“Eeehm, you should probably stop hugging the dragon.”

Mister butler stated unhelpfully, boringly. I turned viciously, letting my thoughts be seen clearly on my face. Through my action of sticking out my tongue. “I understand, but I really think you should stop hugging the dragon.” Hrmpf . As if. I wouldn’t stop hugging my friend for nothing in the worl- “Human, This time I will have to admit with the retarded Faun. My subjects are looking, and it is embarrassing.” I turned my head upwards, a dragon's eye mere centimeters from my face, staring expectantly at me. I smirked. “You’re embarrassed by me? Hehehe” “No, I worded that wrong. You bring shame to my great form. Please refrain from touching me and jump off.” “Hehehe nnnope.” “If you do not, I will have to take drastic measures.” I smiled in response, letting my brows do the talking. He stared back in silence. Then he rose his paw, silently, with me still hugging it. And started shaking violently. I’d like to say that I held on for dear life. But it took only two swipes before I was slung heavily down on the ground, head clouded in confusion. It took some time before any coherent thoughts could form. Even longer before I could acknowledge my surroundings. It could have been minutes. Or a second. But when I awoke, I quickly noticed several lizards looking very agitated, pointing spears in my direction. Mister butler waving his hands in front of them, screaming something. My brain hadn’t quite caught up with the concussion forming in my brain. It took mister dragon to yell in his stead for everyone to calm down. Well, calm down was the wrong word. They fell down on their knees in silent worship. Practically trembling. Huh, they really are mister dragons worshippers. ... How stupid, no wonder he’s got such an ego. I quickly pushed myself up on my feet, noticing a hurried glance from mister butler, looking relieved. And mister dragon puffing out some blue flames. I turned to the dragon, fully intending to hash out some deserving insults. But stopped myself, casting a hurried glance at the kneeling lizards. Maybe not... I’ll tell him later. Instead, I walked up to mister butler, who stood awkwardly with his hands out, trying to calm an already calm crowd. I tapped his shoulder and whispered. “Soo, got any ideas yet?” He turned around, meeting my gaze, avoiding it as he looked upwards at the dragon. Staying silent for a second. “Not yet.” Rats! That’s unfortunate. ... Hehe, rats. I turned towards the rat army, seeing skittish and nervous faces. Not surprising. I felt bad for them; They didn’t know any better. Staring up at the dragon, I stared with my “do something” eyes. Getting back “what” eyes from the dragon. I think. One eye is hard to read expressions from. Especially when the one eye is huge. I was lulled out of thoughts when someone new shouted. In something I could only interpret as spitting while gurgling a wet fish in their mouth. Turning towards the lizards, I saw the earlier big golden guy walking towards us. Or gal, hard to tell. It shrieked, yelled and shouted. The surrounding lizards bowing even lower than before. Which looked ridiculous when they were already lying down. I turned towards mister butler for answers. And mister butler was turned towards the dragon for answers. I followed his attention and yelled. “What is he saying?” Mister dragon huffed in response. “I am not an interpreter, that is beneath me.” “So am I, but that doesn’t stop me from calling you stupid. Now tell us what the lizard is saying.” “Girl, did you just admit that I am above you?” “Yes, you are literally above me. Now tell us what he’s saying.” ... I smiled at his silence. “Not funny. And I am not an interpreter.” “Fine! Be that way stupid dragon. Then me and mister butler will just sit here and wait for you to solve all off this.” “What?” Mister dragon quickly responded, twisting his neck in such a way that his head rested just in front of me. Staying silent. Staring at me, seeing a face of perfect stillness. Until a smirk breached it. Got ya. The dragon sighed, then said. “He’s saying. `God, why are you in the presence of such filth? Let us get rid of them for you´” “He is? But he’s still speaking.” "Yes, it’s mostly just about how glorious, wonderful, excellent, admirable, strong- Why am I even with you two?” “Because you love us” I said with a smile, then continued before he could refute. “Now ask him why he’s here” “Hrmpf, girl, how have you not already figured that out? It is to find their wonderful god” “Yesyesyes, oh so great “god”, ask them why they are looking for you." “Is that not also obvious? They want to give tribute, worship my perfect form. Oh, am I not just the greatest?” Ooh. Oh, no. This is not good. It’s getting to his head. “No, you’re stupid. Now ask them why they’re here.” He huffed a strong, and smelly, puff of wind in my face, forcing me back on my ass. Something that also seemed to have taken the golden lizard off-guard as he took a stumbling step backwards, falling off a lying lizard and also hitting his rump. I immediately glared at mister dragon, noticing him glaring back. A smirk reaching his stupid face. The impromtu staring contest continued until the golden lizard starting squealing, more high pitched than before. “What’s he saying now?” “Something about `how dare you filthy my rump with your dirty scales peasant?´” “Huh, you two are like two pieces of the same puzzle.” “Hrmpf, do not compare me to something so obviously lesser than me. It offends me.” “Uhuh, well mister “I’m too good for everyone” ask them the question already!” He hrmpfed in defience, but turned towards the golden lizard, immediately going quiet as mister dragon spoke. I glanced over at mister butler, seeing him staring tiredly at me. Shrugging in response, I said. “Dragons, am I right?” He smiled, but shook his head, looking at the exchange between the golden lizard and the huge lizard. I joined him, doing my best to follow the conversation. From what I could see, it looked like the lizard was overly pompous. Throwing his hands around as if puppeteering a doll. His tail hitting every poor lizard lying on the ground. “He is saying that he has come here to bring the word of god to all the non-believers.” Mister dragon said, still facing the golden lizard. “He’s doing what?” “To make it simple for your puny little brain. These lizards think killing everyone will make me happy.” “He do? What an idiot.” I said, wrapping my arms around my chest and staring angrily at the lizard. The golden lizard noticed my stare, his arms spreading out as if to embrace me. Even if he was several meters away. Which made me even angrier. “Tell him to go away.” “I do not take orders.” “Then don’t tell him to go away!” “I am not stupid” “Yes. Yes you are. Can’t you see he’s a bad man? Girl-lizard?” “No, I actually can not. I do not see good or evil, girl. That is a human concept. I only see a devote worshiper who has his own interpretation of what I want.” “Then, tell him what you want!” That made the dragon pause, staring down at me in what looked like confusion. The seconds ticked by in awkward silence. Then minutes. The golden lizard shouting all the while, sounding more like a weird preacher than what-ever he was. And I was getting kinda angry, actually. Taking a step forward while taking a deep gulp of air. But was outclassed, as mister dragon started speaking something unbelligerent in the lizard tongue. My anger was redirected. And I stared at him. Angrily. Stupid dragon. But as he spoke, the lizards were slowly, ever so slowly, sitting up from their kneeling posture. Eyes full of wonder and worship. Even the golden lizard seemed to be taken aback. Soon, a sea of lizards were standing. Some tall, some small. Big and tiny, wide and short. Staring in awe at mister dragon. But then, as he finished what I assumed was his speech. Every lizard turned to me. Staring. And my anger faded away quickly, replaced by sudden embarrassment. Don’t look at me like that! It’s embarrassing. I awkwardly hid behind mister butler, peeking over his shoulder. The mass of lizards staring back. “What are they doing?” I asked. “I have no idea.” Mister butler responded, gripping his bow and taking out an arrow. Even the dragon had turned to look at me, exposing teeth. So that’s what your smile looks like. Stupid dragon . “Stupid dragon, what did you do?” He hrmpfed, but happily. Weird that I knew that. Then his smile dissapeared just as quickly as it came, and mister dragon said. “Nothing. Now, we have rats to deal with.” Hearing the word rat made me glance over my shoulder. Seeing a familiar rat's face. The reason for this entire journey being such a pain. A rat that had harmed my friends. And oh, was he still ugly. So very ugly.