whistled your winding roads

something staggered behind you

smells like honey and sweet

followed you back, collared dog

push my hands into your ribs

"harder now! he won't breathe if you do it wrong."

"don't fucking talk like that to me, i do whatever the hell i please."

you must think i care, you must think you're so pretty

"don't you?"

sinking your teeth deeper in

tastes like blue, tastes like violence

"oh you just taste so blue, Blue.

won't you cheer up?"

"man, you look just like her.

i thought, thought your name was-"

something rotting in your mouth, roaches and flies on your sinking skin

changing and splicing into something else

someone on the elevator approaching us, you can hear the clinking sound

"it's been broken for a few years now."

hardly recognize my own reflection

and every time i look in the mirror, i see him

"who?"

"oh, nobody"

addicted to something with stinging spines

sweet homemade somethings

made of nothing, right?

miserable life, isn't it?

"hand it over, i'll take good care of it."

"you promise?"

"of course! now hand it over."

working against the clock, turning hands inside out

backwards walks and figures made of clouds

imprinted onto your skin

i

don't know who i am

building up towards something, something bigger than the two of us

or was it three?

don't know

hands on neck, violence and violence and and you forgot again

harder and harder and harder

slam into the wall over and

and over

it was my fault

"who are you?

who are you?"

"who the fuck are you?

get away from me"

clenching your fist, or hand on the trigger, you were waiting on the other side all along

you were there all along, weren't you?

weren't you?

"well?

who are you?"

(January 2022)