I was awake all night long. Audra and other maids came to my room to do my makeup and other things.

-do you like these flowers? Aunt flora gave them to me.

-yes they're beautiful.

-then I'll use them.

-put them on my hair.

-you will look like a real fairy with all these flowers and butterflies.

I wanted to hurry. I couldn’t wait to see how Charles looks. Guests were coming from different places. Bustling crowds in garden were decorating everywhere. A group of maids were in my mother's room and another group for Charles' mother.

-do I look good?

All the maids said I'm very pretty but I wanted to see how Charles will react.

Audra was more excited than me. She wore the dress I bought for her cause I told her that I wanted her to be my friend not my maid in my wedding day.

-wow you're so pretty Audra. I'm jealous now.

-no one will see me when you're in the hall. You're shining.

Am I doing the right thing? No one knows!

Will I be happy with him? Will he ever love me? Do I even truly love him?

-don’t think too much. This thoughts comes in every bride's minds. You're doing the right thing.

Why does everyone can read my mind?

-did you just read my mind?

-you're like a mirror. I can see right through you.

-that’s bad. I don’t even have privacy in my mind.

-continue thinking. I wont read it!

-you know what… I'm hungry.

-oh God! What am I supposed to do with you?

I smiled innocently.

-all right! I'll find something.

..................

I was looking through the door lock. I could see Audra smiling in the corner of the room. My mother was so happy and about to cry again. Charles was smiling awkwardly.

-God damn! He's so handsome.

-are you ready darling?

My father was so happy too but he's not that kind of person to show his feelings.

-yes dad. You look perfect today.

-thanks honey. You're like a fairy.

He kissed my forehead and I could feel that he was about to cry.

We entered the room. all eyes were on me but Charles'. He was staring at the floor. He finally looked at me when I stood next to him. A bride should be happy on her wedding but I wasn’t. I was so nervous. There was a sentence repeating in my head: what if he ruin the wedding now? What if he doesn’t say "I do"?

The preacher said speak now if you're against this marriage or forever hold your peace.

I was afraid of him. What if he says I don’t want to get married?

No one said anything and I was praying with my eyes closed. I guess he understood I was scared so he smiled a bit to comfort me.

After a few seconds he pat on my hand and I looked up. I had to say I do.

-I do.

He stared and said:

-I do.

Everyone smiled and clapped. All the people in the room were happy except him. I was somehow happy but I was afraid of the future days waiting for me. Days without love and happiness.

Audra approached and hugged me. I pretend that I'm happy.

-oh Caroline I'm so happy. I want to cry!

-please don’t! why everyone is crying?!

Charles smiled but it wasn’t fake. I sometimes doubt his feelings. he was upset a few seconds ago.

He's very suspicious and it's driving me crazy.

I spent the night happily. I ignored my anxiety and enjoyed my wedding but through all that happiness something was missing. Like you've finished a puzzle but lost the last piece.

I couldn't wait for that special moment. the moment when he kisses me. I blushed while Audra was chuckling secretly. Charles stared and stopped. I was waiting for him to come closer but he just stared at me. I wanted to approach but i couldn't. finally he came closer and his lips touched mine. it felt like no one was there us. like all the good times in my life, this one was also short...

..............

Days passed by. Everything was just normal like always. Charles was normal too. We spend all our time with each other and when he's not around I wait until he comes back.

every month, one of the maids buy the new books for me and today I got a new one. I knocked Charles' door. I wanted to show him my new book. He didn’t respond.

-maybe I should just go in.

I opened the door. He wasn’t there. I walked around the room. his desk was very messy.

-oh no! now it's messier.

I accidently hit the table and all the papers fell down on the floor. I rushed to pick them up. I tried to put them on the table just the way it was before.

-oh my portrait! He's very good at drawing.

I forced him to draw my portrait and finally he drew. I was looking at his drawings. I froze for a second. The world turned black.

-I knew it.

My nightmares came true.

-how could they do this to me?

Not only Charles betrayed me but also my dearest friend did it too.

There were many drawing of her eyes, hair, lips, gestures and portrait.

Many drawings of Audra…

.................

I stood by the lake. Wondering what did I do wrong? I even thought about suicide but my heart wasn’t sure about what I just saw. Maybe he always draw different people, Maybe her face is perfect for drawing and he didn’t mean anything but my mind was sure that he's cheating.

-where is Audra now? Where is Charles? she's not here when Charles isn’t too.

- I need to act normal. I should catch them out when they're together.

-princess there you are!

I looked at her with a lump in my throat. I was about to burst into tears.

-oh Audra! where were you?

-I wanted to buy something. Sorry I came back late.

Liar!

She was talking with joy all the way to palace. Why was she so happy?

.............

That black thing was in my nightmare again.

Kill them… kill them…

I was running as fast as I could. I knew I wanted to stop and take the dagger but I also knew it was wrong. I was running away from myself.

- I will kill them.

I burst into tears quietly. I didn’t want Charles to realize I was crying. I looked at his pillow and wanted to know whether he's awake or not. He wasn’t there. I cried harder. I heard my heart's shatter. my heart was full of grief , hatred and love at the same time.

- I still love you Audra.

I said with a shaky voice.

- I still love you Charles!

I heard footsteps. It was Charles. I hid my face under the blanket. He came in. I looked at him through a hole in blanket. There was a rose in his hand. He was looking at it with a smile. I hold my breath. For a moment I felt like the most miserable woman this world has ever seen. He lay down on the bed and after a few minutes he was asleep. I looked at him.

-do you ever dream of me? I don’t think so. But you're in all of my dreams every night.

-do you ever think of me? I think about you every second.

-you're so much better than me. everyone likes you but I'm…

I thought maybe I wasn’t enough or perfect. I was so jealous of Audra.

I fell asleep while sinking in my tears.

I woke up and Charles wasn’t there again.

-he can't wait to see her.

I said with a smirk.

I went to the library. Books are the best choice when you want to forget something. I chose a book and sat on the floor in the corner. Physically I was there but mentally I was in the first place I saw him.

-I wish I had never seen you.

I stood up and stared at the sky. the weather was so cool and everyone was happy in the garden. I looked at the place I used to sit with Charles and read books.

I stared for a few minutes but something caught my attention. Charles was sitting behind a tree. I focused on him.

-please don’t have somebody there. Please be alone.

One of the maids was approaching them. I was afraid of losing face. Someone went between the bushes. It was probably Audra. Charles looked back and told something to the maid then she disappeared. He looked relieved. Audra waved at him and ran away. He smiled back.

-how could you do this to me?

It was the only thing I could say. I was shocked and couldn’t believe. One part of me wanted to believe but the other part didn’t want to.

Suddenly I was furious and full of anger. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I tore one of the pages out, crumpled it and threw it away.

I went in the garden. and sat near that tree. He didn’t notice me. he was drawing again. I sighed then suddenly he looked back.

-oh honey did I scare you?

-Caroline! No no you didn’t. did you sleep well last night?

I wanted to punch him in face but he looked so kind. Once I stare in his eyes I forget everything.

-yes I did. I dreamed all night long.

I felt an ache in my heart.

He laughed and said:

-oh you did? What was it about?

-you. It's always you.

He seemed disturbed but forced a smile.

-I don’t deserve your love Caroline. You're so kind and sweet. Thank you.

Of course you don’t!

I was full of anger again.

.................

I was still awake when Charles left the room again. He said he need to talk to Tim.

-alright then I will sleep. I'm exhausted.

-it's fine. I'll comeback very soon.

I fell asleep immediately. I was tired of thinking and crying. I saw that nightmare again. I was running again but then stopped and took the dagger. I was more willing this time.

when I woke up Charles wasn’t in his bed. It was near sunrise but it was still dark outside. I went outside because I couldn’t sleep anymore. I stood there shivering in the cold weather. Everywhere was dark and foggy like me. I heard something behind me. I looked around but no one was there.

I heard something again. Someone said please go. I looked around but I froze.

-Audra in my favorite place. His hug.

I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t ready for seeing Charles and Audra hugging each other.

He said:

-don’t be afraid. She's sleeping. I'll go now.

I wanted to scream: I'm here! I can see you! I'm not a fool!

Audra smiled and said goodbye. He was approaching me but I couldn’t walk. My legs were numb. I walked toward the door behind the garden. no one uses that. I felt like I'm suffocating. I reach for the doorknob and entered my room. I lay on bed and covered my face. He came in after a minute. it was hard not to cry. He sat on his chair and started writing something.

I needed to do something. I couldn’t tolerate it. I couldn’t see them cheating on me and breaking my heart in every second.

- I will take my revenge.