~ Illya’s POV ~

Waking up to the rays of sunlight in my eyes, I rub away the crust building up in them from sleeping. Taking in my environment I noticed that I’m in my room. Confused at having no memory of going to bed I try to review what I remember from the day before.

Quickly recounting yesterday’s events, I shot out of bed and checked my injuries. Only to find them wrapped up in bandages. After inspecting my treated wounds, I look up to see a man clad in a dark purple coat covered in feathers with plates of armour visible around his chest and limbs.

‘Berserker…’ I thought to myself.

Putting on a smile I introduced myself, “Good morning Berserker, I’m Illyasviel von Einzbern, it’s nice to meet you.”

It appears that he’s surprised from my greeting by his body language…. I think. It’s really hard to tell, but he just kept staring at me, particularly towards my injuries. ‘Ah, he wants to know how I am.’ I concluded.

” I’m fine,” I reply waving his concerns away, “It’s nothing I can’t handle, I’m the strongest Master after all” I declared with pride.

Judging from Berserker’s chuckling, it was clear he was amused by my declaration.

Puffing out my cheeks I glare at him hard, though I think it just made it that more amusing for him since he wouldn’t stop. “Just you wait! I’ll win the Holy Grail and we’ll see who’s laughing then!” I replied, thinking of how to rub it in his face when it happens.

Thinking of how I would show Berserker a piece of my mind I quickly realise I still don’t know his name. It was strange too now that I think of it, it was apparently planned for Hercules to be summoned, but looking at my Servant it’s clear to say that he isn’t the one they were looking for.

“Hey, what’s your name?” curiosity welling up within me. He seemed to pause for a moment and silently looked towards me with clear hesitation.

“I am the Reaper.” His voice still deep and cold like before.

The Reaper? Unless he’s claiming to be Death himself, there isn’t any Heroic Spirit in history holding that title from what I know, and the rest of the Einzbern’s don’t have a clue who he is or what his legend was.

“I’ve never heard of you before, what’s your real name?” I inquired.

He remained silent, looking right into my eyes, which unnerved me a little because of how his glowing purple eyes seemed to turn a shade of red for a second for no reason, all while having a cold and calculating aura around him. ‘Probably nothing…’ I assured myself.

Sighing to myself as my, ever so quiet, Servant most likely wouldn’t tell me. Catching me off guard, he spoke in a serious voice, “Why do you want to win?”

Sitting up straight on the edge of my bed with confidence I looked directly at him, “Because I’m going to prove that I am the strongest Master.”

“Don’t lie to me Illyasviel. Why are you fighting for Kiritsugu Emiya’s approval?” he asked with a slightly sharper tone.

I froze, silence hanging in the air as my mind passed through as many thoughts as I possibly could. Sifting around in my mind still in shock and confusion as I mentally questioned about his knowledge of me. How much he knows and why he does more specifically, not many people were aware that I was Kiritsugu’s daughter (anyone outside the Einzbern’s).

Breaking me out of my thoughts the Raven clothed man says, “You have nothing to prove.”

Anger rapidly forms within the mixed emotions I was currently feeling. What right did he have to look down on me? Before I could give a heated reply, he immediately carried on, cutting me off from speaking, “You don’t have to prove anything.”

As quickly as my anger came, it dispersed with confusion replacing it, “Live your life for yourself and do it the way you want to. If not, you will always remain a puppet.”

I quickly realised the point he was trying to make. Despite being family, my father left me behind, he never came back, instead he looked towards his new ‘son’. Here I was, left to be used as a tool by the rest of the Einzberns and to carry out their commands at will, all while trying to prove to my father that I am not someone to be abandoned, that I’m actually worth something. Even when he died, my goal still didn’t change. I just switched targets, instead of my father I’d show my ‘brother’ who was better. It was the only thing that kept me going.

It was strange, having to realise that my goals only chained me down to the Einzberns even further. I was trying to free myself by fighting for the approval of others, to prove I was of worth. But if I do that, then I would never be free to live since I would be carrying out the Einzbern’s wishes which aren’t truly a part of my own. I never did want the honour or glory for getting the Grail, I never cared for it.

My heart sank at the realisation that my only purpose in life was not even one of my own choosing, but rather something I was forced to accept to survive. Desperately making up some stupid mission to give myself some feeling of worth to hang on to, a reason to keep living, a purpose. But having it pointed out to me by someone else was certainly an eye opener.

Close to the edge of tearing up I whisper, “Then what do I do? I have nothing to live for if my only reason is gone. What’s the point?”

Seeming to stare off into the distance with dull eyes on my bed for what seemed like hours, which in reality was only a few minutes, I contemplated what I should do now. I mean if my only purpose has lost it’s meaning to me, then does that mean I have no purpose? Does that mean there isn’t any reason for me to continue living? No one would miss me, no one would really care, because I don’t have anyone.

Before my thoughts could continue spiralling down into an endless pit of self-destructing thoughts, a cold metallic hand began to gently caress mine while my fists were clenching tightly. I’m once again thrown into shock, because caressing my hand was Berserker.

With his cold, hard and dark exterior, I didn’t expect to receive such a comforting gesture from the so-called Reaper, both physically and emotionally as he seemed to be projecting a calming sort of aura around him as well. “You remind me of myself, used as a mere tool for others and with no purpose. So, find a new reason for living.”

It was a simple solution, it really was. There was just one problem though, “I don’t have anyone. Even if I find something to work towards, there’s no point to it if I’m still going to be alone.” Having been alone for a long time, I know for a fact that when you’re alone then you may as well not have a purpose. If there is no one there to be with you when you achieve your goals, then why achieve them at all?

“You’re not alone, not anymore.” He said softly, yet still holding its deep tone somehow.

I stare at my Servant in surprise, as my mind kept trying yet failing to register what he truly meant. By the time I finally understood and registered what had been said, my emotions got the better of me and I started crying, not from sadness but from pure joy. ‘I’m not alone!’

Pulling him into a warm embrace, I cried into his shoulder as he soothingly stroked my back. I wasn’t going to be alone, we would win the Holy Grail and I could be able to anchor Berserker down to reality with the Grail.

Little did I know that Berserker had slightly different plans on how we would stick together. I would never regret it though, that’s for sure.

As time passed by, I found my Servant to be very amusing. For one who held the title of the Reaper, one who walked a path of misery and death, here he was caring for and comforting a little girl like me. ‘Not that I’m actually a little girl.’ I mused inwardly.

“You promise right? If you promise you have to keep it. I’ll make sure you’re sorry if you break it.” I said mischievously, eyes still watery from my tears.

Chuckling softly, he responded along with what I assumed to be a smile underneath his mask, “I never break my word.”

I was happy beyond what words could express. After years of solitude (not including the Einzberns) I finally had someone to be there for me. I wasn’t alone and would never be alone again. I’d make sure he kept his word, not that I doubt it though.

“You need to rest.” Giggling to myself at the obvious attempt to get me to stop cuddling him, which was surprisingly comfortable, he slowly tucks me back into bed,

Smiling widely at my new… friend? Yes, friend seems nice… I close my eyes to get a good rest. As my conscience was slipping away from me, I didn’t notice the small blush on my cheeks and slight pounding of my heart as I thought of Berserker.

(AN: Is that a flag I see? Who knows?)

~ Reyes POV ~

‘What is wrong with me?’ I asked myself, confusion running amuck in my mind.

I didn’t understand why I was behaving so strangely. Normally I would have most likely acted apathetically to anyone else, with some form of pity possibly, but I never thought I would actually propose to stick together with the girl/woman after the war came to an end.

I’m still slightly confused on that since Illya is actually older than Shirou is despite her looks, because of her slow aging factor, meaning that she’s probably around 18 or 19 years old. Maybe older than that, but I digress.

The way I acted around her was completely different to how I usually did around others. At first, I thought it was because I simply sympathised with her since there were certain similarities between us, but that still doesn’t explain my sudden change in character.

Ever since I met her my instincts have become…. off…. I’ve felt the need to protect her far more often than I should, and to ensure no harm was to befall Illya. I had considered the possibility that my new status as a Servant may have altered my personality or something along the same line, but I threw that idea out the window when I couldn’t detect any forcibly made changes to my mindset.

One of my powers is to detect any foreign substance or influence on my body (including the mind/brain) which was obtained as a by-product of being able to deconstruct my body on a cellular level and form into a cloud of darkness.

Not entirely sure how my wraith form works, even after all these years of using it. It’s more instinctual than anything else, like walking and breathing. It’s also not affiliated with magic, so I can spam it as much as I want if I don’t get tired.

Only problem is that I can’t attack when in wraith form, it’s either on or off but I can partially affect shadow magic to some degree as well considering that I can use Death Blossom and have an inventory.

Deciding to just ignore my weird behaviour for later observation, I wash my face in the bathroom sink to refresh myself. Staring into my reflection I couldn’t but absently, and loudly, crack my finger as my hand ran through my snow-white hair and look at the deep brown eyes I had.

My hair had changed during my experimentation, but I chose to dye it black since it was harder to notice when in the dark, less risk of getting spotted if you had no headgear too.

I assumed the reason for my hair not being dyed was the fact that I died in my own world, meaning that my own body was destroyed but my soul lived on, causing my new body to hold my original characteristics compared to my altered one. Most likely it has to do with something about how my original body is imprinted within my soul since that’s how I perceive myself as. I also got rid of the goatee years ago, reminded me too much of Tony Stark.

Another observation I’ve made since my appearance here is how Illya is affected by my presence. Unlike the original Berserker, I didn’t cause any pain to her when I moved normally, but if I were to use an ability or placed into a frenzy due to my Mad Enchantment then she would start to feel the pain she felt in the original series.

This was proven by my fight against the wolves. I’m still pissed that they ripped a part of my coat, even if I could repair it, it was still a pain to do it. Usually I’d kill them for even trying to attack me, but certain things must happen, not for my sake or the story’s but for Illya’s.

…..There it is again. Why do I want to protect her? I’ll just keep ignoring my concerns, if I keep dwelling on it I’d get a headache and only more questions with no answers.

Back to the main issue though, what to do about others like Shirou, Tohka and Sakura…… ‘Doesn’t matter.’ I thought mercilessly.

In all honesty, why should I care for them? Sure, I might help them if I knew them personally, but I don’t. Only through a story, a story that might not even portray them similarly here, I’m not ignorant enough to think that everything will occur as the story did. Small or big, there are always differences.

Not only that but I’m not stupid enough to rule out the possibility that my original world was constructed from someone else’s demented imagination.

(AN: *whistling nervously*)

I never liked his view on heroes, it was always warped. Not that having the courage to take the hit in place of someone else is bad or anything, but ignoring any form of self-preservation is foolish, and even more foolish is to place others above those you feel are precious to you.

His skillset, fighting capabilities, and willingness to commit necessary evils were respectable but I still found him to be a fool. He certainly did become a hero, but he failed to protect his loved ones. I failed as well, no doubt, but he failed the moment he didn’t try to protect his closest family and friends. If you can’t do that, then there’s no point in saving anyone else.

It was probably a cruel mindset to have, but I didn’t care. I wouldn’t let Illya face the same fate as the others I failed to protect.

I blinked, once, twice. Is that what she is to me? Someone precious to me? Why? I hardly knew her, ‘but at the same time I know her very well.’ I replied to my own inner dialogue. And it was true, I didn’t know her personally before coming here but as soon as I met her, I felt as though I’ve known her for years. She was like me. She understood my pain.

This was a first for me, to be able to share a mutual understanding of the other, not that she knew of my past yet but since she’s my Master it’s highly likely that she’ll see my memories. I was a lone test subject, anyone else with me in the program died off as they couldn’t handle the stress it put on both mind and body.

It feels… refreshing? That seems to be the right word, it’s been ages since I’ve felt my emotions surface more often in such a short span of time. Maybe it’s thanks to my parents, ever since they died I’ve shut off any and all ‘unnecessary’ emotions that could interfere with my line of work. When I heard from them again from ROB, a lot of my stress had finally let itself go and it was a, liberating. A portion of my burden had lessened, it wasn’t gone though, obviously.

For now, all I could do was play things out until it’s time to move on to a different world. ROB never said anything about not bringing friends along, they even said that they couldn’t care less and I’m willing to bet that he has more authority than any other higher beings that rule this universe.

My plan for dealing with the other combatants of the war was simple. I’d destroy anyone in my way, like a true Berserker. Rather fitting class for me in all honesty, especially since I still have a high amount of bloodlust for battle. My time with the Order did more than physically alter me, but there was no point in trying to change the core of my personality, it was my own and I’d never let them reach it.

I could only grin, “Oh, what fun this will be. I get to fight against Legends, hmhmhm hehe ahahahaha!” I laughed crazily. I was lucky enough that Illya was too deep in her sleep to hear my insanity showing itself momentarily.

But still, it would be enjoyable no doubt. ”Hehehehe….”