her eyes. It takes a few seconds then a light goes up for Iselin, and slightly shocked and silent she just says;

"You're a human from Midgård."

I nod, and Iselin is just shocked and silent, so I start telling:

"I am a human from Midgård. That's why I'm so hairy and have round ears without tips. You know when the sky lit up with beautiful colors five days before we met?"

Iselin slowly nods, still speechless. The Northern Lights is a subject we talked about, it's been a big subject since it happened. Now she knows more.

"That was when I came here to Alfheimr. I have more hair than the average human, and a long time ago Midgård was primitive, and to be honest some parts still are. But it's about a thousand years since Midgård looked like it does here. Midgård have advanced so much much more than here. The world I was born and raised in, is so completely different than here. You can't understand how much the difference is. I can show you what Midgård looks like today, but it's only if you really really want it, for the shock you feel now is nothing compared to it. It can shatter your world view, and how you look at yourself, Alfheimr and the Gods. So think about it carefully and for a long time."

Iselin stares and slowly nods, still speechless. She got one hell of a shock. But then again, I got one too, two weeks ago.

"Do you remember that night in Jarl Steinnes hall? You heard me talk about trying to figure out the mysteries of nature? In Midgård, many, many humans have done so in the last thousand years, and there probably arn't many great mysteries left. Much of what's called sejd here in Alfheimr, is in Midgård primitive facts that everyone know or can easily be read. It's as given as water is wet. You know that it is possible to extract iron from stones and make tools from iron. It's what we call a technology. The art of doing something and really understanding why it works.

Midgård technology is so advanced that here in Alfheimr there are no words to describe it. We have so many more words to describe things, like the word technology, and need to invent new words all the time. Every year there are more and more words to describe new things and thoughts. There are two Midgård expressions that fit: 'A sufficiently advanced technology is Sejd' and 'Sejd is just technology we don't understand'. So, I don't do sejd, I'm using knowledge and technology. I can give you a little bit of insight into Midgård technology that is safe and hopefully not too much of a shock. If you wish."

Iselin has nodded a little affirmatively but stayed completely silent. She quickly nods and say: "I wish it".

"You know what music is. You've heard it played and sung. I've heard you sing and you have a lovely voice. If anyone here in Alfheimr wants to hear music, they have to preform it themselves, hire a musician to play for them, or visit where musician plays. We do that in Midgård too, on a scale that is huge and because we want to, but we don't have to do it. We can get almost any music we want, at any time, and we have so much more choice and types of music than here. So many more instruments with sound like you can't even guess. Come and lie down here with your head on my thighs, close your eyes at first, and try to relax. Just lie still and trust me. I'm here and it's just music, but music in a way you arn't used to hearing."

I show with that she should lie down on my side and with her head in my lap. Iselin quickly comes over and lies down on my bed, and rests her head on my thighs. I put my hand on her stomach and she grabs it. I feel how she breathes rhythmically, how she closes her eyes and seems anxious but expectant, her beautiful hair spreads out over my legs and the bed. She's so incredibly gorgeous.

With my other hand, I discreetly take out the cell phone under the pillow and place it on the pillow where she can't see it. It's already started and I have made a playlist with some simpler pieces of music. A piano slowly begins to produce notes and play a calm song that sounds okay even with the phone's tiny speaker without bass. The cabin is filled with music, as Ludovico Einaudi's 'Nuvole bianche' plays.

Iselin's beautiful eyes flies open and she just stares at me, as we listen to the piece. The song ends and another begins to play, a piano and a violin begin to combine and play 'Sad Romance'. Feels way too apt when Iselin has her head on my lap and we look at each other; I'm starting to get feelings for her. How can I not? I wonder how she feels about me now. Now that she knows I'm no Elf.

"I can stop and start, exactly when I want or change to other music and change how loud it sounds. We use the word 'volume' to describe how loud a sound is. 'Turn up the volume' means to make it sound more louder."

Which I show by raising my hand, lowering and pausing. I lift up and down again and start, and I lower and raise the volume. When the song is almost over, I stop.

"All good?" Iselin nods. "What you've heard now are two pieces of music that I chose because it's more like music you are used to, and I like them. The next two will be more different, but it's still just music, but more people playing instruments in a way you arn't used to. Do you want to continue?"

It's hard to interpret her face because she seems to have been really touched by 'Sad Romance'. She's not really prepared for Lindsey Stirling & Peter Hollen's 'Game of Thrones'. It sounds like there is a whole choir in here with us, and I can see her eyes and head twitch a little but she relaxes after a while. Epica's 'Canvas of Life' comes next, but she sees that I sing along to it and obviously knows the lyrics even if it's in a language she doesn't understand, and a symphony orchestra that slowly appears is different but gradual and impressive, not to mention the choir that all of a sudden is just here with us. When the song falls silent, the sound returns from outside, and I put the phone away in the corner under the pillow. Creaking wood, wind, faint voices, birds chirping. I just sit there with Iselin's head in my lap with her staring up at me.

"Now you know a little more about me, and a couple of big secrets. I want you to be honest with me, and I want to be honest with you. To have to lie or mislead people, and especially someone close to me... it's hard and hurts. Now you understand why I don't know how certain things work here in Alfheimr. Why you need to explain some things that even children know. I learned other things in my childhood."

Iselin is still just lying and looking at me, and I have no idea how to interpret her face. But finally she releases my hand on her stomach, and quickly she has climbed up and sits straddling my thighs, with her hands gripping my head and kissing me, and then she just sits there and her beautiful eyes stare emotionally into mine.

"You are too good for your own good, but it only makes you more worthy to serve and love. You don't have to be afraid that someone will understand that you are a Human. It only makes you more special - more mysterious and powerful - but you should still keep it a secret unless someone specifically asks, or should know. In the future I will want to hear and experience more from Midgård."

I'm so damn relieved when she kiss me, that I hardly listens to her.

"Go out on deck to Ciara and I'll be there soon. Enjoy the evening sun."

It's nice to see Iselin so happy after one last kiss when she climbs off me, straightens her dress and disappear out on deck. I turn off and put my cell phone in my backpack and only then do I remember that she said 'to serve and love'... and it makes me stop and think. Would I mind her as my girlfriend? No, I would be happy. Real happy. Sure, she's a former slave and I could probably get a girlfriend or wife of higher social status in the future, but I really don't give a shit about her background. If I'm going to spend my life with someone, it must be someone I feel something for, that I enjoy just sitting next to, and that I know likes me. Personality, intelligence, humour and opinions are also important, and she seem to have them, and that Iselin's beautiful and good in bed is just a bonus. Difficult thoughts, and something I'm not really ready for yet.

I go out and see them sitting up in the ships fore castle with their backs to the railing. Alith relaxed with one knee raised and her hands on top of it. Ciara more primly with both legs pulled up and to the side. Iselin sits more like Alith with one knee up and the other leg under it. Bodil's standing guard and I ask her to go over and sit with the others in the bow. I'll soon join them. Bodil walks away and sits down with both knees pulled up in front of her with the shield rested against her side, still watching me.

In the evening sunlight that comes in over the stern and lights them up, it's a pretty sight, and I take a couple of photos with the fabric covered camera. I really wish that I could paint, so that I could save moments like this, because the camera will die and it's a beautiful picture with beautiful motifs. It's been a damn good day.