《Star Wars Episode 7: A Corpse Through Which the Force Speaks》Chapter 31: The Immortal Ghost of Palpatine
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As soon as Sindo flew the stolen Praxagora into hyperspace, Regis skirted around Artoo on his way out of the cockpit and ran toward the rear. Stepping over several armored Cheka lying dead in the entryway, he heard Vasili shout, “Just let me put some cream on you, or something!”
He found everyone crammed into the small infirmary. Chewbacca lay sprawled out in a reclining chair cradling a jug of cold water, Lando sat hunched over a garbage bin, Birdy sat on an examination table with his arms crossed, and Vasili stood over Luke, who was lying prone on a small bed. Regis ran up to Vasili.
“How is he?” he said, looking down at Luke.
“He’s doing great, and is very cooperative,” said Vasili, failing to hide the frustration behind his sarcasm.
Regis was taken aback by the sight of Luke. His face was red and covered in blisters. His hair was missing chunks and his outfit was singed brown. Though he lay still with his eyes closed, Regis could tell that he was awake, and listening.
“Luke, buddy?” said Regis. “We need to treat your wounds. You’re in bad shape.”
“I’ll be fine,” Luke said through clenched teeth. He spoke quietly, and Regis could tell that he was straining. “I can… I can heal myself. Help the others first.”
Sindo suddenly leaned in through the doorway. “Is he okay? What happened to him?”
No one answered. Regis leaned over Luke, then said, “Luke… you were fighting the Empress, weren’t you?”
Luke’s stoic mask fell away as he winced in pain. He turned away, and said nothing. Seeing that he was in pain, Regis hovered over him protectively.
“Just help the others,” Luke finally said, then clamped his mouth shut.
“Well, not much we can do for them,” said Vasili, turning toward Lando and Chewbacca. “They sucked down some kind of chemical that bounty hunters use to knock people out. So it’s not lethal. They’re awake, so I guess…”
“We’ll be fine,” said Lando, sounding annoyed as he wiped his mouth. “Is anyone after us?”
“I made the jump to hyperspace,” said Sindo. “We’re en route toward the coordinates you gave me.”
“Good. Good.” Leaning back with the small garbage can cradled to his chest, Lando wiped his brow, then turned his gaze toward the others. “I need to ask you guys something.”
“Say it,” said Regis.
Lando glanced at the briefcase sitting propped up against the medicine cabinet. “Why didn’t you take the money and run?”
“We’re not in this for money,” said Regis.
“I would’ve taken it,” said Birdy. He did not look at Lando, but kept his gaze fixed on the wall.
“I wouldn’t blame you,” said Lando.
“I would’ve taken it and thrown it in the lava. Just to see you, and people like you, run after it screaming. I hate money-grubbers.”
Lando snorted. “Well, I’m not a fan of jackboots from the coordinated-walking committee, but we both need this money.”
“What for?” said Birdy, finally turning to look at him.
Lando smiled. “I’m going to give it back to the New Republic.”
Vasili scoffed. “Like hell you are!” he said. “After what we’ve been through, that’s our, uh… well, that’s our war chest, isn’t it? I mean, am I wrong?”
Lando did not respond, but only winked.
Regis shook his head. “Mister Calrissian, you look awfully cool for someone holding a puke bucket after losing an entire planet. But don’t worry. Your money’s safe with us. Right?”
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Regis looked around at his teammates. Sindo nodded. Vasili shrugged dramatically, then sighed. “Yes, sir,” he said, sounding as if the phrase had been pulled out of him.
Regis turned to Birdy. Birdy sat immobile, but turned his eyes in Regis’s direction.
“Birdy?” said Regis. “Is everything, uh… you know… okay?”
“It depends.” Pointing with his chin, he said, “Who’s the guy refusing treatment for second-degree burns?”
“That’s Luke Skywalker. He’s the Empress’s brother. We’ve seen him do a lot of crazy stuff, so we tend to give him his space.”
“Empress Organa’s brother,” Birdy repeated.
“That’s right.”
“Huh.” Birdy suddenly scratched his chin. “Well. That name sounds familiar, though. Did he kill Jabba the Hutt?”
Regis shrugged, and Luke said nothing.
“Technically, no,” said Lando. “His sister Leia… the Empress, that is… she killed Jabba. But Luke killed Jabba’s crew.”
“How do you know that?” said Regis. “Were you there?”
“I was there, alright.” Lando smiled as he thought back on the occasion. “Chewbacca here was holding my buddy Han up by his feet, and they were trying to pull me off some monster’s dinner plate. Han was blind, too. And this was after he handled Boba Fett, if you’ve ever heard of him. It was… it was quite a time!”
Birdy suddenly smiled. “Yeah, maybe I have heard about you guys. Jabba’s pleasure barge, wasn’t it? The toughest aliens in the galaxy have been crying about that massacre for years.”
Birdy slid off the bed and Regis stepped back. He was still unsure of his old teammate’s motivation, and hated that he did not fully trust him yet. Birdy approached Luke, then stood looking down at him thoughtfully.
“Birdy?” said Sindo. “You going to let us in on what’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Yeah.” Birdy nodded thoughtfully. “Let’s see if this ship has anything to drink.”
* * *
“You guys are going to laugh, but after we split up, I went looking for the Emperor’s clone.”
The four members of Omicron Squadron sat in the lounge. Vasili stirred a pot of meat and vegetables while Sindo leaned on the wall beside him, occasionally adding spice to the stew. Regis and Birdy sat nursing New Republic beer out of bottles decorated with the smiling faces of a cartoon Mon Calamari and a Quenk holding hands. Regis winced as he tasted the stale beer.
“I wouldn’t laugh,” said Regis. “I remember what it was like, thinking we were going to turn things around.”
“Maybe I should have followed your advice,” said Birdy. “After the Rebels blew up the Death Star, and the chain of command fell apart, all of you tried to tell me to lay low, and see how things played out. I hate to admit it, but… I thought you were all traitors.”
“Maybe we were,” said Regis. “Try not to let the past bring you down, Bird.”
“You weren’t traitors,” said Birdy, shaking his head. “Actually, I turned out to be the biggest traitor of them all.”
“How so?” said Sindo.
Birdy gulped. “Me and some other guys were robbing and killing Rebel sympathizers. There was me, a spec ops guy from Theta Squad, a couple of infantry jarheads, a TIE pilot, and an old officer who had gone completely mental.” Birdy laughed and shook his head. “What we lacked in cohesion, we made up for it in drive. None of those guys slept or had any concept of life outside of the Empire. So lashing out was all we had. Anyway, we started hearing stories about the Emperor’s clone coming back. He was going to set things right, and round up all the Rebels. Remember those stories? Well, we followed a tip to Eadu. Ever heard of it?”
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“Stormy rock,” said Vasili.
Birdy nodded. “We didn’t find anything but some abandoned black budget sites. Tech we couldn’t use, dead aliens floating in formaldehyde, ridiculous blueprints for projects that were never going to be made.”
“Lot of caves on Eadu,” said Vasili. “Lot of places to hide something worth finding.”
“It was garbage!” Birdy suddenly shouted. “There was nothing there! All we found was bounty hunters waiting for us.”
“You got out alive, at least,” said Vasili.
“Alive?” Birdy scoffed. “We killed the bounty hunters, alright. Thing is, it started to look like one of our own guys tipped them off. Imperials were on the menu back then, and the New Republic was throwing all kinds of money around, making a big show of rounding up stormtroopers. Well, once it looked like we were compromised, we… we completely fell apart.
“The Theta guy killed one of the infantry guys, but then I got to looking things over, and I was convinced the TIE pilot was our mole. So I… I convinced everyone we needed to execute him. And so, we did. But after that, the Theta spec ops started some rivalry with the old officer. He was sure that it was the officer’s fault that there was a mole in the first place. Then the other infantry guy, he took me aside and said we should just turn in the officer and the Theta goon and pick up the reward money for their heads. Now… imagine trusting anyone after that.”
“So what did you do?” said Regis.
“I made up my mind to shoot them all.”
Regis furrowed his brow at Birdy. “Seriously?”
“Yes. But I didn’t. Somebody else started shooting first. I don’t even know who. But then I… I joined in. I wanted to live.”
Birdy took a long drink of his beer before continuing. “I survived, I guess. But it wasn’t worth it. That was when I found out that being alive isn’t always the best option. I was… in really bad shape. Really bad.”
“How did you get over it?” said Vasili.
“I didn’t. I left Eadu, but I left a part of myself behind there, too. As I looked for others to join up with, you know, people willing to keep fighting the New Republic, all I found were cowards, traitors, and weaklings. People willing to sell each other out, or sell themselves out, even. My old contacts dried up, including you guys. A lot of old friends hid their identities, and got civilian jobs. But there were others who were posing as Imperial loyalists just to sell our people out. They would sell you weapons, or blueprints to New Republic facilities, and then after they had your money - they’d run to some creature in a Cheka uniform.
“So then I thought, what am I doing? What’s the point of any of this? As far as I could tell, I was the last guy fighting for the human species. Not only did nobody want to help me, but everybody hated me. The entire galaxy wanted me dead. Not just aliens, but other humans, too. To them, I wasn’t a hero sacrificing my life for them. I was just some evil scumbag.”
Birdy began to tear the label from his beer. He stopped in mid-tear, then carefully smoothed the label back in place.
“That was when I decided that the human species isn’t worth it.”
Though Regis did not like hearing such talk, he was not sure how to argue with his old teammate. Over the years he had learned to be wary of fellow humans eager to report suspicious behavior to the nearest uniformed Cheka. He had spent many long nights unable to sleep, dwelling on thoughts of picking up a blaster and fighting to protect a species that did not want to be protected. What was the point? Glancing at Sindo, he saw that her gaze was fixed on the floor, and Vasili was looking at something terribly important in his stew.
“Is that why you joined those bounty hunters?” said Regis.
Birdy nodded. “I was so angry, I wanted to hurt everyone. Humans, aliens, I didn’t care. But I didn’t want to throw my life away, either. Going out in a blaze of glory didn’t seem appropriate, not when there wasn’t anybody around who would appreciate it. So I started working with bounty hunters, picking up small-time jobs. Guess somebody out there appreciated what I had to offer, because eventually I got Viddu the Hutt’s attention.
“Viddu let me into his Hounds. That’s when I really saw the scope of the Hutt Cartel’s intentions toward us. Toward humans, I mean. They mean to completely own the galaxy. Not by conquest, of course. They don’t think like that. They don’t care about planting flags and writing laws. But they understand power, in their own way. They know what it’s like to have some poor sucker come up to them begging for a favor, and they know how to make it look like they’re giving more than they’re getting in return for a favor. And eventually, they’ll have the entire human species dancing in some stinking cantina, just for their amusement.” Birdy took a long drink from his beer, and then, with a hint of false humor in his voice, he said, “So, that’s my tale. What happened to you guys? Got any stories?”
“No stories,” said Regis. “I got into trash recycling.”
“Got a job working for aliens,” said Vasili. “Hauling freight.”
Regis glanced at Sindo and saw her rubbing her hands together uncomfortably. “I got married,” she said, turning away. “For a while.”
“Married?” said Birdy. “No kidding.”
“Ah, so you split up!” said Vasili, snapping his fingers. “Let me guess. Some big shot on Coruscant. He had to pretend to be alien-friendly to keep his business going. But after a while, he wasn’t pretending anymore. And he was on your case, bugging you because he knew you were a-”
“Something like that,” said Sindo, clenching her jaw and folding her arms. “I don’t really like talking about it.”
“I just knew it!” Vasili continued. “It figures. Those limp-wristed xenophiles are always eager to show which team they’re playing on. And they can’t stand to let bygones be bygones!”
Feeling her discomfort, Regis turned away.
“What you’ve seen, Vas - it’s going to get worse,” said Birdy. “And humans will go along with it, too. They’ll go along with it because if they don’t, someone might call them a xenophobe. And they’ll have their picture and their name dragged through the mud in one of those news streams like they have on Mustafar.”
“Not everyone will go along with it.”
They turned at the unexpected intrusion and saw Lando Calrissian standing in the doorway. Despite his hair sticking up on one side, and his fine red suit and half-cape looking like they had been run through a dirty trash sorter, Regis noticed that he stood leaning against the doorway like a senator having his holophoto taken before a campaign.
“You have friends I haven’t met?” said Regis. “Your friend Han didn’t exactly impress me with his dedication to humanity.”
“Friends? Try business partners. The few humans still in positions of power see what’s happening. I’m not the only one who had a bag full of credits ready to run. We-”
Birdy snorted. “You mean corporate whores? Sorry, but they have no people. They only care about money. If money tells them to hire aliens instead of humans, that’s what they’ll do.”
“I don’t blame you for thinking that’s the case,” said Lando. “All the same, I’m here with you, aren’t I? It stands to reason there are others like me. That’s why I want to bring us together. Humans need to-”
“You mentioned ex-Imperials earlier,” Regis interrupted.
“We need them, too.”
Regis and Sindo shared a look. “Just what do you have in mind, Lando?” said Regis.
Lando looked them over. “I can send out word to people I know. Good people. Not fighters… but the kind of people who make things happen. The kind of people who maintain civilization. Workers. I contact them, and convince them to move to an out of the way planet - some place the Republic might not notice. And then we-”
“And then the Republic finds out,” said Birdy, leaning back in his seat, looking bored. “And then the Republic stomps you flat.”
“Not if we have former Imperials working security.”
“Seriously?” said Regis.
“Very.”
“And what if they send the combined might of the Cheka and the Hutt Cartel after us on this… theoretical human planet?”
Lando smiled suddenly. “That’s what the money’s for. I start bribing Republic generals to look the other way, or throw the fight if they’re forced to attack us.”
Regis could feel Sindo and Vasili staring at him, but he turned to Birdy. Though Lando’s idea seemed outlandish to him, Regis only wanted to know that whatever happened next, his old friend would be on board.
Birdy finished his beer, then met Regis’s gaze. “I know what you’re thinking, Sergeant. And I’m willing to go along. I threw away everything to help you on Mustafar, didn’t I? Even if it is a wild bantha chase, I’ll go along. But unless one of you can get us in touch with some decent Imperials, then this isn’t even worth discussing.”
“That I can do,” said Lando. “I know where a warlord is hiding.”
“Who is it?” said Regis.
“Grand Moff Nahdonnis Praji. I’ll set a course. He’s holed up on an icebox called Hoth.”
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