Oh, hey everyone, it's been a year since you guys last heard about me so let me catch you up on what’s been going on since then. After leaving the Sacrosanct Empire, I started traveling all across the desert with some of my friends.

First and most importantly there is my best friend, Fore, he’s a wolf and I’m the only one who can understand him, thanks to this bracelet Lunette made. He’s really cool and gives me a fresh perspective that I wouldn’t get from humans.

There is also a really smart scientist named Lunette, she can pretty much make anything you ask for which makes her handy to have around. I mean, there are definitely other reasons why I keep her around but I won’t go into that with you guys.

The last guy who has been traveling with me is Maximus, we meet him on that island with the boring tournament and that delusional guy. He kind of made us famous or is trying to make us way more famous, everywhere we go he performs these songs that are really stories about my groups’ exploits.

Recently, I have had these run-in with a troublesome organization known as the Desert Trade Union. They used to be kind of pointless but they gained influence not too long ago.

Now that I’m back in the trading game I’m having to deal with them more and more often. Some people won’t even talk to me if there isn’t a representative from the union present, they make me stand there until they can go get someone who’s only joy in life is telling that person not to trade with me.

That’s the problem, everything would be okay if I could haggle away like before but now there are these regulations that these guys have about how much items can be traded for and that certain types of goods cannot be traded for others, it’s all just a bunch of malarkey that stops good honest traders from making a profit.

This dastardly trade union has put me on their watch list of known traders to avoid. Me? The great Kayde, famous across all of the desert for my heroism? It’s ridiculous, all because these guys don’t understand that value is situational.

I try to go up to people and some guy from the union seems to always be following me around because they always interrupt me when I’m in the middle of a trade. It’s not like I need to be able to trade to survive, my friends and I have become very wealthy in our travels so I don’t trade because I need the gold.

I do it because I love all the little things that come with trading, the social interactions, knowing what makes someone tick, and ultimately being able to dance around those things to get what you want. Moments like this are why I love learning about humans. Naturally, I have come to the conclusion that I need to abolish the Desert Trade Union so that trading in the desert can return to what it once was.

And so my friends and I have arrived in the desert capital, outside of the main office of the very same union that is causing me so much trouble. I intend to talk to some of the higher-ups to understand what their deal is. What makes them tick? And how can I exploit it to my advantage?

The building we come to is run down, the paint starting to chip off the side of the poorly assembled edifice.

“Mister Kayde, are you sure this is the right place? I highly doubt an organization as prevalent as this trade union would have their headquarters in such an abysmal condition,” Maximus puts into doubt this is the correct location.

“I’m sure Maximus, this is the place Sharick told me about, his information is always good,” I assure him. I can’t let myself get lulled into thinking that their influence is any weaker just because their headquarters are so shabby. I approach the door, pushing it open and slowly entering the room.

Inside there is one small room, a couple of benches along the front wall across from a desk, behind which sits a single bespectacled man who greets us, “Hello, welcome to the desert trade union’s office. My name is Sterling, how can I help y’all today?”

I make my way up to the desk, making sure to maintain eye contact with this young man as I respond, “Hello Sterling, I have come here to discuss some of your regulations with whoever is in charge here”. I make sure to give him a smile before answering, humans are quick to trust a smile.

“Uh… sure, let me go get him,” Sterling responds as he hurriedly gets up from behind the desk and starts heading down a set of stairs that was not noticeable until he began descending them. Minutes later he comes back with a finely dressed man, equally as young and fresh-faced as Sterling.

“Hello, my name is Cooper, I am the one who runs the committee where our regulations are decided upon. Sterling here has told me that you have come here to discuss them with me,” Cooper introduces himself, extending his hand.

I take it, shaking his hand while replying, “Yes, I seem to have ended up on one of your lists, and I’ve come here to see if we can figure out something to get me off of it”. Cooper’s smile slowly turns to a frown, surely he has dealt with this sort of request before, but not from anyone as persuasive as me.

“Many people have come here looking to do the same thing you are requesting of me now. But there is a reason you ended up on that list in the first place. People look to us to protect them from swindlers like you,” Cooper tells me as he gives me a look of disdain.

I’m not a big fan of his condescending tone but I don’t let it wipe the smile off my face. I can tell by the way he responded that he actually believes what he is doing is for the better. This means he isn’t corrupt like I thought he might be, so bribing or proposing mutually beneficial favors is out of the question. Yes, I need to appeal to his humanity.

“I understand your hesitation in speaking with me, and you may be right, most of the people on your list may be swindlers. But I am not like them as I came here to explain to you,” I respond calmly, trying to give off a reasonable demeanor so I am not dismissed immediately.

“Well then, who are you?” Copper asks me. Ah, here it is. You know how I mentioned before about my groups’ exploits being put into the spotlight? This is where I can take advantage of it.

“My name is Kayde and these are my friends, Fore, Lunette, and Maximus,” I introduce all of us. I catch Lunette waving at him with a purposefully awkward look on her face, this being what she thinks people find endearing.

It doesn’t take long before Cooper’s eyes light up with the realization of who I am, “Kayde? You mean like the Kayde, the same one who rooted out the corruption in the Sacrosanct Empire and defeated the immortal man on the island to the South?”

“Yup, that him,” Lunette responds in her uniquely bubbly way.

“Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually meeting Kayde and Lunette, that’s kind of surreal. Wait… if you guys are here where are the other four?” Cooper asks, ignoring Maximus’s presence as he hasn’t gained any notoriety at all despite being the one that helped make us famous.

“We haven’t been with them ever since we left that island,” I inform him, leaving out the details that caused the split.

I can tell he is disappointed as he responds, “Oh… that’s a shame”.

“You’re a fan of one of them aren’t you?” Lunette interrupts, to ask.

“Yeah, everyone always talks about Drakthar and I agree that his strength is really admirable but all the stories about Xander really inspire me. His determination to fight for what he believes in really drove me to try and do the same. Although I’m not really fighting people, I’m just trying to protect people with this trade union,” Cooper rambles on, dammit Xander, why did you have to inspire this guy?

I watch as Lunette starts to pull a familiar notebook out of her bag. Here we go again, I think as I find my face in my hands.

“What are you doing?” Cooper asks, finding it odd that she would pull out something in the middle of their conversation.

“Oh, whenever we run into someone who recognizes us I like to ask them who their favorite is, I keep a running tally in my notebook,” Lunette explains to him. I am all too familiar with this habit of hers, she enjoys the recognition a little too much plus she always likes to compare numbers.

“Did you want to take a look?” Lunette holds out her notebook so Cooper can see.

“No thank you,” Cooper politely declines, as most people do, not caring about our comparative popularity as much as she does.

It doesn’t really bother me that I’m not as beloved as much as the rest of my friends, I think being the fifth most popular is a result of most of my work going on behind the scenes.

For those of you who are curious, Drakthar’s tally is way ahead of everyone else’s, it’s probably due to how much people value strength in today’s society.

Xander is a distant second, his fans typically fall under two categories: Idealistic types like Cooper or young women that are enamored with all of the love songs written about him. Kali is right behind him in third, her fans are other female warriors or kids that look up to her for being so strong.

Gwendolyn falls behind her in fourth, she was kind of already known in the desert for being the Silent Brotherhood’s leader and all of the rumors about how beautiful she was so I’m kind of surprised she isn’t higher.

And Lunette and I are way behind them in sixth and fifth respectively. Honestly, I think most of the people who said we were their favorites just said so because we were the ones asking.

Still, being the least adored has its advantages, people don’t pay attention to your more subtle characteristics, they make generalizations about you like: oh you’re the guy who helped the other guys, unable to actually know what I’m capable of.

I focus back on the idealistic young man in front of me, “Why don’t we get back to business? Let’s talk about getting me off that list and maybe some suggestions about regulations you guys should change”.

Cooper nods, signaling to a chair at the edge of the desk that I take a seat in. “Okay, I am curious to know which regulations you would change?”

“For starters the regulations on what constitutes a fair trade, specifically the parts concerning which items can be traded for and the range restriction of how much each item is worth,” I tell him, studying his face as I speak, trying to find any type of tell I can that might be an in for me.

“Do you want the ranges to be adjusted? I’m not sure they will be allowed to be moved. They are set at what they are to protect people who aren’t used to haggling from getting ripped off,” Cooper explains to me, displaying to me once again that he is actually in it to help people.

I begin to craft my response, being careful which words I choose as it could be the difference in success or failure, “I understand that you are trying to protect people but the way your system works now, you’re ignoring something very important. It’s the human element. The different ways humans attribute value to things is quite astonishing, by setting a standard you’re taking away a human’s ability to attribute value themselves. To a man who works as a mechanic, a good wrench will be worth much more to him than it will to some other man, therefore your standards don’t perfectly encapsulate every situation. Profession isn’t even the only factor in this, consider sentimentality for a moment. If someone has an item that means a lot to them, such as the ring of a deceased ancestor or some other item they use as a reminder, it would be worth considerably more to that person”.

I watch his eyes the whole time I’m talking, my words tested his resolve but he isn’t quite there yet.

“Do you want to know how I ended up on your list?” I ask, knowing this will be the final point to neatly wrap up my argument.

“How?” He asks, I can tell every word out of my mouth is running through his head.

“I met a young girl, an orphan. She was in a tough position, she had no one but still as everyone does she needed gold to survive. I sympathized with her situation and wanted to help her out. I offered her help in the area that I know best, trading. I asked her what she had and she pulled out this pocket watch that belonged to her father. It wasn’t the fanciest pocket watch but it meant a lot to her. She gave it to me, hoping I could trade it for enough gold for her to keep living. It was hard but eventually, I found a man and explained to him what was going on, he was more than willing to trade for the watch. He even gave me ten times more than the maximum set by your trade union. I gave the gold to the girl and soon she was able to find a place to stay and put some food on the table. I was proud of what I did, I helped a girl who would have starved. But later an angry woman approached me, she was the wife of the man who bought the watch. She was angry with him for spending so much money on something like that so she reported me to you guys and that’s how I ended up on your list,” I explain to him, that being the actual truth after having dodged them for quite a while.

I can tell by Cooper’s reaction that I’ve won him over, he seems moved by my story as most people would be.

He takes some time to recollect his thoughts before telling me, “Your point is well made. The decisions on the trade rules are made by a larger committee. I’ll gather them and you can present this in front of them tomorrow”.

I thank him for his consideration before we take our leave, this having gone better than I could have hoped.

“That was well-spoken, I did feel sorry for that girl as well,” Maximus tells me as we head back to the tavern we are staying at.

“Thanks, I just hope these committee members are like this guy or I won’t have any luck. But I suspect that won’t be the case. From what I’ve heard about the shady stuff these guys pull I’d say they aren’t all like this kid,” I respond, I don’t want to seem negative but my goal here wasn’t really to fix everything, I just want to understand what is going on within this organization so I can destroy it.

“Come on guys, enough business talk, let’s just relax for the rest of the day. I know Fore agrees with me,” Lunette tells us, trying to change the subject so we don’t obsess over this. I look down to Fore to see if her statement is true… nope, he’s thinking about something that smells good in the distance.

“Yeah, okay, how did you want to relax?” I agree with her, wondering if she had anything specific in mind.

“The usual way,” she responds with a wink that goes unnoticed by Maximus.

Despite this, he is still able to figure out what she means by that. “I will leave you two to it. I will spend the night spreading the word of your adventures, I think there are still a few taverns I have yet to play at,” Maximus tells us as he departs, waving to use before heading off.

“Hey, Fore, why don’t you go check out that smell? Don’t freak anyone out because people are afraid of wolves but you can try to figure out what the smell is as long as no one is bothered by you,” I lean down and tell Fore so he will leave as well.

“Okay, I really want to eat it,” Fore agrees, running off to steal what is certainly someone’s dinner.

“So brothel or no brothel?” I ask Lunette, wondering if she is in the mood to include other people.

“No brothel, all your smooth talk today has got me feeling all lovey-dovey,” Lunette tells me as she grabs my arm.

“Oh, are you getting too attached to me? I thought you were the one that didn’t want to define what is going on between us,” I respond playfully, trying to get a reaction out of her.

“I already told you, we’re friends who enjoy each other’s company. Friends can love their other friends, there is nothing more to that,” she retorts with a chuckle, denying the feelings we both know we have for each other so we can continue this little game.

As we walk I feel something pinch my butt, I don’t even have to look back to know it is Lunette. “Can you save that until we get inside? I know you want a piece of this but people might judge you know?” I whisper to her, trying to get her to hold back a little.

“I don’t care, I’d do you out here in front of everyone if you weren’t so shy,” she responds as she grasps harder.

“I’d do it if I knew there wouldn’t be anyone too young that caught us, I just won’t want to scar a kid with that image,” I reiterate my point on this.

“That would be one hell of an image though. And if you’re so against it then how do you explain that?” Lunette looks down with a smirk.

I look down at myself before slyly responding, “Ah, that occurred because of what we are going to do very soon,” starting to walk faster so it can happen sooner.

I’m shocked we can keep our clothes on as we make it to our room upstairs, Lunette removing my shirt as soon as the door closes.

“What? You couldn’t go that long without gazing upon my magnificent metal body?” I joke as she pulls my shirt up over my head.

“Your parts are impressive, but we both know what’s really impressive,” she tells me as she starts to undo my pants. Just as she gets them to fall I go invisible, making her wait longer to see me.

“Kayde? Come on, why do you do this? I just want to see,” Lunette begs me.

“You should have thought about that before fixing my invisibility,” I chuckle, making sure to move around so she doesn’t know where I am.

“Fine, I’m just going to stand here doing nothing until you stop being so shy,” Lunette starts to pout, she’s so cute when she’s frustrated. I give her half a minute before I sneak close to her, deftly undoing her top without her knowing.

“Kayde!” She gasps as she feels it fall down.

“No, you don’t get to look at what I’ve got if I don’t get to look at you,” she states, trying to tie the strings on her top back together. While she is doing this I take it as an opportunity to pull down her pants.

“Dammit, I only have so many hands,” she complains as she tries to stop me. But I don’t let her, I pick her up and pull her pants completely off, throwing them across the room.

“Why do I have to be so small and skinny?” She fake curses to herself, I can tell by now that she is starting to enjoy this game. I take this opportunity to pick her up and lay her down on the bed, kissing her while I’m still invisible. I watch as her eyes stay open, the sensation must be odd when she can’t see me there.

As I try to get up off her, I feel her wrap herself around me, making it so I cannot escape. “Ha, I’ve caught you. Might as well stop this nonsense and just show yourself,” she exclaims as she clings to me.

I remain silent, instead, pulling off her top now that her hands are unoccupied.

“You know you don’t have to hide it from me anymore, I feel it between us right now. Why don’t you just reappear so I can give it a proper hello?” She suggests in a sultry tone, making me question if I should actually listen to her.

I decide against it, it’s not like she has to be able to see it to say hello. I reach back and get her off me, she scratches me a little before I finally pry her off. I try to get her onto the bed but she ends up falling onto the floor because she was struggling so much.

“Kayde, come on I…” I interrupt her as she feels something press up against her lips. She smiles before realizing what I’m going for here and agreeing to it, “Okay, if that’s how you want to do this”.

I stand there, basking in the sensation as she goes to work on me. Despite not being able to see it she is as skilled as ever. I pull back to stop her, lifting her up onto the bed so I can return the favor.

It doesn’t take long before her body gives me the signal that I needed, without warning I take her, remaining invisible all the while doing it.

“You know I hated this at first but now I find it kind of exciting,” Lunette lets out with a chuckle, enjoying this maybe even more than I am.

Finally, once it is over I reveal myself, laying down beside her in the bed.

“You should do that again sometime,” she tells me, her opinion on it having turned around completely.

“Sure thing, I’ve been waiting to try that for a while,” I admit to her.

“So, are you excited about seeing all of them again, it’s almost been a year, it is the plan to head there after you finish up talking with the trade union right?” Lunette changes the subject to the meeting we all planned a year ago.

“Yeah, I would have loved to start heading there today but with this whole talking to the committee thing I guess we’ll have to travel a little faster,” I respond, having been thinking about this for a while.

“Do you think Gwendolyn is better?” Lunette tentatively asks me, worried that she might not be.

“She is going to be better for sure, how could she be any worse than what she was?” I point out, trying to look on the bright side of things.

“I hope so… do you think if she is better that things will go back to how they were and we’ll all start traveling together again?” She asks excitedly, this is what she really wanted to know when she brought this up, I can tell.

“I don’t know. I really don’t think so. Xander and Gwendolyn always wanted to settle back down within the Silent Brotherhood, they only stayed with us because of the circumstances with falling underground and getting sucked through those portals. Nothing is going to really change when we see them. But that’s fine, I’ve been having fun just the four of us. Not to mention we need to deal with this trade union. That isn’t really something they can help us with, it requires the more careful hand, not a bunch of people who only know how to fight,” I point out. I really don’t think that we’ll get back together after all of this, even if that’s what I want.

“Even if they don’t rejoin us you don’t have to worry, I’m not going to leave you any time soon,” she assures me as she snuggles up against my metal body.

“Oh no, does that mean I have to suffer through more nights like this one?” I joke, causing her to playfully hit me.

“Seriously though, I hope Gwendolyn is okay. It’ll break my heart if she shows up the same as before,” Lunette repeats, her tone changing to reflect her mood.

“Yeah, I know. Me too,” I agree with her as I wrap my arm around her, holding onto her as we drift off to sleep.

The next morning, I return to the trade union headquarters. Cooper meets me there and brings me to a conference room underneath the main building, it turns out they have an entire complex down here.

Sitting around the large table in the center of the room are older men with notably expensive clothing, yup this is about what I was expecting. These guys aren’t going to share the same wide-eyed optimism that Cooper has so much of.

Ah, it makes sense now, they are using him as the fresh face of their operation, one the common people finds favorable. Cooper introduces me to these men before I tell them the same story I told him yesterday.

My delivery is spot on, maybe even more impressive than it was yesterday but it has the opposite result. Not a single one of them is interested in a thing I have to say, one of them even has the gall to let out a yawn while I am talking.

“Those are just the words of a man who is trying to change the rules because of outlying cases. We all know that your story, while unfortunate, is not the norm. Therefore we will not change things,” one of the oldest among them responds after hearing my plea.

The others mindlessly grumble in agreement with his statements. They expect me to leave but I have one last thing if impassioned speeches won’t work on these guys why not try leveling with them?

“Can Cooper leave the room?” I request of them, seeking to speak to the ones who truly have power.

“No, I sh….”

“Leave Cooper, it’s fine, we will hear what he has to say,” the same man interrupts him, proving without a shadow of a doubt my suspicions about Cooper's role in the union.

“So let’s get down to business gentlemen. We all know he is the only one who cares about helping others, you guys aren’t doing this for the same reasons. So what do you need for things to go back to the way they were?” I speak frankly, something this room is much more receptive to.

They whisper amongst each other before their mouthpiece responds, “I am afraid things are going to have to remain as they are. You see we don’t actually control anything, there is someone who hired us to make these regulations, someone with a lot of influence and power so much so that turning them down would be career suicide for us. We understand you are in a bind but if we were to change things it would be us that would need help. So, I am afraid things cannot return to how they were. But because you came here, you can remove your name off the list for a price”.

Ah, I see, this is another way they make gold. Put people on their banned traders’ list and have them pay to get off of it. I’m not going to make the same mistake.

“I’m guessing the cost is going to be steep knowing you clowns, I’m good. I could probably pay it but why give more gold to the enemy? In the meantime, I look forward to avoiding your little patsies. Have an absolutely shitty day gentlemen, I will see you never,” I insult them before taking my leave, proudly walking out as they stare at me unimpressed.

“How did it go?” Lunette asks me, her, Fore, and Maximus have been waiting outside.

“Not well, nothing’s changed… except now I know there is someone with a lot of influence controlling everything,” I inform her what I’ve learned.

“Okay… so what are we going to do next?” Maximus inquires, not sure what our next steps will be given I have no idea who this is.

“There are only a few people with that kind of power, we just keep narrowing down the list until there is only one person left,” I respond, that’s not actually how we’re going to do this but it's a good enough response for now.

“I know what we’re doing next. It’s time to head to that resort to meet up with the others!” Lunette declares, excited to reunite with all of them just like I am.

“Yup, let’s not waste any time,” I agree, glad to be headed away from this city and towards my friends.