"The Last Primordials" is my first foray into fiction writing, and I am under no illusion that it is perfect. For anyone interested in my rewrite plans/process or any changes to the story, I will be updating you here in this "chapter". Things will move from list to list, and new points will inevitably be added to this less than comprehensive list. For the most part, I am happy with the overall story and characters/ relationships. (Feel free to disagree with me.) I'm less satisfied with my world-building and my writing style, especially in the earlier sections of the story. If you'd like to add your two cents, please do! I welcome feedback very happily. The "Being Explored" section includes edits that are still being debated. If you have opinions about any of them, let me know!

Because of the volume of adjustments in the rewrite, I'm planning on adding "new" chapters with "RW" in the chapter title. The chapter numbers will likely not line up with the rest of the story until the rest of the story finishes the rewrite process as well. Bear with me. I apologize if it is confusing for a while. I will also likely add the occassional outtakes to the author's notes at the bottom of chapters as certain scenes are cut for one reason or another.

In Progress:

Bear Tribe arc-- weirdly, there isn't anything specific about the arc that "needs fixing", but I need to write it better. So I'm editing and updating it for better dialogue, flow and tone. The lack of specificity in this rewrite actually make this section more challenging to rewrite, so bear with me.

Completed (but still subject to additional changes possibly):

Condense chapter one. (5/5/21)

Wolf Tribe arc (7/15/21):

*Adjust interactions between Lolo and her brothers in chapter 2. Make the boys behave and respond more like 15 year old boys.

*Add a chapter or two to spread out the highly criticized (for good reason) character dump in what is currently chapter 3. This means more early character interactions. (My favorite part of writing, so these have been fun.)

*Give more early context, descriptions, lore, world-building, etc. at the beginning to clarify current intertribal relationships (eg, why so much trust, why the exchange exists at all), the size and scope of the tribes, the individual cultures of each tribe, and create a more immersive reader experience generally. (That's the goal, anyway. I recognize that this is an area of weakness for me personally, so keep me honest, guys! Let me know what does and does not work, and where you would like to see more!!!)

*Significance, history, and uses of the tournament grounds. (A little bit of this... may need to add more later)

*Better descriptions of Pack Hall, the Wolf Tribe "villages"

*Edit tournament at the end of the WT arc. Add details to some of the more relevant matches, and/or write Lolo's observations of specific matches in the tournament rather than the expository narration.

*Reduce the time spent on developing and describing partner maneuvers, especially because I didn't feel the need to incorporate them in any meaningful way into later battles the way I'd originally intended. Explore alternative character interactions/ relationship development instead.

Planned:

Remove the "times" in the BT arc... move to timing based on the position of the sun.

End of the rewrite process-- Make the world bigger, literally. Travel times and distances between tribes should be longer for the size of the world and number of people. Make consistent throughout the story. Draw up a map to share in the art section of the story description?

Better scene descriptions of the various palaces, terrains, etc.

Make the tone of the Bear Tribe, and Dragon Tribe arcs consistent with the rest of the story. Basically, they all need a major overhaul. *sigh*

Address Sattal's impunity better. Why doesn't the Dragon General stop him from abusing the trainees? While I don't plan to spell out his reasons, I do want the characters to grapple with this question and come to a non-conclusion and then revisit the question later when the character of the Dragon General is revealed.

Give more explanation surrounding the Lion Tribe coup. After Torvus's best efforts to collect intelligence and prevent the coup from happening in the first place, why did it still happen?

Get rid of some of the Phoenix captains' names... especially the ones that only show up once or twice. Why I named them in the first place, who knows?

Being Explored:

Remove the Yao and Shijen introductory sequences. As much as I love those guys, I'm not sure that they worked. At a minimum, rework their introductory scenes.-- Decision to be made towards the end of the rewrite process.

Develop Ming and Xini Lang and their family dynamics a bit more.

Develop the culture specifically surrounding animal spirit hosts. Roles in society, how the bond affects the hosts, potentials that hosts can work towards, etc.

Weave in the lore of the Wolf Tribe Alpha (and Beta)... so much lore.

Develop some of the other Bear Tribe first years more in the BT arc.

Better develop the Bear Tribe council of elders. Maybe give some of the elders names.

Write the history between Tadellos Tragen and the Lang family (specifically Ming Lang). There is history there that is alluded to but not fleshed out.

Reduce time spent on Purple Fever epidemic.

Condense the Great Owl arc and the whole training montage. (However this is done, avoid a deus ex machina situation.)

Rework the epilogue to sum up the story more rather than give snapshots into the characters' lives.

End Edits:

Double and triple check story consistency.

Divide the chapters in the Wolf, Bear, and Dragon Tribe arcs into more standard sizes for consistency. (Update chapter numbers.) Edit for clarity, typos, grammar, and the like.

Add art if I feel so motivated. 'Cause why not?!