found something shiny on the concrete

laying there the other day

a little rose-gold teardrop, hole in it

looked faded a bit, had to have been laying there many days

i carry shiny things, little magpie in my chest

told me since i was a child to pick up these things and hoard it in a nest

pretty thing, yet something else i craved

wonder about the girl with one earring

"would she know my name?"

would she want to, would she know, about me finding her glass slipper?

"want to be a prince," i fancied

come take my hand, and let me put this back with you

can't do that though, already in love with my own

prince or princess no one really knows

"a passing thought," i realized, "an impulse to dive into the unknown."

sun glinted off the earring, shiny as it could be

so i tossed it in the man-made lake, stagnant waters pulsing man-made waves

because fantasies are not for me, my life, and dreams don't come my way

never liked to dream about things

that could be real,

because then you ignore reality

ignore what you already have, and ungrateful your mother calls

no, i did not throw the shoe in the lake,

i held tightly onto it, but not for my princely dreams

held onto it so i could fall back into disarray

hide behind a screen, husband lost and life unseen

wake in a prison cell and watch the world lose their king

house burning down in a blizzard, empty home with all but one

not healthy im sure but no one told me that yet

wonder if they ever will? but for some reason, if i told someone i held this princely dream, if i hold this earring close to my chest

they'd call it unhealthy

yet the world i hide in where i watched heroes fall and man scorches the earth

no one but the hateful calls it unhealthy

I don't know how to feel. I love my love, and I love these secret worlds to hide in and be someone else

but i crave another dream all the same

so i took the earring, tucked it into my pocket

shiny thing hiding there, little secret dream like the rest

"one day ill understand why i feel this way," i thought to myself.

"one day."

(November 2021)