《I’M A CRAZY PERSON WHO JUMPED IN FRONT OF A TRUCK TO BE REINCARNATED INTO ANOTHER WORLD -ON PURPOSE!》Chapter 26: All gods are perverts

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“W-WAH????!!!”, the young priestess stared at me, her innocent face rapidly turning crimson red as her mind deciphered the meaning of my words.

“I-I’m a servant of the goddess Tiana, y-you can’t really t-think about d-doing s-such a s-shameful thing t-to m-me!”, oh she thought that I wanted to rape her… Well I guess you could interpret my words that way. I sighed in an overly dramatic fashion and shook my head.

“I’m not gonna lay a hand on you. Remember, I’m the hero not some dubious person!”, the most charming smile I was capable of played on my lips.

“Even as the hero you are quite a dubious guy….”, Maira (the princess) threw in with a raised brow. Her words were kinda hurtful…

“Y-yes! After all you enslaved the p-princess and made her your s-s-s….”, although she immediately agreed with the princess, the innocent young lady couldn’t even finish the sentence before turning to embarrassed to continue.

“I AM NOT HIS SEX SLAVE!”, Maira more or less roared through the forest in her anger. Then she realized how she was behaving, and embarrassment swept over her. Tugging on my sleeve she muttered.

“I’m still a virgin, you know?”, her cheeks were flushed, and a weird glint flickered in her brown eyes. I was speechless. Didn’t this kind of sound like an invitation?

Shaking my head to get rid of the nefarious thoughts that had suddenly sprung up within my immature head I turned my attention to the shaking priestess who was now fearfully waiting for my reaction. She was surrounded by five people and even though she was also a silver ranked adventurer there was no way for her to escape.

In other words, she wouldn’t be able to defend herself even if she tried to.

“Just strip already. It’s your punishment for intruding into this holy forest and trying to kill it’s god.”, my voice was a little irritated, but far less removed and cold than before. Putting up a cool image was far to taxing long term and I was really thinking about just giving up on it all together.

Badassery shouldn’t be forced after all.

The priestess pleadingly stared at me for a while, hoping to change my decision through the power of her cute eyes, but I was a smiling block of granite, friendly but unmoving as I forced an innocent girl to undress herself before a group of strangers who had just coldheartedly killed her friends for some cheap experience.

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But hey, at least I was friendly! Honestly, I wondered why I almost always felt like a piece of shit when dealing with other people… maybe I should change tactics already?

In the end, the poor girl gave up, rose from the ground and began to undo her long, white robes. Layers of clothing fell to the ground, followed by all sorts of religious jewelry that she wore. She struggled a little before taking off her underwear, but in the end, even this last layer fell to the ground, exposing a holy girl’s entire body for the world to witness.

I didn’t stare though, simply stepping closer and placing my hand on her flat stomach. Without any hesitation, my mana was channeled as I recited the spell within my mind. The priestess’s face twitched as she felt a faint pain run through her body and became helpless as she realized what kind of magic was being cast onto her.

“S-so I will be your slave.”, she muttered after the slave seal was completed. Her face was dejected and her eyes a little empty as if she had already resigned herself to a horrible fate.

I rolled my eyes.

“It would be nice if you would listen to what I said. You will be HIS”, I pointed at the fairy sized Maira, “Guardian maiden. In other words, you’re not gonna be my slave, you are gonna be his slave.”

With this I released the god from my palm and let him float in front of me.

He still seemed very upset about everything, giving me dark stares and everything, but the gesture of a temple maiden seemed to have cooled off most of his anger. In fact, he gave the priestess some pretty lusty looks.

“Priestess.”, my voice sounded a little domineering.

“Y-yes?”, the girl replied with uncertainty.

“What’s your name?”

She stared at me with a blank look in her eyes.

“M-melissa…”

I nodded the head.

“Ok then, Melissa. From now on you are going to be the OG Maira’s guardian maiden, serving him until your death. Whatever he says is your command.”, my face eased up a little.

“Don’t overdo it though.”, I told the perverted fairy.

“Sure, sure…”, the dude said while flying over to Melissa and beginning to grope her exposed breasts. The poor girl didn’t dare to move and after some time strange moans began to escape her mouth as her face turned even redder.

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“W-we should go now. I will have to visit the local lord to take some more precautions. After all, I have promised to make sure you are safe from any other attackers.”, I stuttered as these scenes were a little bit too much for my poor mind to handle.

But Maira had other plans.

“Nah, it’s already getting late and I can’t treat you poorly after you gave me such a present.”, he squeezed the priestess’s breasts and a satisfied smile spread across his lusty face.

“Rest for the night and leave tomorrow.”, for a moment I suspected a trap. Maybe this perverted grandpa wanted to take us out in our sleep. But then I dropped the thought and agreed.

He didn’t seem like the person to play underhanded tricks.

“Then we will accept your generosity.”, my personality changed to my typical polite bearing and I became a charming gentleman. Not a single shred of the crazy maniac who would kill people for mere experience was left as we followed the OG and returned to the clearing located at the very center of the forest.

“I wish, that idiot Jahear hadn’t sealed me. Usual I can just change my body into any form I want to, but now I’m stuck in this tiny fairy.”, the OG pretty much complained all the time, the source of his complains fluctuating between the human gods and the humans themselves. It was pretty obvious that he had a pretty horrible impression of any humans.

“I like you Beastii though. You guys haven’t forgotten how to respect the forests and us old gods.”, he suddenly changed his tone and said to Riina. We had arrived at the base of a truly gigantenormous tree, located at the very center of the huge forest. Its trunk was far ticker than a usual building and its lush emerald green crown towered above the ones of the other trees. Without a doubt it was fit to be called the king of this forest.

Shockingly the tree had a huge opening functioning as an entrance and leading into an expansive living space. Just as you would expect from the god of a forest Maira had set up his home inside this ancient giant and it was truly one beautiful sight to behold.

“Surprised?”, he asked me with a proud smile. It seemed like he himself was also very proud if his domicile.

I nodded speechlessly while following him inside. We were soon assigned a couple of rooms on the second of the fourteen floors of his home. As one would expect the floor, walls and even the entire furniture was made of a single piece of wood, almost as if it had grown naturally. The only exception were the soft carpets and blankets that had been woven out of dried plant fibers.

“Have you done all of this yourself?”, I asked with a disbelieving expression. To furnish a huge structure like this with these sorts of items would be a challenge even to a king with hundreds of subordinates.

He simply shrugged his shoulder as he sat on Melissa’s shoulder, letting himself be carried as he showed us around.

“Once you have lived for an eternity you learn to value simple tasks.”, he seemed little embarrassed to admit that a lofty old god such as himself spend his time doing the tasks of a lowly servant.

“It’s breathtaking.”, I comforted him with an honest expression. This was no exaggeration; the entire tree was a single masterpiece that would make modern architects cry out in delight.

The god seemed to take the praise with adequate gratefulness, a kind smile playing on his tiny face.

“In a bit my servants will bring you food. I will take a rest in my own chambers.”, he stocked, and a wry expression overtook his face.

“This day has truly been too exhausting for my poor self.”, I really liked this god. Just as that truck driver he wasn’t too remote or detached from us ‘normal’ people, behaving like some regular person from the street. It was reassuring to see that even these ancient beings could stay ‘human’.

“Thank you.”, I thanked him whole heartedly. Not having to worry about a place to sleep, food or being attacked by random strangers was a weird kind of luxury that I hadn’t had the fortune to experience lately.

He smiled and simply left, dragging the poor ex-priestess with him as they disappeared in the long hallways of the tree.

I turned around and entered the rooms that had been prepared for me and my party. Time to relax and sort my thoughts after a long day.

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