Arc 0: Prelude 6 - Lost within Change

fear /fɪə/

avoid doing something because one is afraid.

From out the window, up the outer stairs, and around the gallery, the duo almost reached the pinnacle of the lighthouse.

The gentle breeze of the wind only found near ocean waves, brushed against their face, producing this strange euphoria within them. Adding onto that jubilation was the nightfall scenery that lingered in place wherever they went.

Lauren would call for Zachary, urging him to keep up with her, every five seconds or so, she was really eager to show him this “last step.”

“What are you doing?”

Although with questions on his mind, Zachary asked her with a smile.

In his eyes, she still looked odd and crazy. But now he could not really see it as a bad thing, far from it. That sense of madness and passion blended together formed an infatuation so meticulous; it could only be seen as fantastic. If there was any other experience that replicated this free and mindless joy, it would have probably been the strange stimulants that every parent warned their children from. However, this feeling was more than that, this was incomparable.

Dozed off in his own daydream of thought, he woke up when he realized Lauren was no longer by his side.

“Over here,” a voice came from over his head.

There she was, the girl of magnificent imagination, on top of the cupola, with joy still on her face. She had taken the ladder that was just near Zachary at the moment, and made it to the very top of the lighthouse.

When he realized that the cupola was, and how it was a little steep for one’s foot to step on, Zachary began to worry. “Isn’t it a little dangerous?”

“Eh, feels fine to me,” she leisurely walked around the cupola to show off. It felt as if she could lose her footing and fall at any moment, and yet nothing happened, “What do you think?”

「I think I’m going to die.」

He swallowed the lump in his throat, mustered up what little courage he had, and held onto the ladder.

In a matter of seconds, he was up safely on the highest peak of the lighthouse, standing right beside Lauren. He tried to lean on the edge to see how the world looked from up here. They weren’t high up by a large margin, but it still had quite the effect on how wide the view down appeared.

“What are we going to do?” He still had no idea why he was here.

Lauren snickered, “We’re going to shock our minds after all that rest.”

「Rest?! But we barely got any.」

Unless by that, she meant rest from school, then perhaps it was something to be considered as so. But then again, there wasn’t anything of note that happened at school that would make him feel particularly restless, including the errands he had to run. It wasn’t until he made it to this pier and had to traverse through it, like an adventure who knew nothing better but to risk his life at every second, that he felt fatigue building in both his mind and body.

While he was off in his own world of overthinking, Lauren was already moving on with her plan.

She took off her school pullover and threw it on the side, unbuttoned the shirt that was underneath, and finally, she took off her shoes and socks. Now she was wearing nothing but a light tank top and her skirt. There was no need to take the rest off, she believed, as she wanted to shield herself from the cold breeze — although those two pieces won't exactly do the job.

When Zachary turned to look at her after finishing his deep thoughts, his face reddened and he backed away in embarrassment. He did not take Lauren for someone who would casually take off most of her clothes in front of others, especially in front of a boy she had just met.

But even with his visible look of discomposure, Lauren took nothing of it.

“W-What the hell are you… d-doing… like that?” He tried to keep his words together.

“Taking a leap of faith!” She smiled.

Following those words, she ran to the rear of the copula.

“Try to keep up with me!!!”

And then, she leapt forward and… jumped.

She jumped as high as one could, putting a good distance between her and the lighthouse. In an instant, she was gone from Zachary’s sight.

“...!” He felt his heart stop and body freeze at that moment.

*SPLASH*

What followed after was the clamorous sound of impact against the ocean floor.

If his mind was in the right place, then Lauren had simply jumped off the lighthouse and dived into the ocean. This manner of thinking was not exactly “in the right place,” but if it were… that girl went beyond the definition of madness.

He carefully walked over to the rear where she had initially jumped. It took him a few seconds before he could get himself to look down and watch the scene before him. Even then, there was not much to see… because he had his eyes closed.

“Come on down!”

Suddenly, the cheerful voice of the girl, who almost led to his death several times, came back ringing in his ears.

Opening his eyes, he saw Lauren’s small figure floating on top of the water. She was completely fine. No scratches. No broken legs. Nothing of note that would make her scream in pain.

“Come on, get down here,” she called out once again.

“Can’t I just get down… the normal way?!” He replied back.

She shook her head. “It’s part of the experience, you have to jump!”

“Are you mad?!" He snapped, almost slipping off the cupola in the process from his movement before he quickly picked himself back up, “There’s no way in hell I’m making that jump?”

“You made it all the way up, so why stop now? Jump!”

“But…”

He thought about it for a moment. This whole situation, all the weird things that have been happening to him, they all brought him joy. He felt it before, and he felt it again now. It was no illusion. He was so caught up with his safety and what was around him that he hadn’t realized until now. That was genuine joy beating in his heart this entire time.

Lauren was amazing. She had brought excitement into his mundane life.

And yet—

「I don’t want to jump.」

Looking at the sea again from this height almost brought him nausea. He hadn’t been to many high places, so of course, he would be completely ignorant to the fact that he feared heights.

「Don’t think about it!」

He stepped back with his eyes closed…

「Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it! I have to change! I’m allowed to dream!」

…and took a leap of faith.

…

When he opened his eyes, he was in the air. The wind was rushing incredibly against his body. He felt he was being pulled into the water at immense speed, like a picture that suddenly grew larger and more detailed.

Before he knew it, he dropped in the ocean.

Under this ocean, the water was rushing at his body from every direction possible. It was harder to move. Everything felt slower as if the moment had completely stopped in time

“...!”

For some reason… he could not swim back to the surface. His body had halted every possible system that aided his movement.

And into the darkness, he went.

The deep, deep darkness of the beyond.

△▼△▼△▼△▼△

There was nothing at all.

No sound.

No feeling.

Complete isolation from the world, a world that was slowly fading away from sight, a world consumed by darkness.

Everything was engulfed in darkness, not a single distinctive object was in sight, everything looked and felt the same.

Nothing.

Dark and empty.

No sight or sound.

This was a fate worse than death.

「Where…?」

Zachary tried to speak his thoughts, but nothing would come out.

Where was the ocean? Where were the islands? Where were the mountains? Where was the sky? Where was the Old Pier?

Where was anything?

Where was that feeling of jubilation? Where was that world that was so close to being bright-colored? Where was it?

Where was Lauren?

Confused by his current predicament, he stood up. He had regained control of his body, and yet he didn’t feel quite there like he was floating somehow. It felt as if he was in someone else’s as if this was a mere dream.

If he was dead, then surely he wouldn’t be greeted by this void. That was what he believed at least.

But no, this wasn’t death.

It wasn’t because he knew, and more so because he had a feeling. Even in that void, he was able to conjure a feeling. It was a feeling of unrest, but it was a feeling nonetheless.

Not set on leaving himself like this, he walked.

He walked for seconds, minutes, hours, or maybe days. Who knew?

There was no sense of time here. Just the purpose of moving.

Before he realized it, the void around him had shifted entirely to a small and narrow hallway in what seemed like a small apartment. Even with this change, he pressed onward to the end. This apartment was not strange to his eyes.

He remembered it.

A muffled masculine voice echoed throughout the hallway, yet it was still clear enough to be heard.

Zachary still walked, not showing any sign of stopping until he reached that door, the door at the end of the hallway, the source of the voices. Step after step, he moved in an unruly manner, having no real control over his legs, as if he was just a child learning how to walk, or a drunk who could barely tell his head from toe. Even the world around him began to levitate upwards as if he lost the height of his legs.

Yet he continued on like nothing was wrong, only following his curiosity.

Another voice emerged, this time a feminine one that seemed too weak and kind to be in such a situation. It seemed like the two were arguing against each other for someone that was not there at that time.

The argument went on.

The voices grew louder.

It wasn’t stopping. With every word the man uttered, Zachary felt his heart ache, but he felt it, even more, when the woman tried to fight back despite her weakness.

All of this felt too familiar.

Before he knew it, he was already standing in front of the door with his hand at the knob — which was quite the length away from him, but he managed to stand on his toes and reach for it.

The voices stopped.

He gripped the knob tightly.

Should he open the door? He wondered.

It wasn’t a matter of “should” more than it was a matter of “could.” For all he knew, this was a bizarre world that could pull anything at any moment.

「No!」

He had already decided before. He was going to move forward without fail, even if it meant facing the unthinkable.

And so, he twisted the knob and pushed the door forward with all his might.

Everything felt noticeably heavier than before for some reason. There was no sound of the door creaking or any pressure coming from the room that closed.

There was only one thing present inside the room.

An unforgettable sight.

Looking from down to up, Zachary carefully watched the scene before him in horror.

The blood dripping from the feet, the legs floating in the air, the body that was too limp to be alive, and the neck that was tied to the noose.

Someone had hung themselves up.

Their face was devoid of life… yet it stared down at him with shock.

“GAH!!!”

Zachary screamed as he fell to the ground on his back.

He looked back at the dreadful sight of the corpse, his shaking hands and arms could not support him well to have a good look. He did not want to face that sight. He could hear the sound of his voice shaking as his breathing got heavier.

In all his rush and panic, he stood up and ran away…

…never to look back on that sight…

…locking it away from his mind.

He ran and ran in the endless void.

「Get me out of here!」

He did not care.

「Get me out of here!」

He just wanted to run away as quickly as possible.

「Get me out of here!」

There was nothing after all — at least, that was what he believed.

“Someone get me out of here!!!” Zachary shouted.

…

…

“Zach!”

A sound echoed in his right ear, a familiar feminine voice.

But where was he? How could he reach it?

Before he could answer this question, he felt the weight of something creeping under his armpits, before his body was slowly lifted up. It felt as if someone was pulling him away. An immense pressure broke down on him, yet his body effortlessly pushed against it.

He felt rather lethargic. The void was fading away from his sight.

That was when it clicked with him.

It was still not over.

「...yes...」

He was not alone this time.

He had her.

And so ended the nightmare of a memory.

△▼△▼△▼△▼△

Deep from the seabed and up to the ocean floor in a matter of seconds, Lauren pulled Zachary out of the water.

She could not understand why this had happened.

One moment, Zachary was diving into the water in front of her, and in the next, he did not come back. For a second, she thought he was joking around, but then a second passed, and then the next, and the next… no sign of him, he was just not swimming back.

There was only one conclusion: drowning.

When she came to that realization, she almost froze before she thought of acting quickly to save him.

And just so it happened, she was now carrying his body and pulling him out of the ocean after he had drowned.

Thankfully, they were close to the beach right beside the docks, which served as a safe place to reach for now, and a place they could head back up from.

「We were just having fun. Why did it come to this?」

Simply put, she did not account for the other person that was with her. All she cared about was showing off everything that she had experienced and was capable of. It wasn’t to that extent of self-absorption. There was still goodwill in her actions, she merely wanted to share her secret source of joy and passion with someone else and recklessly thought they’d feel the same.

「But he was smiling… he looked happy. Was I too forceful?」

Nothing of what she thought mattered now. She had to save Zachary.

Walking up to the shore, she placed Zachary on the sand before lying on her knees next to him. She tried her hardest to think of how to save him.

She knew nothing whatsoever about CPR. There was, of course, the option of running with him to the nearest hospital. But she wasn't going to make it on time considering they were off at the edge of town.

「You gotta do something, Lauren.」

Just as she was about to place her hands on his chest…

His eyes suddenly opened. Following that were a couple of coughs that spilled out the water trapped inside him. He breathed heavily after recovering as he tried to grasp the world around him.

Zachary was back in the world of the living.

△▼△▼△▼△▼△

“Oh thank god!” Lauren gasped in relief, “Are you okay? Can you see me? What happened down there? Why did you jump if you didn't know how to swim? Why didn’t you stop me? How could you let yourself drown there?”

Even after escaping the brink of death, there was no escaping the questions. However, the plethora of questions this time were coming from the girl he never expected to see with a panic-stricken face. It was obvious how bad she was in her panicked state. Most of her questions didn’t make sense and were unreasonable to ask.

Coming back to his senses, Zachary noticed that Lauren had both her hands tightly gripping his arms as if she was trying to hold him from running away.

Her eyes were filled to the brim with worry. There was sweat dripping from her side (or maybe it was just from the water). If what he had experienced was just a hallucination, then what could have happened to him in the real world? Whatever happened to him, it must have worried her a great ton.

“What…” He tried speaking.

After seeing him gradually returning back to consciousness, she shook her head in an attempt to ease her worry.

“Hey hey, it’s me. Don’t worry…,” her voice was soothing.

Solace gradually seeped into his mind, putting him at rest.

It was as if he was a lost child who was reunited with his parents after some time. In this case, it was a hopeless idiot pulled back into reality by the only one who believed in him, a girl that he had just met the other day, yet felt like he had known her for decades.

“Why…,” her voice still had bizarre cracks in the tone, “What happened to you?”

Zachary remembered what happened clearly. But he didn’t want to worry her even more with something that wouldn’t make sense to her.

He tried to laugh it off, “Hey… I was just… taking it all in… like you said before.”

Hearing that awful attempt at a sense of humor eased her distress and made her almost laugh for a second — which was exactly what he intended — but her eyes were still struck with fret.

「Was she… crying?」

Before he could dwell on that thought further, she replied to his joke.

“I don’t… I don’t think that same method applies here,” she chuckled.

“I guess not… Wanna see me try again?”

“Oh shut up, this is nothing to joke about.”

Lauren was irritated by the fact that he was smiling so casually. Yet, she let a chuckle escape her breath. She was laughing about this entire scene. A worrisome idiot tending to a careless idiot that she had just met the other day, both alone on that dusk-coated beach. It was a fact that they both believed: they were idiots.

She sighed, “I have a feeling this partnership of ours is going to be quite troublesome.”

He coughed two times instead of laughing, before clearing his throat to answer her properly. “You don’t say.”

And just like that, the two were enveloped within a world of their own.

△▼△▼△▼△▼△

“If this isn’t an omen, I don’t know what is.”

“It’s called being an idiot.” Lauren tried to reassure Zachary.

Despite all the hesitation and thought he was at that moment, he realized that he had still jumped off the lighthouse and into the water fully clothed.

“Perhaps I was too reckless.”

“That’s one way to look at it.” Lauren tried to mock him, “Perhaps you should carefully look things over before doing something.”

“Really? And what if I fa~~” He lowered his head as if he were going to drop dead on the ground.

“No!” She reached for his shoulders to pull him back up, “Don’t sleep now!”

“But I wanna sleep so bad, come on,” he spoke like a nagging child. He could stomp his legs on the ground and it wouldn’t feel odd with the manner he spoke in.

Lauren sighed, “So you do have a fun side… at awful times. Come on, we should get you home now.”

“Oh, we’re here actually!”

After a few encounters with the military police patrolling the town (to ensure that everyone was acting accordingly), the two rascals were out of the main streets and into neighborhood side streets, away from all the ruckus.

On their left was a metal gate that reached up to almost a two-story building, preceding it was a long path of immaculate concrete tiles surrounded by fields of grass with the lightest color on both sides — the rest was barely visible due to how long the path was. Beyond the trees and fields, a mansion sprung up from afar.

“Oh wow,” Lauren was surprised, “I didn’t know you lived near a mansion like this! Must feel bad living so close to your drea—”

Zachary passed her and went right in the direction of the mansion itself. It didn’t take long before he approached the gate and pushed it open with ease.

“Wait wait wait wait— You live here?!!” She shouted with surprise.

She moved backward in shock while staring at the mansion in all of its entirety. Its sight was something to behold. The number of windows plastered on its front was endless, it was almost close to being a glass house — talk about privacy for a ‘private’ mansion. Despite the archaic feel to it (like everything in that town), it was rather clean in its presentation with white paint coating its entirety. It could potentially pass off as a modern mansion with an old gothic decoration when in reality, it was over a hundred years old.

A revelation of this magnitude left Lauren in utter awe. She looked at Zachary after getting her fill of the mansion’s image.

Even though he had seen her react in shock, he could feel a moment of scolding rising up.

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Of course I’m mad!” She stomped her feet on the ground like a child throwing a tantrum. “You’re living the high life—”

“It’s not all what it looks like… Just flare and no color.” He spoke before she could go on. He still bore his apologetic expression yet he wanted to make it clear what type of colorless life he had been led to in this place. He wanted to vent out all the problems he had with this “home,” however… “Besides, we’ve only just met.”

“Excuses, excuses,” she closed her eyes and waved her arm around in rejection as she approached him, “I don’t want any of that, Mister. That should have been the first thing you said when we first met.”

He raised an eyebrow and thought for a moment. “What? Should I have just said “Hey, I’m rich and I live in a huge mansion that could rival Dracula’s” or something like that?”

All of a sudden, Lauren sprung up on her feet, grabbed Zachary’s hand, and held them both up before closing some of the distance between him and her.

Her face lit up with excitement like never before, “I’d marry you on the spot!”

Those words left him shocked and speechless.

For all the bizarre things happening that day, he felt a slight ache in his heart. Seeing Lauren’s face and hearing her words only deepened that ache within him. Why? He would wonder. Because those simple words would make anyone flutter in fantasy. Right about now, he should be dreaming in his little cloud bubble about their wedding together — a fantasy fit for the gullible. But he knew better.

“But leave out the Dracula part,” she let go of his hands as she turned away.

He chuckled, hiding his dismay. “I knew you’d say that.”

“Yeah, nothing could beat Dracula’s castle if we’re being honest.” She rushed back to Zachary with a, once again, exciting look. “I mean, have you seen it, man? It could very much be a castle and a tower… and it moves!!!”

This was all just a jestering matter.

「Of course she was only joking.」

But after confirming for himself, he felt the ache in his heart slightly fade away. And truth be told, he did not want anything else. He was glad to be able to have a friend to joke with. It was a dream come true, and a step in the right direction.

“By the way,” He tried to distract his thoughts, “What were you going to show me back in the ocean? The thing about freshening up our minds.”

Lauren thought for a second before it hit her, “Oh? It was this!”

She reached for her bag and pulled out a large cold coin to show off to Zachary.

“A coin… golden coin?” He did not get her enthusiasm, “That’s what I almost drowned for? And you had it with you this entire time?”

“N-No, there was more down in the sea, a-and I didn’t you were gonna…,” she stopped when she finally remembered the purpose of this coin, “This is not just any coin. It’s a Grail Coin.”

Instead of replying back to her, he felt lost. He had no idea what she was talking about. It left him with an unfocused gaze of confusion.

“Well, they say,” she started explaining the story, “In the past, there was a race across the globe for obtaining the legendary “Holy Grail.” The participants were divided into factions with their own allies. It was said that those who got ahold of its coins were closer to the prize than most. But it wasn’t just any type of Grail Coins, they were supposed to be coins that aligned with their factions. This one bears the sigil of the Hanged Man.”

She quickly held the coin right in front of Zachary’s eyes to show its details.

The coin was certainly bigger than any coin he had ever seen before.

It was rusty, most likely from being under the ocean for who knew how long. There was a certain symbol crafted on it, which seemed like a man drawn upside down. Of course, one could always rotate it to make it look upright, but what distinguished that the intended symbol was upside down was the rope at the end of the man’s leg. It was indeed… a hanged man.

“I hear that it fetches a high price on the market,” she smiled wryly.

Zachary tried to grasp what he was hearing, “You dragged me through all that trouble for treasure hunting?”

“Nooooo I would never,” the way she had said it made it hard to believe, “Now, open up your hand.”

He complied with her command.

She placed the gold coin on top of his palm, “Close your eyes.”

「This again?」

Just as before, he shut his eyes.

“Now put your other palm on this one.”

Even though he realized the beauty of such things, he still lacked enthusiasm when it came to the first-time process. Nevertheless, he listened to Lauren’s request.

“Can you feel it?”

“F-Feel what? The coin?”

“Yes. What else?”

“I guess so…”

He was holding it after all. Not feeling the coin on his hand would mean that he could not feel his hand altogether.

“Take all its features in like you did before without looking. Just touching.”

With the coin tightly in his full grasp, he rubbed both his hands against each other, getting himself to “feel” the coin that was in-between in the process.

At first, he felt the inscriptions on the coin, there were some that seemed missing, seeing as there were sharp gaps in the middle. Since there was barely anything at this “small” coin, compared to the scenery he had to look at earlier that day, he was already feeling the sigil at the center. It was neatly carved, vastly different from the inscriptions, but then something seemed to be missing as well, or rather… it was carved deeper than the rest of the body.

Curious about that last detail, Zachary opened his eyes and palm before taking a good look at the coin. It was the leg wrapped with a rope. Now that he was directly looking at it, he narrowed his eyes to focus.

「A button?」

“And that’s another test done.” Lauren clapped her hands.

Zachary flinched for a second.

He had almost forgotten that Lauren was here with him. Perhaps that was one of the points she tried to show him: to be completely engrossed in something.

“Writing isn’t just describing visuals… it’s everything.” She spoke with that same tone of passion she had when they first met, “An imagination needs to be erratic, chaotic, with terrifying and boundless freedom to conceive something.”

“Is that why you were always so quick with everything today?”

She thought for a moment and then laughed, “Sure, let’s go with that.”

Both of them were laughing, but now the tone of their voices lacked that energy and enthusiasm of earlier, it possessed a somber tone. Because they knew, with everything they had done today and with the evening itching closer, it was time for farewell.

“Uh… hey.”

“Hey…”

They spoke at the same time. But they weren’t surprised. They still had things to say, yet they were left gazing at each other.

「Maybe…」

Since they were already near his house…

「Maybe…」

Zachary moved closer to Lauren, but she instinctively turned back.

“Oh!” He realized his mistake and returned to his position, “I thought maybe you’d want to enter the mansion. We could talk about our stories too, I don’t know much about yours. Maybe we could give each other tips.”

“Oh no, it’s getting late, and I’d hate to impose.” Lauren gave off an awkward smile and rubbed the back of her head, “B-Besides, we shouldn’t be so eager like this,” her voice turned back to the usual tone, and then she placed her finger on her lips, “We should keep them a secret till after the competition.”

He couldn’t quite understand her reasoning, but he went along with it.

“But we didn’t even submit anything yet.”

“Oh we will,” she winked, “You better get ready for the weekend, it’s the deadline for submissions. And we’re meeting Myung if you haven’t forgotten.”

「That’s right!」

It felt as if Zachary was hit with a reality check. This one day of wonders had caused him to drift off far away from his dream than intended.

But now, he was reminded of his priorities, and with a new perspective at that.

And then he remembered that his story was quite gloomy, all things considered. It was never going to be a perfect fit with how his thoughts were now. However, he did not feel like he was in peril. Instead, he had never felt such a surge of confidence overwhelm him like that before.

He was going to make a new story.

With a few days left till the meeting with Myung and one chance to submit, he was going to write something new. It was going to be challenging. But he was still going to write it. He had to prove his worth as an author. He was going to gain Myung’s recognition. He had to, after all. He had a dream to fulfill.

“You look pretty excited all of a sudden,” Lauren smirked.

He remembered her part in all of this, and he could not be more thankful for meeting her and opening up his world.

「We have a dream to fulfill.」

“I mean, who wouldn’t? We’re meeting Myung. We have to be in tip-top shape no matter what. You better be ready, Lauren.” He raised his arm and pointed his finger to the sky, “We’re going to change the world!”

Lauren was surprised by his bizarre pose but ultimately found it endearing, causing her to let out a warm chuckle. It was clear that her influence had rubbed off on him a little too much, yet it all came as a benefit in the end.

“We’re meeting Myung! We’re going to change the world!” She stretched both her arms to the front, joining in on Zachary with the weird poses.

They just needed a few more people with them, to wear colorful space armor made of spandex, and their act would be officially complete.

After raising their spirits up, they waved back at each other with a smile as Lauren walked down the street. The scene looked awfully familiar to the one from the day before, except instead of being left with confusion and gloom, Zachary was now confident in himself.

He was going to write that story.

He was going to join the competition.

He was going to meet his idol.

He was going to meet Myung.