Chief of Police Fred O’Cheeny sat at the terrace overlooking the water. He was currently looking at a beautiful sunset, while the pleasant breeze added a pleasant coolness to the otherwise hot night. In one hand was a tablet, so he could work. On his other hand was a delicious morsel of meat and cheese from the platter at his table. He appreciated that bite, and all of the other bites afterwards.

“Grazie.” Fred replied as the server came to clean up his table.

His Italian was slowly getting better. At least good enough to say things like ‘Where is the bathroom?’ or ‘You are a pain in the ass’. He went inside the restaurant, where he spent a brief time browsing the inside. He soon purchased a bottle of Cinque Terre Sciacchetrà, to pair with some almond biscotti for when he was at home. The wine had been aged in a hyperbolic time chamber for optimal taste.

He took exactly one step away from the counter-

and was back in America.

Precisely, he was at Louie’s Longtable Bistro. The servers there barely noticed him suddenly appearing in the middle of the floor, having long since become accustomed to his sudden appearance. Fred made sure to tip well when he ate here to make up for the annoyance. Fred’s unique magic let him instantaneously teleport between authentic Italian restaurants anywhere in the world. He was unsure of the exact meaning of ‘authentic’, but he did know that a certain widespread chain establishment failed to work with his power.

Louie’s Longtable Bistro happened to be the closest restaurant to where he worked, so Fred used it as a sort of traveling hub. After only a few minutes of walking, he was back at the station, and continued some paperwork he was in the middle of.

-

Later that night, Fred was ready to head home and enjoy his wine while watching a new horror flick. All he had to do was wait twenty four minutes without some catastrophe happening, then he could leave. As if it wanted to ruin his evening, said catastrophe chose that moment to show itself.

“Sir! We have an emergency! Armisonant is assaulting MOO offices!”

Of course. After he made plans for a pleasant night. After he bought wine, and sweet confections, and even rented a movie to enjoy. Now would be the time something like this shows up. While it was true that Fred had already had a pleasant lunch earlier today, and that complaining at this point made him seem a little immature, Fred regularly dealt with city threatening dangers, and he was not wrong to think that he was entitled to a relaxing evening every now and then.

After a short ride, him and a few of his subordinates had reached the site of the assault. They arrived to find some of MOO’s security forces outside taking cover behind cars or other buildings. Armisonant was on the tenth or so floor.

Armisonant had the ability to remotely detonate popcorn kernels with the force of a stick of dynamite. The suit she wore was covered in tubes that let her fire popcorn as if from a machine gun. Thus, the guards found themselves pinned down as the equivalent of hundreds of sticks of dynamite rained down around them.

POP! POPOPOP! POP! POP! POPOP!

All the windows in the area were smashed apart, and anything not solid concrete had pockmarks in it.

“Check the area for any henchmen. I’ll see if I can break the stalemate.”

Instead of attempting any sort of subterfuge, Fred ran towards the building. Weaving around the explosions near him, he leapt over the remains of a car and tumbled underneath an alcove. He took a moment to prepare himself by applying various types of defensive magic to his person. Taking a deep breath, he swung out and started running directly up the side of the building. Armisonant ran up the building as well, and gave her entire attention to Fred. Windows were blown out all around him as Fred dodged diagonally from floor to floor.

Twice, a seed hit Fred in the chest, catapulting him back down the building. Each time, he took the hit without much damage, partially because of his strength, and partially because of his impact reducing jacket. After he was hit, Fred grabbed onto the building to stop his fall and rebounded back into a running stance. Even under fierce assault, he was faster than Armisonant, and gained ground on her.

Changing tactics, Armisonant ran inside the building. Fred followed her. Moving into what looked like an archive, Fred jumped straight up as a shotgun spray of seeds flew towards him. He shattered the ceiling above him, entering the above floor. A series of explosions crumbled the floor beneath him.

POP! POPOPOP!

He leaped past the explosions. Running down a hallway and vaulting a copy machine, he found where he thought Armisonant would be below him. Making a short hop into the air, Fred dove towards the floor in the same way someone would use their shoulder to bash open a door. The floor gave way beneath him and he landed next to Armisonant. Armisonant was famed for her powerful explosive ranged attacks, but she was no slouch in hand-to-hand combat either. With each punch, three kernels ejected from holes near her knuckles. She was able to then direct the force of the explosion in a forward cone.

Fred ducked a shockwave, and it obliterated a filing cabinet behind him, ruining the nice organizational work of some intern, and sending papers in every direction. Fred then spun in place, sweeping at Armisonant’s legs. The antenna on the back of her suit lit up, and she teleported several feet backwards. Tucking his head down, Fred rolled forwards and sprung upwards into a flying punch.

“I had wine and a nice evening planned, you know!” Fred shouted.

“I’ll send you a calendar invite first, next time.” Replied Armisonant.

Every pneumatic tube on her suit simultaneously spat out a seed, followed up by Armisonant teleporting backwards. Fred jumped back the way he came. Explosions completely destroyed the room, and gave Armisonant cover to move ahead undisturbed. She ran into another room.

Fred chased, and found himself face to face with one of Armisonant’s full ammunition canisters sitting on the ground. The canister detonated, causing a massive explosion that could be heard across the city. The blast launched Fred outwards. He streaked through the air, a trail of smoke behind him. He crashed into a nearby building, breaking through the windows into an office. Skidding across the floor, he broke through several cubicles, demolishing chairs, computers, pictures of people’s families, and ‘Hang in There’ motivational posters. Standing up to dust himself off, he looked at the building he had come from. A huge chunk had been blown out, demolishing several floors above and below the explosion. Off to the side, he could barely make out Armisonant. She was effortlessly bulldozing past the rest of the security, accompanied by several of her henchmen. They left into the night, having achieved whatever their goal was.