Dear Journal,

Sorry, I keep forgetting about you. Things have mostly stayed the same. My birthday is coming up. My birthday will arrive in four days to a week. I won't tell Abaddon. What my father did for my birthday was cook my favorite meal and made a delicious cake. The best meal I can make is taking out the coconut slices and some shrimp. In five days, I will tell Abaddon not to cook for me and that I'll make my meal for dinner. I don't think he will care. I'll write in you on my birthday. Goodbye, Sixer.

Journal,

As I promised, this is the day I write in you. Yes, it is my birthday. I'm eating coconut slices and shrimp while staring at the sunset. I also have my axe. God, I can't wait until I see my dad. I can imagine the scenario. I'm waiting for him near a deck somewhere in Europe or the Americas. He runs towards me and we embrace. He asks where I've been, how did I get here, and are you safe. I tell him, "Dad, I can answer those questions later. Let's just savor this moment."

Three months more. I can't believe Abaddon makes me wait a year. I wonder what family Abaddon has. He seems in some hurry but not enough hurry to wait a year. I wonder if the scrolls will maybe save his family. Maybe, Abaddon is extremely patient. The horses on the scroll are probably his family. I think that Abaddon won't let me touch the scroll because he doesn't want me to ask questions. Abaddon seems not to like to be asked questions. I wonder what was Abaddon's past. Maybe, Abaddon was a mythical protector. Or, Abaddon and his family were librarians to an ancient library that has all the knowledge of the universe. Maybe, he told me the truth that he is a god.

I look at my axe. I wonder if my father ever used it. My father doesn't like violence. I wonder if my father used it to protect my mom. Then they fell in love. Then she left. He was left to cry and I was left to hate her. Anyway, I wonder if my grandfather used it. I met my grandpa and grandma before. In fact, often if we were too poor, we went to stay with them. They're nice. I haven't seen them in years since we left London. I wonder how he used it. I wonder if my grandma used it. My grandma is a tough lady she might have used it.

My school friends in London thought I didn't know my mom's family. I did know them. My grandparents stopped talking to me or my dad after my mother left us. I still talked to my aunt, my mom's sister, on the boat. My aunt got pregnant at fourteen and married at seventeen. My aunt did have a miscarriage, but at sixteen she got pregnant again. This child, my nephew, is nine. My aunt says the man that got her pregnant at fourteen was a terrible man. My aunt loves my uncle very much. My uncle seems nice. I've only met him once when the circus was visiting. Sorry, I didn't mention that my aunt works in the circus with my uncle. My uncle was fun and he seem to have a great relationship with Ronald, my nephew.

Actually, I don't know my dad's siblings. My dad's siblings immigrated to another country. I think the country they immigrated to was Australia. My dad has two siblings. My dad said that it was probably better that they moved. While true that my grandparents are doing well when my dad and his siblings were kids, they were poor like us. Apparently, my aunt and uncle are doing very well for themselves. I only remember them from the letters they always send at my birthday, my dad's birthday, and Christmas. They apparently own a bakery. The cake that I always eat at my birthday is a recipe from them. My uncle is married and has two kids while my aunt is not married. My father says that my aunt, Aunt Josephine, doesn't want to get married. My dad says that Aunt Josephine has a cute little tabby cat. One of my dad's goals was to earn enough money to visit or go to live with them.

Weirdly soon, I would be trying to help him with that goal. My dad said that in fifteen more months we would get back to London. He said that when we got back to London I could start working. My dad, no matter how poor we would be, he wouldn't let me work young. He said that it wasn't fair that I had to carry the burden of our situation. I don't think that was very smart. If I was allowed to work as a younger boy, I could bring two salaries to the home. We could have enough money to buy something useless and just used for decoration once a month. I would have gotten a good job that had a good boss. I asked my dad if my uncle would let my cousins work. He said that they don't need to.

My cousins are extremely lucky. Probably aren't worried about food or clothes. I hope they stay in that situation. I hope when they have children all of their tummies are full and have heavy expensive coats. I should go it's getting too dark to write and I finished ages ago.

Journal,

I'm back in the hut. The scariest thing happened last night. I was walking to the hut and Abaddon pushed onto a rock.

He yelled in my face while spitting, "Why aren't you home?"

I tried as hard as I could to talk but, the shock and his hoof against my chest made it almost impossible to talk. I finally got a sentence out replying to him, "I was going to the hut."

I also wanted to scream, "What you mean home it's just a hut." but I couldn't talk much. He let me go and told me to ride him.

"After all that the next thing you say is to ride you," I screamed, "How about an I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, now ride." He spoke. I didn't want to hold on to this grudge so, I rode him.