Arc 0: Prelude 22 - A Solution

solution /səˈluːʃ(ə)n/

a means of solving a problem or dealing with a difficult situation.

Lauren and Zachary were now resting on the school’s rooftop. With the kids in the field, the few teachers down in their offices, and the janitor cleaning up the halls, this was the only place where they could have a moment of peace for themselves.

The sky’s twilight luminescence offered them a tranquil shade to take shelter under. Adding to that serenity was the wind blowing gently in a soothing atmosphere. Not a person was in sight nor a voice could be heard. They were perfectly alone. Everything was nice.

“So you were on a trip, huh.” Lauren faintly uttered.

As Zachary had explained, he had been trying to broaden his horizons, to learn more about the world around him rather than being kept up in his room for weeks on end — something that Lauren had taught him to do in the first place. The best option to do with that while recovering was for him to leave the town entirely for a while, he believed a change of pace was in order.

Yet Lauren was puzzled. She never imagined someone like him would ever do something so different.

“I realized something after the accident,” he explained. “I’ve… never really done anything with my life, and the fact that I almost lost it for just being a pessimistic moron — a snob — I… I was scared. I felt my whole life play in front of me on repeat every day. I know this is gonna sound preachy, but it felt like… a calling? Like, you know.” He chuckled at his poor choice of words.

Although his words might have seemed like the prattle of a fraud acting as a cultist, they were true. His voice was loud, clear, and concise. There was a tone of enthusiasm echoing from within, one that replicated the genuineness of the passion he had once heard and seen.

“It’s then tha▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓”

His words faded, shifting to the static notes of white noise. It had been fully engulfed by the lonely wind, leaving Lauren all by herself with her thoughts.

She stood there, solemnly staring into the abyss, as the cheerful charlatan went on with the conversation, and yet…

…she couldn’t hear him; she didn’t want to hear him.

Not a care in the world was plastered on her face, despite being with him.

「What the hell…?」

This was Zachary, but the one in front of her was anyone but him, he was hardly recognizable at all. This was supposed to be the boy she had been dying to meet this entire time, the one whose thoughts brought her nothing but anguish and pain.

Whenever she thought about him, her heart would beat, both from yearning and fear. Back then, he was someone she could find shelter within, even with his pessimism, he was still truthful, still pragmatic. Perhaps he was hard to reach at first due to the walls he had built around himself from years of ineptitude.

However, now… the walls were gone and so was he.

It felt as if he tore it down and then ran as far away as he could beyond it until nothing of him remained.

The man that stood before her wasn’t Zachary. He brought no feeling to her heart.

She eyed him a look; his voice returned.

“▓▓▓▓▓ust say it was perfectly timed as well, it really helped me in more ways than one▓▓▓▓▓”

His voice would fade and come back again. Like she had been tuning the radio from one channel to the other, trying to find the right and clear frequency, all in an effort to simply “hear.”

But that begged the question: did she want to hear it?

“▓▓▓▓▓as THAT guy?! Talk about the embodiment of self-angst.”

All smiles, self-boasts, and no awareness of the world around him — not even to the girl beside him whose eyes told a somber tale.

If there was one thing that remained from the “old” him, it was his tendency for being self-absorbed, which in itself was self-destructive from both sides, be it within someone with prudish optimism or a coward hiding within their own cynical bubble.

“Guess you could say I was enlightened,” he gave a wry smile, “But again▓▓▓▓▓”

She looked away; his voice faded.

Lowering her head, she turned to rest it on the ledge with her arms beneath. The rooftop’s ledge covered almost all of their bodies, which made it a good spot to rest beside. She had completely ignored Zachary’s presence, opting to rest away from him. There was hardly any doubt he even noticed her movement.

What was with him? Lauren was bewildered.

Ever since they met up with each other, he had been acting as if nothing happened, as if he hadn’t been gone for a while. Although he did acknowledge it, he was treating it like he was only gone for a few days, and the only excuse he had was a “retreat.” It might be excusable given time.

But he disappeared for almost an entire month without a word.

「Not a word; not a single word from him.」

And now that he came back, he was different.

It was all him, him, and him, but he was not himself. The guy she knew was one shrouded in a cloud of pessimism. There was so much one had to do in order to get to him, to understand him, to be able to talk with him normally. For that, he was different.

「But he seems happy…」

She wanted to be happy for him but—

「…」

Lauren gazed at the twilight sky with dull eyes. The wind howled, puffing out a faint gust that ran through her hair, slightly messing it up.

But that didn’t matter. If even the guy she desperately waited for to pull her out of this pit, wasn’t of any help — the guy she believed would color her world once again — then none of it mattered.

“...”

Melancholy existed; it persisted.

“▓▓▓▓▓ey,” Zachary’s voice returned, “Are you even listening?”

Lauren looked at him while still resting her head, he was giving her a concerned and rather disturbed expression — one that she had seen on several faces for the past few weeks. He had finally noticed her odd presence.

“You okay?”

“...,” she averted her lifeless gaze back to the sky before quietly responding in a monotonous voice, “...Why would you think I’m not?”

“Well… you’re hardly ever speaking,” he pursued his lips, “And…” he pointed a finger at her, “It looks like you’re not even listening, I thought you wanted to know where I was?”

Still, with her eyes not moving an inch, she answered, “...who says I’m not…?”

“I mean, it’s kind of weird for me to keep talking without you showing any interest. It’s not like you not to talk.”

There was no response on Lauren’s side, her gaze was fixed on the abyss.

Usually, she would be the one to lead the conversation but now she completely fell silent. For a moment, she thought of speaking up, but the words wouldn’t come out. She didn’t have it in her to start them. They were too much, carrying a weight that didn’t suit anyone’s liking; better for her to shut up and remain silent.

Instead, she went back to bury her head between her arms on the ledge.

“I’ve been blabbering too much, haven’t I?” Zachary spoke with a calm and amiable voice.

It wasn’t necessarily because of his endless; she liked his endless chatter on the contrary. As a matter of fact, she was happy to hear his voice like this.

But it was all just—

「It’s not…」

Hitting a slump in her thoughts, she kneeled to the ground and sat beside where Zachary stood, leaning her back and head opposite the ledge. Like a child lost and alone, she retreated her legs near her face, wrapping her arms around, and then burying her face once again within them.

She let out a deep sigh.

To Zachary, it seemed like she was hiding from him. Nevertheless, he too shared a sigh with her.

“Enough about me, then,” he nudged her shoe with his, “Anything interesting happened while I was gone?”

There was no response.

“Come on…!” He said in a tired, yet playful tone. Feeling like he could help her out, he followed her lead to the ground and sat beside her. “Like I said, enough about me. I’m listening.”

Complying with his request, although she felt rather forced, she tilted her head to the side, eying him a mysterious look.

Zachary couldn’t tell exactly what her face was expressing as it was mostly coated by strands of her hair. For almost an entire minute, she stared at him with the most solemn gaze, the corners of her mouth slightly facing downward.

“Uh… how’s school?” He tried to initiate a conversation.

“...I don’t know…,” she woefully answered, her dull eyes never leaving his sight, as if stuck in a trance.

“I… I see…,” he scratched his head. Such an ordeal was way behind Zachary’s skills to deal with. “Well, how’s your book going?”

“...I don’t know…,” she said. Yet again, the same answer in the same lifeless tone.

Still, he tried, “Why? I thought you said they contacted you. Did they not?”

“...no…,” a different answer came out of her mouth this time.

Despite his initial surprise when he heard her response, he continued, thinking not all hope had plummeted yet, “W-Why? Why would they not?”

“...I don’t know…,” her answer shifted back even after the conversation had moved somewhat.

“But that’s absolutely insane beyond measure. You’re the winner for God’s sake. Did you not contact them about it?”

“....I……,” she pursed her lips and averted his gaze to think for a minute.

Even in her downcast mood, the beauty of her face never faded. It would make anyone feel almost envious. However, she did not care about that.

Her mind was in a state of disarray. She was puzzled once again over Zachary’s concern. When did he ever truly show care to someone? And even if he did, he never knew how to provide for someone, to help someone. He lacked the ability to stand on his own two feet without support.

So why, now, was he doing this?

He was riddling her mind with questions that he most likely had the answers to given the way she seemed to be. For someone who preferred to waste time, he was surely wasting it in avoiding accepting the truth.

“...You’re weird, you know…,” she uttered in the same low tone.

“Huh?!”

Hearing a response, she looked at him. There were both sad and shocked expressions on his face. After seeing that, she could not help but look away again and bury her face between her legs.

“...,” she sighed, “...I’m weird…”

But Zachary did not hear her, he was too focused on the response before, “Wait? Is it because of me? Is that why you didn’t contact them? Am I the problem?”

「It’s not you…」

She had her eyes lost in thought as she bit the tip of her nail.

「It’s me…」

Zachary wasn’t the only one who changed.

What was with her?

Lauren was bewildered.

As the honor student, she was a model student who followed the rules and did well in her school. She was always cheerful and handing out greetings here and there for anyone she passed. She was a girl with a passion raptured by flames that never went out.

However, for the longest time now, that model and the ideal type of student was gone, that flame of passion within her had been extinguished.

She was not herself. These thoughts were not her own.

If that was truly the case, what right did she have to avoid answering him? She had changed just as much as him, albeit for the worse it might seem.

For the truth was, she was simply projecting her change onto his and pretending to be of the same nature. In reality, none of his changes were ever really bad. He had completely grown over his past self. And so for that—

“...It’s my fault,” she finally spoke up, catching his attention.

「Don’t mess this up!」

“...It’s my fault… it’s my fault that things got—” she paused before running her hands through her hair in frustration, “Ugh… I don’t think I can do this.”

「I just can’t…」

A few seconds passed, she was still holding her hands over her head. As with how the conversation was going, she expected a remark but… it never came.

There was no response on Zachary’s side.

Confused, she turned to look at him. His face was still with a faint smile. No reaction whatsoever. That was his way of staying completely silent, committing to the fact that he was going to listen to her.

「Right… I can do this.」

Lauren took another moment for herself to recollect her thoughts.

「It’s Zach. No one strange.」

“...you disappeared…,” she turned her sight to the ground, “I thought you were avoiding me. When I realized I never got the chance to say sorry for back then, I felt guilt, and it’s been eating away at me ever since. But that’s not the problem…”

「...」

“School, my parents, my friends, everything felt dull!” Her voice had shifted to an even lower tone, “Everything became a problem and it was harder and harder to bear… All these expectations of me…,” her tongue halted. She lacked the words for more, “I’m just tired… I don’t know what this is.”

「...and that’s it…」

Everything turned quiet after she finished her explanation.

Yet again, there was no response.

「...Is he mad at me?」

Looking back at him, she noticed his face had been stuck to that of a dumbfounded expression. It almost frightened her how static he was with his expressions.

“So that’s it?!” Zachary turned from surprise to immediate laughter. “Haha!”

「What…?!!」

Laughter… that was his reaction.

It had shocked her that it almost woke her up from the trance she was falling in. His cackle broke the total silence they were enraptured within. It echoed loudly throughout the place; the kids down the street could have even heard it as well.

“You were having a depressive episode…,” he clarified.

“Huh…,” she went from feeling shocked to curious.

“Wow, never had one, huh,” he realized, “I’m sorry for laughing like this but I… I’m just so used to it that I can recognize it. Just like that!”

“You… were like this?”

「Of course, he was…」

“Yeah, but then after traveling I just realized how close-minded I was to fall for it. I was actively avoiding anything social and thought poor of anyone who tried to engage with me. I didn’t listen to anyone.” He crossed his legs, “That’s the one thing I’m glad to get rid of.”

「So that’s how it is…」

Lauren had gone quiet.

Out of everyone around her, he was with the one who truly understood what these insecurities entailed to a person. And it was exactly because he knew that he had the desire to change, even if it was slightly misguided at times.

Knowing that, she believed he would understand her. But instead, he was treating it with a laugh, completely disregarding what she had said and what she meant by her words. Not even he was able to understand her.

Despite him being the one who offered to listen to her problems, he was the one who was pushing it away. The conversation suddenly shifted to him again.

“Guess you could say I was enlightened,” he gave a wry smile, “A welcome change!”

「Change…」

There was no denying it.

Change. Unexplained and bizarre change was simply crawling all over them. It was there from the start. It was there when she first came to this town that was once filled with hope. It was there when she had heard of the bizarre incident around town. It was everywhere. It took only a little bit of time. It was in everyone.

He had changed.

She had changed.

But why?

“...”

「It’s all because of this town…」

She had to stop denying it. The longer she stayed in the town, the faster it issued change, feasting on the loneliness within. The longer she was alone, the better the void pulled her in.

「It’s all because of this world…」

Being left alone to themselves when they had no one but each other to understand was the reason for all that. When they were alone, the world aimed to control them how it deemed fit.

She changed, she believed for the worse.

He changed, he believed for the better.

Yet in the end, it was a change neither desired.

「I’m tired of it.」

If they ran away from it all together, then perhaps…

“...!”

She had found a solution.

△▼△▼△▼△▼△

Both Zachary and Lauren were still sitting on the ground with their backs to the wall of the ledge. They hadn’t uttered a word to each other for a while, yet they were in their own worlds contrasting to one another.

Zachary sat with a bright expression, taking in the peaceful atmosphere of nightfall around him. Lauren, on the other hand, still had her face buried in her arms and between her legs.

The weather was nice.

「That’s it…」

Zachary liked it.

It was neither too cold or too hot, perfectly made for the short time of fall. Soon, winter and its snowstorm would arrive, so it was nice to enjoy the weather with this freedom whilst they still could.

Once again, the wind roared against them.

After the gust had cleared, there wasn’t a single sound echoing in the atmosphere, not even the wind. Only silence existed and nothing else.

Everything.

Everywhere.

The whole world fell completely silent.

“Hey Zach…,” Lauren uttered with a clear voice finally, breaking the silence. She raised her head and looked at him.

He turned to face her as well with obliviousness. It easily grabbed his attention as it had been quite a bit since he had heard her voice like that.

There was a bright smile drawn on her face; her signature smile at long last. However, the smile… didn’t quite fit with her lifeless eyes. It felt like a doll was looking at him.

And so… he awaited her answer. “What’s up?”

“Let’s jump off… just like the lighthouse!”

「...」

Zachary froze; his smile petrified.

「Huh…?!!」