This stupid dragon is getting on my nerves

It has been two days since I woke him up, again, and he still wont talk to me

So stupid.

Fine, I can acknowledge that using a bomb to wake someone up can be a little... Mean. But come on, I screamed for days.

No girl in their right mind can handle getting ignored for so long

Im not easily angered okay!

Im not!

But anyway, he has not talked to me; I don't understand why.

“Heeellloooooo?”

No?

No... Still nothing. Well, luckily for me I have enough food to last for days!

But if this continues, it might not last. And I really don't want to have to rely on pure mana,

Not very filling

At least I was smart enough to bring a water stone, I am fantastic at planning, so smart of me.

I am truly the smartest and bestest person alive!

...

This place smells.

I know that most of the smells are from me, but what do you expect, he doesn’t really move so I don’t have a way to get out.

Now that I think about it

I hope he knows a way out, he’s kinda,

Really big

And I can’t see a big enough opening, or hole, for him to squeeze through.

Maybe he can transform. Oooh maybe he is one of those super handsome shapeshifters that shifts to your biggest desires.

Eeehehehe…

…

Or erm, maybe not. Ahem.

I heard that they do that to lure in prey, then devouring them slowly and brutally.

...

Don't think about it!

“HEEEELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don’t make me use my bombs again you stupid dragon!”

“Dont call me stupid, Human”

Aaaah!

oof

“aow oooh my butt, geez you don’t have to scare me like that”

Stupid dragon…

Well, he’s speaking at least, now we just need to come up with a plan and get out of here!

“MISTER STUPID DRAGON! I THINK WE SHOULD GET OUT OF THIS MOUNTAIN”

“Human, for the last time, I. Am. Not. Stupid.”

“Well, stop acting like one then.”

“Human, I have debated scholars of science and magic, I have made people go mad at my facts and logics. No mere, Human, could even dare to hope match my intelligence.”

“Hahahaha ooh mister dragon you are such a joker!”

“I tell no jokes, Human”

“Oooh your one of those, sorry about laughing at you, but don’t worry! I’ll get you up to snuff in no time! A quick adventure makes everyone giddy and happy. No more upptity assholery here, no sir.”

...

“Human, why do you care about my happiness?”

Huuh?

What does he mean, has he never been happy before?

Or wait, is he confused to why I’m so nice

Ooh that must be it, well it is true, I am a beacon of nice’ness. A saints of all saints

Truly a nice person!

“Dont worry mister dragon, don’t sweat the small stuff, you don’t have to have a reason to be nice, just, eeeerm, think like… You treat others the way you want them to treat you!”

...

“Then stop calling me stupid, Human. And that was not even my questio-”

“OOOOH YEAH, sheet now that you mention it I did call you stupid. I’m sorry, hehe don’t preach what you don’t do. Or something like that.”

Ahem.

Caught red handed.

“But anyway mister dragon, you don’t happen to have a way out of here?”

“I do.”

“Yes! great!”

…

“Sooo, shall we go?”

“Not now. I need to think”

“What do you mean think? Have you not already thought enough?! It’s been two fricking days! Lets just go already!”

“SILENT! You, Human, with your pathetically fast lives. You would not comprehend how much I think and therefore how much time I require thinking. Time for me moves faster than it does for you and your, pathetic kind. Human”

“So you mean like, you’re a slow thinker and a little bit stupid? That would explain things. Don’t worry mister dragon, if you are that slow I can give you more time to think”

...

“I am ready to go.”

“WHAT!? Really?! YES! Where is the exit?”

“I… Do-don.. I shall create one“

“You will? But, why can't you come from the way you came?”

...

“Human, do not question me. Just be happy I am willing to show you my great power”

As he said that, he started moving

The sound of stone grinding against stone echoing through the large cave. Debris of small stone falling and vibrating the very ground I stood on. Some hitting my head, forcing me to shield it.

Shaking in my boots, I stared in awe at the massive dragon, moving slightly, his body grinding and pushing against the mountain, being painfully slow.

Wait, is it a he?

I just kinda assumed. But what if he’s a she?

“Hey mister dragon, are you a he or a she”

...

No answer, typical

Well, he looks focused right now. Still moving about, looking like he’s searching for a weak point in the mountain.

Or maybe he’s just stretching?

He must have slept for a long time before I came.

I know I need a nice long stretch before doing anything.

Especially after sleeping on this hard floor for the past.. Week?

He did say something about time going slow for him, maybe he’s retarded?

Oh, wait. He’s stretching back his neck,

Looks like a giant snake ready to pounce, although kinda hard to see in this dim light.

He’s getting ready,

Any second now

Aaaaan-

#THUNK#

Faster than my eyes could even perceive. He struck the side of the mountain.

Making me fall flat on my butt quite ungracefully.

Debris of big chunks of rock falling everywhere

Making me quickly scrambled back up on my feet as rocks after rocks fell near my location, almost squishing me flat.

CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP!

I thought, managing by the skin of my teeth to escape harrowing death.

Why did he not warn me beforehand?

You stupid dragon

Stupid!

The rocks are just falling harmlessly of your scales

While it took me every ounce of dexterity to survive that rainfall of rocks.

I hope he gets struck by lightning or something that

STUPID DRAGON!

Okay calm down, lets see how far he got through

...

Huh, he didn’t get that far.

And…

It looks like he’s going to strike again

Oh no

I got to run-

#THUNK#

Almost flying to the side by the impact. I once again move swiftly to my feet, dodging the flying debris.

“YOU GADDAMN STUPID PIECE OF GLITTERING PILE OF POOP!”

Aaaah

Stupid dragon!

Why does he not give me even a single warning

“DRAGON STOP! I SAID STOP!”

But as if I was just a flowing breeze, he ignored me.

Readying another strike

Oh no, crap. I need to run

Run fast, to the far side of the cave

Quickly

Hurry!

Be swif-

#THUNK#

For the third time, I fall down on the ground, feeling a sore spot on by butt, it’s going to be an ugly bruise.

Luckily, this time I was far enough away to easily dodge the debris, giving the dragon an angry glance as I looked up to him.

And, in my surprise, I met his eyes, staring back at me.

The dim light of the moon illuminating us,

Sparkling

Shining

Beutifull

“You are really beautiful”

“Hmpf”

He did, llifting his head slightly, blowing out a small stream of fire from his nostrils.

Shaking my head, I quickly shook the thought.

No, don't call him beautiful. He's a stupid dragon!

“And stupid”

“No you are stupid. Human”

...

“Well, let’s just agree to disagree.”

“Let us.”